Work Text:
CRAZY DIRECTOR :)
Can we talk privately after the stage cleaning is finished?
Tsukasa’s heart skipped a beat as he read the text message. For no reason! It was only Rui, back to normal after resolving whatever had troubled him. The amount of stunts he’d added to their show just a few hours ago proved it, didn’t it…?
Tsukasa gulped and typed out a quick affirmative response, his finger trembling as he hit send.
“Tsukasa?”
“AAA!” He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden sound of Nene’s voice right beside him. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
She gave him an unimpressed look and held something out to him. “You were taking forever to get the broom so I brought it for you.”
He sighed and took the broom, gripping it tightly. “Thanks. Um… Nene?”
“What?” Nene replied, her tone flat.
“Is Rui okay?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you tell from earlier?”
Tsukasa gritted his teeth at the jab but ignored it. “Yes, well… I thought I could, but then he asked me to go talk with him after we’re done cleaning. Alone.”
Nene shrugged. “He probably just has something else he wants to tell you. No need to work up a sweat over it.”
Oh no! Was he visibly sweating over such a mundane issue? What would Rui think if he showed up like this later? Tsukasa wiped his forehead, trying to compose himself.
“Good luck with that.” Nene walked away, leaving him to stew over his worries alone.
He shook his head rapidly to cool himself down. Rolling it around in his mind over and over wouldn’t do him any good. The energy would be better spent polishing up their stage so it was ready for whatever stunt Rui threw at him next!
Perhaps that was what Rui wanted to discuss: their newly added stunts, or maybe even newer ones yet to be revealed. But if that were the case, why did he want to talk privately? Rui had never had a problem discussing such things with the whole troupe.
Nope. Tsukasa was beginning to fall into the rabbit hole that was Rui’s strange mind. Instead, he set to work on today’s tasks, starting with sweeping.
Before he knew it, the sun had begun to set. Nene and Emu were leaving to go home, which meant he would be alone at the Wonder Stage with Rui, whom he hadn’t seen since the end of practice. The thought put a weird feeling in his stomach. Ever since Rui texted him, he’d been feeling… nervous? And he surely had no reason to. He was a world future star, after all!
But Rui’s message… he had said “talk privately,” which held certain implications, suggesting that this conversation could be more personal. And that put butterflies in Tsukasa’s stomach.
Now that he thought about it, he suspected he knew exactly what Rui wanted to talk about.
“Byebye, Tsukasa-kun~!” Emu waved at him with her whole arm, drawing his attention out of his thoughts. “Tell Rui-kun byebye for me!”
That was odd. “You didn’t tell him yourself?” Tsukasa asked.
Emu shook her head, frowning. “I couldn’t find him anywhere…”
“She even looked in your guys’ dressing room,” Nene said, side-eyeing the girl beside her.
“I made sure to knock first!” Emu grinned proudly.
Tsukasa sighed, though a smile forced its way to his face. He hoped Emu would never change. “I suppose it’s fine since no one was in there… this time. Just don’t go in while we’re inside, okay?”
“Okay~!”
“I’ll tell Rui you said bye. I suppose I should try to put a stop to whatever shenanigans he’s up to now…”
“We’ll leave you to it then.” Nene, eager to go home, turned to head out, guiding Emu along by her shoulder.
“Have fun!” Emu waved back at Tsukasa again as they walked away.
When they were no more than tiny dots on the horizon, Tsukasa turned back towards the stage, hoisting himself up from the ground to sit on its edge. Once situated, he fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Rui’s number.
“What is that scoundrel doing,” he mumbled as he brought his phone up to his ear.
“Tsukasa-kun?”
What the?! That was unmistakably Rui’s voice, but it hadn’t come from Tsukasa’s phone. He checked just in case, and sure enough, his phone was still ringing. When he looked around, though, he found no one.
Rui giggled from wherever he was.
“Yes, yes, very funny,” Tsukasa deadpanned. “Where are you hiding?”
“Look up.”
The sight above sent Tsukasa’s heart racing. Rui, smiling innocently, leaned over the edge of the Wonder Stage roof, which, Tsukasa remembered belatedly, had no safety measures whatsoever. In his hurry to clamber to his feet, Tsukasa tumbled off the Wonder Stage and landed on the ground with a groan. A soft “oh” came from Rui, and when Tsukasa looked to where he previously stood, the director had disappeared.
Tsukasa groaned. “Man… Rui, you can’t do that,” he grumbled as he pushed himself upright and rolled out his shoulders. He seemed to have landed okay…
“My apologies, Tsukasa-kun. Are you alright?”
“EEE!” Tsukasa nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Rui’s voice suddenly beside him. “Oh my god! You can’t do that either!”
