looks best on mobile (but desktop view is fine too :p)
not a native english speaker u.u
heed the tags! >:0
fic is based on the songs Call Your Mom and The Great Divide by Noah Kahan
there are some things that look clickable and are clickable. There are also some things that look clickable but arent clickable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (full list in end notes)
Entrepreneurs, it’s OK to say that you champion work ethic and merit over woke
“diversity hiring.”
It's OK to say that you don't give in to the woke mindset agenda. I only want
the best and most hardworking people on my team.
It's OK to have standards.
FW: Meeting Report Notes • Regulus, For Your Action
Screentime
Your screen time was up 40% last week, for an average of 6 hours 21 minutes a day.
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Conservation Influencer Announces New Non-Profit Organisation Two days ago · Witch Weekly via The Daily Prophet
The internet-famous Norwegian Ridgeback lizard conservationist, Quirinus Quirrell (@dungeontroll on TikTok and Instagram) had begun his own Non-Profit Conservation Organisation, The Green Mirror in a TikTok post last night.
In his 10 minute video, he announced that he will be working together with companies to help bring conservation and awareness efforts on a scale like no one has seen before.
Housing prices, rents increase across the nation Today · The Daily Prophet
Despite the Government’s core campaign initiative to ensure affordable housing, rent prices have increased 45% in the past five years. This leaves many making difficult choices in order to afford housing. In the city, landlords have begun renting out rooms crammed with three to five beds for exorbitant prices to keep up with demand.
Over 100 companies announce mass layoffs in the coming quarter
3 hours ago · The Daily Prophet
Financial experts have conflicting opinions. "These companies are using AI as a way to cut down their operational expenses to make their bottom lines look good.
If they can replace their workforce with automation, why wouldn't they?"
Lucius Malfoy
Available
Today 5:10 PM Regulus Need you to revamp Avery's deck for his presentation tomorrow. Please email by EOD. I'm working on my own deck now? I don't know what Avery's project is about. Just forwarded you the email with the account brief. We only need the deck by Monday. It shouldn't take you too long. Use ChatGPT if you have to. I won't. It's fine. Will send back by EOD. 👍 Today 6:17 PM Are you done? Almost. All his impressions calculations are wrong. Today 6:30 PM In your inbox. I'll be clocking out soon. Okay. Send in your deck by noon tomorrow. I know it's Saturday but we really need you to be a team player here. 👍
capitalism sucks
Today 5:54 PM Pandora Helloooooo? Where is everyone? 😤 Dorcas Almost there, traffic is awful. Evan 10 mins B wanted to pregame Dorcas We're getting dinner, not going to a club. Barty y shud i limit myself? Pandora we are just getting dinner?🤨 Barty sounds lik u hav a lack of imagination i need it to cleanse my brain from dealing with stupid customers all day clients dun actually know what they want. they say they hate my work and make me send variations only to pick the design i sent 2 weeks ago idiotsDorcas Ugh tell me about it. Sometimes I wonder why my clients hire a consultancy team if they don't want to follow our advice. Pandora We can talk more once you all are here!! 😤 Hurry up!! I'm hungry!! Barty Regulus where r u? Evan Regulus Dorcas Regulus RIP guys I think he's still at work Evan tf reg youre supposed to get off before us you dont get paid enough to work this much Dorcas Pandora I'm outside! Where are you? Pandora Got a table near the back! 💖 I see you! To your left Today 6:47 PMSorry. Just left the office.Avery is so incompetent, I don't know how he still has a job.Dorcas He's your coworker that we don't like right? Lol yes.Should be there in 20 if the train isn't late.You guys should eat first.Pandora Its okay, we'll wait 💖💖💖 Barty ordered a bunch of milkshakes, we'll be fine! 💖
Mother
Today 8:24 AM
When will you stop throwing this childish tantrum?
Do you not know how much your father and I have done for you?
How much we had sacrificed our lives for you?
I already have a son who is a disappointment, I do not need another.
Stop being a problem and come home.
ExploreFollowingFriendsFor You
+12k5k3kDislike8k
thesockiswet so tired all the time
"how do we be better?" idk let me know im so tired crashing out
History
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20 minutes ago
what is derealizationwww.google.com
looking through like a moviewww.google.com
hands dont feel realwww.google.com
my hands dont feel like my handswww.google.com
my hands are not minewww.google.com
nothing feels realwww.google.com
feel like looking through someone elsewww.google.com
sleep help nowwww.google.com
tired cant sleepwww.google.com
sirius black twitterwww.google.com
noah kahan great divide youtube 1 hourwww.google.com
Sirius@asiriusproblemJan 3, 2024
"the world is your oyster" im allergic to shellfish, try again
1011343590911011
9:17
Sat, Jan 11
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
Northen Attitude
Noah Kahan
1:102:20
Missed Alarm
Zoloft 8:00 am
News
Hogwarts' student banned from campus after A.I. generated news articles accuse her of
committing crimes years before she was born.
