BritishAssistant
Fandoms
Recent works
-
My Mirror Speaks (With Irreverence) by BritishAssistant
Fandoms: The Mentalist (TV 2008)
24 Nov 2025
Tags
Summary
There’s a psychic in the offices of the California Bureau of Investigation
It’s not Patrick Jane. -
Tags
Summary
You wake up in a room with no doors, no lights, and Jamil.
There are twenty four bottles which need to be drunk before you can escape.
Who’s drinking them?
-
The Little Golden Fox by BritishAssistant
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga), One Piece (Anime & Manga)
23 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
In one world, Namikaze Minato is successful in sealing away the nine tailed beast.
In another he…fudges it a bit.
(Or what if you were reborn in a rival fandom, but it was a rival fandom AU)
Series
- Part 3 of Pirates and/or Ninjas
-
Soul Searching (Is Harder If You Have Different Maps) by BritishAssistant
Fandoms: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
08 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
The Villainous Paranoiac ends up at Night Raven College with the means to find their soulmate at hand.
Now if only Twisted Wonderland’s soulmates worked the same way the ones in their world did…
-
Tags
Summary
You travel to the Grove to say goodbye to your most favorite adult when she becomes a God.
So why are all the other adults here saying she’s doing such horrible things?
(In which Godpoke experiences Baby’s First Crisis of Faith)
Recent series
-
Pirates and/or Ninjas by BritishAssistant
Fandom Naruto, Naruto (Anime & Manga), One Piece, One Piece (Anime & Manga)
23 Jun 2025
- Words:
- 88,005
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 86
-
Summary
Jon and Martin bring home more than just cough drops from Aberdeen.
Back in London, certain people have Opinions on this.
(A series on found families, subvocalizations, and the aftermath of apocalypses-that-aren’t.)(Inspired by the amazing Did’s ‘take a sad song and make it better’ verse.)
- Words:
- 33,359
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 45
-
Summary
Jonathan Sims, researcher, lamia, and newly single, gets scammed into taking care of a creature which he is vehement is a cat.
Martin Blackwood, holder of multiple jobs, minotaur, and with no dating history to speak of, somehow gets roped into helping look after the oddest creature he’s ever seen.
- Words:
- 5,398
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 7
-
Inmate 0307 by BritishAssistant
Fandom Anthony Horowitz - Fandom, Diamond Brothers — Anthony Horowitz, Diamond Brothers— Anthony Horowitz, Evillious Chronicles, ナンバカ | Nanbaka
22 Sep 2019
- Words:
- 23,519
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
There is something not-quite right about Yui Komori.
Or, Yui is four (but also thirty nine) when she sees her first ghost.
Series
Bookmarked by BritishAssistant
17 Feb 2026
-
Tags
Summary
"What were the possible symptoms again? Hallucinations, fever, mental impairment, disassociation, psychosis." Peter's ticking them off on his fingers, like they're in class.
Bookmarked by BritishAssistant
13 Feb 2026
-
Mission Logs From The SM-13 by FauxNay
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Iron Lung (Video Game)
12 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
Iron Lung Group Chat AU
In cases where the SM model submarines lose radio signal, a long distance chat server will be activated to keep the pilot and COI Captain in charge of the sub connected to prevent any loss of information that may occur. Unfortunately for Captain Ava, she's in charge of the COI's most infamous convict.
This mission can only go so well
Bookmarked by BritishAssistant
11 Feb 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Five times Teresa Lisbon realizes she's in love with Patrick Jane, and one time he tells her instead.
Bookmarked by BritishAssistant
07 Feb 2026
-
Tags
Summary
"And you thought the Airstream was the tackiest place we'd ever do this," he murmurs.
"Still is," she replies, against his mouth, hands between them, unbuttoning his vest, and he makes a noise like he's hurt.
(7x13 missing scene).
Bookmarked by BritishAssistant
07 Feb 2026