All traces of mischief had disappeared from Rui’s face, replaced by deeply etched concern as he knelt next to Tsukasa. “You didn’t hit your head again, did you?” Gentle but firm hands cupped Tsukasa’s cheeks, turning his face side to side. Rui’s fingertips were calloused but his palms felt softer than a feather, Tsukasa noted.
“I… n-no, I didn’t…” A sudden wave of bashfulness washed over Tsukasa. His heart, which had just started to slow, raced once more. Rui’s eyes looked especially beautiful up close…
Rui’s worry only deepened at Tsukasa's answer. His hands moved from Tsukasa’s face to his scalp, feeling for any trace of injury. “Are you sure? What day is it today?”
“It’s Saturday–”
“What time is it?
“It’s around five o'clock. Rui–”
“Can you–”
“RUI!” Tsukasa hadn’t meant to yell, but his patience ran thin. “I’m okay. I told you—I didn’t hit my head.”
Rui froze, wide-eyed, then slumped, his gaze averting. His hands left Tsukasa’s hair, balling up in his lap. “You did. I’m sorry.”
“... It’s okay.”
Tsukasa examined Rui’s guilt-ridden face. Whatever that was, it was unusual for his director. Had the accident with the zombie robot affected him more than Tsukasa realized? Not to mention the fact that Tsukasa had similarly fallen off the stage during practice a few days earlier, leading him to buy new, plushier mats. He hadn’t seen Rui’s face then, but he could only imagine the thoughts going through his director’s head. The new mats must not have been enough…
He almost reached for Rui’s hand but stopped himself. Surely that would be far too intimate! Instead, he settled for grasping Rui’s shoulder. “What was that? That wasn’t like you.”
Rui looked at Tsukasa’s hand on his shoulder, then at Tsukasa’s face. He seemed… shocked, for some reason, before he broke into a nervous smile. “You’re right, Tsukasa-kun, I don’t know what came over me. Please don’t worry about it.”
Tsukasa narrowed his eyes. His director was a marvelous actor; he’d known it from the moment he laid eyes on him. But his current effort to conceal his inner turmoil was the weakest Tsukasa had ever seen.
Rui wanted him to let it go. Tsukasa didn’t think he should.
“Come on. Let’s sit somewhere more comfortable.” Tsukasa stood up and dusted off his pants before extending his hand to Rui. When Rui accepted, Tsukasa pulled him to his feet with ease. His director didn’t immediately let go(?!), so Tsukasa led him over to the nearest bench where they sat down together. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I… um…” Rui’s grip on his hand tightened, almost painfully so. Why hadn’t he let go yet? Not that Tsukasa minded. “I’m not sure how to explain…”
“That’s okay,” Tsukasa nodded. “Take all the time you need to think. Or, if it’s too difficult, I could ask you some questions.”
Rui pondered for a moment, then shook his head. “Just give me a minute or so.” His eyes remained fixed on the spot where Tsukasa had fallen…
“Of course.”
Tsukasa hadn’t expected Rui to give in so easily. He’d been prepared for two or three more deflections, but somehow Rui had already caved.
This had to be about the robot accident. Why else would Rui panic, thinking he was hurt? Now, he just needed to convince his director that it would take a lot more than a fall to put him out of commission!
Except… Rui had already returned to assigning him the most daring stunts. He already knew what Tsukasa could handle. Something in that moment a few minutes ago reignited Rui’s fear, but Tsukasa couldn’t quite place his finger on neither the trigger nor what Rui was so scared of. Whatever it was, it ran deeper than simply injury.
Rui inhaled, and Tsukasa snapped to attention. “I’m sorry,” he began, his free hand nervously twirling his long lock of blue hair.
Tsukasa waited, but when Rui didn’t continue, he gently prompted, “For what?”
“For startling you earlier, and then not listening to you. And… for nearly getting you concussed with my robot.”
Ah. “Rui, that’s okay. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You will always have my utmost trust–”
“I know that. But…” Rui bit his lip.
“But what?”
“But some part of me still thinks you shouldn’t trust me so much.”
Tsukasa’s eyebrows shot up before he could conceal his shock. What was Rui saying?
“When I saw you unconscious, I was terrified. I thought, ‘Tsukasa-kun must have had enough of me now. Surely he’ll get rid of me.’ But you didn’t, and I was so relieved. It was like a second chance, so I felt I needed to dial back the show’s intensity… because I was scared to be abandoned again.”