Hey. It's Lily.5:22 PM
Have you completed your French lesson today? Would be a lot cooler if you did.
TikTok
Check out the hottest new trends on the TikTok shop.
Diagon Alley Mobile
Start the new year on the right foot -
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Influencer's new non-profit announces collaboration with various tech giants Today· Witch Weekly via The Daily Prophet
Knights of Walpurgis, Snidget Platforms Inc., and Phoenix.com have all pledged to work together with the Green Mirror, a new non-profit organisation spearheaded by internet influencer, Quirinus Quirrell (@dungeontroll on Tiktok and Instagram) to aid the conservation of the Norwegian Ridgeback Lizards.
The Debt Problem: How Young People Accumulate So Much Debt 45 minutes ago · The Quibbler
As more youth enter the workforce, it is clear that they have an increased financial debt compared to their older counterparts. While local politicians are encouraging the youth to be wary of their spending, the underlying issue is far sinister. With a combination of credit cards to cover groceries and the increasing cost of basic expenses. The expenses borne by the youth far exceed those of previous generations.
How to protect your health in the workplace
6 hours ago · The Daily Prophet
In the past 3 months, there have been 8 stress-related deaths caused by the individual’s workplace in the country. Experts weigh in on steps you can take charge of your stress levels.
capitalism sucks
Today 9:20 PMDorcas Anyone want to hang out? The heats out again and they're only sending someone in the evening. Pandora 🙋♀️ me! the office called and all my students are sick with influenza so they're cancelling classes for the weekend Barty influenza? what is this? 1918? Pandora tiny kid germs are brutal 😔 Evan B and i can make it Barty since when?? Evan since im hungry and neither of us bought groceries yet I can make it around 1Need to send this deck out by 12Barty Regulus Evan shit b pulled out the capitalization Barty It's Satuday You don't work on Saturdays Why the fuck are you working? The client needs it by Monday 8amDidn't have the time to finish it yesterday, so I'm sending it out todayDorcas Didn't you say that you had to redo Avery's work for him yesterday ... yesBarty So because someone else fucked up, you have to work on the weekend? I bet they're not even paying you for it its just a deck and I'm almost done with it anywayBarty Irrelavant. It's the principle of the matter. You should just send in whatever you have since the deadline is so important to them. I am physically incapable of sending out subpar work Barty Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do Pandora Reg, its okay. Just do what you need to get done first. We'll still see you later, yeah? 💓💓💓 yeah, see you later
Lucius Malfoy
Offline
Today 10:45 AMDeck is in your inbox. Let me know if there's anything that needs to be changed.
Lucius Malfoy is out of office and may not respond.
Mother
Today 8:24 AM
Your father and I have done our best to raise you both as polite, responsible, and respectful
young men.
Sirius was old enough to understand the consequences of his choice when he
chose to leave this family. I have done nothing wrong. You do not get to
blame all of this on me.
Everything is just my fault isn't it? It's never Sirius' fault or your fault.
Just blame it on your mother because that's the trend these days isn't it?
I know that you have not contacted him either. Why would he even answer you?
He has made it clear that he would like nothing to do with you.
Come home before I send someone to fetch you.
ExploreFollowingFriendsFor You
+2k345521Dislike623
decato DAY 3 of learning to paint!
honestly working with watercolours is a lot harder than i thought it would be!
so so so fortunate that my family (especially my partner) for supporting all the
hobbies i've delved into based on a whim #howto #learningnewthings #fyp
moreless
11:17
Wed, Jan 22
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
Stick Season
Noah Kahan
1:153:02
Barty 10:10 AM
gooooooood i hate this client reg save me
Missed Alarm
Zoloft 8:00 am
234 Evacuated in Flooded Areas
Communities off the coast face the wettest January in 30 years.
Experts say that unpredictable weather events will be more frequent
as a result of rising temperatures.
System Update ready to install
A software update is available
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TikTok
Brighten Your Day. Check out what's trending on your FYP.
Unravelling The Consumer: A Look Into The Cruel Content Creation Cycle 8 hours ago · The Daily Prophet
Social media isn't all sunshine and cute puppies. Content creators aren't all smiles and get-ready-with-me's.
Content creators are forced to post regularly or be lost to the endless cycle of trial and error — waiting for the moment their carefully established audience turns their backs on them.
Government signs six additional deals with international tech and manufacturing giants 6 minutes ago · Daily Prophet
"We are extremely fortunate that these companies have chosen to invest in our people and communities," the Minister of Economy stated in his speech during the press conference. This initiative aims to generate jobs at least fifty-thousand jobs in the country and protect the nation against inflation.
