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Everyone knew that AFC Richmond was notoriously insular. Ted Lasso was very reluctant to sign any new players lest they mess with his carefully constructed changing room cult. It was the Lasso way or the highway. Jan Maas was one of the few exceptions. It was Lasso’s third season in charge and they needed to shore up their defence upon return to the Premier League. The tall and intimidating Dutchman was hailed as a supreme tactical signing to defend their line alongside captain Isaac McAdoo. Coming from a season long loan at Ajax, he was in the prime of his career and ripe to break into England’s top flight. Well that’s what the press was saying anyway.

The lads on the team were excited to meet their new teammate and friend. What they weren’t ready for was someone so resistant to friendship. It wasn’t that he was antagonistic, he was a delight to have around. Jan never made a fuss, just got on with his job and helped the team. He was polite and brought baked goods on people’s birthdays, even the members of the back room staff which made Ted like him immediately of course. He seemed to be a genuinely nice guy.

But he was so secretive.

He had been with the team for months at this point and they knew barely anything about him. He shared no information without prompting and when he was prompted he only shared the bare minimum. There were only a few things that they could say for sure and they all came from context clues and guesses, and that one time they got him drunk.

They knew that he lived near Richmond, somewhere, probably. He drives into work despite being very environmentally conscious. He would likely walk if he could. And sometimes he cycled, and looked damn good in those cycling shorts (that was Colin’s addition to the discussion in case you didn’t guess that already). For him to cycle it can’t have been that far out of Richmond. But, he never hosted any team social events. He attended all the team social events, apart from one that he was given permission to miss as it was his sister’s birthday and he didn’t want his horny teammates near his baby sister which, yeah valid. Yet when it was suggested that they go round to his it was always shot down and no reason given.

They knew that his parents were still together and still living in his childhood home just outside of Groningen and that he had a little sister who was engaged to a lawyer in Rotterdam. He wouldn’t let them meet his sister for the aforementioned reasons but they didn’t even know names of these people. His social media was so corporate and wouldn’t accept any friend requests on his private accounts saying they were just for family. He did once while drunk admit that he was homesick though. Playing for Ajax was a dream but he still felt unbelievably lonely for most of his spell there. Which honestly was understandable given how resistant he was to genuine human connection.

His birthday is the 1^st September, that was one concession that Higgins had made in revealing the man’s secrets from his personnel file despite the agonised noises he makes whenever anyone asks him anything. That man definitely knows something that would blow their minds. But he remains vault like in keeping their secrets. They throw him a party at training and Ted buys him stroopwafels and he talks about missing home. But he has things he cares about here too which make it better. The team hope that they count in that category.

He likes coffee and cinnamon rolls. He arrives to training most days with a coffee with a splash of milk in a Sunflowers travel cup despite being adamant that Sunflowers is his least favourite Van Gogh. He much prefers the landscapes, as a side point of information. And the cinnamon rolls. The cinnamon rolls are a point of contention between Jan Maas and the rest of the team. He claims that they are nutritionist friendly but will not share the recipe or where he gets them from. Calls it a family secret the little prick. So he taunts them on mornings by walking in with his coffee in his cheery yellow cup and taking bites from the forbidden fruit.

The big one though … Jan Maas was engaged. He hadn’t told them of course but Sam with his hawklike eyes had spotted a ring on a chain around his neck whenever they played. He tucked it under his shirt but sometimes it came untucked. At first they thought it was a wedding ring but Jan was quick to correct them. Him and his partner both had engagement rings. Jan did not believe in heteronormative courtship rituals. But he wouldn’t say anything about the mysterious partner. Colin was sure that the partner was a he, but his gaydar was shocking for a gay man. So they did not know for sure. He wouldn’t even say when the wedding was! It was driving everyone around him insane.

“We know what we have to do right?” Isaac announced to the assembled greyhounds laid in various places and in various states of disarray around his living room. He received a lot of blank looks of confusion in return. “We gotta do some detective shit to find out who Jan is fucking!”

“Devils advocate over here but … why do we care so much who Jan is fucking?” O’Brian called out from the corner. He raised his hands slowly in surrender as matching glares came from the other greyhounds.

“We’re a team and you don’t keep secrets from your team!” Colin declared and there was a ripple of noises of agreement. “So we need a plan. Who might know who he is dating?”

“Higgins!” Dani declared. “Higgins has all our paperwork he might know.”

“Excellent, so we can ask Higgins. Ted?” Isaac suggested.

“No Lasso can’t keep a secret to save his life so we would all know by now if he knew,” Richard sighed.

“Beard?” Moe suggested and there were against vague hums of approval. “But he is a steel trap. He won’t tell us,” Moe added.

“We’ll table that thought for last ditch efforts. We could try and follow him home?” Isaac suggested.

“Stalker much mate?” Arlo huffed.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Isaac snapped, flipping Arlo off. “If we know where he lives then we can do like a stakeout!”

“Still sounds very stalkery.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“I think we just need to keep an eye out. Make friends, ask about his life,” Sam suggested over the din.

“God Sam that’s so dull!” Colin groaned but was shushed by Isaac.

“That’s the background plan. We keep doing what we have been doing but we dig as we do,” Isaac grinned.

“That’s not what I meant,” Sam groaned but no one was listening.

Higgins winced in sympathy as he was stared at by the assembled curious greyhounds. “That would be a major breach of data protection boys,” he sighs. “I can’t just give you personal information from a player’s file.”

“All we want to know is his address for,” Colin began but then stalled without a prepared excuse.

“An engagement present?” Sam suggested hesitantly. Colin turned to point at him with a nod.

“Yes an engagement present delivered to him as a surprise, and also his emergency contact so we can warn his future spouse that it is coming,” Colin grinned, facing back to Higgins expectantly.

“I am sorry team but no can do. You’ll just have to ask Jan yourself,” Higgins choked out, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. He knew something. There was something about Jan’s homelife that Higgins didn’t think the lads would like.

“Hey Jan,” Colin smiled, sidling up to the Dutchman the next morning. Jan’s brow furrowed and concern was written all over the crinkle of his mouth.

“What is wrong with you?” Jan asked, looking up and down Colin’s body like he was looking for some phantom injury.

“Nothing’s wrong mate. Just wanted a chat,” Colin kept the plastered on smile even though it was starting to sit uncomfortably on his face with Jan’s refusal to mimic the expression.

“We never just talk,” Jan comments, blunt as was his habit.

“We do,” Colin protested immediately before he could actually think about that statement. His brain caught up with his mouth as Jan sook his head condescendingly. Had he properly talked to Jan Maas before? He definitely had on the pitch, but that didn’t count. He had been part of conversations with Jan as a group but did that count? Probably not if he was being honest with himself. Colin trawled through his memory to try and fine some inane exchange of pleasantries but there was nothing. That was bad. He was a bad teammate. “Ah, well. That needs to change don’t it,” Colin forced the smile back over his rapidly crumbling confidence in this encounter. “I was actually coming over about just that.”

“Oh?” Jan questioned, eyebrows raising as he dropped his bag down onto the bench with a thump that screamed finality.

“Yeah,” Colin drew out the note of the word. He should have come into this with a plan, but it was too late for that now. “It’s your turn to host team bonding!”

“We take turns hosting? Since when has that been a part of this?” Jan’s concern shifted into a frown.

“Isaac’s new idea to get to know the team better. Look forward to seeing what you come up with,” Colin blurted out before he could be called on his lies and ran.

“Is this really going to work?” Sam asked as they loaded into the back of Isaac’s car.

“He didn’t complain and gave us an address didn’t he,” Colin argued as they pulled back into the road.

“This just seems to easy don’t it,” Declan muttered, “like he’s been trying so hard to not tell us stuff and now it’s all, oh just come over to my house.” They all knew that Declan was likely speaking truth but they were running out of ideas. This was likely their last shot.

“I told you this wasn’t going to work,” Declan stated as they all got out of the car. Colin rubbed a tired hand over his eyes as they looked up at the board game café that Jan Maas had led them too.

They were never going to find out anything about his life.

Operation Jan Maas was put on hiatus after that day. Most of the greyhounds accepted that Jan wasn’t trying to be hostile and he likely wasn’t keeping any major secret from the group. But then the announcement came, they were heading to Amsterdam. With their flow out of various cups and lack of European qualification this year, Richmond had a few periods of free time during the season and despite Roy’s protests about the pointlessness of them Ted wanted to do some friendlies for charity and to try out new things. Ajax was their first of these weird Ted friendlies. The team was going to Amsterdam and everyone turned to look at Jan when the announcement was made. He had a small smile, that disappeared behind his hand when he noticed others looking. “Any family might want tickets there?” Ted asked and Jan nodded.

“I’ll let you know numbers once I’ve checked.”

“What about your fiancé, she can jump on the plane with us if you want?” Colin suggested, with a knowing nod and smile from Isaac.

“Ah well. No, watching football isn’t on the table,” Jan shrugged. Who dated an admittedly very handsome footballer who played in the Premier League and didn’t like watching football? Murmurs rippled around the changing room, likely raising the same question. But Ted cut off their gossiping with boring logistics.

“Come on why no football? Rebecca and Keeley would be good company in the VIP box. And not even a meal?” Isaac asked once Ted had finished his explanations.

“I will ask about food but football is not on the table. Not everyone likes the sport and the crowds,” Jan shrugged and wandered out of the conference room. More information about the mysterious fiancé, didn’t like football, didn’t like crowds. It wasn’t much but it did explain why Jan was hesitant to invite her to team gatherings or to games. They were a very rowdy bunch. As Jan left, Isaac got up and tilted his head for Colin to follow him.

“Where are we going?” Colin asked, trailing after Isaac.

“Jan’s going to ring the partner to make sure before we go tomorrow so he might be doing it now,” Isaac whispered, leaning against the wall and peering around it. “Come on,” Isaac continued on.

There was a slight problem with the plan.

“Of course they’re speaking in Dutch,” Colin groaned at a whisper.

“We should have seen that coming,” Isaac added.

“He’s saying that they should spend the night with the team socialising instead. That you lot will be fine and it’ll be good for her really,” Beard chimes in. Isaac jumped about a foot in the air and Colin screeched. Jan paused, turning around with his phone still pressed to his ear and face etched with confusion. Isaac pulled both Beard and Colin back around the wall hoping they were unseen.

“What the fuck dude? You some kinda ninja or something?” Isaac panted.

“And since when do you know Dutch?” Colin frowned.

“You act like you know anything about me,” Beard stated with a deadpan stare. He did have a point. Jan was a mystery but Beard was even worse. The main difference was that Colin didn’t want to know any more about Coach Beard, he was more than happy for the man to keep his secrets as Colin was pretty sure he would never sleep again if Beard decided to spill all.

“Fair,” Colin shrugged. Jan was continuing to pace as the person on the other end had her turn. Jan sighed and continued in slower, kinder sounding Dutch. Both Isaac and Colin turned to Beard expectantly.

“He says that he will respect it and tell us that it’s a no but he thinks she’s selling the team short,” Beard translated. Colin and Isaac then turned to each other with a frown. That sounded like Jan’s fiancé had a problem with them? They hadn’t even met her, or had they? Even if she had met them in passing that couldn’t be enough for her to have decided to never spend time with them.

“He’ll see her to tonight,” Beard added and then without a word strolled off down the corridor past Jan with a nod to the Dutchman as he hung up. Colin and Isaac scurried out into the stands. They couldn’t see Jan while they were processing. Suprisingly finding out that they were why Jan’s fiancé never interacted with the team hurt quite a lot. They were nice people. Yes they could be a bit loud and rowdy but if she didn’t want that then they could calm it down for her. They had been on board with Jan’s board game café idea; board game cafes were something that responsible adults did.

“I can’t believe she doesn’t like us,” Isaac muttered.

“We’re great,” Colin nodded, unable to keep the offence out of his voice. What stories was Jan telling her that she had decided to avoid the whole team like they were infected?

“We need to show her,” Isaac straightened up in the uncomfortable blue plastic seats. “We can show Jan that we’re calm mature adults and then he’ll be able to convince her to meet us,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Colin nodded. They stared at each other with an intensity usually reserved for the football pitch. Operation Jan Maas was in Phase 2: win over the fiancé.

“Hey Jan!” Paul called out as the dutchman was getting ready to leave a few days later. “Mabel and I were planning on hosting a couple’s wine and cheese night. You should come along with your partner,” Paul continued.

“Oh, sorry Jay will be busy,” Jan shrugged.

“I didn’t tell you when?” Paul frowned. Colin looked over at Isaac; at least they now had a name or a nickname. Jay could be any of a dozen names but it was better than ‘the partner’.

“New business expansion. Busy times. Plus we don’t drink,” Jan continued. “Maybe you should make it a full team night not just couples.” And then he was gone.

More new information about Jan Maas … how had they not noticed that Jan was sober? They had definitely bought him alcohol before. “Hey!” Isaac called out, jogging down the corridor after Jan. “What you said in there …”

“I believe that restricting events to just couples only is a very exclusionary and heteronormative approach to socialisation,” Jan stated as he turned around.

Isaac stared at him, blinking for a moment as his head caught up with what Jan was telling him. “No not that … although, noted. I mean about you being sober. I’m sorry mate. I swear we’ve like given you alcohol for presents before.”

“It is fine. We pass it on,” Jan shrugged.

“No, it’s not. Like if you … struggle or … then going out drinking with us,” Isaac stammered, gesticulating as something to do with his nervous energy.