“Rui…”
“I didn’t fully understand that at the time, though.” Rui turned his face away slightly, enough that Tsukasa could no longer see it. “So when you confronted me about the adjustments to the scene with the hidden room, I was confused. I had convinced myself it was for the betterment of our show, which I see now was a defense mechanism. I couldn’t understand why you were upset… because I thought I was doing what you would have wanted. I thought I was protecting you. But I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Rui.” Tsukasa gave his hand a soft, reassuring squeeze. “It’s alright. It was an accident, nothing more. I don’t blame you for what happened; it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re my director, and my dear friend. I’ve seen the lengths you go to ensure everyone’s safety. I know how much you care. One malfunction isn’t going to drive me away.”
Rui lowered his head, his voice barely above a whisper. Tsukasa had to strain to hear.
“It’s not alright…”
Tsukasa frowned. “Why not?”
A shuddering breath coursed throughout Rui’s frame. His voice trembled as he forced the words out. “I feel like–like such a horrible person–”
The word struck Tsukasa like a stake through the chest. Horrible. “Oh my god… Rui, why would you say that?”
The director sunk into himself, a stark contrast from his usual pristine posture. Even in the deepest focus tinkering away on machines, Rui never slouched.
How had Tsukasa not seen it? How had he missed just how much pain Rui had been carrying?
Rui let out a bitter, humorless laugh. “I’m surprised you don’t agree.”
Tsukasa bristled at the comment. “You shouldn’t be. I think you’re wonderful!”
“You were unconscious, possibly concussed because of me, and my first thought was about how I might be affected. What’s wrong with me?”
“Rui–”
“You were the one who was hurt, scared when the robot malfunctioned, and I made it all about me. I ruined the show you were so excited about. And I’m doing it again now—making it about me. I’m just... the worst. You want to go home, I’m sure. We don’t have to talk about this anymore right now. Or ever.”
Rui started to pull away, and Tsukasa’s chest tightened. He’s going to leave, feeling worse than before, Tsukasa thought in a panic. The familiar brush of calloused fingertips slipping from his hand was too much to bear, and without thinking, he shouted, gripping Rui’s soft palm with renewed conviction.
“NO! I don’t want to go home!”
Rui froze mid-motion, and Tsukasa’s heart raced, the desperate hope of a breakthrough thrumming in his chest. He had to get through to Rui this time. He had to.
“What do you want, then?” Rui asked, his voice dangerously low.
Tsukasa swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. He could do it. “I… want you to know that I can’t bear to see you like this.” Please stay. Give me a chance.
The heaviness lingered in the air, unspoken, as a light breeze stirred up dust around their feet. A pair of tall lamps near the entrance of the Wonder Stage grounds came alight with a buzz, and Tsukasa realized just how dark the sky had become, now deep indigo with faint pinpricks of stars.
A quiver of Rui’s shoulders drew Tsukasa’s attention back to his director. He wondered for a moment if Rui felt chilled from the night air before Rui’s soft voice broke the silence.
“Then don’t. You don’t deserve to. Go home, Tsukasa-kun.”
Tsukasa stamped his foot out of frustration. If Rui wasn’t going to choose to stay, then he’d just have to go with him! He looked at Rui to say as much, but—
Rui was already looking at him, startled by his sudden outburst. In the fleeting light, Tsukasa caught sight of a tear slipping from the corner of Rui’s eye before the director quickly turned his face the other way.
Oh.
He doesn’t want me to see him cry.
“Oh, Rui…” Tsukasa couldn’t stop himself from scooting closer.
Panicked, Rui wrenched out of Tsukasa’s grip, both of his hands flying to cover his face as he turned his whole body away from Tsukasa. “W-wait… please, don’t look at me…”
Tsukasa watched him, his heart breaking as Rui sniffled and swiped at his eyes. Reluctantly, he lowered his gaze to the ground. “I’m not,” Tsukasa whispered.
Now was Rui’s chance to leave. He was free from Tsukasa’s hold, his shell cracked, and tears now flowed freely. Yet, a whole minute passed, and Rui remained on the bench next to Tsukasa, still weeping softly into his hands. Why hadn’t he gone yet?
Was he giving Tsukasa a chance? Or was he simply too distraught to move?
Tsukasa risked a glance at Rui, as if even that much would cause the other to vanish instantly. “Rui… may I touch you? Is that okay?”
Rui stiffened, but after a long moment, gave a tiny nod. The amount of relief Tsukasa felt was like a weight taken off of his shoulders. He knew I was looking at him anyway, he thought absently.
“Okay. Just tell me if it’s too much and I’ll stop.” Tsukasa reached out, resting one hand between Rui’s shoulder blades, gently running it up and down his back. The stiffness drained from Rui’s body, a shaky sigh escaping his lips.
“Tsukasa…”
No honorific. Tsukasa pretended not to notice. “Yes?”
