1 - 20 of 63 Works by Interrobam
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When Nandor the Relentless was invited to the Crossroads Cafe ostensibly to meet the Guillermo de la Cruz-- professional vampire slayer, sex icon, and top earning human performer on OnlyFangs-- he was pretty sure he was being, as the youth say, cat-fisted. After all, what would a human like Guillermo want with a Vampire like him? His account had barely seven-thousand followers, a pittance compared to Guillermo's nearly eighty-thousand patrons.
But he decided to go anyway, just in case he's wrong.
Guillermo has a thriving career making porn targeted to Vampires. Nandor has a... fair to middling career doing roughly the same. Guillermo has a proposal.
Series
- Part 3 of Variations on an Alliance
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" Guillermo met his eyes across the courtyard, and for a moment the human was grave and resolute as a warrior in battle, resigned to his fate yet defiant to its circumstances. For a moment Nandor imagined this meeting as the start of a war rather than a courtship, and for that moment he felt as if he'd found his footing again.
But then the human had done something outrageous.
Then the human had smiled. "
In the end, when all was said and done, the marriage of Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo de la Cruz would be remembered as a pivotal and defining moment in the history of human and vampiric society alike.
In the beginning, however, it was mostly just a mess.
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Vae Victis (Latin) “Woe Unto the Conquered”-- A cry noting or calling for the humiliation of the vanquished by their conquerors. The assertion that those defeated in battle are entirely at the mercy of their subjugators and should neither expect, nor request, leniency.
Nandor decides that he simply must make an example out of the comely little vampire slayer who has caused him so much trouble in his latest campaign.
Series
- Part 2 of Variations on an Alliance
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Executive Mentality by Interrobam for riskylatte
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
24 Jun 2025
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"Oh, no no," Nandor rushed to say, throwing his hands up as if to physically shield himself from the very notion of intercourse that transcended vanilla norms. "None, none of that stuff. I'm not into any of that, that weird stuff."
The frantic tone of his voice, the dry, thin laughter with which he followed this denial, the strained nonchalance of his expression-- these details all clearly conveyed to Guillermo that Nandor was in fact very very into 'that weird stuff,' but also in the deepest possible denial about that fact.
Nandor al Quolanudari might be the single most repressed client Guillermo de la Cruz has ever encountered. Fortunately for Nandor, Guillermo is pretty sure he can coax him out of his shell a little.
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"Ah, perhaps my Master believes that his slayer friends would not want to witness him bugger his pet abomination within an inch of it's afterlife?" Nandor asked, pouting and rolling his ass back against Guillermo's hips. There was an immediate outburst of assertions from their audience testifying that they would actually be very much in favor of watching such a display. Nandor grinned triumphantly, his eyes half-lidded in lazy satisfaction. Fucking brat.
"You're getting off on this," Guillermo grumbled.
"Can you blame me?” Nandor purred, now openly grinding against the slayer's lap. "You know how we vampires are-- all a bunch of sluts."
Once is a mistake. Twice is... a little bit more than that.
Series
- Part 2 of Slayers Made Them Do It
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What We Do In The Dungeon by Interrobam for SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
25 Aug 2024
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Guillermo de la Cruz is a gnome mage in desperate need of employment. A mysterious pair of elves promise a lucrative contract if he aids them with an... unusual quest.
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The Slayer's Collar by Interrobam for ghostoftonantzin
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
02 Jul 2024
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"Ah! Almost forgot," Nandor muttered softly, reaching towards Guillermo’s neck in an attempt to remove his only remaining garment-- the necklace around his throat. Panic filled the human as he slapped his hand over its central pendant reflexively, loathe to part with it.
"Please, Master, leave it on, I want to wear it," he begged.
“Huh," the vampire said, retracting his hand and furrowing his brow, "that one vampire guy was right, you really do love that necklace.”
Guillermo nodded eagerly. Yes, he loved the necklace. He loved it more than anything, this symbol of Nandor's ownership of him, these chains decorating his neck like a collar. He never wanted to take it off.
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Though Nandor is well aware that his marriage to Guillermo was arranged solely for the purpose of solidifying an alliance between their respective nations, he still holds out hope of winning the human’s affections by presenting him with a lavish gift. Unbeknownst to either of them, this present comes with consequences of a magical nature.
Series
- Part 1 of Variations on an Alliance
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VANQUISHED VAMPIRE VARMINTS VAMOOSE by Interrobam for halberrd
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Jan 2024
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"Vampires are very dangerous creatures," Señor Guillermo de la Cruz testified. "The people of Ashley Creek were wise to call on my services rather than try to take these undead bloodsuckers on themselves. Few humans can neutralize such a threat. Just look how the Mosquito Posse fared when they tried to go up against the Hustler Crew."
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“I am uncertain why it is that you are all of the sudden so hesitant, Master," Nandor coaxed in a husky voice, deep and rasping in a way Guillermo had no defense against. The vampire’s eyes were dark and half-lidded, his fingertips skating up the length of his thigh. “You know I am forever at your disposal, and I was so far under the impression that you found my services quite enjoyable indeed,” he cocked his head to the side, sent a brief but meaningful glance downwards. “Perhaps, though, you are waiting for me to beg for the privilege of proving my devotion to you?”