“Neither of us are alcoholics. It is a personal choice that makes us more comfortable. There’s history with alcohol, with others. Therefore you don’t need to worry about drinking around me. I will be fine,” Jan explained, nodded with a small smile and was gone. Isaac watched him go, the cogs turning in his mind as he processed. Isaac wasn’t obtuse, he could read body language; when talking about history with alcohol he was relaxed. It wasn’t his history with alcohol, it was his partner’s. Now he felt really shitty about judging her for not coming to team events; they were always out drinking, or at a teammates house with beers. No wonder someone who had bad history with alcohol, likely a family member based on how Jan was talking, wouldn’t want to come along with a bunch of drunk footballers. They needed to adjust their plans. They needed to show the partner that they could be responsible, they were adults, they were not drunks.

“Can we still do wine and cheese night?” Jeff asked when Isaac walked back in.

Secret santa had been a tradition before Ted came to Richmond but after Ted’s first Christmas with them it was now a ceremony. Gone were the years of only alcohol and then going out that night and drinking all the alcohol, now there was a requirement that some thought went into the gift giving process. That was hard for a lot of the team but it also brought them all together too because you did need to know your teammate to make sure you could get a good gift for them. This year was doubly important because a gift giving was a perfect opportunity to show Jan how respectable they were. Jeff had Jan, Isaac was aware that his fact finding mission went against the spirit of secret santa but he was sure that santa would forgive him as it was all with good intentions, and the man had been given a brief to follow. The big box that he rolled up with was promising.

“Jan your folks coming over?” Moe asked, leading on from a discussion about his sister coming over to look at universities for her PhD.

“Unfortunately they are not able to get the time to fly over and neither have we. In January, the international break,” Jan replied. They were learning how to speak Jan slowly but surely. The little shrug of his shoulders and exhale through his nose spoke volumes of his disappointment. “But my fiancé’s mother and step father are visiting for the holidays,” he added.

“Oh?”

“Yes. We see them semi regularly but my fiancé is very close with them so it is always a party,” Jan smiled.

“English?” Moe asked.

“Very,” Jan chuckled, before getting up to hand his gift over to Babatunde. Isaac and Colin looked eyes, more information. Jan’s fiancé was English but they met and got engaged in the Netherlands. Maybe that was why Jan was so keen to accept the Richmond deal?

Soon it was Jeff’s turn and he placed the large box in front of Jan was a satisfied smile. Jan pulled open the box and then frowned with a head tilt. “An air fryer,” Jan announced. Paul nodded with a self satisfied smile. “I own an air fryer. I am a multimillionaire footballer,” he stated blankly. Isaac was moments away from groaning with his head in his hands. It was a simple task. Maybe they weren’t designed to be sophisticated individuals. 

“Well you said your fiancé liked cooking so …” Jeff gestured at it.

Jan stared at him for a moment, “yes.” And it appeared there was nothing more to be said about that.

“Ok who’s next!” Isaac exclaimed, distracting away from Jeff’s dejected shuffle back to his seat.

Operation Show Jan that We Are Mature Adults had got off to a poor start. The wine and cheese night had been a bust and the secret santa not too effective, but they were not going to stray from the course. They just needed to course correct a little. And course correct they did at a little café called Coffee and Cake; Coffee and Cake was not just a café.

“Pick a mug or a bowl or a plate!” Isaac yelled over the chattering mass of footballers. They were milling about in the centre of the room looking around them in a mix of awe and trepidation at all the paint splotches covering the walls and blank items to paint.

“Then sit down!” Paul added. Isaac watched as Jan tilted his head curiously before mooching over to the side and selecting a wide round mug and sitting down at the end of the table. Issac and Colin descended on him like vultures with their own, taller mugs selected. Once a few people started to sit down, the hoard followed with excited chitter.

“You got a plan?” Isaac asked Jan.

“I am thinking green base, and footballs on it,” Jan nodded determinedly.

“Oo yeah that’s a good one. I’m thinking like rainbow polka dots or something,” Colin nodded.

“What do you think I should do?” Isaac asked Jan.

“What do you like?” Jan asked.

“Football, but you are doing football,” Isaac replied, immediately.

“I do not have the monopoly on football, you could also do it,” Jan shrugged.

“No it needs to be special. I like rolos?” Isaac shrugged.

“Then do that. Brown and caramel colour,” Jan lined his paint up perfectly in front of him. That actually wasn’t that bad of an idea. He had owned one of those little easter egg mugs when he was a kid but that was probably back home. He could paint himself a new one.

“Is this the sort of thing you like to do?” Paul asked Jan when they settled down to properly start painting together. Jan was lathering on a deep green in a quiet contemplation, looking up only when he was spoken to.

“Not this. My fiancé likes to colour, you know those mindfulness colouring books although he doesn’t see the value in colouring within the lines,” Jan smiled. Ok this was winning, pottery painting was more the vibe. They could do more of that.

“Maybe we could do a museum trip or something?” Dani suggested.

“Oh I don’t know about that. Museums are a full experience in the Maas household. My fiancé has a lot of opinions on the Natural History Museum” Jan chuckled, more information. Their plan was working. Isaac could see it now; Jan with his fiancé lingering in the front of a fossil with little glasses on a glass of non alcoholic wine as they discussed the joints or something.

“This is nice.”

Isaac nodded and opened his mouth to talk about how much he loved these activities too when the shouts started. Whatever he was about to say turned into a curse; ten minutes, they had only made ten minutes before the chaos began. It started with two young rowdy footballers arguing over shades of orange paint.

“Oi, sit …” Isaac yelled but it was too late, a hand tightened around the bottle of paint and orange went everywhere. All bets were off when a spattering of orange flecks landed on Zoreuax’s plate. Isaac could only stand there and gawp as paint was flying everywhere, dicks were being drawn on people and items, shouting and pushing and shattering everywhere. There was nothing that Isaac could do to bring them back, the horde was loose. His eyes flickered over to Jan. He had grabbed a spare bowl to cover his mug and tucked it away on a shelf to keep it safe. But he was watching the chaos with a surprisingly fond smile and twitch in his eyebrow. That was, odd. Roberts fell against Jan leaving a splodge of bright pink paint on Jan’s jawline but the dutchman laughed and didn’t move to brush it off; he pushed Roberts back into the fray with a little slap on the butt. This was a side of Jan that they hadn’t seen before. But this was not proving that they were responsible real adults.

The plan was put on hold. The team were all preparing for Amsterdam and so there wasn’t time for Jan targeted team bonding. They weren’t any closer to working out how to get the fiancé to trust them as all of their ideas had ended in chaos, fun chaos but chaos all the same. No way that the fiancé would agree to meet with them. The problem was that even though these activities had been pointless wastes of time in terms of the real mission, Isaac had been having so much fun. The team was in the best place it had been in decades because they were a team. Book clubs and pottery painting and wine nights and board game cafes had turned into on pitch cohesion; they were still missing some goal threat to back up Dani but they were doing good.

Colin was looking forward to the Amsterdam friendly. Of course he hated they had been knocked out of the cup so early but having a trip was definitely better than sulking at home. Plus he had a plan about making his night better. Even when they had been battered, Colin couldn’t hide his enthusiasm. The only other person that wasn’t stewing in depression was Jan.

“Coach?” Jan called out as Ted turned to get off the bus.

“Oh, sorry Jan. What can I do for you?” Ted asked, smile still plastered on his face.

“Well my family were all coming to see the game and have invited me for an evening meal while I am back home. So may I be excused from the team bonding?” Jan’s voice is soft and tender but they can all hear an uncharacteristic buzz of excitement underneath.

“Of course! I hadn’t even thought of our resident Dutch. And I trust you, don’t worry about it,” Ted grinned and winked.

“Hey that’s not fair!” Colin shouted but couldn’t hide the teasing grin as Jan turned around looking outraged.

“I would not trust you either Colin,” Jan then bit back sending the whole bus into raucous laughter.

“Everybody else. I expect you down in the lobby in an hour. The coaches will be giving you some freedom and there is no curfew …”

Ted was interrupted by cheers this time from the whole bus.

“But you need to go as a team. Bond, do things together,” Ted added his stipulation. That complicated things. Colin was going to have to sneak out.

Colin knows he shouldn’t be here. Your team has just played Ajax in Amsterdam and has been humiliated in embarrassing fashion. Your team is supposed to be doing bonding things and you faked a migraine to sneak out. It was probably on every Dutch football fan’s TV in this damn city with them slating Richmond. Yet he still reached out to push the door open. Deep purple light filled his vision as soon as he crossed the threshold. Music vibrated every tense nerve as he took another step. But this was his chance, his real chance, because in London he would always be filled with The Fear. The Fear was all based in what ifs. What if someone recognised him? What if he got papped? What if someone just got with him to sell it to the papers? In Amsterdam, that risk was minimised. This was his chance. So why wouldn’t his feet move. “Mate you going in or what?” a lad laughed, pushing past Colin and inadvertently forcing Colin to take the first step. The place was thrumming with energy. The bass rattled Colin all the way to his teeth but it just made him want to move. There were all sorts of people here, talking with all sorts of other people, making out with all sorts of other people and nobody was looking twice.

He managed to get a drink, the condensation on the glass clinging to his hand and doing nothing to combat the heat washing over him. He managed to move towards the dancefloor and the only looks he get were appreciative ones directed at his assets. This was what freedom felt like. No one was judging him. No one was looking for a story. He could dance and be himself for once. The dancefloor was crowdedand Colin got himself lost in the music and throng of people. The beat echoed through him and Colin closed his eyes to move with it. However when he opened his eyes, they locked onto a tall figure that was a head higher than anyone else out there dancing. Well that was certainly a twist in the tale. Colin knew he was right and everyone doubted him all along. He didn’t expect to be proved right seeing Jan in the middle of the dancefloor in a gay nightclub in Amsterdam but Colin knew that the dutchman wasn’t straight. Fuck you Isaac he did have a functioning gaydar! Colin couldn’t help but stare at Jan as people pushed past Colin to get to the dancefloor. He looked free. He looked happy. A grin spread across his face as a smaller figure pushed through the crowd towards Jan and reached up to wrap arms around Jan’s neck. Blonde highlighted hair curled at the nape of his mysterious figure and seemed to catch the light as if glitter had been run through it as Dutch electronic music started to thrum through the bar. Jan leant down to whisper something into the ear of his dance partner and then pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw. Maybe this was the partner. Maybe Colin had stumbled upon AFC Richmond’s greatest mystery. He needed to get closer. Colin stepped into the dancefloor, dodging the advances of many men who he would have been happy going home with. Jan’s hips started to move as he rocked the figure in his arms. The mystery man was well built and was flaunting it with a basically see through purple mesh top and black jeans that were basically sprayed on over obscene thighs. Jan had good taste. Colin got as close as he dared and then grabbed the hand of the nearest fit man. Colin could feel the pressure of his dance partner and his blood was pumping with the thrill of being able to finally be like this and be open. But he was still waiting to see more of the mystery partner. The smaller man was moving in time with Jan’s body and it was only when he spun Jan to start basically grinding against him that Colin saw the other man’s face. Colin was wrong. Colin was wrong on so many levels. This wasn’t the partner. And Jan did not have good taste. Colin gawped as he saw Jamie Tartt smirk up at Jan and grip tightly onto the defender’s hips as they moved. It was absolutely Jamie Tartt, the same Jamie Tartt who had spent a few weeks getting his kit off on TV and then fucking vanished. They all thought he was dead and Colin was not ashamed to say that they didn’t mourn his loss. But Jamie wasn’t dead, he was grinding all over a practically married man in a gay Dutch nightclub. Jamie was gay? Well probably bi as he was way too handsy with Keeley for that not to be a real relationship. But that wasn’t important. Colin needed to tell the boys and they needed to get Jamie away from Jan before he ruined everything all over again.

Colin didn’t really know what he needed to do. He was loathed to out anyone even if it was just to friends and out of a duty of care, or even if it was Jamie Tartt. But if Jan was lying to the coaches and his teammates to sneak out with his piece on the side then that was not fair on his fiancé and so Colin should do something about it. And the key thing here was that Colin could not do anything about it on his own. He needed back up. He needed the agents of Operation Jan Maas.

They had an emergency meeting the night after they got back from Amsterdam. As soon as everyone was in various seats in Colin’s living room, he dived into the tale.

“It can’t have been Jamie,” Zoreaux muttered.

“It was, you don’t think I’d recognise Jamie!” Colin exclaimed, throwing his hands up as he paced.

“He does have a very distinctive butt,” Reynolds whispers and there were murmurs of agreement around the room.

“Where’s he been the last two years?” Sam asked, quiet as a mouse. Colin sighed, it took even a mention of Jamie for all the hard work of the last two years in bringing Sam out of his shell to disappear. Colin and Isaac had been assholes and others had jumped on the Jamie Tartt Bandwagon but Sam was the main player that bore his ire. Colin had never worked out why. He had never worked out why meek little Obisanya had irked Jamie the way he did. He had never bothered to ask Jamie when he was around.

“That’s not the important bit,” Colin exclaimed, shaking those thoughts out of his head. “The important bit is why he’s hanging off Jan in a Dutch club when Jan told the coaches he was going for food with his family.”

“Why were you in a Dutch club with a so called migraine?” Isaac asked. Everyone else made murmurings of realisation and turned to look at Colin with skeptisism.

“I …” Colin hadn’t thought about this bit. In seeing Jamie he had revealed his own outgoings and he was not ready to come out to the group. The hypocrisy dawned on him that he wasn’t willing to out himself but he had effectively just outed Jan, and Jamie but they all knew that Jamie would fuck anything with a pulse so that wasn’t new information. “I had a date,” Colin blurted out.

Declan wolf whistled, “chasing skirt in a foreign country! Respect,” he laughed. Declain extended his fist and Colin bumped it with a strained laugh. Isaac didn’t looked convinced but the rest of the group returned to the Jamie Tartt of it all.

“The Jamie question’s easy though. He’s a homewrecker. Chasing after our teammate, we all know that Jan is a catch,” Paul shrugged.

“We need to protect Jan,” Richard nodded.

