Chapter Text
You stare down at your palmhusk, tears blurring your vision, the ominous, bone-chilling whir of imperial drones growing louder with every second you waste just standing here like an idiot. How did it all go so wrong? What inconsequential bullshit thing were you being punished for? You had been so careful and yet…
You look around, maybe there might be some way out, but the streets are completely deserted. You can't even remember how you got here, what the fuck were you doing outside Captor's hive? The entire evening was becoming blurry as you try to recall why you feel so sick, why you have this pan-splitting headache. You remember absolutely dick and shit. It's like someone took a knife and carved a hunk of your memories of the day out. Everytime someone should have been there, it's like they were replaced with a person shaped blob. God how you craved nothing more than to keel over right now in the middle of the road and bawl your gander bulbs out.
SOLLUX: HEY IIDIIOT!
SOLLUX: GET YOUR A22 IIN2IIDE NOW!
You whip around and see Sollux standing right outside his hivestem, a mixture of confusion and terror plastered across his face as you both lock eyes. You open your mouth to tell him to go back inside now, to leave you the fuck alone, to beg him not to do anything absurdly moronic, but you're abruptly cut off by an ear splitting boom to your left followed by the familiar sound of crumbling buildings and screaming children. You quickly spin around to find yourself face to face with an imperial drone, the bright light of the nearby hivefire glinting off its metallic chitin, eyes cold and dim boring right through you.
You can't fucking move. You're rooted to the spot, your blood goes cold as your bloodpusher nearly stops. This is how you are going to die, like a goddamn barkbeast, alone in the middle of the street. You can hear yourself hyperventilate but you've gone completely numb. You just wish it would just fucking hurry up and put you out of your misery.
You quickly realize the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach is less because your insides are three seconds from becoming your outsides and more due to the fact that you're floating about 8 feet off the ground. Electricity crackles in the air as you feel yourself being hurled a good hundred feet down the road. Your skin burns as you crash face first into the asphalt, tumbling ass over horns. If your life were some sort of shitty comic, a humorous 'DOOF' might appear right above your ragdolling torso. You come skidding to a stop flat on your back, being hit by an ear-deafening cracking to your right and looking up just in time to see a massive hunk of rubble being flung at top speed straight towards the drone. It hits the walking nightmare square in its back, the moment sending it flying towards another building, burying it in an avalanche of metal and rubble. If you weren't two seconds from vomiting out of sheer pain and panic, you'd be impressed.
Your face is burning. It feels like you just spent the better part of the evening shredding your cheeks against a grubloaf grater and immediately submerged your head in a bath of lemon juice and salt. You move to stand but something in you chest shuts that shit down immediately, sharp pain shooting throughout your body. Your ears are still ringing but you can make out a voice in the mayhem.
SOLLUX: KK!!
Sollux sprints over to you, psionics still spilling out of his creepy, pupiless eyes in a steady stream. He holds out his hand to help you back up, but you just glare at him. What a fucking moron.
KARKAT: YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON.
SOLLUX: oh you have GOT two be kiiddiing me.
SOLLUX: ii'm 2orry for haviing the ba2iic decency two 2ave your WORTHLE22 LiiFE!
SOLLUX: what a terriible friiend ii mu2t be, not wantiing my friiend two get culled riight out2iide my hiive!
SOLLUX: maybe you're riight!
SOLLUX: ii'm quiite certaiin that a fuckiing 2quadron of drone2 wiill be here at any moment two fiinii2h the job
SOLLUX: why 2hould ii be bu2tiing my a22 for 2omeone who ii2n't even grateful enough two FUCKIING 2TAND UP WHEN ii'M TALKiiNG TWO HiiM!!
KARKAT: HEY, COULD YOU QUIT THROWING SUCH A GODDAMN WRIGGLER FIT?
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE.
KARKAT: AND SPEAKING OF THROWING, GREAT JOB SHIT DUMPSTER, YOU BROKE MY RIBS WHEN YOU FLUNG ME ASS FIRST DOWN THE STREET!
