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Momo hated today. Everything about today.
It sucked. It sucked like nothing had ever sucked before. First, apparently, she has amnesia (even her grandmother was saying she did!), and now everyone is expecting her to know probably eight different people she’d never seen in her life before. Looking at her like they knew her. Like she was someone they’d known for forever, and not someone they’d just met.
Then there was the strange nerd with big, brown eyes staring at her so hopefully. It felt wrong. She shouldn’t have been stared at with such hope, like she’d hung the stars for him. She didn’t do anything of the sort.
She didn’t even know their names! Except for Jiji, who, why was he even here? Something about being possessed?
What the fuck was her life?
Groaning, she ground the palm of her hands into her eyes. A headache had been forming since this morning. Miko and Kei wouldn't stop blathering on about some Okarun guy and it was pissing her off. Something about the guy being her "bae", despite the fact that she didn't know a single thing about him, and the only freshest memory in her mind was dumping her ex. So yeah, she'd say she had a right to be a bit ticked.
Squealing.
What now?
She glanced up with a scowl towards the entrance. Standing there was the nerd with big doe eyes this morning, panting loudly. He looked at her with a wide smile. “Miss Ayase!” He jogged forward. “I came to ask you something.”
Whistling.
Momo’s face burned with shame. So many eyes on her. Peeling back her armor and staring into her soul.
Filthy.
She tugged the jacket around herself further.
“Could we have lunch together, please?” His voice was so soft, a smile on his face. Whoops and cheers sounded from behind him. A few guys were cheering behind him.
The back of Momo’s neck prickled. What was she, an easy sleep? Was that this guy’s goal?
“Oh so bold, Okarun!” Kei chirped beside her.
Even Kei?
Momo bolted upright to her feet.
“Fuck off, creep. What am I, some slut-?” She snarled the words out faster than she could think. Red, hot anger poured throughout her every essence as she rose. Like hell she'd just sit around and take this from some guy who'd only spoken a word to her this morning. The guy who'd said…
"Welcome home."
Shoving past the guy—Okarun, according to Kei—she rushed out of the classroom and down the hallway. She broke up with her tuna ex, suddenly had amnesia, and some dirtbag thought she was an easy play.
Shame gnawed at her chest. It wasn't her fault she'd forgotten everything, supposedly. The last thing she'd do is let a guy take advantage of her in this state. She was smarter than that! He was probably just like the rest of her so-called friends. Just eager for her to return to how she was supposed to be. But she couldn't, and she'd be damned if they couldn't accept that. Even if he seemed harmless, she wasn't willing to put him above herself. He could deal with it.
So then, why was there such an ache in her chest?
Momo huffed and kicked at the vending machine.
The pampy clattered loudly at the bottom.
With newly acquired pampy, Momo made her way towards the back of the school. Nobody hung around there; the edge of the woods was too creepy for most. She always went there when she wanted to be alone, to avoid Miko and Kei’s prying questions about her shitty love life. Or just people being weird. Or when she got too into her head about things-
“Momo!”
She nearly leapt out of her skin at the yell. Standing there, heaving and face flushed like he’d been running, was Okarun. He clutched a pampy in one hand and his glasses in the other.
“What do you want, creep-”
“Please just- I'm sorry for embarrassing you.” He shoved the pampy at her. She had two now.
She eased back.
Why did she feel bad?
“Sorry-” She drew her knees up to her chest. “Okarun, was it? It's. Just been a lot today and I thought you might have been-”
“Don't apologize.” Okarun’s voice was stern. But he had a graceful smile on his face. He sat down beside her, but kept a small distance. Respectful. She liked that.
Cute.
Where did that come from?
Slapping her cheeks a few times, Momo breathed out slowly. He was cute, she could admit that much. Handsome, if she wanted to be specific.
“Why the pampy?” She mumbled, “And how’d you know my favorite flavor?”
He shrugged, leaning against one of the trees with a soft smile. “Your face always lit up whenever somebody bought it for you.” He shut his eyes, pushing his glasses up and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Momo sucked in a breath between her teeth. Ripping open the pampy and stabbing the straw into it, she sucked sharply.
Not handsome. Not handsome. Not handsome—
She repeated it like a mantra.
“Thanks for not- yelling at me again.” Okarun peeked an eye open at her, letting his glasses slide back down. “I'm sorry if I pushed it, I've just-” He let out a breath that rattled him, “-I've missed you so much. So much it hurt.”
Curiosity ached in Momo’s chest. She didn't deserve this. This strange gaze he gave her, full of raw affection.
“Why?”
The question tumbled out before she could stop it.
“Because you're you, Miss Ayase. I don't really need a reason.” He sat up a little further and leaned forward. A smile that stretched wide, a flash of fangs. Hunger. Adoration. So many emotions she couldn't name. “But if I had to give some, I could.”
She didn't move back. Couldn't. Wouldn’t. Just silently nodded for him to continue. This felt different. New. Better. Like he was only prying her open with her permission. He only rummaged in her soul because she gave him permission.
“You're so-” He made a vague gesture, then laughed softly to himself. “Sorry, there's so much that I'm kinda blanking where to start.”