“Yeah maybe he just doesn’t know who Jamie is and who he’s getting involved with,” Moe nodded.

“Let’s just talk to him then. Tell him. Like we’ve only talked about Jamie in terms of the team. Maybe he doesn’t even know who he was flirting with,” Colin nodded.

“Maybe they’ve got an open relationship?” Zoreaux contributed.

“That’s not the problem. I don’t believe Jan would properly cheat, it’s who he’s running around with that’s the problem,” Colin argued.

“We need to keep an eye on him, observe him,” Sam suggested, a pacifying voice in a room braying for blood.

“Yes, there is no point showing our hand until we know what Jamie’s intentions are,” Isaac nodded. “They will be nothing good but they may not be harmful,” he added, calming some of the outcries. They would wait. They would watch. Jamie would not get away with whatever he was planning.

Dani didn’t really know Jamie Tartt. He knew of Jamie Tartt of course, the team who had been present alongside their old striker never shut up about him and not in a good way. He had met him once and Dani tried not to judge on singular meeting. This meant that while all the others were obsessing over the Jamie Tartt Jan Maas mystery, Dani was staying out of it. Jamie should be allowed to live his life without all the people he had wronged in the past hunting him down for their pound of flesh. He had disappeared, they should let him disappear. Surely they would know if he was doing the same things at a different club and so he must have changed. Dani didn’t believe in grudges, they were a waste of perfectly good energy. He was musing over all of this while in Sainsburys looking for the right kind of fresh pasta. The intervention had not been a success. All they had really done was outed Jan and Colin at the same time and the awkwardness had settled over them like a dense fog. So Dani was hosting a pasta night to try and ease some of the tension. The Lasso friendship exercises hadn’t worked; maybe the Rojas ones would have a better chance of success. He turned around the corner, frowning down the aisle with the sauces. Dani was just about to admit defeat when a familiar figure rounded the other end. Basket hooked over one arm, Jamie Tartt ran his hand through blonde streaked highlighted hair and puffed out an exhale as he scanned the shelves. Dani blinked, rubbing at his eyes and when he moved his hand out of the way, Jamie Tartt was still standing there. It was like Dani had summoned him from the depths of his mind. A Beetlejuice situation where you think about Jamie Tartt three times and he will come to haunt you by buying tinned tomatoes in your supermarket. Dani didn't know what to do. It was one thing to chat about Jamie while he was safely an ocean, albeit a small one, away in Amsterdam. But now he was here in London and he had found his tomatoes, turning to look up at Dani. Jamie may feel like he's the predator but they both stared at each other like deer in the headlights.

"Jamie," Dani finally stirred out of his stunned trance. "I was not expecting to see you here!"

"Yeah me neither," Jamie laughed awkwardly. He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "I thought you lot would order your food online," he added with a shrug.

"Sometimes. But this required a personal touch," Dani replied but he was distracted by the information that Jamie had accidentally provided. The first thing was that Jamie had put some thought into avoiding the Richmond lads, all the people from his past life. He didn't want to see them. Dani didn't blame him but that didn't fit with the walking ego persona that the Richmond team moaned about semi regularly. The second thing was the us verses them mentality. Jamie had vanished from the football world with a sputter of curiousity then he had been forgotten about. Despite that they would have heard if he was back in the game surely.

"Good to see you well," Jamie cleared his throat and nodded. He started to move away but Dani stepped with him. The boys would kill him if he wasted this Jamie Tartt interrogation opportunity. 

"So how come you are back in London?" Dani was not designed for interrogation: Dani does not do subtle. 

"Oh, family." Jamie waved off dismissively carrying on with his shopping.

"What are you making?" Dani asked, stood alongside

Jamie in the spices and herbs aisle. He wanted Jamie take a deep inhale, a calm measured exhale and then reach a surprisingly shaky hand out to grab the ground cumin. "Shakshuka," Jamie replied blankly. 

"Oh yes thats..."

"What are you doing Dani?" Jamie snapped. 

"Shopping," Dani squeaked. He didn't know what spice he mindlessly tossed into his basket but both Jamie and him paused as the glass bottle clinked against the metal bars. 

Jamie’s look of disapproval hadn’t changed in the year and a bit he had been away; in all the film Dani had watched it usually had been levelled at someone who had missed the pass or had their pockets picked but it was just as effective in the supermarket. “You know that isn’t what I mean.”

“I haven’t seen you in a long while and want to catch up with my friend,” Dani smiled.

“I’m not your friend,” Jamie laughed harshly, but the noise aborted into a squeak when Dani felt his face fall. “That was mean. I’m sorry. I mean I barely know you and I am trying to avoid the lads.”

Dani knew that he was gawping but Jamie Tartt, the ghost that haunted the walls of Nelson Road had just completely unprompted apologised to Dani and it was a sincere apology. Maybe Dani was dreaming, that would explain this wouldn’t it.

“I understand,” Dani nodded.

“Thank you,” Jamie smiled softly. “It’s nothing against you. You seem nice but the lads can be a bit much.” They both chuckled.

“That is an understatement. I would like to stay in touch though,” Dani held out his phone. Jamie bit his bottom lip and stared at Dani’s phone like it would burn him if he touched it. Dani remained still. He had lots of experience with wild dogs back home that he could now apply to the situation. Movement would spook his target, he had to remain still and gentle.

“Fuck it, go on then,” Jamie sighed. He grabbed the phone and typed in his number. Dani’s grin strained at his jaw as he tucked his phone away. Jamie had changed. Maybe the assumptions that Colin and the others had made about his dealings with Jan Maas were wrong.

Dani had debated about telling the others he had run into Jamie and Jamie was actually really nice and making breakfast egg dishes in his free time. On one hand, they deserved to know Jamie had changed and maybe him getting on with Jan Maas wasn’t the conspiracy they had decided it was. Jamie deserved to be able to live his life. On the other hand if he didn’t tell them they might find out and then Dani would be guilty he didn’t tell them. Dani believed honesty was the best policy. And so he was honest. It was a mistake.

“What the fuck?”

“Jamie! As in asshole Jamie?”

“Are you sure?”

“It can’t be!”

Shouts from the assembled greyhounds echoed around Colin’s living room, overlapping each other and creating a din of outrage.

“It was,” Dani yelled over all of them. “It was Jamie Tartt. I talked to him. He was buying tomatoes and said he was back in London for family.”

“Back in London to be a homewrecker,” Isaac hissed and lots of the others nodded.

“I don’t think …”

“We can’t let him get away with this,” Colin yelled. “It’s one thing to meet and flirt with Jan in the Dutch nightclub but to follow him back to London?”

“We don’t know that …”

“We need to confront him,” Isaac nodded. No one was paying attention to Dani’s protests. He knew he shouldn’t have told them. “We’ll find him and just warning him off Jan.”

“And try and find out why he’s here,” Colin added with a nod.

Dani dropped his head down into his hands.

Isaac knew a guy who could get him Jamie’s address. It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t entirely legal but by the end of the week, they had an address for Jamie Tartt. He was back in Richmond. The audacity! Isaac could understand him being back in London; it was the capital city and banning a man from living in the capital was a bit extreme for some asshole behaviour. But he had come back to their house and was flirting with their defender, that could not stand. The house was nice; it was smaller and more quaint that Isaac expected it to be. Jamie’s house the first time in Richmond was sleek and modern, all clean lines and blinding white surfaces. This was worn stone and an immaculately maintained front garden. He even had a fucking bird feeder with a squirrel feasting as Isaac and Colin advanced up the path. Walking through the slightly squeaky iron gate had felt like they were entering the twilight zone, marching up the mountain to find the dragon. In hindsight, when they were reflecting on this during the drive home, they should have gone into this confrontation with the plan that was more detailed than ‘threaten Jamie into fucking off back into the hole he crawled out of’. With each plot of rhubarb and apple tree they passed, that resolve withered.

The doorbell was a grating plinky plonky melody that seemed to continue for an age as Isaac and Colin waited on the doorstep.

“Babe did you forget …” Jamie chuckled as he pulled the door open. He stopped in his tracks, like a buffering video with his eyes wide, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly agape. Isaac hadn’t seen new Jamie yet and, he wasn’t gay, but he did have to admit Jamie looked good. It wasn’t just the new hairstyle or the shift from tight restrictive dark colours to flowing patterned shirts; he had a new glow of happiness that even managed to make it through the look of pure panic plastered on his face. He looked healthy in a way that only served to draw attention to the fact he never did when they were friends.

“What are you doing here?” Jamie stammered.

“We’re here to tell you to stay the fuck away from Jan!” Colin exclaimed, hands on his hips and puffing his chest out like he was some sort of tropical bird in a power display. At least Colin had been given the time to process the fact Jamie was back and was able to stick to the kind of plan. Isaac took a moment to come back to the world of the living and to accept that Jamie had as well. Of course he believed Dani and Colin but it was completely different to see it with your own two eyes.

“Really,” Jamie scoffed.

“Yeah, we know what you’ve been doing. Jan is happy and engaged and we are not going to have you ruining something else,” Isaac’s voice returned to him. They had a mission.

“Is he now?” Jamie’s smirk returned.

“Yes. And this is just what you do. You come in and have to make everything about you. What was getting your dick out on terrestrial tv not enough for you? Need to get the headlines so bad you are willing to ruin a man’s life, and good name?” Colin snapped.

Isaac didn’t know what reaction he was expecting. Jamie’s moods could go any which way and he was ruthlessly efficient at cutting you down to size no matter what route he chose that day.

“Who are you to dictate how your teammate lives his life?” Jamie frowned, tilting his head like it was genuine confusion not some taunt.

“We are helping him, protecting him from you so back off,” Isaac hissed, but even then he felt like the walls of the trap were closing around him. Jamie was a hunter; and the two footballers that had stumbled to the door were his prey despite their initial intentions.

“Um, I don’t think I will,” Jamie shrugged.

“What?” Isaac exclaimed. Jamie was never one to be cowed but they thought that he wouldn’t be willing to fight for a fuck buddy. The assumption was that he would shrug and roll over not shrug and fight his ground. What did they do now?

“I’m not going to back off,” Jamie stated slowly, dragging out each syllable tauntingly. “If Jan wants me to back off then he can come here and tell me that himself. So go talk to him if you want to tell him all of the different ways that I am evil and how I punt babies or whatever but don’t fucking waste my time,” Jamie huffed, nose crinkling in displeasure.

Isaac and Colin looked at each other and before they could compose their next thought, Jamie took a sharp intake of breath. He was looking at them with a little quirk at the corner of his lips before barking out an abrasive laugh.

“You have talked to him haven’t you?” he laughed.

Isaac and Colin’s silence answered that question for them and Jamie laughed again.

“Oh this is good,” he snapped. “You went to him and told him what an awful creature I am, did you tell him that the two of you were right behind me every step of the way?” Jamie asked.

“He’s not fucking us is he?” Colin hissed, flushing red from the scolding. Because Jamie was right, yeah they had changed their ways quicker than Jamie did but they had been there.

“No, he’s not. He’s fucking me and he wants to be fucking me and so you two can run along now and leave me alone. You know there’s a reason I didn’t call you when I came back to town,” Jamie scoffed, turning his back on them.

“We’re not leaving until you do,” Isaac stood firm. It did admittedly hurt, just a little, when he found out that Jamie was back in town and he hadn’t called. Isaac would have ignored him or sent heartless platitudes, as he had grown since Jamie’s departure, but the opportunity to do that would have been nice. Jamie was not better than them; he was not the conductor of this orchestra anymore. Yet as they stood on his doorstep they were still dancing to his rhythm, despite not knowing the time signature he was using.

“Oh fuck it,” Jamie growled, setting off storming into the house leaving the doorway as a gaping expanse in front of them.

“What?” Isaac questioned looking at Colin with his brow furrowed and a matching frown of confusion on Colin’s face.

“Does he want us to go in?” Colin asked. Isaac could only shrug.

However before they could make their decision, Jamie came thundering back down the corridor with a small book in his hands. “There you go. Because you need proof to trust your teammate, fucking hypocrits,” he snarled and thrust the book into Isaac’s hands.

“What’s this about?” Isaac asked.

“You have eyes,” Jamie sassed back, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest petulantly.

Isaac opened the book and his heart sank immediately. He knew what this was and they had made a grave error. Picture after picture of Jamie and Jan under some sprawling oak tree kissing and hugging. Jamie grinning at the camera showing off the ring on his finger. On the next page an image of Jan looking more subdued but still smiling and his cheeks flushing with happiness as he held up his own hand. The last page, a picture of Jamie crying as he held his hands over his mouth. Jan was down on one knee, looking up at Jamie like he hung the stars.

“See, when Jan asked me to move back here with him I said no at first,” Jamie snatched the book back out of Isaac’s hands, cradling it in his own. “I said, the Richmond lads hate me and they’re all about mentally six so are going to be really bitchy and petty about it.”

Isaac opened his mouth to say something, anything but Jamie was in a flow.

“He convinced me otherwise. Told me that you lot would have grown up and I could let down my defences again,” Jamie laughed. “But I’m always right ain’t I. No one should ever doubt me,” he bit, lips curling.

“Jamie,” Colin squeaked. He was doing better than Isaac who had doors slammed shut in his oesophagus.

“Get the fuck off my property.”

And the door was ceremonially slammed in their faces.

“What the fuck do you two idiots think you are doing?” Jan threw the changing room door open, sending it thumping into the woodwork behind. O’Brian jumped out of his skin, hitting his head on the top of his alcove in diving away from the incensed Dutchman, and let out a little squeal of shock. Everyone froze in place as Jan stormed through the centre of the room, expression thunderous. Isaac and Colin looked at each other and both gulped. There were only two idiots that Jan could be referring to. They were the two idiots.

“Jan,” Colin opened his mouth and the name came out high pitched and nervous.

