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man, maybe writing alternian titles actually is easier by criticalexponent
Fandoms: Homestuck
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
In which two dorks meet in university class; one of them a stoic cool kid; (but really he is just an emotionally repressed loser); the other an overdramatic hopeless romantic with a penchant for foul language; / the two engage in a classic enemies to friends to lovers plot featuring the usual tropes; enough instances of miscommunication and obliviousness that it's a miracle either of our dense as fuck protagonists are smart enough to pass any of their classes; / including enough didactic drivel on platonic love that you might start to wonder why the subtitle to this thing isn't "friendship is magic"; and guest appearances by the author's other favorite homestuck characters (at least, the ones he thinks he can do justice).
ie. just a typical davekat college au
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Simpsons Homestuck by AppleFron for ieatwateryaey
Fandoms: The Simpsons, Homestuck, Zenless Zone Zero (Video Game), Pilgrammed (Roblox)
14 Feb 2026
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satire joke fic for my friend
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Dave gets his period. Karkat takes care of him.
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Впервые с момента появления в комнате Гамзи улыбнулся, и Каркат испытал странное облегчение. Быть может, со стороны спонтанное лапанье рожек выглядело бы неуместно, развратно или дерзко, но с Гамзи оно ощущалось так легко и естественно. В самом деле, что такого? Просто два мойрейла делают друг другу приятно, чтобы скрасить трудные времена. Никто не узнает. Эта маленькая тайна останется между ними.
Series
- Part 2 of WTF Homestuck 2026 тексты M-E
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From outside the glare of the limelight, two men share a secret.
You are Karkat Vantas, a guard of the Dersian kingdom. It is your duty to protect your kingdom from a distance, be as noticeable as a piece of furniture to the nobles who wander the kingdom's halls. Too bad you have been letting yourself get in the way of your duties.
You are Dave Strider, crown prince to the kingdom of Derse. Your title permits you with an abundance of spare time, of which you are eager to let a certain someone borrow. Maybe a little too much.
When no one's looking, you meet him in the parlor. And the rest is your private history.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,073
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 31
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Jake English is a well-established aristocrat who will do anything to protect his family.
Dirk Strider is a skilled Demon Hunter, traveling for work with his little brother.
One day, Jake invites Dirk over to “discuss” his work.
Jake English will do anything to protect his family.
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Каркат просыпается после пьянки на диване с Дейвом и весь фик разбирается сначала с произошедшим, затем со своими чувствами.
Series
- Part 1 of WTF Homestuck 2026 тексты M-E
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Equius and Nepeta survive their encounter with a crazied Gamzee and join the other survivers and some humans on the trip to the next session.
But will their relationship survive? -
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Karkat Vantas has been getting messages from his friends about a clown sighting near his hive. Trolls gossip to other trolls which gossip to Karkat's neighbors and word eventually finds its way back to him. Too bad he already knows the suspect well. What he does not expect from the confrontation is to find Gamzee has been stalking him. For a while. Well past that he's been in his hive- he's still in his hive.
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There aren't all that many safe routes off Alternia for a mutant, but signing on to the Imperial Gladiatorial League has worked out pretty fucking well for Karkat Vantas. Turns out trolls all across the universe will pay out the nose for a chance to see The Hotblood bleed red.
Earth is just the next stop in Karkat's never-ending arena circuit, and the Strider Brothers are just another pair of opponents. And getting up close and personal with alien anatomy is just another perk of touring.
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Drabbles intended to fill prompts from Faygos’s Homestuck Valentine’s Day Countdown Shipping Meme on tumblr.
1. First Ship You Remember Shipping: Dave/Screentime (The Sky Watches)
2. Favorite Lovable Rarepair: Joey/Barzum (They Meet Again)
3. NOTP: Gamzee/Vriska (She Commands Him)
4. Favorite Blackrom Ship: Gamzee/Equius (He Is Rebuilt)
5. HS OCs: Heceta/Jestif (She Mourns Them)
6. BROTP: Gamzee and Tavros (Another Jail Visit)
7. Favorite Yaoi: Gamzee/Karkat (See His Nightmares)
8. Favorite Yuri: Joey/Barzum (Excuse Not To)
9. Favorite M/F Ship: Latula/Mituna (He’s So Sorry)
10. Don’t Ship But Get the Appeal: Dave/Karkat (Feels Safe Here)
11. Underrated Ship: Dammek/Xefros (Could’ve Been Different)
12. Honorable Mention: Marvus and MSPA Reader (You Still Worry)
13. Favorite Crackship: The Mayor of Can Town and Batman (Dark Knight Guardian)
14. OTP: Gamzee/Karkat (Time Passes On)
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Dave and Karkat get really into historically accurate amour as they chose to dress up as knights for an upcoming Renaissance fair.
Down to the undergarments, for Dave at least. Karkat has a little surprise for his fellow knight.
Red backless panties.
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Karkat once received a threat from Vriska which he never took seriously. Years later, he starts dating Dave and realizes the threat might have been real.
He just wants to fuck his boyfriend in peace.
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Homestuck Act 5 Act 2 if Vriska forcefemmed John on top of her usual manipulation of him
this is a doomed timeline
the first couple chapters are basically just straight up from homestuck just abridged a little to set the scene -
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gamzee gets stuck in rosemary's ceiling
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Dave bedrots too long and fucking dies. (/nsrs)
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Good Plans, Great Results: A Turna8out Postscript by RookeryWhispers (Koshav)
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 Feb 2026
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After a very busy day of hunting down the prankster behind one disrupted night's sleep, Vriska Serket is hot on the trail of the next.
She doesn't have to go very far. The culprit is just down the hall.
Series
- Part 2 of Turna8out Timeline
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OR, in which a hemomutant dodges the draft with two lowblooded psions, a kidnapped helm technician, and the Heiress to the Alternian Empire in a space yacht and ends up dragged on a quest to understand the true meaning of trollishness; contains an unnecessarily protracted flushed pining sequence, the formation of a pale relationship, one scene of clown-based violence, three non-clown-based battles, references to seven heretical religions, the invention of two entirely new technologies, a heist, several attempts to sell trolls into slavery, and two doctrinally significant rants.
Series
- Part 2 of X-culture
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,785
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 11
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In which disaster strikes upon Eridan's entire world when it is revealed to him that he will be forced to attend a bible camp with his douche of an older brother--Cronus. Eridan suspects that the person who is at fault for setting this into motion is his own sibling due to some false claims. He will do anything to prove his accusations wrong--even if his attempts all fail terribly.
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Two weeks before the premiere of the biggest film of Dave's career, Bro kills himself.
“Dead,” Dirk repeats over the phone. “Bro is D-E-A-D, dead. The apartment is a shithole. Even though the man of the hour is staying in Chez Morgue Drawer, he did a number on the place first. I wouldn’t be asking if I could handle it myself.”
“Just call the Hoarders people. He’s your guy. I didn’t even know him.” Despite being iteration ten thousand, the lie feels less natural than it usually does. “I don’t need to be there. Neither of us do.”
“Totally.” Dirk sounds like sidewalk. “Yeah, no, that was my first thought, but then I slept on it and applied a modicum of critical thinking. In that 'Puppet Fetish Porn Studio Unearthed in Childhood Home of Indie Darling' is gonna boost neither of our ratings.”
Despite the tags, this is a comedy. Or is it!
Updates semi-weekly on Mondays and Thursdays.