Chapter Text
Lance couldn't say he was surprised when they're met on Earth with a crowd of hazmat suits instead of a parade.
Similar to the scene when Shiro crash-landed, the Galaxy Garrison wasn't exactly thrilled when their presumed-dead Kerberos pilot, the kid they kicked out for disciplinary issues, and the cadet squad best known for getting vomit in the simulator all showed up together after three years MIA in five mechanic lions, with an alien princess, a colony deserter and an old man with a funky mustache.
At least this time nobody was strapped to a stretcher, and Keith only threatened to punch the medics when they spooked Kosmo enough for the wolf to teleport out of sight. Some people (like Veronica) would call this an "interstellar fiasco," but Lance thinks it's growth.
While Sam Holt had done what he could to prepare Earth for the inevitable Galra invasion, it appears that they had landed home right before Sendak could send any troops. It's a relief, but in large part due to a surprise upgrade from Voltron that allowed Lance and Keith to sync somehow to create booster wings. They were able to cut a year of space travel to less than a varga. It's the fastest they've ever traveled aside from the teleduv.
It's cool and amazing, but Lance can't shake the feeling that nearly overwhelmed him once he slammed his bayard into the console. It was the closest he's ever felt to another person mentally.
Frankly, it kind of freaked him out.
When the Garrison officers return to their group, they wordlessly lead them through a plastic archway to an annex's building. The hallway reminds Lance of the outdoor playgrounds from his childhood.
He spots Veronica and Colleen Holt through the cellophane haze, both looking on worriedly from the outside world. Lance glances over at Pidge and wonders if she's missing her mother's embrace as much as he's missing one from his sister. He catches the way Pidge wraps her arms around herself tightly and he ruffles her hair affectionately.
She doesn't fight him off.
When they're finally inside the building, they're each given room numbers and keycards. The officer explains to each of them that they'll be in a two-week-long quarantine to ensure they haven't brought any intergalactic germs with them during space travel. Outside, their lions are each being sprayed and cleaned by a pit-crew.
When the officer drops his key in Lance's hand, he spots a big red number seven on the side. He turns to Hunk hopefully but is disappointed when he's shown a green three on his card.
"Sorry, man," Hunk explains, thumbing behind him. "I'm rooming with Shiro and Coran."
"And it seems Pidge, Romelle, and I will be sharing a suite as well," Allura adds, flashing her card. She cranes her neck to call Keith, who's staring at his key like it personally offended him. "Keith? What is the number on your card?"
"Seven," he replies, lifting his card for everyone to see. Lance's heart sinks to the floor.
*
If they had to social distance themselves for two weeks, the room they're assigned to isn't half bad. It's more like a hotel suite than a dorm room, with a stocked mini-kitchen, TV, sofa, board games, and even an old Mercury Gameflux with a copy of Killbot Phantasm VII. There are two full beds across from each other and a spacious bathroom that includes a shower and tub.
All things considered, it definitely could be worse even though Lance didn't exactly luck out in the roommate department.
"Which bed do you want?" Keith asks, but he's so curt that it sounds more like a demand than anything. Lance shrugs.
"I don't have a preference. They look identical."
Keith makes a noise in response - because apparently, words are too much for him. He throws his bag of Garrison issued sweats on the bed to the right. Lance follows with the bed on the left. It's a little awkward as they both try to change out of their armor while avoiding the other. When they're both left in only their grey bodysuits, Lance breaks for the bathroom before Keith shows any skin.
"I'm taking a shower!" Lance shouts, nearly leaping over Keith's bed to slide across the tiles and slamming the door shut.
He doesn't hear Keith say anything through the door, but he does hear a thud of clothes hitting the floor and the rustling of Keith shoving his suit into the strange plastic bag they're supposed to send for cleaning. Turning to the shower faucet, he's hit with a wave of homesickness when he recognizes the lettering on the valves. Fighting back the tears, he twists it and is rewarded with hot water raining from the showerhead.
Nearly ripping off his under armor, he climbs under the stream. The hot water instantly begins to work out on the sore knots and kinks in his neck and back. Covering his mouth to keep from sobbing, he leans back against the tile wall and slowly slides down the side of the shower. He cries harder than he can remember, the water pummeling against his face and washing away the snot he's sure is dripping from his nose.
Lance knows he's an ugly crier.
There's a quick knock at the door, and Lance gasps when he hears Keith crack the door open enough to let the steam escape.