“I made it so very clear that I did not want anyone meddling in my business outside of work,” he growled.

“We know but it was …”

“I made myself clear,” Jan interrupted. He loomed over Colin and and Isaac. Colin knew Jan was tall, you couldn’t miss him in a crowded room, but he had never been scared of that height and muscle before. Now he was very scared, Jan could crush his head like a peanut.

“And then you make him feel like an asshole, a bastard,” Jan snarled. “You came to my home, without my permission, and slandered my partner!” Jan was rightly furious and Colin and Isaac flushed red with embarrassment.

“We …”

“No, it is my turn to talk. You two have done enough talking.”

Colin and Isaac nodded in stunned silence.

“I do not care what Jamie has done to you in the past. He has not done anything to you now. He has been inconveniencing himself to not interact with you and you insult him, degrade him! All this time you have been pandering to me to try and earn the respect of my partner. He didn’t believe you had changed. I should have trusted him.”

Colin felt himself wilt, any confidence in their actions over the last few weeks was burnt away in the burning sun of Jan’s ire. Jamie had said it to them when they darkened his doorstep but those cracks had been yanked wider by Jan’s fury.

“What’s going on out here?” Ted stepped out of the office with Roy and Beard hot on his heels.

“These idiots are meddling in my business,” Jan spun on his heels pointing at the bashful Colin and Isaac in turn.

“Well I’m sure it’s nothing let that. They’re just …”

“It is like that.” Now it was Colin’s turn to interrupt someone. “We were nosy and got involved in something we shouldn’t have done. We just saw Jamie and …”

“Jamie, as in Tartt?” Ted interrupted.

“Come someone please finish a sentence,” Roy barked. Silence settled over them like a weighted blanket as everyone waited for someone else to take the lead.

“They will all know soon enough anyway. These idiots,” Jan waved to Isaac and Colin, “followed me to my day with my family in Amsterdam and seem to have decided they need to save me from my fiancé.”

Ted looked between all three of them, the picture of confusion. “And so how does Jamie Tartt fit into all of this?” he muttered.

The room fell silent again with the other greyhounds doing their absolute best to fade into the background and everyone looking at Ted with shock that he hadn’t worked it out yet.

“Christ alive, Jamie is Jan’s fiancé,” Roy exclaimed. Colin nearly jumped a foot into the air at the shout. But when his heart had stilled slightly, Colin turned his shocked expression on Roy.

“Wait you knew?” he squeaked.

Roy shrugged. “Jamie told Keeley when he came back to London. We’ve had brunch,” he explained like this was the most obvious thing in the world. It had never occurred to them to ask Roy. Roy hated Jamie and was more likely to commit a murder instead of go out to brunch with the man, or so they thought.

“Jamie’s back,” Ted muttered. Everyone’s heads snapped back to him. Ted looked like he had seen a ghost at the vaguest mention of Jamie. They had never seriously thought Jamie was dead; that wouldn’t be something that they would be able to keep out of the press no matter what had happened. But he might as well have been a ghost as all of Richmond thought he was dead to them. He had ghosted them when he went back to Man City and then Lust Conquers All and then all of his social media had been deleted. His rental house was boarded up and none of the Man City lads had heard from him. He had disappeared in a puff of smoke and, it felt harsh to even think, none of them had really cared. But now he was back, and different, and about to get married to one of their teammates.

“Yes. Yes he is,” Jan groaned, throwing his head back. “I dragged him back here and he came despite being very uncomfortable at the thought of seeing any of you again because he cares about me and my career. So I will not tolerate any of this continued slander.” There was no argument in Jan’s tone; Colin shrunk even further into himself at the Dutchman’s ire. It seemed like maybe if Jamie was good enough for Jan then he could be good enough for them again.

“We should start afresh,” Sam stammered, the first thing he had said since the reveal. His eyes were wide and his lip deep red from all the worrying he had been doing. “If Jamie’s going to be around we owe it to Jan to try,” he added, somehow even quieter. Sam’s hands were shaking but were plunged deep into his pockets in a vain attempt to hide it.

“That sounds like a grand idea,” Ted chimed, smile shakily returning to his face as he clapped his hands together. “Maybe we could all …”

“Jamie is not going to meet all of you in some bombardment,” Jan’s body was still bristling and tense.

“Well he’s the one …” Zoreaux spoke up but whatever comment about Jamie he was about to make died before he could from the force of Jan’s glare. Somewhere in the last two years Jamie had managed to get himself a nice, kind fiancé and a guard dog at the same time.

“He owes you nothing.”

“How about me, Colin and Isaac?” Sam suggested before he could stop himself. Why on earth had he included himself in this clusterfuck? He had a built in excuse not to be there; yet he needed to be there. Sam needed closure on this whole ordeal. He thought his closure was never seeing Jamie Tartt again. However if he was going to be around then Sam needed to clear the air.

Jan contemplated it for a moment before nodding, “I’ll check with Jamie.”

If Roy Kent had managed to have brunch with Jamie Tartt without killing him, then Sam Obisanya could have dinner without his heart giving out.

The restaurant hadn’t opened yet and so it was easy to pay Simi masses of overtime and have Ola’s to themselves. The less people to bare witness to the inevitable mess this would become the better. Sam stood in the doorway staring out at the passersby, tapping his foot. He had grown up in the past two years. He wasn’t the same baby he was when Jamie tormented him the first time around. Sam breathed in through his nose deeply and exhaled in a low whistle out of his mouth. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets to try and disguise the shaking. “You alright lad?” Colin asked, startling Sam out of his musings. He hadn’t even thought of Jamie in at least a year, since his face stopped being on TV everywhere. And yet he still had a hold like this over Sam, unable to shake the feeling that Jamie caused in him. He was nervous, Jamie had no right to make him feel like this. Yet Sam respected Jan and Jan clearly liked him, wouldn’t be marrying him if he didn’t. He didn’t know what to think about all of this.

“Yes, it’s just … you know,” Sam stammered.

“Fucking weird,” Colin laughed.

Sam exhaled and nodded, “feels like someone is going to jump out with a tv camera and laugh at us.”

“He was, he’s different,” Colin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and shrugging. Sam was looking for anything to say. He wanted to believe it but in his heart he couldn’t.

Before he found the words to articulate it however, the tall lithe figure of Jan Maas was noticeable in the mass of passersby. He seemed to be alone though, which didn’t ease the thumping of Sam’s heart.

“Hello. Jamie is meeting us here as he is coming straight from work,” Jan smiled. Sam’s palms were sweaty and he wiped his hands on his trousers, hoping the texture might settle him. It didn’t.

“Work?” Isaac scoffed. The glare that was levelled at Isaac was impressive and he was immediately cowed. It seemed Jan still hadn’t got past the confrontation from the day before.

“Yes. Jamie works and he needs to close up today so did not have time to go home. Do you have any problems with this?” he asked, a rhetorical question clearly if Isaac valued his life.

“Course not!” Isaac stammered. “Just never imagined Tartt with a real job,” he muttered under his breath to Colin when Jan turned around.

“God, sorry love. Carla had to dash to make Jake’s play and if I didn’t get the dough done to rest overnight then it would be a nightmare in the morning,” a familiar chipper Mancunian accent steamrolled through all of Sam’s defences as Jamie hurried down the street. The worst part of it all, Jamie looked good. He had lost more than a few pounds of muscle but that just gave him a lean fitness. He had allowed his hair to grow out and had the lighter brown waves lightly gelled back away from his face compared to the gel helmet from before. The orange cargo pants clashed horribly with the blue shirt with little cartoon sunflowers on it but in a way that just accentuated the glimpses of Jamie’s horrific style they had seen during his time at Richmond. Wait … sunflowers. Jan’s morning cup with the painting that he said he didn’t like on it. Sam’s mouth dried out as he watched, Jan wrapped his arm around Jamie’s shoulders and give him a little peck on the cheek.

“Don’t worry. I only just got here too,” Jan smiled, it was so soft and sweet and Sam felt like he was going to pass out. Jamie’s eyes flittered between Jan, Isaac, Colin and the Sam. His gaze hardened from the worried but loving twinkle he looked at Jan with to something darker by the time he got to Sam.

“Boys, um, hey, I guess,” he muttered, with a little shrug. Right hand wrapping around his left wrist, Jamie stood tense, and firm. Sam had a plan. He had workshopped with his dad last night what he was going to say to Jamie. He had a whole speech about how Jamie had made him feel and how he had grown and he hoped Jamie had too. It was all gone, he couldn’t remember a word of it. Sam didn’t know what he was expected but he didn’t expect Jamie to look so similar but lighter. He looked like he had just been away on an extended holiday and he looked like he still hated Sam.

“Let’s not do this in the street,” Sam stated and turned to go inside before he lost it all.

“We’ll be in in a minute,” Jan stated, and Sam, through the window, watched as Isaac and Colin let the door fall shut behind them.

“Not a great start,” Colin muttered. Sam nodded, not able to take his eyes off Jamie and Jan outside. Jamie was still there in his closed off posture staring blankly at the door. His lips were pursed and brow furrowed. With a guiding hand on his arm, Jan turned Jamie and freed his right hand from where Jamie had held them tight in front of him. Sam wasn’t good at reading lips and he saw Jamie snap something and then immediately crumple as Jan interlocked their fingers. A gentle and reassuring squeeze as Jan pulled Jamie in closer. Jan smiled and whispered, which put a little smile on Jamie’s face, relieving some of the tension. Jan nodded his head towards the door and Jamie sighed with a shrug. Jamie rolled his eyes and said something else that earned a bark of laughter from Jan. Jamie’s teeth flashed and the Jamie of old flashed out with a little flick of his tongue and Jan sighed and shook his head. They then turned to come inside and all three patrons in there turned and pretended to have been looking anywhere else than that display. Sam was going to be sick. It was so cute and domestic and Sam wanted to be happy for his friend. But the other shoe had to fall didn’t it. Because if it didn’t then what was the point of what Sam went through. If Jamie could just flip a switch and be the doting finance who made their partner coffee on a morning and worked at a bakery and wore stupid cute sunflower shirts, then he could have been like that with Sam. And he didn’t, he was still the shadow that haunted Sam every time he stepped out onto a football pitch. It would take a lot more than one fine interaction to get over that.

“Sorry for that delay,” Jan apologised as he walked in hand in hand with Jamie, softly pulling him along. Jamie looked like he wanted to be there as much as Sam, Colin and Isaac did.

“No worries lad,” Colin broke the tense silence and was the first to sit at the table.

“This place is nice,” Jamie murmured as he sat down.

“Oh it’s Sam’s. He wanted a taste of home and so built one himself,” Isaac patted Sam on the back. A hot blush spread, as much as he appreciated the lads trying to big him up it was such a minor thing to be smug about in front of Jamie Tartt. But Jamie was pursing his lips looking between Jan and Sam. He quickly took a breath and a sharp exhale before his features softened.

“That’s so cool. Like urgh the amount of time I’ve spent trying to get his mum’s hachee recipe just right this winter,” Jamie scoffed rolling his eyes.

“That’s because you always forget the,” Jan moaned, then staring at Jamie with an expression that was very familiar to Sam with English being his second language. Jan groaned, “love I mean the kruidnagel,” he muttered.

Jamie’s brow furrowed before his mouth made a little realisation circle, “oh you mean cloves!”

Jan nodded rapidly, “yes cloves, you always don’t put enough in.”

Jamie huffs fondly, squeezing Jan’s hand, “despite my apparent cooking inadequacies. We know how hard it is to find good international cuisine for smaller communities. Good on you for doing something about it.” Jamie smiles softly. A peace offering.

“Thanks. Do you have many Dutch things at your bakery?” Sam asks. He’s not one to turn down an olive branch when it has been offered. Baby steps. That seemed to be the exact right thing to say as it set Jamie off rambling about all the family recipes that Jan’s aunts had shared with him and how he had put his own little twists on some of them as well. Sam just let the conversation wash over him, inserting the relevant hums and nods when Jamie paused. He took the time to just watch. There was the nugget in his chest that still thought all of this could be a lie. This could all be a con, but if it was a con what did Jamie have to gain. Jamie didn’t even want the greyhounds to know he was still alive, a lot of effort had been put in to make sure the greyhounds wouldn’t know. So what would be the aim of Jamie’s manipulation if that was the case. What did he have to gain from being Jan Maas’ secret partner? Nothing, there was no benefit to it for Jamie Tartt. Sam just couldn’t wrap his head around it. Every so often, Jamie looked like he was about to run out of steam and then Jan would smile softly at him, say a couple of words and he would set off again. It was sweet sickeningly so. It wasn’t Jamie fucking Tartt that sat in front of him. It was just some guy called Jamie who was thoroughly in love with his fiancé.

“Why did you come back?” Sam blurted out when Jamie paused his chatter to put a meatball in his mouth. Jamie froze, eyes wide and shocked with his cheeks puffed like a chipmunk when he forgot he needed to chew the food he had just shoved in there. Jan and Jamie had spent most of the dinner holding hands but when the food arrived they had broken apart to be able to use both pieces of cutlery. Now Jamie’s hand gravitated sideways and he quickly found his fingers interlocked with Jan’s.

“Um,” Jamie murmured, eventually remembering to chew and swallow his mouthful. Sam didn’t mean to blurt that out. They were all doing a magnificently awkward job of avoiding the elephant in the room but Sam’s blood pressure just couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes settled on Jan and Jamie’s intertwined hands. Jan was wearing a few rings which Sam had never seen during their social events. One was his engagement ring which made sense, he had no reason to hide it off the pitch anymore, but the others were also unfamiliar. Jamie’s hand squeezed and his fingers latched onto a small star on one of the rings, twiddling it under the pad of his finger.