Waste Colonialism: The Lie Behind Our Trash
2 days ago · The Quibbler
Last week, journalists from the Daily Prophet Asia have uncovered that the waste from recyling bins across Europe and North America have been found in Southeast Asian landfills. This begs the question: Why would we export our trash to developing nations?
The answer is simple— basic economics. Low labour costs paired with weaker currency exchange rates in developing countries have made the cost of processing recycling exponentially lower while our society is able to keep up the image of a greener society.
Pandora
Today 3:19 PMHeyooo would you be interested to help me teach on the 11th?i need someone to sub in for a class What happened to Xeno? he has a family thingyou dont have to do much, we'll be going over watercoloursyou're great with watercolours, the kids will love youits been ages since ive painted im rusty and you're probably better off finding someone else pleaseeee? we havent done art together in so long 🥺its a saturday afternoon! i'll send you the details later! fine tell Xeno he owes mei wont because you love me 🥺it'll be so fun! Love you too Dora ❤️❤️❤️
It is with a heavy heart that we have to inform you that your request for a promotion has been denied.
This decision was not made lightly - while you are an extremely valuable member of the team, we have taken your age and experience into account. We believe that you are an integral part of the team and it would be difficult to replace you.
We are here to support you in your current role and will do what we can to help you thrive.
If you have any more questions, please contact us via email or set a meeting during our office hours.
Thank you.
Sincerely, R. Lestrange Human Resources Manager
Staff Support Services Department
Knights of Walpurgis A BETTER TOMORROW, TODAY
capitalism sucks
Today 9:30 PMDorcas Anyone want to tag along to the book pop up? Pandora I'm down!! Evan Sure B also said yes Not this round. Sorry!Evan booooooooo ^^ from BPandora It's alright Reg! Next time? Okay
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sirius black twitterwww.google.com
melatonin gummies same day deliverywww.google.com
sleeping aid alternativeswww.google.com
how to stop ssri safelywww.google.com
ssri zoloftwww.google.com
what is zoloft www.google.com
what is ssriwww.google.com
clonazepam not workingwww.google.com
clonazepam help sleepwww.google.com
cant sleep with sleeping aidwww.google.com
clonazepam feels weirdwww.google.com
can i stop psych medicationwww.google.com
noah kahan great divide youtubewww.google.com
noah kahan great divide release date whenwww.google.com
noah kahan great divide spotifywww.google.com
watercolourswww.google.com
how to make time for art www.google.com
Mother
Today 6:24 AM
Your choice to deliberately disobey me has been disappointing.
I am asking the minimum of you, and yet you are unwilling to
listen to us, or worse, incapable of doing so. You are behaving
like a child. An adult would understand their responsibility to
their family.
You would rather be alone and live in squalor instead of being part of this family.
As your mother, I have the right to tell you when you are not
acting up to the standard we have raised you to.
Sirius@asiriusproblem4 days ago
endured sad crying people just for you @remus_jl
(i cried the whole time)
1011343590911011
14:23
VLOG | Reading children books to my boyfriend Ep 2 MoonyMan • 3 views • 12 minutes ago
32:23
Tony The Tiger: The Queer Analysis Gilderoy • 15k views • 10 days ago
5:57
The Great Divide [unreleased] - Noah Kahan Live yourblazingsun • 16.5k views • 1 week ago
11:37
Wed, Feb 5
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
Godlight
Noah Kahan
2:044:07
Floo10:10 AM
Hello REGULUS. This is Sarah from Floo Communications Inc.
Congratulations!
You have been randomly selected for our new trade in programme!
Trade in your device for 70% off your new phone.
Missed Alarm
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BREAKING NEWS
Snidget Platforms Inc. and 4 other apps confirm data stolen in major
data breach. More updates on the Daily Prophet App.
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"Weighted Blanket - Blue" still in your cart. Check out now.
⚠️ More XP Needed7:30 PM
You are in danger of dropping out of the Emerald league.
Worldwide Unemployment Crisis Looms Over Youth Jan 23 · The Daily Prophet
Gideon Prewett works three jobs - an Uber driver during the day, a bartender at night, and a freelance data analyst on the weekends.
He also has a Masters Degree in Computer Science. Prewett's case is far from out of the ordinary. Plenty of young people around the world
are struggling in a post-COVID world.
Knights Of Walpurgis pledges €1 million investment for non-profit environmental cause 4 hours ago · The Daily Prophet
Norwegian Ridgeback Lizards may not be the top priority for most, but to Tom Riddle, CEO of Knights of Walpurgis, it seems to be a worthwhile cause to support.
"[Quirrell's] enthusiasm for these lizards is infectious. It is only natural for everyone else to naturally fall in love with these lizards as well," said Tom Riddle, CEO and Founder of Knights of Walpurgis.