“It’s cold…”
Understanding dawned in Tsukasa’s mind. “It’s alright. Come here.”
With one swift motion, Rui buried his face in Tsukasa’s shoulder, one hand clutching Tsukasa’s cardigan where his own hand rested on Rui’s back. His other hand…
Rui’s other hand clung to Tsukasa’s hair like he was holding onto something precious, something he couldn’t bear to lose.
Tsukasa shouldn’t be feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Rui was overwhelmed with guilt and self-loathing, crying on him, and here Tsukasa was, overjoyed at how much Rui treasured him.
How selfish.
But at the same time, wasn’t it only human? A natural reaction? These feelings didn’t stop him from sympathizing with Rui, from wanting to comfort him, to make him smile again. Maybe they even made it easier.
Now he just needed Rui to understand that too.
“Rui, I don’t know if I have the words you need to hear right now, but I will try my best. So please… listen, okay?”
Rui nodded into Tsukasa’s shoulder, his fingers tightening on the fabric of Tsukasa’s cardigan. Tsukasa continued the gentle motion of his hand on Rui’s back, while his other hand moved up to stroke Rui’s hair. The strands parted easily for his fingers, just as soft as Rui’s hands were. He must have washed it recently; his hair always got greasy quickly after working with machinery–
No. Focus.
Tsukasa swallowed back the distractions. He didn’t have the luxury to lose focus, not when Rui needed him more than ever. Another pang of guilt struck Tsukasa for his selfishness, but it only strengthened his confidence in the words he was about to say.
“You are not a bad person. I’ve struggled with similar thoughts my whole life, so I want to share what I’ve learned. You can’t always control where your mind goes, especially during times of stress. That first thought, the one that feels wrong, is how you’ve been taught to think or feel. What you think after that, how you respond—that’s who you really are. And everything you’ve told me only confirms what I already knew: you’re a wonderful, amazing person, Rui. You have no reason to feel guilty. Nene, Emu, and I… we all love and care for you deeply. And you are deserving of it. Please, don’t beat yourself up anymore. There are so many things to love about you.”
Tsukasa waited, heart pounding in the silence, for Rui’s response. Ten agonizing seconds passed before Rui finally let out a soft huff—almost a laugh— and nuzzled his face further into Tsukasa’s shoulder.
“You’re too kind to me, Tsukasa-kun.”
Tsukasa sighed, his heart aching as he rested his cheek gently against the top of Rui’s head. “You’re not kind enough to yourself,” he whispered.
“...Perhaps you’re right.” Rui’s body finally relaxed in Tsukasa’s arms, his tense grip fading. His fingers, once clutching Tsukasa tightly, now traced light stars along his back and threaded through Tsukasa’s hair in a slow, sweet caress. “ Thank you .”
Oh thank fucking god. “I also want you to know that I will always be there for you. No matter the time or the distance, if you need me, just say the word and I’ll find you. Please come to me when you need help.”
Rui’s hand stilled in Tsukasa’s hair. “I want to be that person for you too… someone to rely on. Please allow me to repay you in the future.”
Tsukasa shook his head. Rui’s hair tickled as it brushed against his cheek. “You don’t owe me anything. You’ve helped me more than you know.”
Rui poked his back. “Just say yes.”
“Alright, alright,” Tsukasa laughed softly.
A strong gust swept past them, and Tsukasa suddenly remembered how late it had gotten. If they stayed out much longer in the cold, Rui might catch something, especially after crying. And Tsukasa would not have that!
“Hey, we should go. If you want, you could come over to my place…”
“Eh? But I’m comfortable right here,” Rui whined.
Tsukasa chuckled. “I’ll make you dinner. No vegetables. And maybe… you could stay the night, if you want.”
Rui sighed dramatically, but Tsukasa could feel his smile. “Alright, I suppose you’ve convinced me.”
Tsukasa’s heart swelled with joy. “Wonderful! You shall not be disappointed! I will cook you a dish worthy of a director such as yourself!”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Then let’s go!”
Rui did not budge.
“Rui? Let’s go? Um… what’s wrong?”
Rui gave a small shake of his head, still not pulling away.
“Oh dear… Don’t tell me you're embarrassed to show your face,” Tsukasa teased lightly, hoping to ease the tension.
But Rui stiffened at the remark.
“Ah– Rui, wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” Tsukasa hurried to correct himself. “It’s okay. I’m not going to judge you or anything, I promise.”
After a moment, Rui pulled away with a heavy sigh, his face gradually coming into the light. To say he looked like a mess was an understatement. His lips were chapped, his cheeks streaked with the residue of tears, and flushed almost as red as his runny nose. His makeup was completely ruined—red eyeliner smudged around his eyes, and whatever concealer had masked his dark circles was long gone. With his striking yellow eyes framed by dark, wet lashes, the look was haunting.