“Jan got the Richmond job,” Jamie muttered with a shrug, pulling Sam away from his crisis of faith. How had the worst person Sam knows got the best fiancé? “I had to make a decision,” Jamie confessed. “It was either stay on the continent hiding from my mistakes and lose Jan. Or support my man, move with him and risk this confrontation.”

“You picked the second,” Colin pointed out the obvious.

“Yeah no shit sherlock,” Jamie scoffed. He pressed his lips together and rolled his eyes, a seemingly rare glimpse of the Jamie from before sneaking past his carefully constructed walls. “He was worth it,” Jamie added when no one called him out.

If this wasn’t Sam’s teammate with his archnemesis Sam might have been cooing at how sickeningly sweet it was. Jamie was different, but also the same and Sam didn’t know how much of this he could trust.

They fell back into aimless chatter punctuated by knives and forks scraping against plates. Simi had outdone herself, the food was beautiful and Sam felt a flutter of pride at the quickly emptying plates in front of his friends and Jamie. A meal was the right idea; food had helped ease the awkward tension but even the feast hadn’t got rid of it entirely. Problematically, the fact Jan was so relaxed was what was ratcheting up the tension for the other three current footballers. Jan was so at ease with Jamie. Even when he was being sarky and teasing, Jan was looking at Jamie like he hung the stars.

“Why are you with him?” Colin blurted out when Jamie excused himself to go to the toilet, with a lewd joke thrown in there that Jan rolled his eyes at and snorted. He never snorted at any of their jokes.

“Colin you can’t just say that?” Sam squeaked. They were all thinking it but you couldn’t just ask someone that.

“He is an acquired taste,” Jan stated. That Sam could definitely agree with. “But he is loving and honest and tries.” What more could you ask for at the end of the day? It was clearly working for Jan and Jamie.

“You are good for him,” Sam admitted.

“And he is for me,” Jan nodded. “I do hope that this has helped. I have tolerated your disrespect towards Jamie for too long at his request, that will not continue,” Jan threatened. He was scary when he wanted to be. The combination of the deadpan voice, steely eyes and the physique of a tall footballer all combined into an intimidating figure. All three of the guests to this dinner were nodding rapidly out of both agreement and fear. Sam’s dislike of Jamie was not going to go away so easy but he was able to be civil for the sake of their shared friends.

“I understand,” Sam nodded.

“You two, in particular. I am not a damsel. He is my fiancé. I will choose him over you any day. Any more talk of any assumptions to his character and I will not be so forgiving.”

Sam looked over to see a mix of guilt and terror on the faces of Colin and Isaac. They all knew that Jan realistically was meaning that he would stop with the team spirit activities and maybe move club. They couldn’t help but imagine there would be shovels involved in the fall out instead.

Jamie was back before anyone could say anything else.

At the end of the night, Jamie pulled Sam aside when Isaac and Colin went to stand outside.

“I am sorry,” Jamie sighed, biting at his bottom lip and looking everywhere around Sam that wasn’t directly at him.

Sam didn’t know what to say, there was nothing to say. Jamie couldn’t just walk straight back into Sam’s life after managing to irreparably scar his self esteem in a few dragging months. He couldn’t stand there and apologise and expect everything to suddenly be find between them. Sam didn’t even know if he ever wanted things to be fine between them. He deserved to cultivate his space with people that cared about him; the unfortunate thing was Jan was in that circle of trust making it very awkward if his partner was persona non grata around any AFC Richmond players. Sam had promised Jan he would be civil.

“I lit a match, threw it and watched all my Richmond bridges burn. I did that and I’m not expecting forgiveness. I’m just sorry you got hurt in my self destruction,” Jamie continued despite Sam’s stunned silence.

“Thank you,” Sam whispered. It didn’t make everything better. But Sam had never imagined that he would get a genuine apology from Jamie for everything that he had done. Because he hadn’t entertained the idea that it would happen, Sam didn’t know how to react.

“Thanks mate. Um, if you want to come to the café you’re always welcome. Say you’re a mate and you’ll get the best stuff,” Jamie replied, pulling on his coat with a faint flicker of his old charming smile.

“I think I will,” Sam nodded and this time he wasn’t lying.

“So …” Zoreaux hummed as soon as Sam came in the next morning. “How did it go?”

“It was fine,” Sam nodded, placing his bag in his cubby and stripping off his hoodie.

“Just fine? Really?” Paul frowned.

“Yeah. He was civil, apologised,” Sam shrugged.

“Jamie Tartt … the Jamie Tartt, apologised to you?” Moe scoffed.

“Yes. And so we are not to talk bad about him to Jan and we are not to bother him,” Isaac announced in his usual dramatic arrival.

“So we just …”

“Yes,” Isaac growled. “Jan has asked that we respect his privacy and he is our teammate so we are going to do that.” His tone left no room for argument and there was a ripple of noises of agreement throughout the room. Dani raised his hand and looked around the group nervously. “Yes Dani?” Isaac sighed rolling his eyes.

“If we want to be friends with Jamie is that still ok?” Dani asked.

“Why would you want to be friends with him?” Richard asked, brows furrowed with displeasure.

“He has been nothing but nice to me and he promised to make me breakfast,” Dani shrugged, holding out his phone which did have a text conversation with Jamie offering for Dani to come over for breakfast on their next rest day. Of course the human embodiment of joy had already made friends with Jamie while they were all busy sticking their feet in their mouths. That should not be a surprise.

“Yes you can still be friends with Jamie if he wants to be friends with you,” Isaac replied. Dani lit up like a Christmas tree and started typing on his phone straight away.

“The news got wind of your little meeting by the way,” Moe added.

“What?” Sam frowned, spinning on his heels to stare at Moe.

“Someone papped you and Colin with Jamie and managed to hunt him down in town this morning,” Moe held out his phone for Sam to take. The paparazzi photo was blurry but it was definitely the three of them on the street outside Ola’s with Jamie’s face in distinctive profile. Fuck. Jamie had been doing so well at staying under the radar and Sam’s idea of having a meeting had messed it all up for him. The photo came with an article and a quote from Jamie.

“I am delighted to be back in London and happy with how my life is at the moment. I have no intention of reaching out to Man City or AFC Richmond about a return to playing. I have enjoyed my time away and am asking for continued privacy at this time.”

That wasn’t too bad. It was a typical media statement but didn’t reveal anything about Jamie’s life. Hopefully the drama would die down soon.

“Do you think he will want to come back to football?” Declan asks.

“I dunno. Maybe,” Isaac sat down on his spot on the bench as he frowned at that thought. Sam also frowned. They were struggling for goals. Their defence was solid with the addition of Jan Maas and they were a Prem calibre team but they were going to be in a relegation scrap again unless they could find some goals somewhere. Jamie could score goals. If he had really changed his ways then it might not be a bad option for them. Surely he would want to play with his fiancé?

“Ted could ask?” Sam suggested. There was no harm in that was there?

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me Jamie. I know we didn't leave things on the best foot," Ted smiled softly as Jamie led him into the kitchen. The house was small, it was homey. Every wall was filled with pictures or mementos of a couple who seemed to be travelling the world. Jamie wasn't giving Ted any time to examine the photos but in all the ones that Ted saw there was one common theme. Jamie looked happy. And not just happy, far happier than he had ever been at Richmond or at Man City. 

"Jan bribed me. He knows I'll do anything for proper seaside fish and chips now that I'm not on a meal plan or abroad," Jamie shrugged. Compared to the rest of the house the kitchen was all clean lines and white surfaces. It was kitted out with everything a chef could desire but Jamie was ignoring all that in favour of the kettle. 

"Still hate tea?" Jamie asks as two mugs clanked onto the counter. 

"If it's still murky brown sewer water than I still would rather not," Ted chuckled, settling onto one of the stools around the sleek kitchen island. 

"Coffee then," Jamie nodded with a small smile. The kettle started to whir as Jamie dropped a tea bag into one mug and scooped coffee into the other. He turned and leant against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. "So what did you want to talk about?" Jamie asked, perfectly manicured eyebrows raised. 

"Some of the lads let me know that we shouldn't hold someone's past against them or look gift horses in the mouth even if they come in the form of very tall dutchmen," Ted stated. Jamie continued to look cautious. "I'm going to be honest with you. We're struggling to score goals with season. Dani is trying his little heart out but the dream of two aces is still evading us. We're going to look in the transfer window but I have been authorised to ask you first," he explained. Jamie just stared for a moment, blinking slowly as the cogs whirled in his head. The kettle clicked and Jamie silently made the drinks, sliding Ted his coffee. 

"You want me to come back and play for Richmond?" Jamie questioned so quiet that Ted's breathing was nearly louder. 

"Yes, I think you'd bring something amazing to this team and I wanted to offer you another shot," Ted moulded his face into his most reassuring look. Jamie blinked again, and then started to laugh. 

Ted's brain short circuited as Jamie bent double laughing. He had prepared to convince Jamie, he had prepared for Jamie to be angry for them sending him away, but he hadn't prepared for the proposal to be laughed at. He didn't know what to do. "Shit, I'm sorry. Not trying to be rude swear down," Jamie coughed out between peals of laughter. "I just didn't see that coming," he wheezed. 

"The team decided on this. So you don't need to worry about being alienated," Ted stated, falling back on his prepared speech in his confusion. That nearly set Jamie off again. 

"No, no I'm sorry. I'm not coming back," Jamie grinned, straightening up and holding his side like he had given himself a stitch. “I’m never coming back to football,” he added. Ted stared. He was expecting some sign in Jamie’s face that this was a tough decision or that he was trying to be strong. Ted didn’t know why he thought he could read Jamie, he had never been able to do it in the past. Every interaction with Jamie had been a fumbling mess in the grand scheme of both of their lives. Yet as he looked into Jamie’s eyes, for perhaps a moment too long, he couldn’t see any sign of doubt or hesitation. Jamie looked at peace. He looked like he did in all of those photos that Ted had walked past.

“Why?” Ted muttered, the question slipping out of his lips before he caught it in his filter.

“I wasn’t happy,” Jamie shrugged. “I realised that when you sent me back to Man City. The dread I felt before every match, the joy of scoring goals was nowhere near enough to compensate for it. I was running on fumes, addicted to the high of scoring and the positive attention it gave me,” Jamie rambled. Ted felt like he had uncorked something that Jamie had been holding inside himself for so long. He didn’t get it but he owed Jamie to let him unload it. “Back at Man City that wasn’t going to happen. Pep didn’t want me in his line up. He only put me into that last match to try and fuck with you lot. There was nothing to look forward to there anymore. So I left,” Jamie continued. He dragged a tired hand down his face and groaned. “It was only when my life didn’t revolve around kicking a ball around any more I realised how free I felt. Being in Amsterdam, I felt like me for the first time in a very long time, since I went there for the first time at fourteen really. I didn’t even want to come back to England at all but Jan couldn’t turn down a Premier League opportunity,” he tutted.

Ted sipped his coffee. There was so much he could say; so many Ted-isms flew through his head to try and sooth his former player but they died on his tongue as he looked up at Jamie. Jamie looked at ease. There was nothing Ted needed to say to make Jamie feel better about quitting the thing that Ted believed was his life because Jamie looked better. He looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. There was barely a trace of the young man who was hunched up in the Richmond treatment room being berated by his father. Jamie Tartt had grown up and taken his life by the horns to make it his. Who was Ted to tell him what he needed? Ted coached him for less than a year, and even then it wasn’t really coaching. Ted didn’t know Jamie Tartt anymore and with every moment he wondered whether he ever did.

“You really love him then?”

Jamie looked up surprised at the direction Ted had taken the conversation but after one long second, his eyes widened and his smile lit up. It was radiant beaming grin with a soft pink flush of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “He’s everything,” Jamie replied, his voice soft and tender.

“How did you meet?”

Jamie paused, his head tilting like a confused puppy. But whatever he was looking for in Ted’s expression he found and the smile grew. “Well I was struggling with what to do with myself so was just travelling around Europe. I had enough money stashed even after buying myself out of my contract so I didn’t need to work. I was so fucking bored so I became an English language tour guide …”

Jamie had been perfectly content with how things were before the fateful Ajax friendly. He was tactically avoiding anyone that might link him to former AFC Richmond superstar and football sex icon Jamie Tartt. He wasn’t hiding, Jamie didn’t hide; he was just tactically disappearing whenever there was a chance of someone being there. He should have known that going to Amsterdam with the team was too risky. Jamie just missed Jan’s family and his Amsterdam friends; it was great idea to go back and spend the night there before returning to London. He hadn’t anticipated Colin and now everyone knew that he was back in town and how he had changed. Jamie wasn’t ashamed of who he had become on his sabbatical. Being with Jan and the Maas family and away from the limelight and the pressures had been the reset that Jamie had desperately craved even if he never admitted it to himself. Jamie had taken the opportunity to reinvent himself and had run with it.

But now he was back in London, Jan was playing for Richmond; if Jamie didn’t think he was cursed before this then he was absolutely sure now. Someone that Jamie had wronged was into some witchy shit with the run of bad luck that had plagued him since the summer transfer window. Why Richmond of all teams? It all culminated in that most awkward of meals but Jamie had persevered and the team seemed to have decided that he was no longer their arch enemy, which admittedly was better for morale in the Maas-Tartt household.

“Jay, someone here to see you!” Carla yelled through the kitchen door. Jamie looked up, peeling his hands from the dough that was more like stress toy putty than anything edible now.

“Me?”

“No the other baker who’s name could be shortened down to Jay,” Carla tutted. Jamie rolled his eyes, peeling off his gloves and throwing them into the bin. He pushed open the door. There was a reason why Jamie never worked front of house. The café was just outside of Richmond and so the risk of being found by a player was too high. This was already how Keeley found him; damn his strawberry tarts, he knew they were her favourite. The London test bakery was built into the back of the shop meaning Jamie could provide what the shop needed and experiment. Simon did the same for the Manchester shop and the post orders.