"Hey, are you okay in here?"
Lance swallows hard, not exactly sure how to answer.
Since Keith has returned to the team, it's felt that the friendship they had been building had eroded instantly. Keith was different, he was older. He was their leader. It was as if just when Lance thought they were on an even footing, Keith somehow leaped-frogged over him again, leaving him in the dust. Now things are awkward because Lance doesn't know how to deal with this new, improved Keith.
And it sucks.
Because in the weeks that followed him first piloting Red, Lance slowly began considering Keith to be one of his closest friends. During their stint as co-leads of Voltron, they had spent hours chatting between their rooms about the team, strategy to take down Zarkon's forces or just to shoot the breeze. Somehow, Keith had wormed himself from being Lance's oldest rival to his newest best friend.
Then Keith left.
"I'm fine," he lies, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Just hit my foot when I got in."
Keith hesitates, and Lance knows he doesn't buy it, but hopes he doesn't push it. Luckily, Keith just sighs. "Be careful."
"Okay, team leader."
He can see through the steam of water Keith's hesitation, but he eventually closes the door.
*
Lance honestly doesn't know how else to interact with Keith other than some friendly ribbing.
He'll sit across the sofa and yell, "Social distancing!" at the other boy, but Keith will just glare from over his book and curl to the other end of the couch like a distressed cat.
Sometimes Lance will just talk out loud to himself in hopes that Keith will respond to anything he's saying.
"Wow, they loaded the fridge with vegan eggs," Lance says one morning to no-one in particular, but absolutely at Keith in particular. "What a crazy act of scientific advancement had to occur for there to be vegan eggs, huh?"
Keith doesn't reply and instead eats his cereal and fills out a sudoku book. It's so zen it makes Lance want to riot.
Keith is surprisingly quiet, and Lance hates quiet.
All their communicators and space phones were confiscated the moment they landed. Therefore Lance's only option for social connection to either learn telepathy or break in his uncommunicative roommate.
Four days in, Lance breaks. He makes them dinner (they've been unknowingly rotating daily) and almost throws his plate of rigatoni bolognese at Keith.
"Are you mad at me?" he demands, waving a fork in Keith's face like a threat.
And Keith has the nerve to blink as if he's confused as to why Lance is so pissed. "Uh...no?"
"Then why don't you ever talk to me, you weirdo?" Lance throws his arms in the air. "I've been babbling to myself for days!"
"I thought you liked doing that," Keith argues, and it hits Lance that Keith's nose still scrunches up when he's annoyed. It's like a throwback, and it heals an old wound in his chest like a balm.
"Why would I like doing that?"
"You seemed to have a good conversation with yourself," Keith fights, and it feels so familar that the interaction is enough to fuel him for the rest of the day. "I didn't want to interrupt."
"You should've interrupted me! I was rambling like a mad man!"
"I didn't have anything to say!"
And Lance huffs, because how can Keith have nothing to say. They're stuck in quarantine after being in space for three years. Not to mention his time away from the team to play space ninja pirate - there's plenty to say!
Keith must've caught on to how annoyed Lance is because he clears his throat. He stabs at more pasta with his fork, twirling it in the sauce. "Do you want me to say something?"
"Yes!" Lance whines, throwing his head back on the chair across the table. "I feel like I've been walking on eggshells because you've looked so pissy since we go here."
Keith stops mid-bite, fork still in the air, and says between a mouthful of pasta. "Sorry, that's just my face."
And something about this confession takes Lance by surprise. It's just so ridiculous - they're stuck in this room together, and Keith, with his mouth full of food, manages to apologize for his resting bitch face.
Lance can't help it. He starts to giggle, and soon Keith follows.
They're laughing hysterically now, and it's the kind of laugh that they both know isn't funny, but because neither of them can stop, it's somehow funnier.
They've eventually forced the other to stop, and aside from a few snorts, they both relax until Keith blurts, "I missed you."
Lance feels something tighten in his chest, and instead of answering right away, he clears his throat and goes back to his pasta. "Yeah, well, I'm here with you now."
A less tense silence falls between them, and Lance watches Keith twirls his fork in his food.
"You're no Hunk in the kitchen, but this is better than food goo," he says, and Lance knows they're getting somewhere.
*
They talk more after that and start to live together as opposed to sharing the space. They're stuck there for two weeks and accidentally create a routine together. They wake the other up, one of them makes breakfast, the other puts away dishes.
