Chapter Text
Dave checks his watch. He’s got about five minutes before he needs to leave to meet Karkat at the subway. He’d made the mistake of starting to get ready way too early, and now he’s fighting the nerves by making nigh imperceptible alterations to his look, even though he knows they will be swept away the moment he walks out into the wind. But, hey, it’s better than flipping his shit about the fact that he’s going to be hanging out one on one with Karkat for the whole evening.
He ruffles his bangs one last time to get them to fall just right, and adjusts the scarf Roxy gave him so it sits casually around his shoulders. He zips and unzips his hoodie, checking to see if it makes any difference in his overall appearance. It doesn’t, really.
He ends up heading out two minutes early, sliding a few pairs of earplugs into his pocket. At the last minute, he shoves a baggie of edibles into his pocket. He has no idea if Karkat would have any interest in this kind of thing, but, hey, anything can happen.
***
Karkat’s already leaning against the subway entrance when Dave arrives, staring into his phone with that perpetually pissed off expression. It’s dark outside, and the lights in the street reflect down on Karkat’s face, making the bags under his eyes stand out more than usual. Why the hell this of all things makes him seem cuter is a goddamn mystery.
DAVE: sup
KARKAT: OH, HEY. LET’S GO?
DAVE: hell yeah
They walk down the stairs, stand on the platform. Dave gestures to the sign that the train is coming in two minutes. Karkat glances up, nods, grumbles something about not having the worst timing, and that’s it. Dave taps his foot up and down, waiting for Karkat to say something else. But, for once, he isn't doing anything. Karkat’s pointedly staring, frowning and unblinking, into the subway tracks like they just stole his apple juice. Wait, does Karkat even like apple juice?
It’s so fucking weird that he isn’t saying anything. Karkat’s always complaining about something. They’re in a fucking subway station - it’s freezing, there’s trash everywhere, there’s fucking rats running up and down the tracks, it smells like piss. Needless to say, there’s plenty to complain about. Normally Karkat would be having a fucking field day with this. Why isn’t he saying anything?
Come to think of it, it’s almost just as weird that Dave isn’t saying anything. Normally he wouldn’t think so much before blabbing away, but now he’s mentally Kobe-ing lame-ass small talk ideas into his mental trash can left and right. Could he comment on the weather? No, Karkat’s not gonna want to talk about the fucking weather; it’s literally the poster child for boring conversation topics. And it’s probably a little bit weird to just ask someone point blank with no preamble what their opinion is on apple juice. Does finding someone hot destroy your ability to communicate or something? If so, Dave has got to figure out a way to kick this thing. Potentially getting some action at some point far in the future is totally not worth this level of awkwardness.
He wonders if Karkat just doesn’t want to be here in the first place. Technically, it was Sollux who instigated this whole thing. Maybe the dude is only coming along to be polite. Horrified, Dave wonders if they even have any chemistry outside of fighting with each other. Have they ever had a normal conversation? Dave quickly comes to the realization that this could be a long and awkward night. He’s suddenly extremely thankful to his past self for grabbing the edibles.
Thankfully, Karkat’s awkward subway staredown and Dave’s mental descent are interrupted by the arrival of the train. Now for the next hurdle: getting through what is likely to be a half hour train ride without making this even more awkward than it already is. The train is decently packed. There’s one seat open and Dave gestures for Karkat to take it, which earns him a small smile in return. Dave mentally pats himself on the back for being a gentleman and then, horrified, mentally chastises himself for treating this like a date. This is a completely platonic bro clubbing trip. And even if it was a date, it would be going so fucking poorly at this point that there would be no reason to pat himself on the back. He has got to fucking say something. Literally anything, no matter how inane, is better than looking down at Karkat for thirty fucking minutes while he slouches forward, and stares at a spot directly above Dave’s shoulder, and avoids eye contact like Dave’s got fucking cooties.
DAVE: so uh
Dave looks over his shoulder at what Karkat’s death-glaring into. It’s a cringey personal injury attorney ad. A classic. These things are fucking everywhere.
DAVE: you thinking about hiring that guy
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: well youve been staring unblinking at the dollar store saul goodman on that ad for the past two minutes
DAVE: so either youre making heart eyes at him
DAVE: which in that case there is nothing we can do to save your taste in men
DAVE: like the doctors are telling me its completely fucking braindead and we gotta pull the plug
DAVE: or
DAVE: for some reason you need a lawyer
DAVE: which honestly with your anger issues i would believe it
Karkat, thankfully, leans back in the seat, looks up at Dave and raises an eyebrow, flicks out the corner of his mouth in a slightly smug smirk which is way too fucking hot for this early on in the dat- wait, no. For this early on in the *platonic bro hang*. Now is not the time to be getting ahead of himself.
