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“Well maybe if you would fucking shut up for once rather than interrupting me all the time and derailing the whole podcast—”
“Well maybe if you said anything of value I wouldn’t feel the need to interrupt you—”
“Maybe you should both shut up so I don’t crash the car and kill us all?”
Silence falls, settling like a muffling blanket over the music playing quietly.
Karl glances back, scanning his two friends sitting in the back. They practically had a screaming match over who should get shotgun so he banished them both to the backseat as punishment. It didn’t work, as their argument barely even paused.
But now they’re quiet, Sapnap glaring guiltily at George, who just seems faintly amused.
“Sorry,” Sapnap mumbles. There’s barely a pause before he adds, “George. You need to apologise.”
“No I don’t, it’s not my fault you’re—”
“Oh my god, guys, please!” Karl snaps. “Would it kill you to be nice to each other for once? I don’t get to see you that often, I wanna just chill and have fun, not have to mediate all your stupid fights.”
“George physically can’t be nice,” Sapnap snips. “He ruined the episode and now he’s ruining the car trip and he’s going to ruin this whole night.”
“Nick! Please just fucking — kiss and make up, please.”
He half-expects them to get riled up again but when he glances back in the rear view they’re just sitting passively. Not quite passively, actually — it’s hard to tell in the dark but Sapnap’s cheeks definitely seem flushed, and George’s self-righteous smirk has been wiped away entirely. Their gazes flit around, avoiding meeting the other, and Sapnap’s hand rubs unconsciously at his chest, a nervous tic Karl is familiar with.
A smile dawns on his face, and he averts his eyes back to the road as he giggles.
“You guys wanna kiss so bad,” he says, singsong. His chest sinks with a weighted, burning ache, so he distracts himself by making obnoxious kissing noises.
“Shut up, dude,” Sapnap says, but his bluntness is more anxious than aggressive.
“You wanna kiss me so bad,” George crows, mimicking Karl’s tone.
The teasing knocks Sapnap out of his fluster, and he retorts, “You wanna kiss me so bad, dumbass.”
“I literally don’t —”
“You literally do, fucker—”
“Guys! Please!!” Karl says, maybe slightly too sharply. He laughs to soften the harshness but it doesn’t alleviate any of the ache.
“Sorry,” Sapnap says again, but it sounds automatic and distracted. George just laughs softly.
The two of them are silent for the last few minutes of the drive. Karl glances back more than he should, carefully scrutinising the way they’re grinning at each other. He can’t quite see, but it looks like George reaches across to prod Sapnap’s leg, who merely laughs rather than retaliating. Or maybe George isn’t poking him, but instead resting his hand on Sapnap’s thigh. Bare thigh, because as always he’s in stupidly short shorts.
He kind of want to turn the music up so he can drown out his thoughts at least a little bit, but he feels paralysed, pinned in place and puppeteered to mechanically drive.
The other two spill out of the car and bump against each other as they walk to the door. He trails behind them, bitterness crawling up the back of his throat.
He swallows it thickly down as he unlocks the door, fiddling with it for a few extra seconds so he can compose himself. He carefully compresses the dark mass in his chest, and lets the resulting hollow fill up with his usual sunshine happiness.
He is happy for them — he’s seen the way they dance around each other, hiding compliments in insults and exchanging rough touches to satiate the need for softer sensation. They’re constantly in each others company, and seeking it out on the rare occasions they’re apart. He’s seen the way they stare at each other. He’s seen them drenched in jealousy, homesick with want, weighed down by the same heavy ache he’s battling with right now.
They tumble into the house as soon as the door is open, jostling each other as they race to the living room. They’ve collapsed there every night the boys have been staying with him, tangled up together rewatching shows. Karl is always in the middle, because they both want to hog him while they have him but also to keep them from bickering too much.
Karl has a feeling he won’t get to be in the middle tonight.
He’s halfway down the hall following them, but he abruptly halts, stomach turning as he grinds to a stop. He should give them some privacy. So they can kiss and make up. And… figure out whatever it is they need to figure out between them.
Karl likes keeping his house cool, he tolerates the cold well and he likes bundling up and feeling cozy and snug. Right now the cold is oppressive, bone deep and shattering.
He walks to the kitchen and just stands there feeling terrifyingly empty and unbearably full all at once. A long moment passes and then again he tries to choke down the hurt, squishing himself down and distracting himself by opening and closing random cupboards.
He winds up standing in front of the fridge, staring but seeing nothing that’s inside it. His brain is full of unwanted fantasies about what Sapnap and George are doing in the living room right now. Are they on the couch? Sitting or laying down? Are they standing? How close are they? Are they talking? Or are they —
“Karl!” George yells, screeching into the room.