They hang out and Lance learns that Keith is surprisingly terrible at video games. He instantly dies at Killbot Phantasm after the first dungeon. Keith gets stupid competitive, and it cracks Lance up. They still beat the game together.
Keith tells Lance about the space whale while they're cutting veggies together for dinner. Lance is instantly interested in the future-visions Keith saw in the Quantum Abyss.
"Did you see anything cool?" he asks, halfway through chopping a carrot. "Like do any of us get a medal after saving the universe? Oh! Does Shiro ever dye his hair?" He gasps, hands flying to his face. "Do I grow a mustache?"
Keith turns away and dumps a handful of veggies into the pot. "Can't remember."
"Wow, that's dumb," Lance huffs, turning back to finish chopping. "If I had a future vision, I'd remember everything."
They play board games, cards, and one night they're tossing a ball across each other's bed — the first to drop it loses. Conversations flow smoothly between them now, and Lance is thankful for the lack of awkwardness in their interactions. Lance asks Keith questions, and he's always earnest in his responses. Lance ends up learning a lot of things he didn't know about his teammate.
"So, you just adopted a space wolf you found in the wild?" Lance asks, tossing the ball.
Keith catches and shrugs. "It's not that weird all things considered, Lance."
"He teleports," Lance insists when Keith tosses the ball back. He catches it quickly.
"We've been piloting mechanical lions with our minds," Keith notes when the ball lands back in his palms.
"Okay, that's fair."
"I meant to ask," Keith motions to toss the handball back to Lance. "When we were coming home, and the bayard booster flashed, did you feel something in Red?"
The handball arcs across the gulf between their beds, landing perfectly in Lance's hands. "I felt the usual pull when we got a power-up, yeah. Why? What did you feel?"
Lance tosses the ball back, and Keith catches it. He holds tightly between his palms for a moment.
"This pull was different. It was like I was lost in a tunnel, but there was light. The light felt safe, secure, stable," Keith looks up from staring at the ball. "Then the light was...you."
Lance's breath catches in his throat. "I thought it was just me."
"No, me too," Keith smiles, and it's shy. Lance sees the slight crookedness of his teeth. The snaggle of his canines. Why didn't Keith smile more? It's a good one.
"I didn't think it was gonna be wings," Lance confesses, chuckling. "Maybe, like, rocket boosters. But the wings were a surprise."
Keith doesn't say anything else. He just tosses the ball back to Lance, and now he finds himself smiling too.
Somehow, Lance catches the ball one-handed. "I'm happy you're on the other end of that tunnel. I missed you too."
When he throws the ball back, Keith looks so stunned he doesn't even move to catch it. Instead, it smashes him between the eyes with a hard smacking of rubber meeting skin. Lance panics and leaps across from his mattress to Keith's to check to see if he's alright.
Keith groans, rubbing his face, and Lance pulls his hands away to make sure he didn't break Keith's nose with the handball.
"You were supposed to catch it!" Lance whines, more annoyed than upset now that it's clear the most damage Keith will get is a bump on the head. He doesn't let go of Keith's hands.
"You caught me off guard!"
"Don't you have Galra reflexes or something?"
"Did you really miss me?"
Lance feels himself get anxious again - which is weird cause it's just Keith. The guy's so dense not even a handball could break his thick skull. But still, it's complicated.
"Well, yeah. You were my left-hand man," he says, hoping the joke can ease the tension. Keith just frowns.
"But, you got to be the Red Paladin."
"Shiro didn't see me like that," Lance stops to think. "Well, Clone Shiro, I guess. Anyway, you know he leans on Allura way more than any of us. After you left, I was in the same spot I was when I piloted Blue. I just had your lion."
"Red is your lion," Keith urges. "He chose you."
"I get that but," Lance laughs nervously, feeling self-conscious at how worked up Keith was getting. "You gotta admit, you did kind of up and leave us. Red probably felt that you went out for cigarettes and didn't come back."
Keith pulls his hands away. "It wasn't like that."
It's getting awkward again, and Lance doesn't know what to do. They've spent days together peacefully and just when Lance feels like they were on the same level again, he steps on a landmine and blows it all up.
"Well, it felt like that," Lance admits, more sad than bitter now. "To me, at least."
They sit on Keith's bed on opposite ends, neither knowing what else to say. Lance picks at the fuzz sticking to Keith's comforter, watching as Keith looks elsewhere.
