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Hunter heard a pop when he tried to stretch his wrist. The sounds were loud and painful, and he cradled it close to his chest as he rubbed it. This always happened when the weather started getting chillier. Every bone he had ever broken or cracked, acted up and he was in for a world of pain and inconvenience.
“Come on, I don’t have time for this!” he groaned and tried stretching it again. There was no denying that something had healed wrong but he had no time to mull that over. He couldn’t have stopped working because of a broken wrist, especially one that ended up this way due to his own behavior.
He had made a mistake, he had angered his uncle and those were the consequences. Now he had to live with them just like he had to with the scars, his previously dislocated shoulder, the sprained ankle, the cracked ribs. He deserved all of it, he had been a nuisance, a bad soldier, and an even worse nephew.
Hunter understood that and yet, the sound of his own bones cracking haunted him.
He had cried out and fallen to his knees like some pathetic child. Belos hadn’t been pleased with this reaction, saying that the Golden Guard shouldn’t act this way. It made him seem like he was still nothing more than a child, undisciplined, and useless. And spending the morning, moaning and groaning over his aching wrist was even more proof of that.
With a sigh, he put his gloves back on. This was a useless exercise, the pain wasn’t going to go away and he was already late for work. So he straightened up and swallowed back the tears as he picked up his staff. His hand was trembling the entire time.
---
He didn’t want to tell Darius about any of this. Not about the old injuries or the new ones but some things were hard to hide, like the scars and the unbearable itch they caused. The man had been restless, trying to find the best creams and salves that would help. And they indeed helped. Hunter felt like he could finally relax in his own skin but there was just one problem.
Darius was worried.
And Hunter preffered not to burden him in this way. It wasn’t life and death that his skin burned and was stiff, that it was the reason he couldn’t fall asleep sometimes and cried from frustration. But all of that he could deal with himself like he always did by trying his best to get over it, ignore it, and move on. He didn’t need Darius to worry when he was already doing so much for him with the home he provided, with all the food he cooked, and the attention he gave for reasons Hunter couldn’t understand. He didn’t need a sickly kid on top of it all.
So when the aches in his bones and muscles started to resurface again he tried to ignore it all. He was good at it, he was trained to do so by Belos who couldn’t stand his soldier to appear weak. It was one of the good things about the mask, that he could hide his expressions whenever the pain was too unbearable and Hunter had thanked the Titan every day that it had been a part of his uniform.
But there were no masks now, no ways to easily hide his reactions. He had to just grin and bear, and pretend like he wasn’t sore and barely able to stand.
So every other day he woke up with a groan, his legs trembling and his wrists stiff and needing to be stretched. The possession had worsened all of his old aches and added new ones, and that fact made Hunter want to scream from frustration. But he tried to be quiet even if the walls in the house were not too thin, he didn’t want to alert Darius in any way. It was already hard enough to hide his situation during the day because the man was so terribly nice and attentive. He actually paid attention to him when Hunter was around, talked to him, ruffled his hair, and involved him in the things he did.
Darius asked if Hunter wanted to help him cook, watch something on the crystal ball, read with him, sew, and do millions of other activities he was never asked to do with someone until recently. Hunter loved that, Titan, he loved it but it made it so much harder to pretend like he wasn’t in pain.
He tried his best to hide any wincing and groaning, any expressions that might betray that he would have a hard time getting up from the couch once the movie they were watching was over. Though, he did wonder if Darius noticed what was going on.
He hoped he didn’t, that would be best for everyone but a selfish part of him wanted him to notice just like he did with the scars. Hunter loathed to see the worry lines on his face but it had felt so good to have someone fret over him, to caress his face gently and ask him if this hurt and should he be more gentle. He melted just thinking about it and once again his two sides, the one who yearned and the one who refused to, were tearing each other apart.
Physical and emotional pain were not on his agenda today at all, he had just wanted to spend some time with his guardian but his mind and body had other plans. So with a sigh, he tried to concentrate on the movie and lose himself in the blur of colors emitting from the screen.
It wasn’t working too well, he could feel his limbs tremble and the occasional deep breaths weren’t helping either. So soon as the credits started rolling, he covered himself as best he could with the blanket so Darius wouldn’t notice.
The man stretched and looked towards him with a pleasant expression. Hunter tried his best to smile back and appear as normal as he could.
“Judging by your expression, I guess you didn’t like the movie much, huh, little wolf?”
“I did!” he said all too eagerly even though he could barely remember what it was about, “I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”
“Well it’s almost time for dinner so why don’t we have it a little earlier today and then you can go to bed,” Darius smiled and ruffled his hair, “You sure need all the rest you can have. Those eyebags of yours are still as deep as ravines.”
“Hey, you said they added charm!”
“I said that about your tooth gap, dear,” he chuckled and got up, before looking at Hunter again, “And even if I might have said that about your eyebags, that’s still not getting you out of sleeping.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. You’ll just drag me to bed like that one time.”
“I didn’t ‘drag’ you, I merely annoyed you until you groaned and huffed, and then got up from your desk and finally went to sleep. And besides, you are lucky I didn’t pick you up and carry you to bed.”