Rising Cost of Living: 'We are still fortunate' says local MP
10 minutes ago · The Daily Prophet
Cornelius Fudge, MP of Hogsmeade has addressed the concerns of his constituents regarding the rising cost of living. "We live in unprecedented times, but that does not mean that we are unable to live our lives as we always have."
"We simply must make adjustments - if you are unable to afford eating meat such as pork or chicken, perhaps it is the savvy choice to substitute it with eggs instead."
Tom Riddle
Knights of Walpurgis
Founder & Innovator
+ FOLLOW
The Myth About Right-Sizing
We had a team of 8 execs focused on business development. In the past six months, we have left half of them go. In the next six months, more will follow suit.
I do not see this as a sign that a company is doing poorly but rather as a sign of innovation and strength. How are we still able to keep up with our deliverables and expand our client base by twofold?
The answer? AI Execs.
Why have your employees take 2 days to make a presentation when it only takes AI 60 seconds?
With new technological advancements being made in the generative AI field everyday, we will be left behind if we fail to keep up.
In the coming weeks, we will be reevaluating our team and company structure in an effort to streamline the company. Those who are unaware may think that we are downsizing our company, but in reality we are right-sizing.
The future of work is being redefined at this moment and we must ensure that we have the right-sized workforce for our needs.
Are you ready to take the first step into the future? We are.
As you may know, the Knights of Walpurgis is undergoing a volatile period within our company.
In an effort to intergrate the latest technology into our workflow to increase efficiency and productivity,
we will begin streamlining our workforce.
However, please be assured that this will not affect our bottomline or our future goals.
Attached in this email is a document with all the updates and the 2025-2030 roadmap for our company.
In an additional effort to be a step ahead in the tech industry, all team members can opt into receiving their monthly financial compensation
in the form of non-fungible token (NFT) or a cryptocurrency of their choice.
Those who would like to opt into this initiative will also receive a small bonus as a symbol of our thanks.
We would like to thank you for your continued effort in this company and we hope to see a productive year ahead!
Sincerely, R. Lestrange Human Resources Manager
Staff Support Services Department
Knights of Walpurgis A BETTER TOMORROW, TODAY
12:13
Narnia: Exploring Childhood and What It Means To Grow Up MoonyMan • 5k views • 1 month ago
1:17
Call Your Mom - Noah Kahan (LIVE) velanavis • 15k views • 1 month ago
11:03
Growing Up & The Chronicles of Narnia Gilderoy • 100k view • 4 hours ago
Lucius Malfoy
Available
Today 2:56 PMRegulus will need you to come in this Saturday to rep Avery and I double booked this meeting and the summit Hi Lucius, I won't be available this Saturday as I have prior plans Regulus, this is a huge opportunity for both you and the company. I'm giving you this opportunity because I have faith in your skills.
How many other jobs would give an opportunity like this to someone of your background and experience?
I understand, but it is really last minute. Regulus I hope you know how much faith I have in you for this job I have a line of people emailing me everyday asking for an exec position like yours
and are willing to be paid internship rates
But I still choose to work with you because I believe in your skills This meeting is extremely important and I need someone I can trust to do this. Can I trust you Regulus? Or should I start looking for other people? Yes sir. Good. Will foward you the details
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Pandora
Today 3:10 AMHi DoraHellooooo How are you? 🌟Haven't seen you in foreverrrr I'm okayHow are you?Better now that you texted me :pWhat's going on? Its about this Saturday. I can't make it anymore :/Oh Okay What happened? Something came up at workOh that sucks Avery? YeahAnd you really can't make it? Its not that easyRight that's fine next time? Yes, next time. I promiseSure thing Regulus
Kwikspell Company
Project Manager Hogsmeade • 3 days ago • 101 applicants
✔ On-site✔ Full Time
4 out of 10 skills match: Proposal Writing...
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About the job
PROJECT MANAGER WANTED❗️❗️❗️
(Yes, you. The one who stays calm when everyone else is losing it.)
Look, we're not going to sugarcoat this - this job isn't for those looking for a cozy desk job.
This job is for people on the go and willing to rise up to the challenge! If you're not ready for
the grind then this job is not for you.
We need someone who is willing to be on the go and ready to go at all times depending on client requests.
Requirements:
Have a postgraduate degree in Project Management or related fields
Have at least 6 years experience in project management field
Great communication skills
Be willing to work on weekends and bank holidays
Able to work in a team and independantly
Able to take brainrot instructions and make it sound ✨professional✨
Able to lead a creative team and fufill client requests
Benefits:
A monthly salary, (duh) 🤣
Flexible working hours (come in early, leave early)
A cool office environment with a vibrant team 🕺💃
Friday night team building activities after work (work hard, play harder)😤
Think this is the job for you? Drop us an email today!