And yet, Tsukasa thought, he had never looked more beautiful.
Rui cleared his throat, awkwardly averting his gaze as the red across his cheeks deepened. “You’re staring… is it that bad?”
Tsukasa snapped out of his daze, heat now rushing to his own face. “No! No, I–I just… um.”
Rui glanced at him curiously, his expression unreadable.
Well. He had already dug his grave; he might as well burn a bridge before lying in it. “I… I couldn’t help but think… you’re beautiful.”
Rui frowned, then smiled sadly, his brow furrowed. “You don’t have to lie to me, Tsukasa-kun.”
Before Tsukasa could stop himself, his hand was cradling Rui’s cheek. “No. I would never lie to you. You’re so, incredibly beautiful.”
Rui gasped softly, his eyes widening ever so slightly, before abruptly standing and turning away. “We should go—it’s getting late.”
Tsukasa smiled, a warm flutter spreading through his chest. Seeing Rui flustered was a rare, precious sight. “Yes. Let’s go.”
The walk to Tsukasa’s house was quiet, but not awkward. Not between them, at least. Yet, Tsukasa’s mind swirled with uncontrollable thoughts, all centered on the person walking beside him.
I love you. I care for you more than you could ever know. I want to be by your side, until the end of time. I want to be the one who makes you smile, the one who holds a place in your heart.
I’m in love with you.
Oh no.
He couldn’t be realizing this now, not with such an intense urge to blurt everything out. This wasn’t the right moment—not after everything that had just happened.
As much as it pained Tsukasa, it would have to wait.
He was sure Rui loved him back, in some form. They had both made it clear to each other: they weren’t going anywhere. Their bond was unbreakable, and a simple confession wouldn’t sever it—not if Rui didn’t love Tsukasa the same way Tsukasa loved him.
So Tsukasa would wait. He’d tell Rui when the time was right. No matter how long it took.
Suddenly the quiet was broken by Rui stifling a sneeze into his elbow.
Tsukasa’s eyebrows shot up. “Did you just–”
Rui quickly shook his head, sniffling. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s just… you said ‘kya.’”
“Huh?”
Tsukasa pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. “You went like, ‘khh-yah!’”
Rui pouted, his face turning melodramatic. “How cruel! Tsukasa-kun is teasing me about how I sneeze. That’s not at all what it sounded like.”
Tsukasa smiled, amused by Rui’s theatrics. “I’m just saying it was funny.” It was cute. “But are you okay?”
“Mhm. It’s just a bit chilly…”
Tsukasa’s eyes lowered to Rui’s arms dotted with goosebumps. Wearing just a t-shirt when it was halfway through autumn… could Rui get any crazier?
“Here, take my cardigan. You’ll catch a cold like that.” Tsukasa shrugged off the garment, holding it out to his director.
“But, Tsukasa-kun…”
“Unlike you, I planned ahead and wore long sleeves. For exactly this reason.” When Rui still didn’t take it, Tsukasa draped the cardigan over his shoulders himself. Instead of slipping his arms through the sleeves, Rui held each end of the collar, wearing the cardigan like a cape. It was… unbelievably endearing.
“The reason being so you could give me your cardigan?” Rui smiled innocently, knowing that he would get a reaction.
React he did. “NO! The reason being that it gets cold after dark!” Tsukasa huffed and looked the other way to hide his growing blush.
Rui giggled. “Whatever you say, Tsukasa-kun.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just wear a jacket next time!”
“Thank you.” Rui’s voice softened, his usual lighthearted tone giving way to something quieter. Tsukasa glanced at him, noticing the shift in his expression—pensive, eyes cast down at the pavement. They were almost at Tsukasa’s street, so he waited until they rounded the corner before speaking up.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Huh? Oh, nothing.” Rui bit his lip for just a moment, one of his subtle nervous habits.
“You can tell me.”
“It’s really nothing. I just… I’m afraid I’ve gotten makeup all over your cardigan.” Rui’s gaze dropped again, avoiding Tsukasa’s. Tsukasa wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or something deeper, something like… shame.
“Rui, don’t even worry about that. I’ll wash it.” Tsukasa placed his hand on Rui’s shoulder, obscuring the stains from view.
“I can wash it for you…”
“No, I’ll wash it,” Tsukasa insisted.
Rui hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
Tsukasa immediately crossed his arms in an exaggerated "X." “No more sorry! None of that!”
Rui’s laugh rang out, light and genuine. “Alright, Emu-kun.”
Tsukasa looked down with mock horror. “Oh no, am I turning into Emu?!”