SOLLUX: are you fuckiing 2eriiou2???
KARKAT: NO, NOW JUST SEEMED LIKE THE BEST TIME TO GUILT TRIP YOU.
KARKAT: OF *COURSE* I'M SERIOUS YOU BRAIN DAMAGED GRUBFUCKER!
KARKAT: I'M BEING DENIED THE SIMPLE LUXURY OF BREATHING WITHOUT FEELING LIKE I'M BEING STABBED REPEATEDLY IN MY CHEST.
SOLLUX: could you quiite beiing 2uch an iincorriigiible nook 2tuffer for liike two 2econd2?
SOLLUX: we kiind of have more pre22iing 2hiit!
Sollux jabs a finger towards the sky where three more drones in the horizon, tiny points against the violet sky but growing closer with every moment. Oh right, you're in the middle of being oppressed right now aren't you? It's kind of insane how you got distracted by this very important fact. Then again, chewing out Captor for being a stubborn bulge fondling idiot does take a lot of energy. He helps you up and attempts to steer you back towards his hive.
KARKAT: WAIT WAIT WAIT.
KARKAT: HOLD YOUR GODDAMN HOOFBEASTS FOR A SECOND, WHAT THE *FUCK* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
SOLLUX: uh, gettiing your dumb a22 iin2iide before you get iit 2erved back two you.
SOLLUX: liike 2ome poor fucker on double butler ii2land where the butler'2 2peciial meal ii2 a piipiing hot nutriitiion of a22.
KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO WORK ON YOUR FUCKING STAND UP SET? OR IS YOUR PAN SO FUCKING ATROPHIED FROM SWEEPS OF DISUSE THAT YOU'RE LITERALLY A WALKING TALKING CHARICATURE OF ANY SORT OF ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL PERSON?
SOLLUX: ii refu2e two apologiize for art.
SOLLUX: actually waiit ii ju2t regii2tered what ii 2aiid wow ii am a fuckiing tool plea2e put me out of my mii2ery iif ii ever attempt comedy agaiin.
KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
KARKAT: BESIDES, I THOUGHT I MADE IT PERFECTLY, INDISPUTABLY CLEAR THAT I DO *NOT* WANT OR NEED YOUR GODDAMN HELP.
SOLLUX: oh my GOD.
SOLLUX: ii CANNOT beliieve you riight now.
SOLLUX: 2orry two bur2t your bubble KK but the 2hiit ha2 hiit the fuckiing thre2her.
SOLLUX: 2o you can biitch and moan and whiine a2 much you'd fuckiing liike, but ii'm not about two leave you two wander alone iin the fuckiing wood2 untiil you iineviitably get your 2hiit wrecked.
SOLLUX: 2O GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR NOOK AND QUIIT FEELIING 2O FUCKIING 2ORRY FOR YOUR2ELF FOR ONCE IIN YOUR LIIFE AND JU2T LII2TEN TWO ME!
KARKAT: NO!!!
SOLLUX: WHY THE FUCK NOT?
KARKAT: OH GEE, LET ME THINK!
KARKAT: MAYBE, AND STAY WITH ME HERE, JUST *MAYBE*, I DON'T WANT TO BE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY BEST FRIEND'S DEATH!
KARKAT: MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF MY MISERABLE, WRETCHED EXISTENCE KNOWING THAT MY MERE PRESENCE GOT SOMEONE KILLED FOR NO FUCKING REASON OTHER THAN ME BEING IN HIS GENERAL PROXIMITY!
SOLLUX: what?
KARKAT: DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME **ALL** THE FUCKING TIME?
KARKAT: CAN YOU EVEN COMPREHEND A FUCKING MINUTE IN THE LIFE OF KARKAT 'WORTHLESS TRASH BLOOD' VANTAS?