Dorcas
Today 5:19 PMYou cancelled on Dora?Today 5:45 PMSo are you going to reply me or are we both going to ignore the fact you're online? Today 6:35 PMsorry was busyyeah you seem to be pretty busy these daysso you cancelled on Dora? She was really looking forward to running the class with youSomething came up with work was there really no way to get out of it? its saturday there had to be somethingits a saturday afternoon! Dora was pretty upset over it, it was hard to get someone else
to cover at the last minute.
What's really going on Regulus?It's just work. Lot's to do. Right, work.Just next time let us know earlier if you have to bail?Yeah, of course. I already told her, but can you tell Dora I'm sorry again? Okay Reg.See you around?Yeah, see you around Cas.
Sirius@asiriusproblem3 hours ago
Sometimes I wonder how I lucked out with really smart friends and then I remember when James
tried to see how many peanuts he could shove up his nose when we were 19
101156101112
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r/relationshipswww.reddit.com
i think my friends are mad at mewww.google.com
bailing on a friendwww.google.com
how to tell if someone is mad at youwww.google.com
i think my friend is mad at mewww.google.com
job opportunity near mewww.google.com
how to make more moneywww.google.com
side income jobs low energywww.google.com
what to do if melatonin does not workwww.google.com
sleep helpwww.google.com
speed paint calmingwww.google.com
will AI replace my jobwww.google.com
how to futureproof yourselfwww.google.com
ExploreFollowingFriendsFor You
+30k15k7kDislike3k
ecstarryyy ruined mascara is temporary, noah kahan is forever im so emotional over this
like i dont think ill ever see anything more beautiful than this man #noahkahan #fyp #imdying
moreless
r/relationships
throwaway_idontknowwhathelp· 13 hours ago
I think my friends are mad at at me
I have been friends with the same group since we were in primary school.
One of my friends, P, asked me to help her with her Saturday job two weeks ago.
But on Friday (aka the day before), something came up and I had told her that I
wasn't able to make it. She didn't sound too happy about it over texts.
One of our other friends, M, texted me later saying that P was really upset
and that i should have planned better. I shouldn't have bailed like that.
I don't know what to do? I've already apologised and they both said it's fine but
they're probably still mad at me?
11 12 13
20
20 Comments sorted by Best
godofworms · 5 hours ago ...
Need some more context OP, did you have a good reason for bailing on her? (i.e. you were sick,
family emergency. etc?). what kind of work was it?
throwaway_idontknowwhathelp · 4 hours ago...
She is an children's art teacher. She asked me to substitute one of her co-teachers.
No, I didn't have an family or medical emergency like that. Just poor timing on my end.
cheese_mackaroni · 19 minutes ago ...
rippppppp i'm sorry OP but sounds like you were the asshole here and she does have the right to be upset about it.
i would be devastated if one of my friends bailed on me with no good reason. especially after they already
agreed to help me with something. you should do something to make it up to her.
VIEW All 20 COMMENTS
11:37
Monday, Feb 10
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
Pain is Cold Water - Live at Fenway Park
Noah Kahan
1:102:20
Suspected Spam10:10 AM
Hello! I am Anna. I have a job offer that may interest you.
Earn around €50 - €1000 per day with just 30 minutes of work from
the comfort of your home. Text your full name and copy of your ID. Thx.
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Team 3
Available
Today 9:36 AMLucius Good morning team As mentioned via email, we will be having a virtual asychronous meeting through this teams chat in lieu of our biweekly standing cadance meeting. First order of business, I would like to congratulate Avery for his recent promotion to Senior Executive. Avery Thank you. Am extremely grateful for this opportunity and the team's faith in me. Bellatrix Congratulations! Congratulations Lucius Next order of business, would like for us to circle back to the issues from last week
We hope this email finds you well. We would like to reach out to express our sincere appreciation for your application for the role within Borgin & Burke's.
After careful consideration, we have decided not to move forward with your application.
We would like to personally thank you for your application.
Should there be opportunities that align with your skills, we will reach out in the future.
Again, we would like to thank you for your application and we wish you all the best in your future endeavours.
Please do not hesitate to reach out again.
Sincerely,
Talent and Acquisition Team
4:15:23
Plagiarism: The Youtube Problem MoonyMan • 1.1M views • 12 hours ago
1:23
I'm Sorry Gilderoy • 100k views • 1 hour ago
13:43
Social Media Killed The Gallery Star: Being An Artist In The Digital Age The Quibbler • 33k views • 16 hours ago
Mother
Today 8:19 PM
Your father has taken ill. The doctors have said that it is stress related.
Your father worries for you.
Will you really doom our family even further?
ExploreFollowingFriendsFor You
+12k5k3kDislike8k
The Daily Prophet TikTok influencer, Quirinus Quirrell, and tech mogul Tom Riddle have been spotted
on a private yacht cruise off the coast of Brazil. Netizens are now calling for an inquiry
into the massive donations given to Quirrell's NPO from Riddle's company.