“I can already see your hair turning pink at the tips.”
“My—Rui!” Tsukasa’s voice was full of exasperation, though he couldn’t hide the smile pulling at his lips. “You know my hair’s been like this forever!”
Rui just giggled again, and Tsukasa took it as a signal that their playful banter had reached its end.
“Was there anything else on your mind? Anything at all?”
Rui shook his head. “I was just thinking… there’s so many things to love about you too.”
…No.
Did Rui just—
Surely he didn’t. Surely he didn’t mean it like that.
Right?
Not when Tsukasa’s house was in sight. Not when he was going to cook dinner for Rui, make sure he was comfortable, let him sleep in his bed while Tsukasa slept on the floor. Not after everything that had happened tonight.
And especially not when Tsukasa had just resolved to hold onto his feelings until the time was right.
There was no way.
There was no way!
So Tsukasa responded the only way he knew how.
“Hah hah hah! Of course there are! I’m a future star after all!”
He didn’t see the glimmer of disappointment that briefly crossed Rui’s face.
As they approached Tsukasa’s doorstep, Rui murmured something.
“What was that?” Tsukasa asked, pausing with his house key halfway to the lock.
“You’re already a star,” Rui said quietly. “To me.”
Tsukasa smiled, his fingers fumbling with the lock. “You flatter me, Rui.”
“I mean it.”
Tsukasa’s hand stilled. “... I know.”
Rui said nothing in response, so Tsukasa opened the door and held it open for Rui, letting the other enter first with a quiet “pardon the intrusion.” Rui slipped out of Tsukasa’s cardigan and folded it up with care, setting it on the side table near the entrance. Tsukasa caught him giving it a soft pat.
After they removed their shoes, Tsukasa took hold of Rui’s hand gently. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Rui stared at their joined hands, his expression oddly blank. “... Okay.”
Tsukasa hesitated, noticing Rui’s reaction, but quickly shrugged it off. Rui was probably just exhausted and hungry, after all. He led him to the bathroom, where Saki’s various makeup products cluttered the countertop.
Rui leaned closer to the mirror, his face falling. “Oh dear… I look like a crime scene.”
“A beautiful crime scene,” Tsukasa corrected, locating makeup removal wipes near the corner of the sink and tugging one out of the package.
Instead of brightening as Tsukasa had hoped, the director just sighed. “You keep saying that.”
Tsukasa frowned. “Because it’s true. I wouldn’t lie to your face, Rui.”
Rui’s shoulders slumped even further. “I know that.”
“Do you truly think you’re ugly?”
Rui’s face scrunched up in conflict, and Tsukasa shouldn’t have found it as cute as he did. “Not quite ugly… more like, bizarre. Or freakish. Though I suppose those are all the same to most people.”
Tsukasa cupped Rui’s cheek, gently turning his face so their eyes met instead of Rui’s reflection. “What most people think doesn’t matter. I won’t deny that you are a bit bizarre—but you’re not ugly, and you’re certainly not a freak. That bizarreness is part of your charm, even if I pretend it annoys me sometimes.”
Rui smiled, genuinely before it shifted into a teasing smirk. “I knew you were secretly fond of it.”
Tsukasa rolled his eyes but smiled back. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fond of you, actually. I hope that wasn’t too much of a secret.”
He expected Rui to fire back with another quip, but instead, Rui’s eyes drifted aside, his cheeks coloring pink. “... No, it wasn’t…”
Tsukasa’s chest warmed at the reaction, realizing Rui might not know how to handle straight-up affection. He’d have to remember this—it would be hard for Rui to launch him from a cannon if he was too flustered to plan anything!
But for now, he held back. “Alright, let’s clean up this ‘crime scene,’” Tsukasa whispered, holding up the makeup wipe. “Close your eyes.”
Rui’s blush darkened. It seemed Tsukasa unintentionally flustered him further. “Wait, I can do that myself—”
“I’d like to,” Tsukasa replied quietly. “Please. If that’s okay?”
Rui inhaled sharply before nodding and closing his eyes, obedient to Tsukasa’s request. Tsukasa’s heart raced at the sight—he wished he could capture the soft, unguarded expression on Rui’s face.
“Alright. I’ll be careful. Tell me if I hurt you.”
Rui gave a slight shake of his head, a faint smile on his lips. “Don’t be ridiculous, Tsukasa-kun. You could never hurt me.”
Oh.
Only then did Tsukasa realize his hand was still holding Rui’s cheek—and Rui had simply… let him. Warmth flooded his chest as his thoughts spiraled.
I love you. I’ll protect you forever. No harm will come your way so long as I can help it. Whatever you need, I’ll take care of it. I love you so much. I love yo–
“Tsukasa-kun? Is everything okay?”
