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December 31st 2001
New Year’s Resolutions:
1. STOP SMOKING!
2. Get a better job so no longer have to dread social functions.
3. Enter into nice respectable relationship with nice respectable man; see above.
4. Develop interesting hobby as talking point in the event of failure on points 2 and 3 – anything to avoid being introduced as Edwin Payne who had a nervous breakdown after two terms at Cambridge, holds a pissant little job at a publishing house of no significance or renown and couldn’t catch a man with both hands and a bear trap. Will be 32 years old this year, for heaven’s sake. Feel strongly that now is the moment to take charge of my life. At the stroke of midnight tonight, the year 2002 shall begin, and I shall be a new and improved Edwin Payne.A Bridget Jones’s Diary AU.
Bookmarked by Nigg
01 Jan 2026
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the lights are on, but no one's home (so welcome home) by Antichrists_plus1
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
22 Dec 2025
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Something clicks in her mind. "Edwin… what year is it?"
Edwin frowns. Has she lost her mind or is she now certain he lost his?
"1916."
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On a case tracking down a psychic vampire at an annual ball, Edwin is hypnotized into believing he is back in 1916, leading him to some unnerving conclusions about the girl he is with and what his future holds.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,867
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 250
- Bookmarks:
- 42
- Hits:
- 1,780
Bookmarked by Nigg
23 Dec 2025
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loved more than one thing by cutevamp for deadtwinksdetectiveagency (heckofabecca)
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
14 Dec 2025
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“Dont really believe in soulmates,” Charles shrugs. “I mean, I believe in us, obviously.”
Edwin angles him a small, private smile from the sofa, the line of his shoulders loose.
Bookmarked by Nigg
15 Dec 2025
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Last Christmas (I gave you my heart) by Hse11z5 for Nigg
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
14 Dec 2025
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So, Christmas really was magic. It meant things could be willed into existence, it meant that things that would never normally be possible suddenly happened, and no one blinked an eyelid. It was the only possible reason Charles could think of for what had just happened to him. One moment, he had been in the office with Edwin, decorating the Christmas tree and gazing at his best mate in the whole world- desperately trying to think what on earth he could get him for Christmas- and the next moment he was falling, spinning through darkness before landing wherever on earth he was now.
[or, two boys are so determined to make this Christmas perfect that they make time travel happen]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,978
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 64
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 356
Bookmarked by Nigg
14 Dec 2025
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Psychomanteum, noun. A dimly-lit room containing a comfortable chair and a mirror angled so that it reflects only darkness, intended to communicate with spirits of the dead.
It is our privilege to welcome you back, one and all, for the Summer 2024 season at the London Athenaeum. As some of you will no doubt be aware, this past winter saw a spate of minor thefts, with one enterprising thief successfully removing a marble bust of the goddess Carpundia. We are pleased to report that the probate court proceedings are now complete, and all of the stolen artifacts have been returned to us. For safety reasons, we must now ask that all rosaries, japa mala, ojuzu, komboskini, misbaha and other similar prayer beads are left at the door and collected upon exit on account of one of our new acquisitions, a devil vitrified in a prism of glass, and the multiple recent incidents of attempted strangulation.
We are proud to present a slate of all new exhibitions and events, including the crown jewel of this season: an exhibition on the 170 year history of the Athenaeum itself by acting head curator Edwin Payne. This is the distillation of an extraordinary life’s work, and one not to be missed.
Series
- Part 3 of Wunderkammer
Bookmarked by Nigg
03 Dec 2025
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if you want to use me (i could be your puppet) by ObsessedWithFandom
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
18 Nov 2025
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Charles’ voice is casual when he asks, “What was all that about, mate? When you froze her up and saved my neck?”
Edwin freezes up himself, eyes going enormous, looking more like the hunted than the hunter. But he doesn’t run, like in the early years, and he doesn’t pretend not to hear, like when he just started trusting Charles not to push. It’s progress. “I, ah… Well, I enthralled her, if you must know. Only a minor one, without the exchange of blood, but enough to follow the commands I gave for the rest of her life.”Or: Charles finds out about the vampiric ability his best mate’s been hiding.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,815
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 38
- Kudos:
- 131
- Bookmarks:
- 36
- Hits:
- 939
Bookmarked by Nigg
18 Nov 2025
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“Look. It was not a prank. You called the Divine Relief Office. They sent me to grant you a wish.” He sounds so certain. So firm. Almost exasperated. But Keith doesn’t believe him. Not one bit. He’s not going to be made fun of like this.
