oneliners
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You've always known that Silver likes to fence, but this is one of the times where you see it live action and in front of you. A duel for the love he dedicates to you.
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Alternatively titled: The Regular
Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.
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- English
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- 27,935
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- 3/3
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- 2
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- 292
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
23 Dec 2019
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Jan 12 2021
CHARMING AS HECK AND GILMORE GIRLS INSPIRED????? JUST THE BEST
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namjoon [1:12]
so
you met jimin and taes roommate last nightyoongi [1:15]
…...yeahnamjoon [1:15]
met him real goodyoongi [1:16]
oh my god/
what not to do when you find yourself falling for the guy you almost slept with but then didn’t because he turned out to be your friends’ roommate: a guide by min yoongi
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- English
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- 24,450
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
14 Mar 2020
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July 1 2020
Halloween party where yoongi retreats to a shame corner (aka vmins room with a tail hanging off the bedpost) after doing something super embarrassing (aka mistakenly thinking jks costume was a sexy police officer even tho he’s just a regular police officer). Joon comes to console the poor dude and he’s dressed as a serial killer much to jins delight bc you’ll do anything for Love right? It’s a very uncomfy and awkward costume so he sits with his limbs retreated into the giant box and so just imagine a huge box with Kim namjoons head at the top and thats all the imagery you need to know about this delightful ass fic. LOVED IT
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Jeongguk reads over the poster a few more times to make sure he definitely read it right. He looks down, then back up to Taehyung and Seokjin who are both looking at him excitedly.
“This is a poster for a lost pet.” Jeongguk says bluntly.
“No. It’s a fool proof method for our dear Namjoon to get laid, and potentially find the love of his life.” Seokjin argues.
or
Namjoon's brothers try to find him a boyfriend. Jeongguk gets caught up in their scheme.
Bookmarked by confetticanon
05 Jul 2020
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“He finds himself staring at Namjoon from behind the counter. He's wearing a crisp white shirt, the underarms are damp with sweat and the sleeves cling tight to his firm muscles. He's wearing cut off jeans that makes his thighs do the Sexy Squish thing when he sits down. His hair is white blonde and cropped short, it looks pretty crispy but Jeongguk still wants to run his hands through it. There's also sweat beading at his temples and Jeongguk wants to lick it off”
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can't get it up without you by Curionenene for fanficloverme96, tangowithsuga
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
14 Jan 2019
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“Actually,” Seokjin speaks up then, because it looks like Yoongi's friends are having a hard time believing him. “I think the most dramatic one was when we literally tried to migrate to escape each other, but our planes went down, and we both drifted to the same deserted island.”
Now even Taehyung looks incredulous. “You're kidding.”
“No. We ended up fucking just so we could hasten the process and go onto the next life. Because the mosquitos there? Worse than death.”
“Wait…” Jimin says slowly. “You mean you actually die?”
~*~
(Or: Yoongi and Seokjin are soulmates. They hate each other.)
- Language:
- English
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- 29,314
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 3
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- 248
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- 2,165
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- 672
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
30 Jul 2020
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July 29 2020
I love the witty and ridiculous writing but something special about this fic is the way the author writes in a way that keeps the reader on their toes bc they want to learn just as much as ot5 do
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there are a lot of things that jungkook really, really likes about seokjin.
his absolute preference for jungkook and deference to his wants, wishes and whims chief among them.
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Jungkook bursts through his best friend’s apartment with a panicked edge, stumbling on shaky legs until his hands find purchase on a granite counter.
Taehyung stops buttering his toast, eyebrows raised in surprise, but nothing else, while Jimin takes a gentle sip of his coffee, unfrazzled by the youngest’s appearance. "Good morning, Kook."
Jungkook snaps his neck up, eyes blown.
“I just had the best sex in my life.” He whispers.