KARKAT: EVERY EVENING I HAVE TO WAKE UP AND LIVE WITH THE REALITY THAT THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET WANTS ME DEAD AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX THAT.
KARKAT: AND THE ROTTEN FRUIT TOPPING ON TOP OF THE PILE OF SHIT ENCRUSTED GRUBCAKES IS THAT I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING CRY ABOUT IT IN THE PRIVACY OF MY OWN HIVE WITHOUT A SQUADRON OF MURDERBOTS SPRINGING CULLING BONERS FASTER THAN A GROUP OF LAUGHSASSINS SPOTTING SOME DISABLED LOWBLOOD.
KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT THE ***FUCK***?!?!?!?
KARKAT: DOES THE UNIVERSE REALLY FIND THE VERY CONCEPT OF ME SO LOATHESOME THAT I AM INCAPABLE OF GETTING A FUCKING BREAK!?!?
KARKAT: I'M THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE ON THE PLANET, PURELY A HYPOTHETICAL DAYTIME STORY TO KEEP WRIGGLERS MOUTHS SHUT ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT 'HIERARCHY'.
KARKAT: WHY NO LITTLE TIMMEY, OF COURSE MUTANTS DON'T EXIST, WHAT TYPE OF SADISTIC KNUCKLEFUCKING SELF MASTURBATORY SORRY EXCUSE FOR AN EMPIRE WOULD EVER LET THAT MISTAKE HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF SENTIENCE? NOW GET BACK TO FONDLING YOUR GROTESQUE HORNS.
SOLLUX: ...
KARKAT: GOD, LOOK, IT'S…
KARKAT: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT DUDE.
KARKAT: IT'S MY PROBLEM FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY TO LIVE.
KARKAT: I'M JUST SO FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF IT.
KARKAT: I'M EXHAUSTED, AND I JUST WANT TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND FADE AWAY BY MYSELF LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING GARBAGE.
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU WANT TO HELP, BUT I JUST *CAN'T*...
KARKAT: I CAN'T LET ANYONE ELSE LIVE LIKE THIS.
Sollux's face is unreadable. The faint hum in the distance grows louder, more sinister. You feel light-headed. You've never been this terrified in your entire life.
KARKAT: SOLLUX, I HAVE TO GO-
KARKAT: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
KARKAT: !!!
Sollux grabs you roughly by the shoulders and wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck.
Oh god, is he fucking hugging you?
He's bony and rigid and awkward and smells just enough like honey and Troll Axe Body Spray to be off-putting, but something about it this entire fucked up situation resigns you to your fate and you let him hold you for just a moment longer. After what seems like an eternity, he pulls back and looks at you with intent.
SOLLUX: we wiill never 2peak of that agaiin.
KARKAT: AGREED.
SOLLUX: you do know ii'm not leaviing you out here, riight?
KARKAT: OH MY LORD, DID YOU LISTEN TO A SINGLE FUCKING WORD I SAID? OR WERE YOU TO BUSY HAVING ONE OF YOUR DAILY ANEURYSMS OVER HOW AWFUL YOU ARE IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY?
SOLLUX: could you can iit for one fuckiing iin2tant, ii'm tryiing two be niice for once.
SOLLUX: KK, ii under2tand what you're doiing, and ii'm 2ure iit 2ound2 liike a 2uperb iidea, but ii need you two under2tand that thii2 ii2 the dumbe2t fuckiing plan you've ever had by a long2hot.
SOLLUX: you aren't helpiing a 2iingle per2on by tryiing two keep up the b2 martyr act.
SOLLUX: ju2t…
SOLLUX: ugh what the FUCK why ii2 thii2 2o DIIFIICULT?
Sollux looks up at the sky, the drones ever closer, two more joining their ranks. He shakes his head and turns back to you, emotionally drained.
SOLLUX: ii...ii get iit. the hatiing your2elf. liike iim fuckiing 2iick two death of my2elf about half the tiime.