We are contacting you on behalf of Dr Slughorn. We understand your concern regarding your prescription.
However, we would strongly suggest giving this prescription more time to work. If you would like to venture into non-medical approaches, I have attached a catalogue for you to peruse on your own time. Do let me know if that would be a better approach for you.
We would like to remind you that your appointment is scheduled for 2 p.m. on the 17th of March 2025. Feel free to discuss more about this then.
If you have any feelings of distress before your appointment, please contact the mental health hotline or your nearest crisis center. You can also chat with Felix, our mental health AI-chatbot.
Ready to Serve,
Mind Healers Support Team
02:31
Thu, Feb 11
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
Pain is Cold Water - Live at Fenway Park
Noah Kahan
1:102:20
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BREAKING NEWS
It is 89 seconds to midnight on the Doomsday Clock according to experts. What does this mean?
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Mother
Today 8:15 AM Your cousin has informed us on the on-goings of your company. I hope you are done with your foolish naive gallavanting. We have been kind enough to give you your freedom. You are never going to be able to survive without us. You can start work at your father's company next week. This is non-negotiable. We're sending a car for you tomorrow.
As we all know, the world has changed a lot in the past few years. You may have noticed that a number of people are no longer with the company.
This is to ensure the long-term sustainability of the company.
We would like to preface this by saying that this will likely be a tough year ahead of us as we adapt to the new company structure.
We are highly appreciative of all of you who chose to stay here and help us grow even further.
We thank you once more and we look forward to growing this company together.
Sincerely, R. Lestrange Human Resources Manager
Staff Support Services Department
Knights of Walpurgis A BETTER TOMORROW, TODAY
hotline: hello thank you for calling the we care hotline
caller: hi, i can't keep doing this -
hotline: due to an increased number of calls, all our lines are occupied at the moment
caller: wh-what?
hotline: please hold while we connect you with a member of our team
caller: you've got to be kidding me
Lucius Malfoy
Available
Today 5:56 PMRegulus Is the report done? Need it on my desk first thing tomorrow
hotline: *Comforting hold music*
caller: please... i just need to talk to someone
hotline: *Comforting hold music*
caller: stupid idiot why did you think this was a good id- [mumbling]
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hotline: *Comforting hold music*
caller: I don't know What the fuck am i even doing
hotline: *Comforting hold music*
caller: fucking fuck i can't do this
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hotline: hello, thank you for calling. How are you doing?
caller: [sniffle] oh, hi.
hotline: So, what's going on?
caller: Oh um, it's just -
caller: I -
hotline: it's alright, take all the time you need.
caller: you know what? this was a mistake, i shouldn't have called -
hotline: sir, it's alright. why don't you tell me what is on your mind?
Caller: No, it's fine. this is stupid, I'm fine. Bye.
hotline: sir if you are feeling any kind of -
Caller: *CLICK*
Lucius Malfoy
Available
Today 5:56 PMRegulus Is the report done? Need it on my desk first thing tomorrow Today 6:25 PMRegulus? Answer me We will be talking about this in your next performance review.
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capitalism sucks
Today 6:30 PMHeyLet's go out today?Dorcas Sure What's the special occasion? Pandora Of course!! 💖💖 No special occasionJust wanted to get dinnerBarty Only if we're drinking i need to be wasted clients make me want to shoot myself Sure. spoons?Evan 🙄 i'll drive because im not going to get wasted ON A MONDAY Barty booooooooo live a little
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Today 1:23 AMDorcas Showered and in bed Evan just reached home and barty is passed out on the sofa lol also dropped reg off earlier, he's probably asleep now Pandora hehehe that was fun we should do this more oftennn <3 Evan aite im going to sleep nights Pandora goodnighttttttt Dorcas rest well! Today 1:53 AMgoodnight
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Barty
Regulus
Today 2:01 AM
hey barty
i love you
go the fuck to bed u drunk bastard
Not Delivered
Resend?
Reg?
Not Delivered
Resend?
what the fuck are you on?
Not Delivered
Resend?
you fucking idiot
Not Delivered
Resend?
shit no i didnt mean that
Not Delivered
Resend?Cannot resend.