OR
namjoon sets the bar for jungkook's sex life and nothing is ever the same since
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- English
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- 26,746
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- 1/1
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- 271
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
17 Sep 2020
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Last read Sept 17 2020
comment that I left:
“sooooooo u def went to UC riverside and i’d like cash in on that yoongi pic now thx ;)god i loved everything about this. this was more than just a namkook fic but more like how all 7 of them got together to form ot7 and I loved all the little side ships and side stories going on too, esp vmin’s fight. and most of all i LOVE LOVE LOVE how relatable this entire fic is, at least for me an asian-american college girl. you’ve perfectly captured all the little nuances of college life / being in your 20s in america in a way I’ve never read in any other fic and it was soooo delightful to read little things and be like omg relatable ! the LEE SANDWICHES REF made my jaw drop lmfao and im not even from Cali or any state with a LS but what a STAPLE i love that place whenever i visit Cali lol. and the jikook fighting in korean scene made me laugh out loud “you’re scaring all the white people!” LOL brilliant. the comment about hobi’s outfit potentially looking like an overdressed international student too hahaha. i adore the way you characterize jk, and all the actions he makes are always faithful to the character you’ve built in him and i love that. vminkook and hyung line friendships are always so much fun to read, vminkook esp are just tooooo cute. eek this fic is just so fun idk what else to say
i LOVED this and couldn’t stop smiling throughout the entire thing. thanks for sharing this with us and i hope you never stop writing <33333”
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“This is wrong.” He whispers with a shake of his head. “Namjoon, we need to stop this.”
Namjoon’s jaw clenches as he regards him heavily, with much more grief than Jungkook would like. “If I knew how to stop, I would” is the reply he gets. He sees the want in Namjoon’s eyes, swirling with conflict, and Jungkook doesn’t understand how Namjoon could want him this bad, so heartbreakingly bad -
And still not want him at all.
“Let’s get back to the party, hyung. Your fiance must be looking for you."
OR
Namjoon is getting married and it's not to Jungkook, but somehow he always finds himself waking up in his bed.
- Language:
- English
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- 72,778
- Chapters:
- 10/10
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- 441
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- 1,347
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- 647
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
18 Sep 2020
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a goddamn masterpiece. I wanted to scream and sob but nothing would come out. GODDDDDD everything about this was so brilliant thought-out. the ot7 friendships are everything. They’re all old HS friends and there’s Vegas trips and flashbacks and missed moments and longing and depression and side ships and plot twists and gut wrenching sad shit and babies and adulting and fuck I love this so much.
“re: “at least I didn’t kill my friend” Jungkook spits back
my notes — “pre-Jackson’s death you could tell that NJ had hesitations of some sort abt finally taking the leap with JK, stemming from simply being nervous, perhaps breaking the friend group up (as seen with yoonmin), internalized homophobia, being scared of homophobia (as seen with jimins incident). however post-Jackson’s death really shifted the idea of Namkook in many ways. not only did Jackson’s accident and death literally stop NJ from confessing but on NJ’s end, added another internal obstacle which is guilt. this is why NJ feels like he can never truly allow himself happiness w JK, even before ever getting together with yoonji. being with JK brings guilt bc the idea of being with JK is what killed Jackson to begin with by proxy. NJ probs doesn’t think he deserves happiness with the love of his life when that was what took someone else’s boyfriend one away. Much to think about.”
I CANT WAIT TO REREAD THIS TO CATCH ALL THE HINTS AND SHIT I MISSED KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOWWWWWWWWWW
Sept 17 2020
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"Jungkook."
"Hm?" Jungkook sighs, arching his back even more as he gets the kinks out of his shoulder. He flutters his eyelashes prettly at Namjoon. "Do you need my help with anything, Hyung?" He inches the heel of his foot a little higher and presses down and Namjoon chokes back on another 'cough'.
Namjoon narrows his eyes as he looks between Jungkook and the camera. “No,” he grits out, “Just peachy.”
or
the reason why the namkook youtube live of october 2020 was only 7 minutes of silence.
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“I sometimes beat the shit out of guys who come on to you.” He said it slowly so he would never have to say it again.
Jungkook’s jaw slackened.
“You—what?“ he breathed out. “You—how long have you been doing th—that?”
“Since we started dating,” Namjoon admitted. “August.”
“Ah,” Jungkook said, “And how many guys have you beaten the shit out of?”
“Like five,” Namjoon sighed.
“Five! Five?! That’s like almost once a month!”
“Yeah…that’s about right.”
--or--
5 times Kim Namjoon (against all his non-violent instincts) beats the shit out of somebody for his boyfriend's honor.
- Language:
- English
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- 53,152
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- 8/8
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- 856
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
07 Oct 2020
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Oct 24 2020
God this is so fucking FUNNY, one of the best things I’ve ever read TBH. if ur thinking abt reading this u NEED TO.
//
“That guy from the coffee shop yesterday—the one who made me that really good latte—he sent me five pictures of his dick on instagram overnight,” Jungkook whispered, miserable, looking around. The spot was popular with faculty. People over the age of forty were everywhere. “I had to wake up to them. I wanted to text you but I didn’t know how to say it… what words to use… it was so gross. Why would he do something like that?”