“Jamie!”

“Oh fuck me,” Jamie groaned, pressing his palm against his forehead. “Hi Ted.”

“There you are Jamie. I told this lovely woman that we were acquaintances,” Ted beamed, stood holding a raspberry croissant in his hands proudly by the tills.

“It’s fine Carla,” Jamie waved off her look of concern and nodded for Ted to follow him in the back. “Why are you here?”

“I heard this was the best place in town to get nutritionist approved pastries,” Ted wandered through into the kitchen and whistled appreciatively at Jamie’s set up. Premier League money couldn’t buy you happiness but it could buy you two state of the art bakery kitchens.

“You don’t need approval from the nutritionist,” Jamie scoffed, pulling out a bench stool and patting it.

“Oh it’s never too late to start caring about your health,” Ted perched on the stool.

“I’m going to repeat my question Ted, why are you here?” Jamie huffed.

“Well after our little chat a few days ago, I thought about the offer I made you,” Ted hummed, nibbling on the croissant. With the first large bite he moaned and nodded appreciatively; Jamie flushed an embarrassed pink, Ted’s approval should not mean anything to Jamie but somehow it still did.

“I’m not coming back to football Ted,” Jamie slumped into the stool next to him.

“Oh I’m not asking you to. Well not properly anyway,” Ted slid an envelope along the counter. Jamie frowned, maintaining eye contact with Ted as he pulled the envelope towards him and opened it up.

“Lasso,” Jamie sighed warningly, dropping the VIP ticket to AFC Richmond’s next game onto the counter.

“It’s just an offer. You are here, surely you must be wanting to watch your man play. A guy like you. I can understand not wanting the pressure of playing anymore but you must miss the feel of watching a game at the stadium,” Ted replied.

“I can’t, what if I’m recognised,” Jamie murmured. He had resigned himself to enjoying Jan’s matches and Man City games and England games from the comfort of their home for the rest of his life.

“So what?”

“What do you mean so what?” Jamie squeaked.

“People recognise you? So what?” Ted repeated himself, still smiling that gormless little expression that made Jamie want to nut him. “The press do already know you are here and interacting with the boys.”

That was a fair point. His status in London had been revealed and the world hadn’t ended. He just made sure he was not running front of house and hired a couple more staff to help Carla out so that Jamie didn’t have to risk it anymore and started wearing a hat in the supermarket. No one had recognised him, or if they did they didn’t make it his problem. Everything was basically the same as it was before. Maybe he could spin going to a Richmond game as a sort of, soft launch. Slowly introducing himself back into the public eye while being able to set the narrative of why he was back and why he wasn’t going back to football. It could work. And he would be able to enjoy and cheer on his love in person. Jamie cursed under his breath. He hated it when Ted was right. “Ok fine,” Jamie muttered, grabbing the ticket and shoving it angrily into his apron pocket.

Ted’s face lit up even further with his eyebrows raising. “Excellent. Rebecca and Keeley will be there with you and so happy to see you,” Ted clapped his hands together as he preened with smugness.

“Just one game, don’t get too excited,” Jamie scolded.

“Oh of course. I do have something else for you too,” Ted slid another envelope towards him. Where was Ted keeping all of these dramatic reveals? “How would you feel about a partnership deal?” Ted asked.

Jamie frowned and opened up the documents. A contract. “You want me to be one of the official food partners of AFC Richmond?” Jamie’s jaw physically dropped.

“Of course we do. The boys have been painfully jealous of Jan being able to eat all those pastries and breakfast sandwiches without being told off by the nutritionists. Now they know where he’s getting them from, they’ve all started bringing breakfast in for themselves,” Ted chuckled. Jamie had noticed that he had looked through the little window from the kitchen at various points when they had just opened in a morning to see assorted greyhounds. He had thought they were trying to get a rare Jamie Tartt sighting; it hadn’t occurred to him that they were actually there for the food. Now it was Jamie’s turn to preen. As a kid all he had been told was that the only thing he was good for was football and it was hard not to internalise that. Then as he grew up all he was good at was football and getting his kit off. When he quit both of these things after Lust Conquers All, it had taken a lot of self-discovery to find what made him happy. Baking made him happy; but to hear from outsiders that he was really good at it filled him with a nice warm settled sensation. To hear from Ted that he was good at it was even better; somehow the coach still had sway over Jamie and his praise was worth the praise of ten others.

“What would this involve?” Jamie finally managed to choke out. He was accepting but he should be professional and think about the impact this would have on his business. It was currently a six person operation; two front of house, one over night baker, one morning shift baker, Carla who ran the place and Jamie who baked and experimented during the day. If they were going to start taking professional contracts then he was going to need to bring in more bakers specifically focused on that side of the business like Simon had his team for the mail orders. Was this kitchen big enough? Maybe he would need to buy a catering kitchen somewhere. And he would probably need an accounts manager to take that off Carla’s plate. Or take everything else of Carla’s plate and task her to this. There was just so much …

“Keeley put together the contract with the lawyers and wants to have a meeting with you about advertising requirements and sending some tasters for a focus group and the lads,” Ted’s voice cut through Jamie’s panic spiral allowing him to cling on to some level of composure and drag himself back to the surface. “But the summary would be providing some items for breakfasts in the Nelson Road cafes and providing sweet treats for both bars on game days. In return we’d plaster your name on adverts and in Nelson Road and give some opportunities for social media collaborations. But Miss Jones is a lot more capable at that than me. Your face and name can be kept out of it of course. It’ll just be us supporting a local business,” Ted smiled and thrust his hand towards Jamie. Jamie stared at it for a beat but Ted’s smile didn’t waver. This was a turning point, and Jamie really hoped it was in the right direction. One swift shake and the deal was sealed.

Jan is stretching in his usual position at the side of the box when the cheers seem to rise in intensity from all around The Racetrack. Colin has the ball at his feet at the centre circle waiting for the whistle to get them started. He was equally as confused. Jan straightens up at his hips and starts looking around. The roar was coming from one side of the stadium in particular and they seemed to be waving. Jan frowns at Isaac who is grinning. He taps his ear as if to say “listen you idiot” and so Jan does. He tries to tune out all of the noise. One tune cuts through them all. “Jamie Tartt doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo. Jamie Tartt doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo,” echoes around the stadium. Jan finds the smile coming to his face unbidden and his eyes scan the stadium looking for that very familiar face. He didn’t have to search for long. Jamie was up in the directors box. A Richmond shirt was stretched across his chest and he held his hand over his heart and the badge as he smiled. Jan grinned. He had been thinking for months about what it would have been like to play alongside his love. Jan had watched Jamie’s highlight reel when they first met, he was amazing and it had taken a few dates to understand how deeply unhappy Jamie had been in football. But that didn’t stop Jan from imagining Jamie in the Richmond Blue and Red, bouncing on the balls of his feet near the centre circle. However much he might want Jamie on the field alongside him, he wanted Jamie happy more. Jamie looked happy as he waved at the cheering crowd. Their eyes met and Jamie’s smile became a few shades brighter. He winked and Jan was pulled rapidly back down to earth. He had a job to do and it was even more important now he had someone to show off for. He had no idea how heart on his sleeve Jamie Tartt had been able to keep this a secret from him?

“Hey,” Isaac called all the team together to huddle. “Every match is important. But today Jan’s got his boy in the crowd. First football match watching him in red and blue yeah,” Isaac beamed and jeers from the lads caused Jan’s neck to start to flush red. “So it’s super important yeah!” Isaac increases his volume and passion and the rest of the team go right with him. He had surface level belief that the lads were not going to be assholes when he came out but their actions towards Jamie had not filled him with confidence. But they had been incredibly supportive of Jan’s identity as a gay man and Jamie’s as being bi even if they weren’t initially supportive about their relationship. Jan never thought he would be able to have this light hearted tensing from his team about his soon to be husband. He hadn’t been that upset about it but that didn’t mean he wasn’t glad to have it now.

“Let’s go fuck em up!” Isaac yelled and Jan screamed along with them. For Jamie.

They did fuck em up, and the press were waxing lyrical about the dutchman’s heroic defensive performance for the whole of the next day. Jamie read out every complimentary article as they laid in bed the next morning, beaming with pride. There was going to be a lot more additions to the scrapbook now. Jan had done it for him. Jamie couldn’t be out there on the pitch with him but he could carry a bit of Jamie’s spirit with him out onto the turf and that was good enough for him.

Part of Jamie’s deal between AFC Richmond and Tulip Tarts was that there would be social media stuff between the two and the lads doing some taste tasting for what they may want at the club. Jamie’s new staff had been working double shifts and Jamie hadn’t really slept in the last week. He needed to work on the new content, improve and widen his range of nutritionist approved pastries and cakes, streamline his recipes; there was just so much to do before the launch. Then the taste tasting content would be the first stuff they would see. Evers, one of Jamie’s new staff, was willing to be the face if they needed one which took a worry off Jamie’s plate. But his anxiety was still sky high, at near boiling as he fussed and planned and planned again.

“It’s going to work out,” Jan wrapped his arms around Jamie.

“I know, it’s just …” Jamie sighed.

Jan leant down to rest his head on top of Jamie’s, “no justs, it will be fine.”

Jamie drummed his fingers on the counter, all of his new recipe cards and images spread out on the table in front of him. “Is this stupid? This is stupid right. I shouldn’t have made that deal,” he groaned.

“It’s not stupid. You wanted to expand, do something different. There’s nothing stupid about that,” Jan whispered, giving Jamie a quick squeeze as his muscles tensed.

“This was a passion project, Simon’s passion project and now it is a business,” Jamie whined.

“You would not have said yes if you were not interested in doing it. You need to have faith in yourself,” Jan countered.

Jamie groaned again. “I hate when you are all logical.”

“I thought it was hot?” Jan chuckled, the shake of his chest vibrating through Jamie’s bones and knocking a few off his worries lose.

“Shut up,” Jamie rolled his eyes.

“Mate this space is mint!” Declan yelled, pulling Jamie in for a one armed hug as soon as he walked through the door. Jamie softly squeezed his old friend before parting with a chuckle. Keeley leant up against one of the counters nibbling on a matcha cannoli as the lads arrived, each greeting Jamie warmly. He looked tense, just as tense as the first time Keeley had wandered into his shop accidentally while looking for strawberry tarts. He had been shocked but had embraced her just like he was doing here; the twinge of awkwardness was right but it still hurt a little. Keeley thought she had known every little piece of Jamie Tartt; she had him wrapped around her finger and he didn’t keep secrets from her. Until they broke up, he disappeared to mainland Europe and came back with an almost husband. That had corrected her mistaken assumption. She had never thought about the future with Jamie; that was part of the appeal. They weren’t designed to last but he had burrowed under her skin.

But now, watching him with Jan … Keeley understood. She wasn’t supposed to be Jamie’s person, she would love to stay his friend now that he was back, but she wasn’t his answer. His answer came in the form of a hulking dutchman who was constantly in some form of contact with Jamie even as he was moving like a butterfly around the kitchen, never stopping in one place for longer than a moment to greet someone or to organise something. He was frantic and using his infectious energy to mask the obvious panic of having the ghosts from his past in his safe space. Every movement had a lingering touch, interlocked fingers, Jan stopping the job he had been tasked with to give Jamie a kiss on the top of the head. It was sweet, Keeley was having to stop herself from audibly cooing at the two of them.

The kitchen was full of noise and alive during the filming. Jamie was stood behind the camera, arms crossed over his chest and in serious need of a massage but the fact she could see that was only because Keeley knew him. To everyone else, he was watching the proceedings with a steely stare, impartial and uncaring. Evers was dealing well with the footballers chaos, making sure that the baking and taste testing side of the videos was working out well; despite the nervous looks to his boss who was glowering into middle distance. When he wasn’t needed on camera, Jan was stood behind Jamie, pulling the younger man to lean back into him. Jan took Jamie’s weight and also some of the weight from his shoulders. Jan whispered something that had Jamie’s crossed arms relaxing and a huff of laughter as he rolled his eyes. They were a unit. They moved as one. That was what meant to be together looked like.

Jamie’s authority in the kitchen cut through the shenanigans when the cameras were put away. All of the Greyhounds were put to work tidying apart from Jan who put the kettle on and lingered next to where Jamie was conducting the circus. Once the surfaces were cleaned down and the plates and bowls piled up next to the sink, that’s when Jamie got to work. He was in his element and the Greyhounds could only drag over stools and help Jan with the hot drinks as he baked. Dough was pulled out of drawers that the lads hadn’t even known was there.

“Does he need any …?” Sam asked and Jan shook his head.

“He needs to keep his hands busy to deal with the anxiety and you’d only get in the way,” he smiled softly. The source of the fond looks that Jan had been giving at nothing recently had been identified. That was his thinking of Jamie Tartt face and it was nauseatingly sweet. Sam had thought he had seen Jamie in his natural environment on a football pitch but as he was dancing around, balancing trays and dodging the core group of greyhounds that had stayed for the afterparty … this was Jamie in his element. It was like he was walking on water instead of tearing up the turf. It was confusing why Jamie was never coming back to football, or at least he said he was never coming back to football, but this did enlighten them as to what he would be giving up if he did.

“Why baking?” Sam then asked Jamie instead.

“That’s my step dad. I was looking for something to do when I left the game and he always loved baking and cooking. We started doing it over facetime and I am damn good at it,” Jamie explained. He dropped that set of dough into a bowl and into a drawer before clicking his fingers to Jan who pulled out a batch of cinnamon rolls from the oven he was leaning up against. Sam raised his eyebrows to Jamie who shrugged, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Jan told me that he had a group of hungry footballers who were jealous?” Jamie replied with a light chuckle.

“Oh fuck yes. These the nutritionist ones?” Isaac descended upon Jan leading a pack of hungry wolves behind him.