KARKAT: WHAT, I CAN’T BE APPRECIATING IT FOR ITS “IRONIC VALUE”?
DAVE: aw dude
DAVE: howd you know irony is my love language
KARKAT: HMM, I WONDER HOW I WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO ASCERTAIN THAT. YOU ONLY BRING IT UP ONCE EVERY .2 SECONDS.
DAVE: clearly still not often enough
DAVE: plus this shits pretty mid as far as irony goes
DAVE: like i look at this and think theres a 95 percent chance that dudes a complete tool
DAVE: either way not enough jpeg artifacts for my tastes
KARKAT: AH, A CONEUSSEUR OF THE OVERT, SHITTY, IN YOUR FACE GRAPHICS.
KARKAT: I SHOULD’VE KNOWN ANYTHING MORE SUBTLE WOULD FLY STRAIGHT OVER YOUR PEA-SIZED BRAIN.
DAVE: bro do not even try to talk down to me about irony
DAVE: that shit is ass and you know it
DAVE: its even worse than the fucking love poems they put up in the trains in terms of pure cringiness
Karkat makes a face like he’s genuinely offended.
KARKAT: WOW, I FIGURED YOU HAD NO APPRECIATION FOR THE FINE ARTS A LONG TIME AGO, I DIDN’T KNOW YOUR HEAD WAS THAT EMPTY.
KARKAT: THOSE POEMS ARE FUCKING AWESOME.
KARKAT: THEY SERVE TO ROMANTICIZE A NORMALLY MUNDANE EXPERIENCE OF TAKING PUBLIC TRANSIT.
KARKAT: LOOK AT THAT ONE. TELL ME THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN FIND LOVE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, EVEN IN THIS RAT-INFESTED, PISS STAINED, TRASH HEAP OF A CITY?
Dave looks over at the poem pinned up on the side of the car. He has no fucking clue what Karkat is talking about. Either this is genuine, and so overtly sappy that it gives him second-hand embarrassment to read, or it's an ironic masterpiece.
DAVE: dude youre out of your mind
DAVE: i cant even bring myself to read the whole thing
DAVE: are you actually into sappy love poems
KARKAT: YOU CONTINUE TO BETRAY JUST HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT YOU ARE.
KARKAT: EVERYONE TRIES TO DISMISS LOVE AND ROMANCE LITERATURE AS SOME LESSER FORM OF ART MADE FOR HOUSEWIVES AND SAPS.
KARKAT: BUT THAT’S COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
KARKAT: IT’S A HUGELY IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE, DRIVING OUR DECISIONS AND MOTIVATIONS AND POWERING OUR STORIES. AND IT’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.
KARKAT: AND YET, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PIECE OF FINE ART DECIDES TO FOCUS ON THIS ALL-ENCOMPASING WORLD SHATTERING EMOTION?
KARKAT: SUDDENLY IT’S “TRASHY”? HOW?
DAVE: idk youre not wrong but
DAVE: when its like this its just
DAVE: too personal ig
DAVE: like tmi but for overly wholesome shit
KARKAT: YOU’RE SOMEHOW RIGHT ON THE MONEY, YET SO WRONG AT THE SAME TIME.
KARKAT: IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE PERSONAL DUMBASS, THAT’S HOW ART WORKS??
KARKAT: AT LEAST, WHEN IT’S ACTUALLY GOOD AND NOT JUST IRONY POISONED TO OBLIVION.
DAVE: lmao bro you gotta admit my raps would go way harder as subway poems than this stuff
DAVE: why are you so into this stuff anyways
DAVE: youre so fucking grumpy i was not expecting you to go off on love poems
DAVE: but i am here for it
KARKAT: I’M A ROMANCE LITERATURE ENTHUSIAST.
KARKAT: NOT QUITE AN EXPERT ON POEMS YET, BUT I’VE BEEN GETTING MORE INTO THEM LATELY.
KARKAT: I’M GONNA WRITE MY OWN NOVEL ONE DAY.
DAVE: wait fr?
DAVE: here i was imagining you up at night cursing the souls of your enemies and enacting elaborate revenge schemes
DAVE: but actually youre just like
DAVE: tearing through bodice rippers
Dave doesn’t know what more to say. The revelation that Karkat is a romance novel fanatic is somehow both completely out of left field and makes perfect sense.
KARKAT: YEAH, AND?
KARKAT: LIKE I WAS SAYING, WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE EXPLORATION OF LOVE? YOU’RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE AN ENTIRE SECTION OF THE MOST FUCKING BREATHTAKINGLY GORGEOUS LITERATURE JUST BECAUSE IT FOCUSES ON ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT HUMAN EMOTIONS?