“He didn’t say?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows arched, sardonic. “But actually, I already knew. He messaged me first. He thought I was you.”
“What?”
“You used my card and that’s how he got the name. He tracked me down, I told him to fuck off, and then he found you from my account.”
“Well, that sounds illegal. But—oh my god,” Jungkook said, burying his face in his hands. “I want to not see that guy again, but that’s torture! I love that coffee shop! No offense,” he said, dropping his voice, “But everybody here is like fifty.”
“So what should we do?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook moped. “We could always go to Starbucks.”
“Wouldn’t I rather die,” Namjoon said, narrowing his eyes. “Than give into the mass commercialization of coffee. The beans they use at our café are grown and sold by indigenous communities in Chile without an exploitative middle-man!”
“Okay, but they’re ground up and steamed with milk by a pervert!”
“I know, I know…. Maybe he just works Wednesdays?”
“Let’s hope.”
Namjoon took a sip. “What did the dick look like?”
“Oh my god, Joon,” Jungkook said in a low voice, serious, “It looks like somebody rolled an expired Italian sausage through a rat’s nest.”
//
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Terms and Conditions May Apply by kasuchiko (kasuchi) for mllevangogh
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
25 Sep 2020
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Seokjin grinned and rose onto his knees. "It's not like you can notarize a sex pact."
Namjoon choked back a laugh. "Hyung, you're ridiculous."
Ninety days, three countries, two deadlines, one question.
- Language:
- English
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- 65,496
- Chapters:
- 5/5
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- 1
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- 199
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- 777
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
27 Oct 2020
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Oct 27 2020
Osaka D-1 had come and gone in a blur.
(Not unlike Seokjin, who had come over and then gone in Namjoon's mouth//
But Seokjin could roll with these punches. "You think I'm hot, baby?" He posed alluringly on the edge of the bed.
Namjoon wasn't having it. "Aren't you BTS Jin? Do you really need me to validate you?" He pulled off his hoodie, the t-shirt he had on underneath coming off halfway along with it.
He caught Seokjin staring at his midsection. "Who doesn't love validation?" Seokjin replied, a lightness in his voice that was definitely not in his hot gaze.
"The parking garage industry," Namjoon replied, and straddled Jin's lap. "Will you kiss me now?"
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from twitter au idea : [seat neighbor airplane au, omega yoongi is so fucking attracted to his seat neighbor's smell that he accidentally starts leaking and alpha joon is like 0_0 "you um... you - your smell? i think you..." to which yoongi promptly replies "fuck, oh my god"]
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#CompletelyUnexpectedTrueIdentity by Mother of Pearl (notnacre)
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
06 Sep 2021
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Jungkook doesn't see any problem with roleplaying whatever kind of character he wants, including a princess. Nobody on the internet is ever who they say they are.
Namjoon knows his new roleplay partner Jungsoon isn't really a runaway princess. That's just a game, but it gets real when he starts to fall for her. It doesn't matter that they've never met irl. His gut tells him he knows everything he needs to about the real girl behind the character.
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- English
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- 100,392
- Chapters:
- 31/31
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- 1
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
09 Nov 2020
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dec 4 2020
this is such a fucking delightful brilliant masterpiece omfg my only regret is not being able to read this on my books app otherwise I’d have so many highlighted things and annotations to include in this bookmark but omg. PERFECT FIC
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Jeongguk's first time meeting his new neighbors included a wavering stack of move-in boxes, a burnt casserole, and an embarrassing amount of flavored lube.
(i.e.: the four times Seokjin and Jungkook had to knock on Jimin and Taehyung's door about the loud sex. And one time the duty falls on the other foot.)
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10 minutes into the Mariah Carey holiday special, Yoongi realizes something.
It’s terrible. The production is terrible and everyone is lip syncing and he doesn’t even like holiday music very much and he certainly doesn’t care about all the celebrity cameos. It’s terrible, and yet he’s sitting there, Seokjin’s toes squeezed under his thighs for warmth, and he hasn’t thought about getting up and going to his room even once.
He peeks at Seokjin from the corner of his eye again, watches him laugh as Mariah Carey sings in the middle of an enchanted forest, and thinks, fuck. I might really be enjoying this, actually.
(OR: yoongi and seokjin are roommates, and it takes a little holiday spirit for them to see that maybe they could be more)
Series
- Part 1 of yoonjin holiday special
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- English
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- 20,010
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
20 Dec 2020
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Dec 20 2020
sobs this was the best thing ever 😭😭😭 my mf HEART!!!