“How’d you get your name?” she blurted. Something about it nagged at her, a possessive urge to know, even if she didn't have the right to.
Okarun’s face bloomed reds. It matched the glints in his eyes.
Handsome.
He fidgeted with his uniform, turned his gaze away from Momo then back onto her. “You. You gave it to me.”
“How?”
“I don't know if you want to know. It- sorta pertains to all the stuff you don't believe in.”
She felt her stomach twist at that. All the lies she'd been hearing. Aliens. Yokai. The insanity of it all.
But somehow, it felt like if Okarun said it, it wouldn't be a lie. Like if he earnestly said it, it'd be true.
“Well- we made a stupid bet. Ended up going wrong and you got abducted by aliens. I got cursed by a ghost-”
“How so?” She interrupted, grinning.
“Not saying.” He scowled at her, but the corner of his lip twitched up. “Anyways, you uhm- freaked out over my actual name, and because I liked the occult, you named me Okarun.” He shrugged. “But you were— are— my first friend. First everything.”
He paused, then sat straight up. “I don't want to force you though seriously-”
Momo burst out laughing.
Okarun blinked owlishly at her.
She wheezed, rolling over and kicking her leg against his thigh. “God- fuck sorry you just- said that so assuredly- no way aliens-”
“Yes aliens! And ghosts! Quit laughing, Miss Ayase!” He shrieked, gripping her ankle. He tugged.
She just laughed harder. “Aliens- I thought my grandma was lying but you were so serious I almost believe it!” She yanked on her leg as she wheezed, barely able to sit up.
Okarun tugged harder on her ankle, dragging her closer. He slammed his hand by her head. “You’re so cruel, yo. Seriously, Miss Ayase! It was a very important part of our friendship!”
He was half over her, huffing and glasses askew. Momo’s heart hammered in her chest.
She should kick this guy off her. Shout at him for being so bold.
Couldn't.
Wouldn't.
A curse of his big brown eyes, she supposed.
“You still haven't explained why I named you, Okarun.” She snickered. Light. She felt so light. Like the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders anymore. She wasn't someone to win for an easy sleep anymore. She wasn't a brash, impulsive idiot to him.
“It's cause of my actual name, which you didn't believe me at first with.” He relaxed a little, lips quirking up into a grin. “You freaked out and flung me into a wall.”
“Well?”
It couldn't have been bad.
“Ken. It's Ken Takakura.”
Momo screamed.
Swinging her arm up, she shoved him off and sat up. “You're lying! You're fucking lying!” She wailed.
Okarun was curled in on himself, wheezing and beaming like he’d won the lottery. “I'm serious! My real name is Ken Takakura!”
Momo lunged at him. She wasn't sure if he didn't notice or just let her, but she rolled over onto him and shook him by the collar. He wouldn’t stop laughing, just tapped her wrist repeatedly. The laughter wouldn't stop, and she couldn't stop the giggles bubbling in her chest, too. “You've gotta be screwing with me.”
“I promise I'm not, Miss Ayase!”
Miss Ayase.
“You called me Momo earlier, why so formal now?”
She loosened her grip. He tilted his head slightly. “I just- it felt right. But I don't want to disrespect you, that's all. Sorry if I overstepped by calling you Momo-”
“I'd rather you keep calling me Momo.” The words were unexpectedly soft. Didn't sound like her, yet for some reason it did. “Sounds…right. Coming from you.” She drummed her fingers on his chest.
“Miss Ay- Momo.” Okarun stared up at her.
That same look. The one like Momo had hung the moon and stars for him and him alone.
“You- you asked me why it hurt when you were gone earlier.” He reached a hand up, slow. Not pushing it. “You're someone who’s- so brilliant. Thoughtful.”
Momo had been called impulsive. Brash. Running headfirst into things.
She had not been called thoughtful.
A nod.
“You taught me a lot. About loving.”
Her chest ached.
“It's hard to explain, just…everything about you? If I'm being honest? I mean, you're just so wonderful. Even if you like to rile me up.” He mumbled the last part under his breath, but Momo still caught it.
She jabbed a finger into his chest. He hissed sharply. “Rude. Aren't you supposed to be complementing me right now?”
He writhed underneath her, “I still like that about you it's just annoying at times.”
“You shouldn't be finding me annoying!”
“I absolutely can find you annoying?!”
She wanted to smack Okarun. Shake him till he dropped or kiss him so hard his lips bruised. She hadn't even known him for a day yet somehow he’d managed to wriggle his way underneath her skin. Reach between her ribs and pull her heart onto full display so easily.
She smacked his chest, “No you can't! Aren't you supposed to like me or something?”
“I can like you and still think you're a brat!” Hands grappled her own, fingers sliding easily between hers. Warmth flooded Momo. She dug her nails in and pushed back. “You’re such a bitch sometimes!” He snarled.
Momo shifted and fell back, dragging Okarun with her. He yelped and yanked her arm up. “You act like you’re any better!” She shrieked, “Knowing you, we probably got into this mess because you can’t let shit go!”