“Of course. Your coaches are present,” Jamie rolled his eyes.

“Is your step father in London now?” Ted asked.

“No him and mummy are up in Manchester. That’s where the main kitchen is,” Jamie explained.

“Maybe we should … you know sometime combine forces, my dad’s recipes and your step dad’s?” Sam suggested. Jamie’s face lit up. Since the awkward dinner at Ola’s, Sam and Jamie hadn’t been interacting. Things weren’t bad between them anymore but there wasn’t any real friendliness. Isaac and Colin had slotted back in, not as Jamie’s lackies but as his friends despite the tension between them and Jan. It wasn’t a surprise to the team but Jan was very protective over his fiancé. Jamie’s safety and happiness was his priority and it was hard to try and build bridges with Jamie’s guard dog looming ominously behind him. But Sam had been perfectly content avoiding Jamie, until he started being around more. That tactic was becoming less and less feasible by the day. It was time to build bridges and get to know the nice new Jamie.

“A least now you’ve all met we can stop with all the trying to suck up to my fiancé,” Jan mutters, leaning back up against the counter with his thigh brushing up against Jamie’s. Jamie froze in place, the next set of sticky dough dropping from his raised fingers as he stared at the table like it had just admitted a scandalous secret. Because Jan had inadvertently admitted a scandalous secret.

“What now?” Jamie asked, turning to stare at Jan with wide open eyes instead.

“Oh, remember the pottery and the book club and the air fryer,” Jan smirked. Colin’s heart dropped and he could see Sam’s eyes widen next to him.

“I do,” Jamie’s eyes narrowed, gesturing to the green mug with badly misformed footballs that sat on the counter next to him. Ok that was sweet. Sam didn’t know where his plate that he had painted had gone. It definitely wasn’t in circulation.

“Yes. All of those were efforts from the team to prove that they were sophisticated enough to meet my fiancé,” Jan turned to scan the expressions of all the mortified assembled footballers with a smile on his face. Inadvertently was the wrong word; Jan was very much shit stirring. He didn’t think that Jan had it in him. Everybody’s eyes moved from Jan to Jamie in sync, as if they were watching a tennis ball in this verbal tennis match, tense and waiting for his reaction. Jamie scraped the dough off his fingers, dropping it with a loud plop that made everyone jump. Then he turned round, leant against the counter and burst out laughing.

It took a long time to calm Jamie down. Every time he looked up at the ceiling and took a calming deep inhale, he would look down at them again and start laughing. Eventually, when Jamie threw out an arm for Jan to hold and Jan also started laughing, the dam was broken and Keeley came back into the kitchen to a hoard of giggling footballers and one bright red and crying with laughter ex-footballer. “I can’t believe you thought I was sophisticated,” Jamie wheezed as he clutched his chest with his free hand, the other still being clasped by Jan. “Smart, beautiful, an all round catch … yes absolutely but sophisticated!”

“It’s not our fault. We heard Jan saying that the team were fine and you should have some more trust in us to be responsible,” Colin pouted. That nearly set Jamie off again but he managed to keep hold of his flimsy control.

“He was meaning that I should trust you guys to not be assholes when we met again,” Jamie scoffed. “Which I do want to say, I told you so.” Jamie used the hand that was wrapped in Jan’s to poke his fiancé firmly in the chest.

“We are sorry about that,” Dani apologised even though he was the least guilty out of all of them.

Jamie waved it off with a chuckle, “no grudges. But it is just so funny that you thought pottery painting and book club was going to make up for it.” He descended into giggles again.

“Actually you would have really liked it,” Jan pressed a kiss to Jamie’s knuckles. “It was a,” Jan paused to think of the right word for a moment before smiling, “shit show.”

Tense laughter and nods rippled through the group and Jamie joined in. “Hell I might have even come if that museum trip had worked out,” Jamie smirked.

Jan shuddered, “never again.”

“I’m sorry, it’s not my fault I’m not allowed in the dinosaur exhibit anymore,” Jamie pouted.

“It very much is,” Jan shook his head.

“I think that’s a story we need to hear,” Keeley beamed.

“Well I want to start with I technically did nothing wrong …”

Once all the stories were done and the shorts were filmed. It was just Keeley and Jamie in the kitchen. Daniel and Kiera had gone with Jan and the rest of the Richmond crew to divide up the baked goods for them to take home with them and give them the clean versions of the personalised aprons which were going down well as little gifts if the squealing and yelling from the front of the shop was anything to go by. “You really don’t need to stay and help,” Jamie sighed, tucking a baking tray into the dishwasher.

“I know I don’t,” Keeley smiled, and passed him another. Cleaning up after baking was Jamie’s quiet space. It was a brilliant reflective moment with repetitive movement that allowed him to think. Jamie needed to move as he thought and washing up, moving around the kitchen meant that he could just operate on autopilot. The others who worked with him had learnt this was how Jamie operated early on and were more than happy to get out of there early and leave their boss to clean up. However with Keeley it was easy. Despite this not being like anything they did when they were dating, they slotted back into place like no time had passed at all and the silence was just as comforting as they existed in each other’s space. It was nice. Jamie had missed it. He didn’t love her anymore, in fact he wasn’t entirely sure that he ever did really, but he cared about her so damn much. She was his best friend at a time where he didn’t have anyone in his corner and he was so regretful that their break up had been so messy.

“I am sorry about how we left things,” Jamie eventually broke the silence.

“Jamie it’s …”

“No, Keels, sorry I need,” Jamie stammered. He needed to say his piece. He never thought he would have this opportunity to try and fix things between them but here they were. Jamie was back in the AFC Richmond sphere and in the mental space where he could face these demons. “I was really shitty to you and then I ran away before we ever really …”

“Jamie it’s fine,” Keeley successfully interrupted him that time. “We weren’t right for each other but we were good, weren’t we?” she asked.

Jamie nodded. “We just weren’t meant to be together,” he agreed.

“But friends right? I’ve missed you,” Keeley smiled, dabbing at her eyes as they started to well up.

“I’ve missed you too,” Jamie admitted, pulling her closer into his side and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Of course we’re friends,” he whispered.

“But you’ve got a much better beau now,” she nudged him the side and grinned.

“He’s better for me, you are wonderful,” Jamie blushed. “I don’t know what I did to deserve him,” he muttered.

“You don’t need to do things to deserve people being in your lives. You just need to be deserving of them sticking around. You and Jan, god you’re both so hot and perfect,” Keeley squeaked, squeezing Jamie’s arm.

“Don’t we know it,” Jamie smirked. “He’s good for me and I like to think that I’m good for him too.”

“So hot,” Keeley cooed and Jamie’s laughter echoed around the kitchen.

AFC Richmond Breaking News

@GreyhoundGossip

GUYS! GUYS! You’ll never guess the latest AFC Richmond drama????

Remember those recent shorts with that local bakery that Richmond are now working with … IT’S JAMIE TARTT. He owns it! OWNS IT! That’s where he disappeared to

You cannot tell me this isn’t #Tartt2Richmond build up!!

The texts from the greyhounds flooded into Jan’s phone as soon as news was leaked. It started as an unsubstantiated rumour but then all the people who saw Jamie at the café and had gone “no that can’t be Jamie Tartt” were appearing out of the woodwork realising it actually was. It was also at this point when the AFC Richmond players all started to realise that Dani was the only one with Jamie’s number; well that was peaceful while it lasted. Suddenly Jamie was back in the Greyhounds minus coaches group chat which unlocked a whole other series of feelings that Jamie was not in the correct place mentally to deal with. Therefore he did what he did best, smiled and pushed it all down into the bottomless pit of things he was going to deal with on his death bed. Along with that thing that was being added to the pit, the fact that everyone assumed that he would be pissed about the reveal was going in the pit. That was because he wasn’t pissed. It was confusing Jamie as much as it was everyone else. He should be pissed off that his very hard fought privacy was being violated; Jamie had spent every moment since Lust Conquers All trying to make sure that nobody knew where he was and what he was doing. Now that was all gone; everyone now knew where Jamie Tartt was and had an opinion on what he was doing. Jamie didn’t care, he wasn’t scared anymore. He was a thriving business owner. He had a wonderful partner. He had regular contact with his mum. Jamie Tartt was living, and he was not scared. The leap had been taken, what other steps were there to go?

There was one big step that Jamie had resigned himself to never completing. Jamie was not going back to being a professional footballer. He was so happy and even though he had accepted he would never play on the same pitch as his soon to be husband, he would not ruin his happiness for that.

But then he got the call from Ted.

“Hello and welcome back to the Channel 4 coverage of AFC Richmond’s first ever Stand Up to Cancer charity match. I have one of the biggest surprises of the team lists today with me now in Jamie Tartt. Now Jamie, I hope this is not rude but none of us were expecting to see you out here today?”

Jamie smiled, hands bunching in the bottom of his shirt. A familiar nervous habit that now was bunching up the pocket of his apron. “Hey, not one to miss an opportunity to show off am I?” he chuckled.

“What was it like receiving the call from Coach Lasso that he wanted you as part of his line up?”

“I was honoured. Ted and I, well let’s say we didn’t part on the greatest of terms,” Jamie laughed awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “And I thought me and football were done but when any old coach of yours asks you to lace up your boots for an amazing cause like this, there’s no way to say no.”

Ted’s call had come on a random Saturday night when Jamie was laid in bed with Jan watching old Doctor Who episodes. Jamie had been included in Ted’s regular positive affirmation messages since they had made up and Jamie had signed the advertising deal; but a phone call was odd.

“You should answer that,” Jan stated, looking down at the offending vibrating device in Jamie’s hands.

“Do I have to?” Jamie whined.

“He will not stop,” Jan countered.

“God I hate it when you are so logical,” Jamie groaned, throwing his head backwards.

“If that was the case you would not be marrying me,” Jan scoffed, tilting his head sceptically.

Jamie’s smile returned as he reached up to pull Jan’s head down. “Yeah I guess. I actually find it really sexy,” he chuckled, pressing his lips against Jan’s.

“Stop stalling,” Jan whispered, before deepening the kiss. Jamie’s fingers ran over the fuzz at the back of Jan’s neck, groaning as Jan pulled them closer. The phone stopped somewhere in the kiss but when it started vibrating in Jamie’s hand again, Jan released Jamie.

“What?” Jamie snapped, still panting and yanking air back into his lungs.

“Jamie Tartt, hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Ted’s voice echoed around the room as Jamie clicked it onto speaker. He had more important things to be doing with his hands.

“Nope,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around Jan and up under his shirt. Jan huffed in a breath through his nose and rolled his eyes but he didn’t move away from the contact.

“Excellent. I have another proposition. You know that charity match that we are doing with teams of current and past players recruited by myself and Coach Kent?” Ted asked.

“Yes, what do you want from me?”

“I want you to play on Team Lasso.”

Jamie tensed, his grip on Jan tightening as his brain blue screened.

“Christ Jamie,” Jan yelped as Jamie’s nails dug into his back.

“Sorry,” Jamie hissed, realising Jan into a more relaxed hold as he tried to wrap his brain around what Ted had just said.

“Hello Jan,” Ted chuckled.

“Good evening coach.”

“You want me to play?” Jamie squeaked.

“Hell to the yes I want you to play. See Roy being all Roy Kent knows all of the best players and so I’ve got to think out of the box and poach the better players before he gets his sticky fingers all over them,” Ted explained. Jamie didn’t really care about the details. Jan had told him about the game and Jamie had already committed to donating cupcakes as his contribution. But now Ted wanted him to play. He couldn’t … could he?

“I can’t,” Jamie blurted out. He couldn’t; he hadn’t played since the final game of Ted’s first season, he hadn’t stepped foot onto a pitch since then, he had been to one game since then. Even if he could get over the panic that washed over him, he would be rusty. He would be humiliated.

“I respect your boundaries Jamie but I do want to say that you deserve to have fun. We’ve had a lot of focus with the boys lately about football being a game. Yes it is The Beautiful Game and yes it does pay an unholy amount of money, but it is a game that you all loved as kids.”

Jan moved his hands to hold Jamie’s trembling form. “It’s just a little bit of fun. And I’m on Team Kent,” Jan whispered.  

“But what if …”

“You really think he would be at a pointless charity match?” Jan’s mouth was so close to Jamie’s ear he could feel each breath but it was comforting. This was just for them. He was right as well; if there was ever going to be a football match that was safe for him to attend then it would be this one. His anonymity had been thrown to the wind. What did he have to lose? His sanity, maybe. A few nights sleep, probably. The money required for an improvement to their home security system, absolutely. But the gains; Jamie would get to play football again without the stress, pain and lingering sense of doom that came every time he stepped out onto the grass. He would get to play on the same pitch as Jan.

“So sexy,” Jamie sighed, kissing Jan’s cheek. “Fine Ted,” he groaned.

“Oh blooming excellent,” Ted exclaimed in a mockery of queen English and Jamie was glad they were not in the same room or he would be tempted to smash the grin off Ted’s face. “I’ll send you all the details but the team I am putting together is the all stars. It will be a great fun time and you …”

“Bye Ted,” Jan shouted over him and hung up. Jamie sighed gratefully and slumped further into Jan’s embrace. “Enjoy it,” he ordered, pressing a kiss to Jamie’s hairline.