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Before every performance and interview and photoshoot, Namjoon pulls Jungkook aside and presents his face, smiling gently, cheeks plump and dimples standing at attention, for Jungkook to press his fingers into. And every time, Jungkook feels a wash of relief and gratitude and something that he doesn’t know how to describe wash over the surface of his skin.
He knows it’s magic.
He just doesn’t know where to go from here.
- Language:
- English
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- 10,608
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
22 Dec 2020
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Dec 21 2020
The chaos is familiar and comfortable, and Jungkook looks around the room again as they’re all heckling Seokjin.
His eyes are drawn, unthinkingly, to Namjoon. Always to Namjoon.
He’s beautiful, grin so wide his eyes look like they’re clenched shut, slapping at the bare skin of his own thigh where his shorts have ridden up. And of course, his dimples, deep and shining with their own collection of magic.
Jungkook wants desperately to kiss him, but that would be too much. Too far. He’s already pushing it, poking Namjoon’s face all the time. And even though Namjoon said it didn’t hurt at all, even felt kind of good, Jungkook doesn’t totally believe him. Sometimes, Namjoon will close his eyes when Jungkook touches him, looking almost pained, even when Jungkook is being extra gentle.
When Namjoon looks over and sees Jungkook looking at him, his smile softens, turns into something private and precious, just between the two of them. Jungkook returns it, grinning widely and rolling his eyes at Seokjin, even as the bottom drops out of his stomach.
Jungkook’s massive crush on Namjoon is threatening to swallow him whole, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. It was fine up until they started doing this...whatever it is they’re doing, this ritual entirely for Jungkook’s sake. Namjoon is a friend and a leader and someone that Jungkook loves, and it was easy to toss all his extra feelings in a corner and ignore them when Namjoon treated him just the same as everyone else. But now they have this thing that’s just for them, a secret, kind of, and Jungkook has never really liked keeping secrets before but he likes this.
He likes having this with Namjoon.
//
Taehyung and Jimin both stare at him as they swallow. Jimin takes another crunching bite of apple and hands it over to Taehyung, who slowly does the same.
“Okay, fuck, what is it?” Namjoon is not good under pressure.
“Are you and Jungkookie secretly dating or something?”
Namjoon chokes on air. “Are we what?”
Jimin rolls his eyes again. “Are you dating? Or just fucking before shows?”
“I hope they’re not fucking,” Taehyung chimes in mildly, “they’re only ever gone for like five minutes.”
“True.”
“We’re not fucking,” Namjoon whisper-yells, feeling distressingly close to the end of his rope.
“So you’re dating then.”
“No! We’re not doing that either!”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well,” Namjoon starts, and then stops, because. Well. He doesn’t really get it either.
Jungkook has been poking his dimples for weeks now, usually at least once a day, and Namjoon has been resolutely ignoring the way his whole body reacts to Jungkook’s strong hands cradling his jaw. He doesn’t think Jungkook has noticed yet, too caught up in whatever is going through his own mind, but Namjoon knows he can’t hide it forever.
//
“A potion?” Yoongi has an eyebrow raised disapprovingly and a slight frown sitting on his mouth like an unwanted guest.
“It was Jimin’s idea.”
“What kind of potion? Is it a fun one?” Seokjin snags one of Namjoon’s bags of chips and examines it closely before ripping it open and chowing down.
“It’s a truth-telling one. And no, not very fun so far.”
Seokjin and Yoongi both still immediately, and in the silence Namjoon crunches down on the hard candy just for something to do with his mouth that doesn’t involve blurting out all his deepest, darkest secrets--like how he accidentally jerked off wearing one of Yoongi’s FG shirts instead of his own and somehow got come on the sleeve and had to panic-overnight another one.
He feels a slight push at the bottom of his skull, a sensation he’s starting to recognize as bad news, and opens his mouth to confess everything to Yoongi, when Yoongi suddenly brings his palm up and slaps it over Namjoon’s mouth.
“Do you want to talk to us right now?”
Namjoon shakes his head, Yoongi’s hand moving with him, still clamped over Namjoon’s mouth. Namjoon is so grateful for him he could cry.
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Summary
Namjoon may be a romantic, wanting to whisk a dazzling and intelligent young man away for a weekend and kiss him on the steps of the nearest palace, but RM can’t date anyone, let alone someone male. Namjoon meets plenty of guys, but he can’t exactly propose to any of them underneath a staggering, majestic tree that somehow perfectly symbolizes their relationship, so he tries not to let himself want.
