Peanutbaa



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    859
    Kudos:
    23,844
    Bookmarks:
    5,067
    Hits:
    112,630

    28 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

    They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

    It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

    Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    908
    Kudos:
    25,605
    Bookmarks:
    5,737
    Hits:
    170,831

    26 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The term, he’s told, is temporary retrograde amnesia. Ilya doesn’t need the direct translation to understand: he forgot things. Ten years of things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    542
    Kudos:
    18,012
    Bookmarks:
    3,932
    Hits:
    151,574

    22 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    A missing tooth. A standard hockey emergency.

    When a brutal elbow leaves Shane Hollander spitting blood on the ice, he lands immediately in the hands of the opposing team's dentist.

    Shane thinks the dentist saw a cavity. The dentist knows he saw a secret.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,893
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    631
    Kudos:
    15,214
    Bookmarks:
    2,529
    Hits:
    131,799

    22 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Or: the WAG Ilya thing.

    Words:
    6,523
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2,893

    15 Jan 2026