6 Unanswered Calls as of 2:09 AM
Reg Bday 2k24
Today 2:10 AMSomething is wrong with RegEvan's driving us there nowDorcas you got the weird text too? Can anyone call him? Both Evan's and my phones can't get throughHe probably has it offDorcas Maybe its nothing? He's just happy drunk and his phone died? He was doing fine earlier no, something doesn't feel right he fucks off for weeks, spends cash like his inheritance came in, and now he's texting i love yous to everyone?and his phone is fucking disconnected?Dorcas okay, you're right. i think the drinks are getting to me i'll go to dora's and we'll get a cab update us when you're there
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Decline
reg bday 2k24
Today 2:30 AMEvan St. Mungo's Hospital B is riding in the ambulance i'll follow behind Dorcas what the fuck i'll go to dora's and we'll get a cab update us when you're thereToday 2:46 AMDorcas in the cab with dora Pandora is anyone there yet? Evan just parked. might get a fine but fuck it Barty where are you? they took him to the back, im waiting in emergencyEvan otw idiot doesnt talk to us for monthslooks like shit everytime we see himkeeps brushing us offDorcas theres no point beating yourself up over it what did the doctors say? Evan B's checking with the nurses now Dorcas okay we should be there in 15 the nurse wont tell me shit"family only"fucking fuckPandora do you think they're going to call... you know fuck didnt even think about thatToday 2:58 AMtheyre going to call his mumshe's still on his emergency contact from when he was a minorPandora what?????did you tell them not to?? it'll only make things worseEvan they said they have to call someone i'm calling siriusDorcas fuck how is that our only real option how do you have his number? not important rnPandora are we really sure we want to call him? reg hates himi mean this in the kindest way possible but i dont give a fuck about what
reg thinks right now
reg doesnt get a say in this
Sirius
Unknown Number
Remind Me
Message
Decline
Accept
There weren't many choices left to make.
Fuck off.
It's easier to be angry isn't it?
Get out of my head.
You could just talk.
Fuck you fuck you fuck you-
Okay.
Wait, no-
I-
Oh.
Did it hurt when you thought you were alone?
Fuck you too.
Just leave me alone.
Ah, not this time.
Sirius
RX
St. Mungo's Hospital
Patient name : Regulus Black
D.O.B : 26/06/1998
Patient number: 1998-020502
Date : 18/02/2025
Lorazepam - 10mg
Sig: 1 tablet PO qd with evening meal Lexapro - 15mg
Sig: 1 tablet PO qd with morning meal
Dispensing - 7 tabs
Refills - weekly
Prescriber's signature:
Poppy Pomfrey
Barty
Sirius
Today 3:10 PMHey, do you have Reggie's spare flat keys?so he's moved in then?Yeah, its easier for us to keep an eye on him this wayhe's being an insufferable about it isnt he?YeapHow is he?mostly the same, but his therapist said it'll take time, healing isnt a straight line and all thatJames and I are going to swing by his flat to clean up and pick up some of his thingsThe fridge was emptied out before we got there. We cleaned everything else.Oh, cheers thanksbut yeah, Ev and I can drop it by your place laterActually, can Rem pick it up from yoursDon't think its a good idea for him to see you all yetohokayrightthat's okayi'll send you the addressCheers, thanks BartyAnd don't take it personallyGetting him to do anything right now is like pulling teethHe's still a little fragileI'm sure he'll come around eventually. He just needs a little space now.right, i knowsee you in a bit👍
r/MentalHealthSupport
KillerBee · 16 hours ago
TIFU by calling my friend's brother
a couple of days ago i had to send my friend to the ER after an overdose.
the doctors didn't let us in because we aren't considered family.
he's on no contact with his parents so they were out of the question.
so i called his brother that he hasn't spoken to in... 14, 15 years?
he's out of the hospital and living with his brother now but he hasn't spoken to us in weeks.
i know we should give him space to heal but i can't help but wonder if we can ever talk to each other again.
he hates his brother, they never really got along. i don't know if i totally fucked over our relationship by calling his brother.
i was just so frustrated at the doctors not telling us anything. if i just waited, i wouldn't have had to call his brother
maybe i would still be in his life
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15 Comments sorted by Best
RobbingGraves · 14 hours ago ...
Hey, KillerBee. Sounds like an all-round fucked situation.
It seems like you really love your friend, enough to keep him alive,
even when you're all out of good options.
I think you've done the right thing, and done the best you can.
If he's living with his brother now, maybe it's not so bad?
KillerBee · 14 hours ago...
his brother said things are going badly now. i dont know if i should have done what i did
RobbingGraves · 13 hours ago...
If you hadn't called anyone, you might not have had a friend to save anymore.
If you love him as much as it seems like you do, maybe you’ll have to be selfless one more time
and realise a world with him alive and you alone is a better world than a one
where he doesn’t exist at all.
VIEW All 15 COMMENTS
Regulus
Journal Entry #1
I don't want to write this but my therapist is making me do it.
Sirius
Walburga (DO NOT ANSWER)
You unblocked this contact.Today 8:55 AMI'm only saying this politely because despite everything
Reg still cares for you.
If you have some semblance of care for him,
please stop calling him, stop texting him,
stop contacting him. He needs space and we both know that. Just, don't.