Then he meets Big Matthew, the living human embodiment of an extra-large meat lover's pizza.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,943
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- 1/1
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- 1
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- 421
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- 2,155
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- 460
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
22 Dec 2020
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dec 22 2020
jfc this is one of the best things I’ve ever read. how can someone PRODUCE this type of stuff from the top of the dome this is masterful. like i was just CHEESIN like an idiot the entire way through and taking pauses to my phone down to laugh. BM is such a delight whew
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Summary
Jungkook is completely and utterly screwed the moment he develops a crush on the voice behind the McDonald’s Drive Thru speaker.
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Summary
Seokjin and Yoongi go fishing on three separate occasions, one of which involves a duck-shaped paddle boat and extremely risky activities.
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Summary
“So,” the guy speaks up, cutting the silence and Yoongi’s creepy staring to an immediate halt, “what are you up to this evening?”
Yoongi curses under his breath. “Shit. I don’t know. Literally up for anything so long as I don’t have to hear my neighbors trying to fuck each other to death.”
--
the trials and tribulations of min yoongi, kim seokjin, and their horny neighbors from hell
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,389
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
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- 136
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- 2,220
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- 533
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
15 Jan 2021
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Jan 15 2021 / comment left
a gem, a must-read
““How long do you think they’ve been together?” Seokjin asks out of the blue one evening. Their restaurant of the night is a pizza joint in Itaewon that Seokjin claims is ‘authentic New York pizza’. Neither of them really know what authentic New York pizza tastes like cause neither of them went to New York, but Seokjin says they put macaroni on their pizza slices, which according to him is about as American as you can get.
“Who?” Yoongi says around his ridiculously large slice of macaroni pizza.
“Baby and Yeobo.”
“Hmm.” Yoongi thinks as he chews. The extra carbs are siphoning some of his brainpower along with the visuals of Seokjin in front of him licking the pizza grease off his plump bottom lip. “I’d say two months.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You know, like when you’re in those early stages of the relationship and you just can’t keep your hands off of each other.”
“I don’t, actually.”
Yoongi looks at Seokjin with a raised eyebrow. “You never were like that with your boyfriends?”
“I mean,” Seokjin admits with a shrug of his shoulders. He takes another bite and licks the cheese off his lip. Yoongi discreetly slides Seokjin the napkin dispenser before he seriously loses his shit. “We fucked a lot, yeah. But it wasn’t like the way Baby and Yeobo do it. Like...they’re gross and annoying, but they’re also gross and annoying in love. Not even a two-months kind of love.”
“You’re saying they’ve been together long?”
“High school. Definitely.”
“Shit. I can’t even remember my high school boyfriend.””
//
“They stopped to grab some frozen yogurt on the way back, and Yoongi wants to talk about how fucked up his own bowels are going to be when this spicy hot and frozen sweet mess in his stomach has the time to fully digest, but he has talked about taking a shit way too much for one night and would very much like to never discuss taking a shit for the rest of his life to come, thank you very much.
“I guess I’ll see you around, Yoongi-yah,” Seokjin says. He salutes Yoongi goodbye with his tiny pink yogurt spoon and then uses that spoon to quickly steal one last bite of Yoongi’s frozen yogurt. He’s been doing that the entire walk back home. Yoongi didn’t have it in him to stop him.
“I’ll see you around too,” Yoongi says, remaining cool and calm and not thinking about shit, literal or metaphorical. He would take a swipe at Seokjin’s frozen yogurt, but Seokjin’s frozen yogurt concoction is a sugary nightmare of gummy bears, crushed cookie crumble topping, honey and chocolate, and other things that would keep Yoongi up until the witching hour.
So, he just waves his little pink spoon in goodbye, and Seokjin waves his spoon goodbye, and they both wave their spoons goodbye like two awkward grown men would do when neither wants to be the first to really say goodbye. They keep waving them as they inch little by little back into their respective apartments until the last thing Yoongi sees before he disappears inside is Seokjin waving his spoon from out of the door crack.”
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Tags
Summary
Hating Yoongi is a Seokjin thing, and hating Seokjin is a Yoongi thing.
In theory, this would be fine — if only they weren't roommates.
Roommates who — after a slight blunder involving childproof locks, and one relatively harmless Kim Namjoon — get stuck in a snack pantry together.