“You’re literally a student at the Garrison,” Keith says flatly. “You’re just a guy. Just a cadet. You’re literally in a college dorm with a suitcase.”
Lance’s nose scrunches, upper lip curling. He lifts his chin slightly. “I’m a student now, but I’m not just some guy. I’m a God of Happiness. More powerful than you could ever imagine. I have the power to mold and shape the world around me. I’m only here, pretending to be human, because you made a wish. And I’m granting it.” He holds his arms wide, shit-eating grin curling mockingly, and Keith feels the dread curling in his gut. “Congratulations. I’m now required to be your boyfriend forever.”
Keith accidentally calls the Divine Relief Office and is granted one wish. Lance is sent to grant the wish. But Keith thinks it’s a prank. He mockingly wishes for Lance to be his boyfriend and the wish gets granted. Surprising everyone. Now Lance is stuck on Earth, pretending to be human, and Keith is stuck with Lance.
Bookmarked by Nigg
28 Sep 2025
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- Words:
- 54,437
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 84
Bookmarked by Nigg
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
After possibly making the worst decision of his young life and maybe crashing his relationship in the process, journalist Edwin Payne is more than happy to flee the country and help his best friend Niko prepare for the happiest day of her life. As a born and bred Londoner, Edwin certainly struggles with all the excentricities the American smalltown Port Townsend has to offer – even if one of those is the charming baker Charles who not only offers him the most brilliant smile but also a place to stay for the next four weeks.
While simply trying to fulfill his duties as “Maid of Honour” and keep the wedding preperations on course, Edwin unwillingly finds himself in the middle of a highly chaotic turf war with a local business woman about – of all things – a Christmastree Farm (it's July, for god's sake!). And over and over again in heart-fluttering proximity to a certain baker...Bookmarked by Nigg
23 Aug 2025
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Cela Signifie Crochet en Français (It's Called Hook In French) by ingridmatthews
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
20 Aug 2025
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“It’s not knitting, Charles. It’s crochet, taken from the French word for hook,” Edwin explains, holding up said instrument.
Edwin is crocheting a blanket. Charles isn't sure why, until he discovers that Edwin's love language comes in all different forms.Bookmarked by Nigg
22 Aug 2025
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If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play It Again, I Missed It by UneducatedAuthor
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
28 Jul 2025
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Summary
Charles only joined the high school production of Twelfth Night because they were asking for volunteers. He'd always thought it was pretty silly, how Duke Orsino and Olivia could never tell that Cesario was a girl, despite supposedly being in love with her, but it seemed like a laugh. And it was! All the mistaken identities, love triangles, or love pentagons rather. It's all proper romantic and funny, Charles loved every moment of it. But the best part was Viola. She was his soulmate, he emphatically told Crystal. She'd always sat and spent time with him, she was the best conversationalist, smart as hell and just the best person he'd ever met. Only issue is, now the play is over, he realises he has no way to reach out, and he despairs that he's lost the love of his life.
(In which Charles looks for Viola, Viola is nowhere to be found, Shakespeare cast men to play women, Charles is looking for the girl of his dreams, Edwin is aces at acting and nobody knows why it's called Twelfth Night, but everyone is appropriately confused about it.)
Bookmarked by Nigg
29 Jul 2025
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A Need for Transparency by Lundlaeva (Black_Crystal_Dragon)
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
25 Apr 2025
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Summary
Charles starts turning himself intangible. Repeatedly. It becomes a problem.
He swings the sword in a circle, like he used to with his bat, to remind himself of how it handles. Edwin’s gaze flicks towards the movement and then lingers, though he keeps his head turned slightly away as if it’s a secret that he’s watching. Charles’s insides leap and on impulse he repeats the move.
The sword clangs on the pavement.
“Butterfingers,” he says as he crouches. Collecting the sword gives him a nice excuse not to look at Crystal, or at Edwin. It’s embarrassing — he’s done that move hundreds of times, with all kinds of different weapons, and he’s never botched it so badly he chucked something on the floor before …
Bookmarked by Nigg
20 Jul 2025
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Charles could hear the sirens, dopplering closer as the lights painted the night blue. “I have to go,” said the boy, more to himself than to Charles. “If they catch me here—well. It doesn’t matter. You won’t remember this.” He smiled, and it was like the moon appearing shyly from behind a cloud. “Goodbye, Charles.”