The sudden question jolted him out of his reverie, and he nearly dropped the makeup wipe. “Ah— yes, everything’s fine. Just… got lost in thought for a moment.” He brought the wipe to Rui’s left eye, wincing himself when Rui flinched at the sudden cold touch. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s alright. Thinking about anything in particular?”
Tsukasa shook his head instinctively, then remembered Rui couldn’t see him. He began gently dabbing away at the mess of makeup. “No, not really.”
“Are you sure? You’ve… seemed lost in thought a lot tonight. You can tell me anything, you know.”
His hand stilled on Rui’s face, the pause betraying him.
“What is it?” Rui asked with a frown.
Tsukasa sighed. “It’s nothing, really. Nothing I can’t tell you… but just—” he hesitated, “it’s not the right time.”
Rui bit his lip, knowing full well where Tsukasa’s mind had drifted. “Tsukasa-kun, what we talked about at the park doesn’t matter right now. You can—”
“It always matters.”
Rui’s brow furrowed at the firmness in Tsukasa’s voice, though his eyes remained shut, leaving his face open and unguarded. Tsukasa’s expression softened, and he suddenly realized how protective he sounded. But before he could say anything, Rui continued, his tone softer still. “You’re right. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m saying that what happened doesn’t negate your feelings or your needs in this moment. I’m okay now. Really.”
As Tsukasa switched the makeup wipe to his left hand, he let his fingers linger on Rui's cheek. He thought carefully, trying to explain without giving everything away. “I… I know. But it’s just not the right time. I promise it’s nothing upsetting, so please wait for me, okay?”
It was just enough, as the crease in Rui’s brow disappeared. “Of course. I’m sorry for pushing.”
Tsukasa clicked his tongue, lightly swatting Rui’s nose with the wipe. “We said no more sorry!”
That earned him a soft laugh from Rui. “That’s right. Then… my apologies?”
“That still counts!”
They fell into a comfortable silence as Tsukasa finished wiping off the last traces of makeup. Once he was sure it was all gone, he gently tilted Rui’s face from side to side, inspecting his handiwork.
“I hereby declare you free of any and all crime scenes!” Tsukasa announced proudly.
Rui’s eyes fluttered open, revealing dazzling yellow. “Are you sure about that?”
Tsukasa let out a dramatic sigh. “Alright, what did you bring into my house this time?”
“Don’t worry about it~”
Much later, after dinner and a pirated movie at Rui’s insistence, Tsukasa found himself in a standoff in the middle of his bedroom against his director.
“I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” Rui stood firm, arms crossed and glaring. If they hadn’t been arguing over something so ridiculous, it might’ve actually stung a little.
“You’re the guest! I’m not letting you sleep on the floor!”
“But, Tsukasa-kun, I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re in such discomfort!” Rui's expression softened into a pout, but Tsukasa wasn't fooled. He knew Rui’s tactics too well to fall for them now!
“Discomfort? I won’t be in any discomfort! Our futon is very comfortable. I won’t even feel the floor!” Tsukasa proclaimed triumphantly.
“Then surely you should have no issue with me sleeping in it. Futons are meant for guests, after all.”
…How dare he use facts against him! With no comeback, Tsukasa’s gaze landed on the pillows neatly arranged on his bed. On pure impulse, he grabbed one and whacked Rui with it.
“Agh! Tsukasa-kun!” Rui shielded his head with his arms, but not before Tsukasa caught a glimpse of a smile.
He continued with a torrent of blows. “Take that!”
After tanking a few hits, Rui took hold of Tsukasa’s pillow and wrestled it away from him, but instead of taking his chance for payback, he held it up like a shield. “Mercy, Tsukasa-kun, I beg you!”
Tsukasa eyed his bed, snatching up two more pillows as he took an exaggerated battle stance. “Mercy? Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves!”
Rui, ever the dramatist, laid down on the bed, hugging his pillow to his chest with one hand while the back of his other hand draped over his forehead like a swooning damsel. “Oh, poor, helpless me… Tsukasa-kun refuses to relent even though I only have his best interest in mind…”
“Helpless? I think not! Not with an arsenal of pillows at your disposal!” Tsukasa retorted, preparing to strike again.
Rui shook his head, pressing his pillow closer. “I could never use such barbaric methods against one whom I hold so dear.”
Tsukasa froze mid-swing, caught off-guard. Was that really how Rui felt, or was this just part of the character he’d started playing?
“Oh? Have I finally swayed you?” Rui looked up at him imploringly, and Tsukasa couldn’t help but play along, even as he felt that strange flutter in his chest.
