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It really is getting easier for Private to leave the zoo each time the team does so. Since he still doesn’t want to make his brothers ashamed by admitting his fears, he figures maybe he just needs more time. Skipper, for his part, still feels the guilt. He stays up many nights thinking what he could have done differently.
And it’s on one of those sleepless nights for Skipper that Private has the nightmare again: Swirling waters, everything a blur to the eye as it flashed by, that feeling of utter terror. He awakes with a gasp, that tears Skipper from his thoughts. The leader leaps down from his bunk to see which of his men is in distress, and why.
“Private?”
“Oh, um, Skipper.”
“What’s wrong?” Skipper asks in a whisper. Even then, Kowalski stirs in one of the upper bunks, so Skipper beckons for Private to follow him to the table. Private hesitates, because he doesn’t want to talk about what just happened, but he follows. “So?” Skipper prompts, setting to making a cup of coffee.
“I just had a nightmare. That’s all. What, um, what were you doing up?” Private hopes he won’t have to talk about his nightmare anymore if he changes the subject.
Skipper sits down with his mug, dropping in a small fish. “Oh, well, you know, with Ringtail blasting that music... Makes it kinda hard to sleep.”
Private tilts his head and listens. “I don’t hear anything.”
Skipper smiles nervously. “He must have just gone to bed.”
And then Private asks a bold question, one he never would have asked before everything that happened and all that was said. “What’s really wrong, Skipper?”
Skipper looks surprised, but comes back calmly with, “What was your nightmare about?”
Private sighs, but he knows he has to tell now, because otherwise he’ll never be able to help Skipper with whatever his problem is. “It was just a little nightmare… About Shanghai.”
Skipper closes his eyes tighly. “I knew it. I knew you were still… Well, of course you are, I mean, I let that happen to you!” Skipper takes a deep breath and opens his eyes to look at Private. “I’m… I’m sorry, Private,” he says, realizing he’s not sure he ever properly apologize.
Private looks confused. “But it wasn’t your fault, Skipper. You didn’t know that would happen!”
“Then I should have!” Skipper hisses. “You trusted me and I let you down!”
Private looks at his leader earnestly, leaning towards him. “Skipper, Dave captured me. Not you.”
“You’re really not mad at me?”
“Not at all, Skipper! Are… Are you mad at me for still being scared?”
“That’s a no, soldier.”
“And as long as I keep getting back out there, I get less and less frightened!” Private adds, eyes bright with pride.
“So you think with time, we’ll- You’ll feel better?”
Private nods, then opens his beak and takes a long pause before saying, “I think… Maybe we could both talk about it all with each other sometime. Kowalski and Rico, too, just talk about how we’re feeling.”
Skipper smirks. “Gee, that sounds fun. And Kowalski and Rico might not ever be ready to talk about their emotions. But we can talk, Private, if you really think it will help.”
“That’ll be great.” Private smiles. “Thank you, Skipper. You’re a good brother.”
Private didn’t notice Skipper’s own smile sadden as he promised himself that, at the very least, he’d be a good brother from now on.