Finally, he asks the question that's been nagging him since Keith left the team.
"Was it me?"
Keith gazes at him, and Lance continues. "Did I make you leave?"
"You didn't make me do anything," Keith replies, and Lance can hear the sincerity in his tone as vulnerability reverberates. Even after all Keith's been through, he still has that shaky voice when he's scared. It makes Lance feel guilty. "It was my choice."
"Why did you have to make a choice?"
"I couldn't lead the team after Shiro came back. There were too many of us."
"Shiro was ready to stand aside," Lance fights. "I was ready to stand aside! I told you I'd give you and Allura my lions!"
"Do you think I wanted that?"
"Do you think I wanted you to leave?"
Keith scowls. "I wasn't going to make you choose."
"You didn't stay long enough to give me a chance!" Lance grits his teeth, clenching the blankets. "Would you have stayed if I asked?"
Keith looks away again. His dark eyes fixed downward on his hands. As if the answers Lance is so desperate for can be found on the lines of his palms. "Allura asked me to stay."
"Allura?" Lance echoes, eyes narrowing challengingly. His heart began to jackhammer against his chest, threatening to break through and flop between them on the bed. The notion that the girl he's been crushing on had sought Keith out and begged him to stay on their team held an emotional gut-punch. He feels the familiar warmth of jealousy coat his bones like molten lava. "What did she say?"
"That there were places I was needed more than the Blade of Marmora," he replies, looking up to meet his gaze almost reluctantly, a serious look about him. "That there were people who needed me more."
"People like…" Lance begins, trying to get Keith to finish the sentence. At this point, he can't keep up with precisely where these feelings of jealousy are springing for — he knows Keith's gay. Allura isn't an option for him, and yet the atmosphere is hot enough to melt him whole.
"The team," Keith finishes plainly.
"Oh."
A heavy silence washes over them until Keith's head jerks up.
"I didn't realize it wasn't really Shiro," he admits, and Lance sees the look of realization when it hits him. "Maybe if I had stayed longer... I would have..." Keith stammers, looking back down at his hands. "I could've..."
"Oh, no...Keith," Lance says, placing a hand on his shoulder when he squeezes his eyes shut. "You couldn't have known."
"I would've eventually."
"Did you want to know?"
Keith exhales. "...no. I wanted him back too much. I lost my brother once, the idea of losing him again — of him not being real — it would've broken me."
The guilt and regret radiate from Keith like a fume. Scooting over, Lance breaks the rules of social distancing and hugs him. It's a weird position — you're not supposed to hug someone from the side, and Keith's shoulders are broader now — but Lance has the wing-span to make it work.
Keith freezes, going tense with recognition. He pauses, searching Lance's expression as if trying to find a cue as to what he was supposed to say next. Lance knows how much Keith struggles to find words to express himself. Eventually, he thaws and melts into Lance's side. "I didn't leave because of you, but I should've stayed for you."
Lance glances up at him, their eyes locking for a split second. Keith definitely looks apprehensive, but there was still something else there, dark and intrigue. Lance can again feel the lingering embers of jealousy burning hot in the pit of his stomach right alongside the guilt.
"I'm just one guy," he tries to laugh off humorlessly, tuffs of Keith's stupid hair wisping by his mouth. "It was selfish of me to think I was the only reason you'd want to leave the team."
Keith turns, so they're facing each other. "I wanted you to keep Red."
His eyes seem to soften with the confession, the slightest trace of guilt still lingering there. Lance blinks steadily back at him, trying to hold in whatever emotion threatens to spill out from him. He can't tell if it's sadness, anger, or what. "I know."
"I won't leave again."
"I know," Lance repeats. He can't help but look at Keith's lips. They're getting chapped. He should lend Keith his lip balm when they're no longer in quarantine.
"It felt good when you were still at the end of the tunnel waiting for me," Keith whispers, and Lance swears he sees him lick his lips. Probably why they're so chapped.
"It felt good when you came back to me," Lance breathes, and he's leaning down. He knows what he's doing, but his brain's stopped processing. Keith tilts his chin up, just enough for Lance to kiss him.
Unlike Keith, he's never kissed a boy before. He's not sure if he likes it yet, but it's certainly not terrible. Kissing Keith feels like falling, yet somehow he isn't terrified of the landing. Lance runs his thumb along the scar on Keith's cheek, surprised when it feels so soft.