“I wasn’t aware you held me in such high regard,” Tsukasa said, raising a brow in mock intrigue.
“I do… But alas, my feelings are unrequited!”
Feelings?! Where exactly was Rui going with this?
“What… what feelings might those be?” Tsukasa stammered, the carefully crafted persona slipping as his voice softened. If this game continued any longer, he might say something he’d regret.
But instead of answering, Rui let the playful spark fade, rolling over away from Tsukasa and hugging his pillow with both arms. “That was fun, Tsukasa-kun,” he said, his voice suddenly flat. “But we really should go to bed.”
Relieved but also concerned, Tsukasa forced a laugh. “Since when do you go to bed before two A.M.?”
Rui’s pout returned as he sat up, lured back by Tsukasa’s joking tone. “Am I not allowed to be tired?”
“Of course you are. I’m just surprised, is all. Are you feeling okay?”
Rui’s gaze drifted away. “I might have had some difficulty sleeping lately…”
Tsukasa frowned. “I knew your eyebags were darker. You should have told me.”
“What would you have done?”
“Anything.”
Surprise flashed across Rui’s face before shifting into a sad smile. “You really shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Why not? It’s true. I’d do anything for you.”
Rui hummed, looking opposite Tsukasa’s direction. “If that’s the case, I’ve got quite a few inventions lined up for testing–”
“Rui.” Tsukasa’s hand settled firmly on Rui’s shoulder. “I’m serious. I know it’s hard to ask for help, but it wouldn’t be a burden. Deflecting, or trying to scare me into retracting my statement… whatever it is you’re trying to do won’t change how I feel. Just tell me what you need, okay? Whatever it is, I’ll do it. I mean it.”
Rui’s eyes set upon him, something indecipherable flickering deep in the electric yellow. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
“What if I called you at four in the morning?”
“I’d answer as fast as I could.”
“What if I asked you to come to my house?”
“I’d be there in twenty minutes.”
Rui looked down. “What if I want something right now… but I don’t need it?”
“That makes no difference to me. I’ll do it for you.” I’d pluck every star from the sky and give them to you on a silver platter if you wanted it.
“You’ll do it? Right now?”
Tsukasa nodded. “Just tell me what it is.”
Rui bit his lip for a split second, his eyes fluttering shut. “I want you to lay on your bed as you normally would and close your eyes.”
Tsukasa didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. Perhaps something more… comforting? But it didn’t matter. He complied, sprawling out on his back with his head resting on one of his remaining pillows. As soon as he closed his eyes, he felt Rui’s weight leave the bed. Moments later, the click of the light switch echoed in the room, followed by Rui’s weight returning.
Tsukasa waited with bated breath for whatever Rui was about to do.
A few moments of silence passed as Rui shifted around on the bed, and then… something soft settled on Tsukasa’s chest.
He froze. Was Rui… was this what he wanted? He didn’t mind; of course he didn’t mind! But he hoped Rui couldn’t hear his racing heartbeat.
Time seemed to stand still as neither of them moved. Tsukasa then realized that Rui might be waiting, gauging whether this was okay. So he brushed his fingers gently through the locks of hair tickling his neck.
“I suppose this solves the futon dilemma.”
The tension broke, and Rui pressed closer to him, laughter bubbling up. “I suppose it does.”
Feeling bold, Tsukasa dared to wrap an arm around Rui, pulling him even closer as their legs tangled together. “Is this okay?”
“Of course it’s okay.” Rui returned the gesture, draping his arm across Tsukasa.
“Okay. Goodnight, Rui.”
“Tsukasa-kun?”
“Yes?”
“Will I know when it’s the right time?”
Tsukasa’s eyes flew open, met with pitch blackness. Why was Rui bringing this up now? “I think you’ll know.”
“What if I think it’s right now?”
Tsukasa’s breath hitched. His mind screamed at him to deflect, to say something like “It’s definitely not the right time for sleep if you keep talking like that!" But he loved Rui, and that wouldn’t be fair to him—not when Rui had practically laid everything bare before him.
“It… it could be. I want it to be the right time for both of us, but I can’t help but worry that we should take it slow. I care about you too much to rush things. If you feel it’s the right time now, it will still be the right time tomorrow, I promise. So let’s talk about it in the morning, after you get the rest you need.”
“...Okay. Goodnight, Tsukasa-kun.”
“Goodnight.”
“I love you.”
Ah. Tsukasa wondered when Rui had figured it out. Maybe he had known all along, or maybe he had just realized it now. Tsukasa hadn’t tried at all to hide it, after all. As Rui’s breathing began to slow, he responded before Rui couldn’t hear him anymore. Right now, he could allow himself this much.
“I love you too.”