Charles Rowland should have died at sixteen, but he didn’t. Three years later—eager to escape call centre purgatory—he joins the Lost and Found Department as a psychopomp, charged with escorting the recently deceased to their afterlives. But why does his new colleague seem so familiar, and what’s that persistent tugging feeling at his wrist?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,401
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 81
- Kudos:
- 224
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 1,276
Bookmarked by Nigg
14 Jul 2025
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Summary
It's not every day a jailbreak is filled with this many attractive people. Not that Charles is thinking about it much.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,528
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 120
- Kudos:
- 95
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 1,077
Bookmarked by Nigg
10 Jun 2025
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Summary
Wunderkammer, noun. Translated from the German as wonder room and more commonly known in English as a cabinet of curiosities.
HELP WANTED: Maintenance Worker (late hours)
Seeking a person of steady disposition and keen intellect. Generous compensation. Room and board available upon request. Not suitable for those possessed of a delicate constitution or nervous temperament. Mechanical aptitude a must, fast runners strongly preferred. Priority will be afforded to candidates with no dependents or other living relatives. Applicants may report to Mr. Edwin Payne, acting head curator and recondite warder of the London Athenaeum.
Office hours: 11:30pm – 5:30am, Mondays only.It’s the weirdest bloody job interview Charles has ever done.
Series
- Part 1 of Wunderkammer
Bookmarked by Nigg
12 May 2025
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Summary
In a splash of red across their bodies the album cover screamed its title at him: EURYDICE.
“We look hot, don’t we?”, Charles said, gazing up at the concert hall that now sported the poster in superlative, grinning almost as wide as his paper-self. The explosion of fanart online certainly implied so.
“We look insane”, Edwin huffed.OR: Charles and Edwin embark on their very first world tour – and can’t help but reminisce …
This is part of the DBDA anniversary prompt event! Day 2: Poster | Travelling somewhere for the first time | Interviews
Bookmarked by Nigg
21 Apr 2025
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Your Scars Deserve to be Handled Kindly, Just Like You Handle Us by fallenStar_cygnus
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
07 Apr 2025
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Summary
Post Port Townsend, Crystal not-so-subtly tries to get Charles to open up about his feelings. Edwin is there for moral support when things go awry
[a lot fluffier than it sounds, pinkie promise]
Series
Bookmarked by Nigg
16 Apr 2025
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Summary
“It’s not a date,” Charles says easily, hands raised. “It’s just a bloke treating his mate to a meal as thanks for shagging his brains out.”
Edwin squints at him suspiciously.
Charles blinks his ridiculous, over-large eyes innocently. His stomach chooses the moment to growl loudly.
Charles grins sheepishly.
Edwin sighs.
Bookmarked by Nigg
08 Apr 2025
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need an adversary (to my down-to-marry) by ObsessedWithFandom for junosbraindump
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
14 Dec 2024
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Summary
The guests all stood and turned back to face the doors as they slid open. The music rose to a crescendo, and in walked Edwin, beautifully dressed and clutching a spray of flowers. He was wearing that small and secret smile that Charles knew better than his own, strutting down the aisle like it was a runway privileged enough to feature him. Charles couldn’t take his eyes off him even if he wanted to. The world and everyone in it faded away, ‘til Edwin was all he could see. If Charles could choose to live in this moment for the rest of forever, he would.
Or: A real wedding; a fake relationship. What could possibly go wrong?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,318
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 167
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 1,294
Bookmarked by Nigg
07 Apr 2025
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Meet me at the Try Line by m_erlin_s, sixbynine
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV), The Dead Boy Detectives (DC Comics)
29 Nov 2025
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Summary
Charles had played sports his whole life.
Football, Cricket, Basketball, Rugby - he threw himself into all of it with a passion like no other, and he was good, very good.
Playing on Eastfield Community's Sixth Form Rugby team meant Charles, and his teammates, regularly practiced with and competed against local private boys school: St Hilarion's.
Charles didn't usually pay much attention to the opposing team.
Then Edwin crossed his path.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 308,904
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,659
- Kudos:
- 494
- Bookmarks:
- 79
- Hits:
- 17,553
Bookmarked by Nigg
04 Apr 2025