DAVE: ok ok chill out dude
DAVE: i get it you like lame sappy shit
As cute as Karkat’s grumpy face staring up at him is, he doesn’t want to take the teasing too far this time.
DAVE: its pretty sick you want to write something though
DAVE: youre a writing major then?
KARKAT: NOPE.
KARKAT: COMPUTER SCIENCE.
DAVE: no fuckin way
DAVE: didnt know you were my brother in science
DAVE: man i was so scared you were some pretentious ass philosophy bro but it turns out youre just a pretentious ass tech bro
DAVE: actually
DAVE: now that i say that im not sure which is worse
DAVE: at least youre not in finance?
KARKAT: OH, FUCK OFF.
KARKAT: I’M NOT A FUCKING TECH BRO. HONESTLY I’M NOT EVEN SURE WHY I’M DOING IT.
KARKAT: IT’S SO FUCKING BORING.
KARKAT: BUT IT’S A “GOOD STABLE CAREER CHOICE,” SO HERE WE ARE.
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: if thats the only reason then like
DAVE: theres a lot of stable choices
DAVE: why this one?
KARKAT: WELL, I’M NOT GOING TO DO A WRITING MAJOR. I THINK THE STRESS OF TRYING TO MAKE IT BIG AS AN ARTIST WOULD PROBABLY MAKE ME START TO HATE IT.
KARKAT: I’D RATHER KEEP IT AS A FUN HOBBY.
DAVE: thats cool
DAVE: its what im doing with my music
DAVE: but why computers
KARKAT: IT’S JUST.
KARKAT: I WAS ALWAYS GOOD AT MATH AND SCIENCE AS A KID, AND I GOT INTO A DECENT SCHOOL, SO IT FEELS LIKE A WASTE TO NOT STUDY SOMETHING THAT MAKES GOOD MONEY AND USES THOSE SKILLS.
KARKAT: BUT I DIDN’T REALLY FEEL SUPER DRAWN TOWARDS ANY OF THE SUBJECTS.
KARKAT: I HADN’T TRIED COMPUTER SCIENCE OUT AND FIGURED I’D LIKE IT BETTER.
KARKAT: IT JUST SEEMED MORE, CREATIVE? I GUESS???
DAVE: but youre like
DAVE: not actually all that into the real thing
DAVE: why dont you try some new shit out?
DAVE: arent they always telling us nows the time to explore
DAVE: the world is your oyster and all that sappy cliche garbage you apparently go bananas for
KARKAT: WELL, I’VE BEEN RAVING ABOUT HOW I’M GOING TO BECOME A MASTER PROGRAMMER FOR SO LONG NOW.
KARKAT: AND EVERYONE RESPECTS IT. I FEEL FUCKING AWESOME WHEN I TELL PEOPLE THAT I’M STUDYING THIS. MY PARENTS ARE THRILLED.
KARKAT: I GUESS IT FEELS WEIRD TO CHANGE SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE ASSOCIATES WITH YOU
KARKAT: AND THAT EVEN YOU ASSOCIATE WITH YOURSELF.
KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO THROW IT AWAY YET.
Karkat takes a deep breath like he’s trying to calm himself. Dave’s surprised when he notices his hand start to reach out towards Karkat’s shoulder. He quickly reels it back; luckily Karkat is staring down at his feet and doesn’t see. This is weird. Usually, someone he barely knows getting all deep with him would be super fucking uncomfortable. He figures all the fighting must have somehow fast-tracked him to a baseline level of comfort with Karkat’s emotions. Either that or his dick has completely taken over his brain processes.
KARKAT: IT’S LIKE, THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WOULD BE STUDYING CS. SO MAYBE IF I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT, I’M NOT CAPABLE OF BECOMING THAT PERSON.
KARKAT: WHICH, REALLY, FUCKING SUCKS.
KARKAT: BUT I JUST DON’T GET THE POINT OF IT. IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING FOR ME, STARING AT THE SCREEN ALL DAY AND READING ABOUT ALGORITHMS. CLEARLY IT DOES FOR SOME PEOPLE, BUT I’M JUST NOT ONE OF THEM. AND I FUCKING WISH I WAS.
KARKAT: SORRY, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN NIGHT AND NOW I’VE FUCKING RUINED IT WITH ALL THIS WOE IS ME BLATHERING ON.
DAVE: nah bro
DAVE: its chill
DAVE: i dont mind
DAVE: uh
Karkat’s looking up at him with big, sad, slightly cautious eyes. Now is not the time to fuck this up.