And Jamie was determined to enjoy it. He straightened out the orange shirt and held a hand over the greyhound over his heart just for a moment, taking it all in. Looking out over the Nelson Road pitch, full of assorted celebs and footballers and their families milling around and doing press, he took a deep breath in for eight. This had been the topic of a weeks worth of therapy sessions. Jamie hadn’t needed a therapist’s advice to quit football; as soon as he had run away in a panic he had known that it had been the right thing to do. He did however need Lily’s advice to return to England and to return to the Nelson Road pitch in his boots. The grass loomed in front of him, an imaginary threshold. Jamie hadn’t really enjoyed being a greyhound. He had enjoyed the attention and the positive press but existing in the Richmond sphere, he hadn’t had fun. Jan was though. Jan was an old man in a lanky footballer’s body and he didn’t get usual social interaction. Normal people just didn’t understand how to be around Jan and Jamie loved him for it, their social inadequacies fit together like a jigsaw. But here at Richmond, Jan was having fun and coming back from social events with stories about the shenanigans he had got involved with; he looked forward to team activities not just looking forward to coming home to a cup of herbal tea and a single player adventure game on the PlayStation afterwards. The Richmond boys were really good for him; and that was what had convinced Jamie to come out of his reclusive baking cave. The exhale rattled out of him. Jamie Tartt was not a coward. Despite that Jamie could not put boot to grass; his legs were on strike.

Suddenly Jamie stumbled forwards and nearly ended up face first on the turf.

“Oh fuck off,” he bit out, spinning around ready to fight someone only to end up face to face with his partner wearing a shit-eating grin.

“The grass did not eat you,” Jan smirked. Jamie bristled, his hackles rising.

“I hate you,” Jamie huffed. However the fact he was bouncing, literally vibrating within energy as he stood there on a football pitch with a crowd for the first time in two years. Lightning sparked in every nerve.

“Have fun, go play,” Jan stepped up next to him, cupped the back of his neck and gave Jamie another light push.

“Yeah, okay, yeah,” Jamie nodded, relishing the small touch that they were allowed in this place. He could do that. He could go play football.

Jamie felt alive as he jogged out of the tunnel to thunderous applause from the Nelson Road crowd. This was what living was. How he played didn’t matter. He could just have fun. He stood with Dani at his side as all the celebs, current and former footballers were announced to thunderous applause. The sun was beating down through wispy white clouds. Jamie’s face warmed and it wasn’t just because of the unrelenting sun. They all took a team photo and Jamie found the smile imprinted on his face, unfading no matter what else happened.

The game continued much in the same vein. Jamie was slow. His ankles were close to a mutiny with his lungs leading the way. He hadn’t thought that he was unfit; Jamie went out on some of Jan’s workouts and he ate healthily but compared with Dani’s blistering pace, Jamie was lagging behind. But he was grinning all the way. The turf under his feet felt like home, like he was flying. Spin moves taunted his opposition and each pass came with a ripple of applause. It was about forty minutes in when Jamie saw his moment. The Young Lions wing back had been caught out of position and was frantically chasing Dani back leaving Jamie slightly behind him but one on one with the keeper. Dani could easily have flipped the ball onto his left foot, cut inside and taken a worldie of a strike on himself but he kept up the blistering pace and case a side eyed grin to Jamie. Jamie poured everything he had into his legs and sprinted. He reached the spot just in time for Dani’s perfectly placed ball to connect with his toes, dribbling onwards. The hairs on the back of Jamie’s neck stood to attention. He had always been blessed with a second sense on a football pitch; he wasn’t smart enough or world wise enough to do well in school or know when to keep his mouth shut but football was different. He turned his head ever so slightly to get the moments warning. Jamie would know that footwork anywhere. He had helped coach that footwork. The instincts kicked in and as Jan flew past him with a little nudge shoulder to shoulder, Jamie took the momentum of the impact to chip the ball over Jan’s feet, spin and then blindly smash the ball towards the back of the net. Jamie knew the result of his strike before he saw it. His shoulder smarted as he toppled over and hit the turf but the roar of the crowd eased any discomfort. Jamie rolled over onto his back and grinned up at the blue sky. He had scored a goal, past David James, in front of a sell out crowd, and he felt nothing but peace and joy.

“Show off,” Jan’s sillohette blocked the sun above him.

“Don’t you know it,” Jamie stuck out his tongue as his chant washed over him from the crowd. Jan yanked Jamie up to his feet, giving Jamie’s hands a lingering squeeze. That was the closest form of affection they could get while so many people were watching.

“You’re glowing,” Jan whispered.

“I love you,” Jamie replied before Dani jumped on his back and the rest of Team Lasso were close to follow. Jamie’s cheeks hurt from the force of his smile. Football was fun again, and that was a dream that he never thought would come true.

It was cloudy when the day came around. Jamie sat on one of the plastic seats, jacket folded over his arm as he stared at the sky. If this was a TV show it would be sunny. There would be a soft breeze and it would be a perfect fourteen degrees and Jamie would be stood out there looking at the sky with a soft smile, sun kissed skin and the wind artfully tousling his hair. But it was grey. 

“Simon is looking for you.” 

Jamie startled but carried on looking at the sky. “Isn't there some sort of rule about seeing the groom before the wedding?” he questioned. 

“That is a bride. And I do not humour paranoia,” Jan huffed, folding himself into the far too small seat next to Jamie. “I never do not want to see you,” he added, the sweet sentiment dragging Jamie's eyes and mind down from the clouds. 

“Sappy bastard,” Jamie huffed but trying to will away the heat from the back of his neck was a losing battle. 

“That I am,” Jan chuckled, “why are you hiding in the stands?”

Jamie shrugged. The pitch at Nelson Road was a hive of activity as everything got set up for the big occasion. The trophy winning stand that had been rotting away in a cupboard has been spruced up by Will and decorated with a truly beautiful flower arch. It sat centre stage with a deep blue carpet running to it. Jamie would prefer to put his boots back on and stand on the grass like he was ready for a kick off not about to make the biggest decision of his life. The Richmond lads were all helping put out the chairs and Jamie could see Simon with his hands wrapped around his mummy’s trembling ones. She looked as nervous as he felt and a fond smile twitched at his lips. A deep breath and his shoulder relaxed enough to lean against Jan’s side and press their knees together. It's a good job Jan was a footballer as the seats in the stands were not designed with his long limbs in mind. 

“Are we doing the right thing?” Jamie asked quietly. 

“I'm nervous too,” Jan replied, surprising Jamie with both his candor and avoidance of the question. “I know I don't, I struggle with making my emotions visible, but I am nervous.”

“We could just run away,” Jamie offered, linking his fingers with Jan’s outstretched hand. “No one would blame us. Grab both of our mums and just go get married in our garden,” Jamie could hear the strain and squeak in his voice. 

“If that would make you happy then we could. But we’ve got everyone here. I want to be able to love you, openly, without having to skulk around anymore,” Jan pressed a kiss to Jamie’s temple. Jan didn’t ask for much. Jamie was a demanding partner; he always needed something whether it was new hair products or emotional reassurance for every decision he made. It had been draining for Jan to keep hiding who he really was from his teammates and Jamie felt a lot of guilt for that. He could do this for Jan. He could openly celebrate the love of his life, his person, in front of all the people that they cared about. He needed to stop acting like this was a hardship. Jamie fucking Tartt loved a party.

“We’re really doing this.”

Isaac hadn’t thought about Jamie’s wedding before he received the Save the Date card in his cubby. When you see a twenty three year old dating a famous model and doing cringy beer adverts at the prime of his life, you don’t think about settling down. No matter how close they were at Richmond, and Isaac was doubting how close they really were as he saw Jamie genuinely happy, Isaac knew there was an end date. Come the end of that season Jamie would go back up north and Isaac would stay in London. They would text a bit and then lose contact and hopefully see each other on the pitch some days. It was never designed to be a long term friendship. It was fun. So when Jamie disappeared from the world, Isaac didn’t really notice. It sounded harsh to even think it, but Isaac’s life didn’t change. Now he was at Jamie Tartt’s wedding and it was, nice. Jamie was stood up under a flower arch chatting with his soon to be mother in law and he was glowing. The make up team Keeley had brought with her along with the effortlessly styled cream linen suit helped but it was more in how he held himself. Jamie wasn’t that tall a player and he was skinny when he was at Richmond; since then he had bulked out and looked inches taller as the anvil that had been crushing him had been removed.

“Everyone please take your seats,” Jan’s little sister announced from the microphone on the stage. Isaac slid into his chair in the middle of Jamie’s side of the arrangement. Colin settled down next to him with the same shell shocked demeanour.

“Mate,” Colin sighed.

“I know,” Issac replied with a nod.

They didn’t want to get in any more trouble with the groom for even thinking how weird this was. Jan’s mum was conducting the service; Isaac hadn’t even known Jan was religious and still couldn’t tell you what type he was, but he had seen how happy Jan was with the weight of his secret gone too. Jan joined Jamie in front of the flower arch as the music started to play. Dani and Jamie’s step dad Simon on his side. Jan had his dad and his little sister at his. The parts in Dutch flew over Isaac’s head but the chuckles and teary smile from Jamie told him everything that he needed to know.

“You may kiss the groom,” Jan’s mum cheered.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Jamie exclaimed, earning raucous cheers from the assembled footballers as he yanked Jan’s lapels to pull his mouth down to Jamie’s level.

It wasn’t a long service but it was sweet. Both Isaac and Colin were doing their best to pretend their eyes weren’t misting up as their teammates past and present tied the knot. Once it was all wrapped up, the happy couple did their rounds, people headed into the lounge for food and then people started to trickle away.

“You’re really doing this,” Colin muttered, looking down at where Jan was staring at the crafted Instagram post in his drafts. The picture of the two of them kissing with the Nelson Road stands filling the rest of the frame behind them was beautiful and both of the grooms looked so happy. Keeley had sent them both a carefully crafted statement. They were waiting until people were leaving to post it, to make it less likely they would be mobbed that day.

“We are,” Jan smiled, looking up from the phone. His smile was soppy and sweet, the picture of post marital bliss. Colin nodded, scuffing his shoe on the turf. “Sit down,” Jan sighed, patting the grass next to him. “What’s wrong? You should be happy. It’s a wedding.”

“Did you always plan on coming out?” Colin dropped down onto the floor, crossing his legs underneath him.

“No,” Jan admitted with a half shrug. “Professional football being what it is I never thought too hard about it and when I fell in love with Jamie, coming out wasn’t on the table for him. But when we came back here Jamie started to regain his confidence and we realised what we had,” Jan explained.

“And that was?” Colin whispered, he was tearing up the turf between his legs a strand at the time. The methodical motion settled his nerves slightly, enough to be able to force words out of his tightening chest.

“An incredibly supportive family giving us an opportunity to live our life how we want to. It doesn’t matter what anyone out there says about us because we know that all of the people here today will help us.”

Colin could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to drop onto the massacred piece of turf between his legs. They did have an overwhelmingly supportive family. A family that would stand behind them no matter what secrets came out. Jamie’s mum and step father had been here crying as their son got married and warmly embracing Jan. Jan’s whole family had immediately treated Jamie like he was one of their own just because Jan loved him. Colin didn’t have that, he didn’t have the family in his corner.

“After a rough start, even after everything that happened between Jamie and the team, you all supported him as my partner because he made me happy. No matter his gender,” Jan added.

Colin’s head shot up. Oh … he wasn’t talking about family as in blood, he was talking about Family. Their team was a family wasn’t it?

“They’d be supportive of anyone else too.”

Now the tears did start, it was silent slow trickle but Jan was still blurring at the edges as Colin looked at him. “How did you know?”

“Colin, you found out about me because you saw my fiancé grinding on me in a gay bar. Firstly, you were in a very obviously gay bar. Secondly, your only complaint with that scene was the man who was very much touching my dick was a twat, not his gender. My gaydar isn’t great but it didn’t take much to work out,” Jan scoffed.

Ok that was fair.

“You really think …” Colin choked out through the tears.

“I think that when the time is right you will have everyone here in your corner,” Jan nodded. Colin rubbed at his eyes and tried to breathe deeply as he composed himself. “And hopefully we will have paved the way.”

“You really aren’t worried about what people will think?”

Jan shook his head. “I have everything I need. Those people don’t know me and the people who do know me love me knowing who I am. What strangers have to say, no matter how loud, has no impact on that,” he explained with a shrug and a smile.

Maassive shock as AFC Richmond defender revealed to be the one with Tartt’s heart

Last night, Instagram was alight with the first tweet in two years from former Man City footballer and Lust Conquers all contestant Jamie Tartt. Ever since his departure from the show, what happened to the future England star has been a constant topic of discussion. One moment he was living it up in the villa, the next there was nothing. The rumours resurfaced when he was spotted with AFC Richmond’s Sam Obisanya and Colin Hughes. Despite being seen with his ex-teammates, Jamie was adamant that a return to football wasn’t in his future. But if he wasn’t coming back into the limelight to play then why was it?

It took until the end of the season for that question to be answered when all of AFC Richmond posted pictures of themselves at a wedding on the turf of Nelson Road.

The Wedding of Jan Maas and Jamie Tartt.

The wedding was a secret beautiful ceremony with all of Jan’s AFC Richmond teammates and coaches in attendance along with some Man City players including Jamie’s former partner in crime Paddy O’Gara. It was successful conducted in secret and would have easily gone under the radar if the grooms had not posted about their nuptials all over their feeds.

Everyone knew that Jamie Tartt’s return to the public consciousness would come with some scandal but no one saw the first out gay player in the Premier League being revealed. For a long time, sports media have been speculating on who and when this landmark milestone would be achieved. The announcement of Blackpool’s Jake Daniels as professional English men’s football’s first out player since 1990 was thought to be paving the way and we assume that announcement led to this one. Jake Daniels has already shown his support to Jan Maas and others have leapt to his defence. Only time will tell what the reaction to this news will be.

Neither Jan Maas or Jamie Tartt were available to comment with AFC Richmond Media Director Keeley Jones putting out an announcement: “Jan and Jamie Maas appreciate the well wishes following their wedding this weekend. They are taking this opportunity to celebrate with family and friends and will not be giving interviews at this point.”

Only time will tell what effect this will have but we all knew that any return of Jamie Tartt would come with fireworks.