“Oh like you’re so much better, Momo. You’re a genius yet so foolish at the same time!” He snapped back. He pulled harder. Anger was a good look on him. She hissed in pain and pressed her foot against his stomach. She kicked hard and watched him wheeze when he dropped onto her. She dragged him up.
This was so stupid.
He dug his nails into her thigh and rammed his head into her chest. Momo hit the ground with a sharp thud. She rolled them over and raised a fist.
This was so fucking stupid.
She struck him. Watched his nose begin to bleed. He struck back.
Okarun shoved her off, something akin to a growl bubbling from his throat. He had a wide, feral grin like this was fun. (It was.) Blood pooled from his nose, but he didn’t seem to notice. He barreled into her.
They tumbled to the ground again. They pulled at each other. Nails met skin, and fingers tangled in fabric. He pushed her down. She kicked him off. Lunged after him and grabbed his face. Momo’s fingers found their way into Okarun’s mouth. He bit down. Hard enough to draw blood.
For some reason, this was the most normal Momo had felt. She wasn’t weak. Okarun didn’t treat her like she was. He just…seemed to want her. Want her in all her brashness and upset. In her dazed stupor, or in her trying to hide away from everyone.
Okarun wanted it all. Wanted her in all her horrible layers. The rot that ached beneath her that gnawed away at everything she loved.
He panted loudly underneath her. Her finger was still jammed between his teeth, blood trickling from his mouth and down his jaw.
She smiled.
“Did we do that often?”
She spoke like it wasn’t her.
Okarun scowled, bit a little harder. “We do that often. Please don’t treat yourself like an outsider.” He let go of her finger.
A neat ring of teeth marks on her finger— blood dripped uselessly.
He dropped his head back to the ground. Blood pooled from his mouth. Her blood. He licked it up. Her finger— her ring one, her mind uselessly supplied— was still bleeding. Drops falling onto Okarun’s face and neck, staining his uniform and teeth.
This was absurd. Stupid. Everything Momo was.
She burst into another fit of laughter.
“What the hell are we doing?” She couldn’t stop. “This is so fucking stupid- god-”
Okarun fumbled with her hand, shaking as he brought up her finger. Swiped a thumb to wipe away blood, but it just stained. All so stupid. He used his sleeve to wipe away more blood.
She leaned down, fingers tangling into Okarun’s hair.
Impulsive. So utterly impulsive. She pressed her forehead against his. Could smell the copper on his mouth.
Stupid. Brash. Thoughtless.
Her’s. All her’s.
“Can I kiss you?”
He stared blankly, then nodded slowly.
She pressed a kiss against his mouth. Copper against peach. She puffed warm air into his mouth, lips curling into a smile. He let out a noise between strangled choking and a sob. “Momo- Don’t do this. Please.”
“Why not?”
She pulled away, but was quickly dragged back down by hands in her hair. “I won’t be able to let you go, not again-” Words mumbled against her lips between frantic kisses. “I did it once already, Momo, I can’t do it again, don’t make me do it again.” He bit her bottom lip and tugged. He lacked experience (not that Momo was really any better), but he made up for it in eagerness. Hunger. Love.
He wasn't kidding.
Wasn’t playing about his devotion.
Even though she was not the Momo everyone else seemed to cling to, exposed and bare to those she didn't know, he adored her regardless. He didn't expect her to be anyone but herself.
She kissed with equal fervor. Her gut screamed to show this boy the same devotion he gave her. Momo shifted so that she could straddle him better. However, he paused and pressed a hand on her mouth. Why did that make her ache so much? Like she’d been waiting for this. Waiting to kiss him senseless.
He sat up and gently nudged her off his lap. For a second, she thought this odd fantasy was over, but he simply rested against the tree trunk from earlier and beckoned her again—an anxious smile on his face. Momo quickly found her spot again and tangled her fingers into his black curls.
“I won’t leave.”
The one thing Momo was sure of in these few days of emotional whirlwind. That she’d stay, she’d stay with Okarun. Whether it be here, kissing against the tree trunk behind the school, wherever else in school, or at home with her grandmother and the other strangers.
He keened into her mouth at that. Teeth slid along her bottom lip. Copper heavy on her tongue as he frantically licked into her mouth as if she’d disappear if he stopped.
Moonlight. The wistful thinking of wishing to go home.
Momo pressed forward, but hissed in pain when her teeth clashed against his. “Ow…” Oddly familiar. It was warm. Disgustingly so. She desperately wanted more.
“Not as bad as last time.” He deadpanned. Dropped his head to her shoulder with a laugh. “I can’t- I could’ve done this so much earlier.”
She scowled, propping her chin on the top of his head. “But you didn’t, so you have to settle for me instead.”
“I’m not settling for anyone; it’s still you, Momo. I don’t care what I have to do. I’m not letting you go again.” The words were resolute. Arms snaked around her waist and pulled. “For fucks sake I’m skipping class just to fight with you, then make out, I feel like that should be very obvious, I’m not settling.” He spat. Anger was a perfect look on him. Something so gentle yet sharp the moment its peace was threatened. Okarun nuzzled into her collarbone with a content sigh. “You’re amazing. I don’t want anyone else but you, Momo.”
Momo swallowed and slumped against him.
“Yeah. Whatever you say.”