DAVE: i guess
DAVE: its pretty fuckin presumptuous for me to be giving advice cause i dont know you so well but like
DAVE: idk i think if you really wanted to study cs then you could be great at it
DAVE: youre like a smart dude super dedicated etc etc
DAVE: but
DAVE: if youre only keeping up with it to impress other people or whatever
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: i just dont really think thats a good enough reason
DAVE: theres so many options out there that im sure you can find something that makes you feel fulfilled
DAVE: while still having the time to do your writing
DAVE: maybe you just gotta think about what you want instead of what other people want out of you
DAVE: cause honestly who gives a fuck
DAVE: all that really matters is that youre having fun
DAVE: or at least
DAVE: thats how i look at it
KARKAT: I GUESS?
KARKAT: I DON’T THINK I EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT I’D WANT, IF NOT THIS.
KARKAT: I’VE BEEN CONVINCING MYSELF FOR SO LONG THAT THIS WAS THE GOAL, SO I DIDN’T EVEN CONSIDER THAT I MIGHT NOT LIKE IT.
KARKAT: OTHERWISE, I’D PROBABLY BE SOME LOSER COOPED UP WATCHING ROM COMS EVERY DAY.
DAVE: well nothin wrong with that
DAVE: but im sure you can find it in your black crusty heart to enjoy something other than rom coms
DAVE: actually
DAVE: youre kind of a hater so…
KARKAT: I DON’T HATE EVERYTHING, AND FUCK YOU FOR ASSUMING THAT.
KARKAT: I AM A FUCKING DELIGHT TO BE AROUND, AS LONG AS YOU AREN’T SOME SELF AGGRANDIZING DOUCHEBAG.
DAVE: so what kind of stuff do you like
KARKAT: I LIKE COMPLAINING TO PEOPLE.
KARKAT: BEATING SENSE INTO MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY MAKE STUPID DECISIONS.
KARKAT: WRITING REVIEWS OF MEDIA.
KARKAT: AND ROM COMS.
KARKAT: ALL PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE AND AGREEABLE PASTIMES, AS I’M SURE YOU’LL AGREE.
DAVE: lmao youre like if the soul of a karen was stuffed into the body of an adorable tiny dude.
Oh fuck, he didn’t just say adorable out loud, did he?
KARKAT: FUCK NO, I WOULDN’T BE ADORABLE THEN.
KARKAT: IF ANYTHING I’D BE
KARKAT: ADORABLOODTHIRSTY
They share a quick laugh, Dave relieved that Karkat didn’t make a huge deal out of the comment. And now he’s back to that playfully mean demeanor instead of flipping out about his life purpose and all that lame shit. Score one point for Dave.
***
The train arrives at their stop, and Dave’s elated when he realizes that the vibe is basically the complete reverse of how it was when they entered the station. Karkat’s loudly complaining about the piss streaks littering the snow lining the sidewalk, while it takes nearly all Dave’s willpower to school his laughs down into just a sharp exhale, and his smile into a slight smirk.
Karkat’s hungry, so they grab a quick bite at a halal cart and they chow down while they walk. Karkat asks about the music they’re going to see, why Dave likes it, and Dave rambles on for an embarrassingly long time. But when he looks up, Karkat’s still listening with rapt attention. It’s a bit strange; usually this is where people start zoning out.
When they finish eating, Karkat asks if they should pregame beforehand.
DAVE: ok so
DAVE: we definitely dont gotta do this if you dont want but
DAVE: i did bring edibles just in case
DAVE: or we can just go to a normal bar
DAVE: whatever youre down for bro
KARKAT: WAIT, REALLY?
KARKAT: I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
Karkat looks away while they walk in silence for a couple seconds. He looks a little conflicted.
KARKAT: I KIND OF WANT TO?
DAVE: you sure dude?
DAVE: i dont want to like
DAVE: peer pressure you into being a delinquent
DAVE: take your 420 virginity
KARKAT: OH COME ON, STOP MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT LIKE YOU’RE SOME COOL EDGY STONER. IT’S JUST WEED.
KARKAT: LET’S GET ON WITH IT.
DAVE: damn ok
Dave hands him a gummy. Karkat grabs it, inspects it, and then takes a tiny, tentative bite out of it. He stares intensely, straight ahead, as he chews it, as if waiting for some grand change to occur.
KARKAT: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO START WORKING?
DAVE: lmao youve probably got like an hour before it hits
DAVE: and you gotta take the whole thing
DAVE: gives us plenty of time to walk over get inside and get our bearings
KARKAT: HUH.
Dave grabs his own gummy and taps it lightly against Karkat’s.
DAVE: cheers bro
KARKAT: CHEERS