Regulus
Journal Entry #5
i don't know what to do now
Sirius
r/painting
padfooooot_ · Yesterday
What should I get as a present?
so i want to get some painting supplies for my little brother. he used to do a lot of watercolouring and wants to get back into it.
any recs on what i should get for him?
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6 Comments sorted by Best
enbyguou$_ · 12 hours ago ...
portable watercolor sets which are pretty cool and useful when you’re on the move.
for tools there are these brushes with a water reserve so you don’t have to have a cup of water nearby, also useful for when you’re on the go or want a quick sketch.
watercolors from Winsor & Newton are pretty popular, not cheap but widely liked i would say
those from Sennelier are a bit fancy and look like regular paint tubes so you want to collect them all, i would guess it’s a french brand
red_bean_paste · 9 hours ago...
that's such a sweet idea but artists are notoriously hard to shop for. maybe get him a gift card?
VIEW All 6 COMMENTS
Barty
Regulus
Today 8:02 PMEvan bought that cake from that bakery near Dora's today it's so sweet how the fuck do you eat this all the time
Sirius
Walburga (DO NOT ANSWER)
Today 10:20 AMI told you to stop calling him He is my son. I have the right to speak to him.
And we both know you have such a good track record speaking to your sons, right?
Today 7:25 AMYou cannot run from us forever And you can't run at all. How's the leg Wally?
Barty
Regulus
Today 3:13 PMDora managed to find a way to get paint all over Evan's car.
we live in a rainbow fever dream now
Regulus
Journal Entry #21
Cognitive Model Practice Situation Mother called me on my phone again. Sirius hung up on her. Actual Thought: She must hate me so much. I'm not a very good person.
I haven't been one for a while.
Feeling: Ashamed, Afraid, Overwhelmed, Angry Behaviour: - Answer her calls in the future - Look at my phone again Alternative Thought: I cannot control her feelings. Setting boundaries is not a bad thing.
Sirius means well. Feeling: Relaxed, Grateful Behaviour: - Leave her on read/unanswered - Let Sirius hold onto my phone for now
Sirius
Walburga (DO NOT ANSWER))
Today 9:15 AMWhere is he? Whomst? You know who I'm talking about, you stupid boy. Sorry, I only speak in stupidity. Better luck next time?
Barty
Regulus
Today 3:20 PMEvan tried eating mold again "If I eat around the bread mold, the mold won't hurt me" I'll let you know if we end up at clinic
Sirius
r/painting
padfooooot_ · 4 hours ago
What should I get as a present? [UPDATE]
a lot of people asked me for an update from my previous post. i decided to just go with the gift card idea which was
good because he spent 3 hours just looking at brushes and paper.
I told him about the first reddit post because he didn't believe i didn't buy a whole store and not just a gift card
(i have been told that buying a whole store is not the correct move in any situation). he said i could share his artwork here
it took him a better part of the day and my hairdryer but i think it looks very cool
he also said that its a copy of another painting but we can't find the original artist. if anyone knows
who the original artist is please please please comment it!!
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90 Comments sorted by Best
red_bean_paste · 4 hours ago...
was waiting for this update! really glad your brother is back to making art
vespeelira · 3 hours ago...
that's so sweet of you! the painting turned out really great too. (also hard agree for the hairdryer,
it cuts my waiting time by a lot but at the cost of my electricity bill)
jihnari · 2 hours ago ...
are we going to brush over the fact that op may have bought out entire art stores before
padfooooot_ · 2 hours ago...
it wasnt an art supply store, it was a bookstore and my bf was turning 25!
bra_thief · 1 hour ago...
may love like this hit me like a truck
milkmoss · 2 hours ago ...
The painting is really nice! Your brother should be really proud of himself.
padfooooot_ · 2 hours ago...
yeah, i'm proud of him too :)
VIEW All 90 COMMENTS
Walburga (DO NOT ANSWER)
Today 7:04 AMYou cannot run from us forever This is an automated response:
This phone number is no longer contactable. Please go far far away. You are a disgrace. And yet.Goodbye Walburga, may you have the life you deserve.You have blocked this contact. Tap to unblock.
Regulus
05:37
Mon, Mar 31
Playing on Regulus' iPhone
The Great Divide - Noah Kahan
Local File
1:102:20
You're on fire 🔥8:30 PM
Complete a French lesson to continue your 7 day streak going.
Screentime
Your screen time was down 20% last week, for an average of 1 hours 10 minutes a day.
*twerks sadly* has your irl gotten so bad that you start picking up random skills to be able to pass on that trauma on your blorbos via fanfic? haha...
PSA if you know physics and can yap about it for fanfic reasons, lemme know!!
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my very good friend who will not be named for allowing me to use their actual painting
for the last r/Painting post. love them so much
(BTW the painting is a copy and my friend has asked that if anyone recognises the original painter to
please let us know in the comments)