Karl plasters a big grin on his face as he turns towards him. His heart trips over then falls flatly down as he sees them: George holding Sapnap’s hand and tugging him into the room, both of them beaming brightly. They look really happy and really beautiful and Karl doesn’t know what to say at all.
“Hi,” he decides on, dumbly. “How’s it going? Did you — are you — did you —”
“Are you ready for your kiss?” George interrupts.
Karl keeps stammering for a second before stumbling to a shocked stop.
“What?” he gasps out, stepping back as George charges towards him, still dragging Sapnap.
George stops, smile faltering slightly.
“We have to kiss and make up. You literally said so, it was literally your rule.”
“Yeah but I meant — it was you — you guys were fighting, not me.”
“We were totally fighting with you,” Sapnap says. There’s a softness to his tone and a kindness to his smile that feels almost new, but not quite. Feeling warmth blossom inside him, Karl can’t help but smile back.
“Oh,” Karl says, understanding hesitantly growing. “You mean you want —“
“We want to kiss you, yes,” George cuts over him.
“—Me?” Karl finishes.
“We want you,” Sapnap answers him immediately. “I want you.”
“I want him too!” George bites out. He softens as he adds. “I want you. But I mean I do want to kiss you too, as soon as possible. Like right now, maybe.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll kiss you,” Karl says, laughing. All the heavy pain has been lifted, leaving him feeling light in every sense of the word.
“I get to kiss you first!” Sapnap says, shoving himself in front of George to stop him from launching himself at Karl.
“But—”
“No, George, you’ve already kissed him—”
“While I was drunk—”
“You were barely even tipsy—”
“How would you know how drunk I was—”
“I was there, fuckhead, you literally only had half a cruiser, now shut up and—”
“You shut up, you’re being an idiot—”
“No, you need to shut up—”
Karl shuts Sapnap up quite effectively. The kiss is soft but firm, laden with tenderness and passion and all the hope Karl could never quite kill. It’s gentle and chaste, Karl’s hands settling on Sapnap’s broad shoulders as Sapnap’s hover at his waist.
Karl pulls back just slightly to take a quiet breath, their noses gently brushing.
“Hi,” Sapnap whispers.
“Hi!” Karl giggles.
“Hello?” George grumbles. “I’m here too! What the fuck is this favouritism, it isn’t fair. I feel left out and lonely.”
“Sorry, sweetheart,” Karl smirks, squeezing Sapnap’s shoulder before turning towards George, who flushes at the pet name. “Hi, baby. What do you want, my darling little kitten?”
“Shut the fuck up,” George mumbles.
“I think you need to shut the fuck up, actually,” Karl whispers, leaning in.
George makes a tiny soft noise as their lips meet, and Karl gladly savours the sweet sound. He’s more stern than he was with Sapnap, gripping George’s lithe body firmly and pressing into the kiss like he’s trying to sculpt him into shape. He licks across soft lips, and is rewarded with a quiet gasp that he swiftly takes advantage of, sinking his teeth into George’s plush lower lip.
Another low whimper slips from George, and Karl smiles into the kiss, faintly amused but mostly just utterly enamoured.
George tries to cling to him as he pulls away, and he has to gently extricate himself from the tight grasp.
“Kitten, settle,” he chides softly. “Don’t you want to get comfy? We can go cuddle on the couch and —”
“And kiss,” George presses. His pupils are blown wide, the deep darkness blooming over most of the rich honey-brown of his irises.
“We can kiss,” Karl soothes. “Of course. And maybe talk about what we want.”
“Cuddles,” Sapnap says. “I want cuddles.”
“You can have cuddles,” Karl smiles.
“I dibs being in the middle,” Sapnap says.
“No way! Why should you be in the middle, you got to kiss him first so I should get the middle,” George insists.
“You should get over it, I want the middle and you’re always a jackass to me so I deserve it—”
“You can’t have middle just because you want it, I have valid reasoning and all you have is your own flawed opinion—”
“Guys!” Karl cuts over them. “Kittens. Please. Put your pretty little claws away. I’m going to be in the middle, and you are going to behave.”
“Okay,” George relents, preening ever so slightly, his cheeks flushed a deep, rosy pink.
Sapnap opens his mouth like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and smiles, soft and fond. “Okay.”
“Yippee! Come along, kittens. We have many important things to do.”
George and Sapnap squeeze themselves close on either side of him as they walk to the living room, seemingly unwilling to stop touching him even for a second now that they have him. And he has them.
A bright, unrelenting smile graces his face, mirrored on both of the others, happiness tangling them tightly together, sparkling and electric.