Then Keith jerks away like Lance burned him. Lance quickly pulls back and considers Keith's startled face.
"This isn't supposed to go like this," Keith confesses in a breath.
Somehow this confuses Lance even more than the kiss. Did he misread the situation?
"Keith, what are you talking about?"
"This isn't what I saw —" then he stops himself, covering his mouth with his hands. As if he can physically wipe evidence of Lance's lips from his mouth. Keith looks absolutely baffled, and — Oh god .
Lance definitely fucked this up.
Soaring backward off of the mattress entirely, he nearly crashes back against the end table between their beds in his sheer frenzy to escape. Lance laughs loud and high, and it sounds so forced it makes his throat hurt. "Wow, that was weird, huh?"
Keith just stares at him dumbly, like a deer caught in the headlights. Lance turns away, the thought of looking at Keith enough to make his chest threaten to collapse in on itself. His eyes land on the alarm clock sitting on the table.
"Is it that late already?" Lance continues his hysterical laughter, leaping to his bed and cutting the light. "Time for us to sleep!"
He ducks under the covers, digging himself underneath the sheets and burrowing against his bedding. The air is stuffy and it's hard to breathe. Lance feels the prickling of tears form in the corner of his eyes and wills them away with all his might.
Across the space, he hears Keith slowly shuffling and crawling under his blankets. Lance bites the end of his comforter to keep from saying anything else and ruining this even further.
Lance thinks of Allura, and his stomach swoops with another wave of guilt.
He should've known better than to get himself caught up in the moment. Of course Keith would freak out, Lance kissed him. He doesn't even know why he did it — Lance doesn't like boys, and he definitely doesn't like Keith.
A few moments of silence later, he hears Keith whisper, "Night, Lance."
Lance doesn't reply. Closing his eyes tight, he tries to keep himself from crying.
*
The next day is their last day in quarantine.
Lance wakes up when Keith does, and they go back to their usual routine. Keith cracks the weird vegan eggs on the skillet and pours juice into Lance's glass as if nothing happened.
It's probably better this way, Lance decides. The night before felt like an emotional escape room.
Iverson and the Holts come in covered in personal protective equipment, and test their temperatures, have them spit in a tube, and finally sticks something uncomfortably far up Lance's nose. Quickly, some handheld machine Iverson is holding tells them they're fine and are free to leave.
They pack their bags quietly across the room. Lance fights hard to keep from sneaking glances at Keith through his fringe.
"Hey."
Lance looks up to see Keith holding the handball from the night before. His heart sinks, dreading the moment when Keith will ask what's up with him.
Why did he kiss him?
And Lance isn't emotionally ready to go there.
Luckily, he just gently tosses the handball back to Lance. He catches it.
Keith smirks. "Nice catch, McClain."
Lance feels the tension leave his body like a wave. His shoulder sags from his ears. "What can I say? I got good reflexes."
"Yeah, I lost last night," Keith closes his duffle bag and taps the bump on his forehead, wincing. "So, what's my punishment?"
Lance zips up his bag and grins. "Well, I suppose it should be something that's entertaining for me at your expense."
They walk out together, and Lance throws his arm across Keith's shoulders. The moment they're out of the plastic hallway, Kosmo appears at their feet. Lance can't help but give the wolf a few affectionate scratches.
"We should ask the others if they want to go out into town," he announces, and Keith groans. It's not enough to get him to leave, even though he has a teleporting space wolf at his fingertips.
"I hate where this is going," he complains.
"You're gonna be my wingman, Wing Man."
"Yup, definitely hating it."
"C'mon ladies love a gay guy," Lance beams as they wander through the Garrison. "And if we go out with the team, maybe you can help me chat up with Allura."
Keith hesitates, and Lance sees something wash over his features again. It looks dark, like a confirmation of something. It's confusing, but Keith doesn't seem upset. If anything, a calmness washes over him.
Keith sighs, throwing his head back. "Yeah, sure. Not like you'd have any luck on your own, loverboy."
"Hey! I'm a catch!"
"Sure, you are."
"Keith!"
He grins. "I'm not kidding."
"Oh," Lance blushes.
Keith breaks away, patting Lance on the back good-naturedly. "Now c'mon, let's find the others and plan this grand night out. I'm ready for some fresh air."
Lance smiles, following Keith down the hallway. They fall into a familiar rhythm together, side-by-side.