SOLLUX: feeliing liike everythiing do amount2 two nothiing becau2e you're a repugnant 2ack of 2hiit.
SOLLUX: ii mean, obviiou2ly not two the extent that you do, ii mean WOW ii2 your liife a fuckiing garbage fiire.
SOLLUX: and al2o we both are kiind of terriible people, but that'2 not the poiint riight now.
SOLLUX: ii ju2t mean ii get what iit mean2 two be doomed.
KARKAT: ...
SOLLUX: but, and god thii2 ii2 gonna 2ound 2o fuckiing lame and iif you ever briing thii2 up agaiin ii wiill 2hove my foot 2o far up your 2eedflap there wiill be a foot 2haped hole somewhere iin your gut2 untiil the end of tiime.
SOLLUX: u2 beiing doomed doe2n't make worthle22.
SOLLUX: ugh, ii thiink ii ju2t threw up iin my mouth a liittle.
SOLLUX: KK, you are wiithout a doubt the mo2t melodramatiic, petty and all-around iirriitatiing douche nozzle ii have ever had the mii2fortune of calliing an acquaiintance, let alone a friiend.
SOLLUX: and ii care about you.
SOLLUX: yep, that’2 defiiniitely vomiit, giive me a 2ec.
KARKAT: IT'S ALMOST UNFATHOMABLE HOW INEPT YOU ARE AT THIS.
SOLLUX: 2tfu.
SOLLUX: KK, a2 your friiend, ii need you two go iin2iide, ju2t for a liittle biit. ii wiill be fiine, but on the liikely chance that 2tatement become2 horriibly iironiic and today'2 the day ii biite iit and ii'm not back iin an hour, you take your 2tupiid fuckiing 2tubby 2trutfrond2 and haul a22 over two TZ'2.
KARKAT: SOLLUX, WAIT-
SOLLUX: promii2e me.
The drones are almost on top of you. You have about a minute before they notice you, if you're being generous.
Sollux is gripping your arms, his hands trembling slightly. Fuck, he really cares about you. Tears sting the corners of your eyes as you look right back at your best friend.
What the hell, it's his death wish.
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT!
KARKAT: WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.
SOLLUX: oh thank god acknowledgiing ii have emotiion2 wa2 kiilliing me.
KARKAT: I KNOW.
SOLLUX: 2crew you and before you try two re2pond two that ii would liike two remiind you we have liike thiirty 2econd2 before our collectiive 2hiit get2 wrecked.
SOLLUX: now get iin2iide 2tupiid, ii'd better 2tart dealiing wiith the2e fuckiing 2crub2…
SOLLUX: on the double.
SOLLUX: ii re2ciind my earliier whiiniing, ii'm actually the funniie2t 2on of a biitch two crawl out of the mother grub2 ooziing diilatiing a22hole.
KARKAT: WHAT YOU ARE IS A FUCKING DISGRACE.
Sollux scrunches up his face for a moment then lets go of your arms, looking back up towards the sky. It's time to go.
You sprint as quickly as you can across the street, clutching your chest and hacking up your breathing sac as quietly as possible. Everything in your upper torso feels like it's been sliced open, doused in salt and set ablaze. Your vision is still blurry at the edges, like a half forgotten memory, but you can't pass out just yet. You make your way over to the side entrance of Sollux's building and slamming the door open.
Seven minutes and five flights of stairs later-seriously you're going to fucking strangle whoever thought building a hivestem without an elevator was a good idea with their own intestines-and you collapse on the floor of Sollux's common block. You lock the door and drag yourself over to his block, curling up next to his cocoon, sickle in hand.
This is fine. This is all going to be fine. You're going to be completely fucking fine, sans the agonizing pain in your chest, which has become relentless in its quest to get you to acknowledge it. You gently feel under your sweater to assess the damage, pain shooting up into your pan.
You stare at your hand. You're met with faint streaks of bright, sickening red.
Your best friend was going to die and it's all your fault.