About two months after Guillermo begins his mission to infiltrate a covert organization of Vampire Slayers, several of its members walk in on him meeting with-- and conspicuously not attempting to slay-- Nandor. Guillermo has only seconds to think of an explanation for this that won't completely blow his cover and get the both of them killed.
The one he settles on may end up raising more questions than it answers.
Series
- Part 1 of Slayers Made Them Do It
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Dads of Christmas Past, Present by Interrobam for SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
10 Jan 2023
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INT. LIBRARY
COLIN ROBINSON (a Boy, a Prospective Energy Vampire, and a Small Creature That Crawled Out Of His Own Decaying Body) sits on a camelback couch. His legs dangle off its edge-- he’s not yet tall enough for his shoes to reach the floor. He playfully kicks out his feet. He's smiling.
COLIN: Hey documentary crew, guess what?
CAMERAMAN (OFFSCREEN): (after a pause, muffled) What?
COLIN: (smile broadening) I've never had a Christmas before. I think it'll be fun!
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Guillermo tries his best to give young Colin Robinson a memorable first Christmas. Laszlo helps in his own way.
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Deluge by Interrobam for SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
20 Jun 2021
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Nandor and Guillermo (mostly Guillermo) find themselves the victims of a surprise attack.
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An al Quolanudarian Vampire in The Bronx by Interrobam for Nandors Wizard Hat (enter_the_gloaming)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
24 Jan 2021
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Nandor spends La Noche Buena with the de la Cruz family. Whether Guillermo wants her there or not.
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" Nandor squinted up into the face of the stranger he was drunkenly swaying to the music with. He didn’t remember if the man had told him his name, and he was pretty sure he hadn't asked Nandor for his, but he was tall and broad and full of blood and that made him good enough for Nandor’s purposes. Guillermo had said he was hungry, after all, and big guys had lots of blood, right? They had to be, like, the Big Gulps of humans, right? He wanted to get his Master a Big Gulp human. Master deserved that. "
Guillermo sends Nandor out to the local seedy club to procure a meal for him.
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Incipient by Interrobam for salticidae
Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
27 Nov 2016
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Ravage rose from her place in the alleyway, each plate of her frame sliding smoothly over its neighbor like a swarm of nanites. Her audials rotated, her shoulders bobbed, as she moved silently into the shadows.
Something had been screaming for the past seven hours, and it was up to her to put a stop to it.
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Ties That Bind by Interrobam
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
10 Aug 2016
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Rung looked very good on his knees. Legs folded neatly beneath him, hands clasped together at the small of his back, spinal strut straight and helm tilted ever so slightly downwards. The glow of his naked spark casting shadows across the planes of his face.
Whirl could get used this view.
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To Be A Good Host by Certified Valve Charger (Interrobam)
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
30 Nov 2015
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" “Our guest," Senator Proteus began, gesturing at the small orange mecha bound to the slab, "is a mecha who seems to relish making my job difficult. His processor is irrecoverably glitched, I fear, and he is quite fond of harboring parasites. Aren’t you Rung?” The mech’s optics darted towards the senator’s face, but he made no reply except a shuddering exvent. “Perhaps a demonstration of the damage such pests can wreak on a functioning system will lead him to reconsider?” "
Senator Proteus and his esteemed guests try their best to teach Rung a lesson in loyalty.
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Stars Turning High by Interrobam
Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
11 Oct 2015
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" “Oh!” Rung perked up noticeably, plating flaring. “Do you craft as well?”
“I..” Whirl used to. Whirl had. Whirl had crafted, once, before her hands became something that couldn’t touch something beautiful and delicate. Before her spark became something that couldn’t touch something beautiful and delicate. She hadn’t known her spark could still ache for that until Rung had begun describing it. But she couldn't just tell cir that. “I’ve… dabbled.” "
In which, on another possible Lost Light, Whirl and Rung accidentally become a couple.(Canon Pronoun Version Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4785962 )
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Ad Nauseam by Interrobam
Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
17 Sep 2015
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Summary
"Rung had spoken the word of cern frame, once. But the Functionists had risen, and it had become necessary for cir to become inviolate. Cie could not survive as a body marked for annihilation. Cie could not speak the word of a body which was pain."
A story about trauma and dissociation, mind and body, integration and compartmentalisation. A story about Rung mending, slowly.
(Canon Pronoun Version Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4815875 )
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Ad Nauseam (Canon Pronoun Edit) by Interrobam
Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
17 Sep 2015
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Summary
"Rung had spoken the word of his frame, once. But the Functionists had risen, and it had become necessary for him to become inviolate. He could not survive as a body marked for annihilation. He could not speak the word of a body which was pain."
Edit of "Ad Nauseam" with Canon Pronouns for those triggered by noncanon pronouns.
(Please Visit Original for Full Tags/Warnings: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4815830)
Series
- Part 1 of Canon Pronoun Edit
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Envenomation by Certified Valve Charger (Interrobam)
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
06 Aug 2015
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" “I’m sorry Whirl, but my answer is ‘no.’ What you are suggesting, a romantic relationship between the two of us, it would be terribly inappropriate,” Rung replied, firmly but with a warm tone. Whirl narrowed his optic slightly, antennae twitching. He did not seem particularly perturbed by Rung’s response. The therapist worried that it was not because he had accepted his answer as much as he was confident that he could change it. "
Rung rebuffs Whirl’s advances, so the rotary takes matters into his own claws.
or
Once you go Whirl, it’s physiologically impossible to go back.