Hunter huffed again, pretending to be annoyed, and would have done it more if he had any more strength. But even these backs and forths with Darius couldn’t distract him from his aches for too long. His words just made him think how nice it would be to be picked up and carried right about now but he was too old for this. Darius was merely joking that he would have done it. Hunter was sure of it.
“Now untangle yourself from this blanket and let’s eat. I’ll go and set up the table.”
His smile didn’t fall until Darius was out of sight and then he slumped. How was he going to survive through dinner without looking like he would keel over any moment. Maybe it was time to tell the truth but just the thought of doing that made his breath hitch. No, he had to push through this and then pray he would feel well by morning.
With a groan, he pushed himself off the couch and tried his best to appear perfectly healthy. His limbs didn’t agree with that notion and felt more sore than ever, making every step feel like he was walking on glass.
Fortunately, Darius was not facing the dining table as he cooked and with a last effort, Hunter managed to sit down.
“I made us some omelets with that cheese filling that you like and-” Darius put the plates down and looked at Hunter closely, “Titan, you do look tired and pale. Little prince, are you sure you are alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Like I said, I’m just tired.”
“And you’re not in pain? No headaches, nausea, sore muscles, or?”
“No. Can we just eat?” he said, his tone sharper than he intended to. He didn’t want to be angry at Darius but he always asked too many questions.
The man did not look convinced in the slightest and the scrutiny of his gaze made Hunter look away. Was his trembling that obvious? Did he look that sick? He hadn’t looked at himself in the mirror the past few days, he didn’t want to see his scars.
But whatever Darius wanted to say next, he didn’t and just sat down and started eating his meal. The silence was not pleasant as it usually was and Hunter could feel the tension. He tried to concentrate on eating his meal but even the cheesy omelette didn’t seem appetising in the slightest. It took great effort to cut it and even greater one to put the pieces in his mouth. The pain in his limbs had gone all the way up to his neck and jaw, and chewing was just as much of a chore. He wanted to cry.
“Hunter…”
“What?”
“Do you think I’m blind?”
“No. What kind of question is that?”
“A very reasonable one when you tell me you are alright and then I see you struggling to eat. So I have to assume that you think I’m blind.”
Darius didn’t sound angry but he wasn’t happy either. His tone verged on frustration and Hunter could see that the goo in his hair was not as calm as usual.
“Well, I don’t think you are and I’m not struggling. I’m just not very hungry and I’m going to bed. Excuse me.”
“Hunter-”
“I said excuse me! Why can’t you just let this go?! You didn’t care before so just go back to that!” he shouted but as soon as the words left his mouth, regret washed over him. This wasn’t how good children behaved.
Hunter averted his gaze, unable to look at him anymore, and just stood there, frozen. His mind was screaming at him to kneel and apologize, to beg for mercy because he had just snapped at his guardian and acted like an ungrateful brat. He had no right to act this way, not towards the man who fed him, clothed him, and provided a roof over his head.
And he didn’t mean any of it, he didn’t want Darius to go back to ignoring him and scoffing in his direction. But he was a coward, he couldn’t face him and own up for his mistakes and part of him was still angry at him for continuing to pry.
Without another word, he quickly left the kitchen and tried to get to his room as fast as he could. It felt like he was just delaying the inevitable punishment, making it worse by running away but he couldn’t stay there, couldn’t bear to see the disappointment and anger. But soon enough Darius would come to demand explanations, as was his right. After all, he didn’t take him in just to be disrespected in his own home.
Hunter shut the door and crashed on the bed, groaning loudly. His body was still on fire and tears were prickling at the edges of his eyes, threatening to spill over. Everything went so wrong, he crossed a line and now would pay for it. It was just a matter of time.
---
Darius stared at the kitchen door, his mouth still agape. The room felt eerie, like a forest after a storm but instead of muddy pits and broken trees, there were plates of unfinished food, a chair pushed too far to the side, and silence. Darius was at a loss for words, still trying to process what had just happened and the moment he realized Hunter had just snapped at him and stormed off, he fell back on his chair and buried his face in his hands.
He had a feeling that something was off with Hunter, that he was hiding something. He could be so timid when it came to stuff that bothered him, often pushing them to the side because he felt they were just not important.
The kid had been trembling, his eyes unfocused and darting, and Darius heard his breathing worsening by the minute. It’s why he had asked…or tried to at least.
Darius groaned at his own lack of tact, at how he cornered him instead of approaching this calmly and reasonably. Maybe Hunter would have told him, maybe he would have felt safer in his presence instead of looking at Darius like he would pounce on him and grab him while making demands.
He knew that looking after him would have its challenges and that there would be bumps on the road but every time something like this happened, Darius felt so woefully unprepared.
What was the appropriate thing to do now? To go after him immediately? To wait? To let him come to him first?
Any of the parenting books he could pick up and consult would tell him different things and it might not even work because his kid was one of a kind, special, and wonderful, and needed someone to know him and what he needed.
Darius feared he wasn’t that someone, that he fumbled too many times, and that Hunter was just going to grow miserable in this house little by little until there was nothing left other than resentment.
The thought made his breath hitch and his eyes sting with tears.
He shook his head and got up suddenly, putting the leftovers in the fridge and cleaning up. Doing things with his hands always helped him think and he needed all the help, now that his mind was being filled with all sorts of unpleasant thoughts. Maybe Hunter already resented him and had every right to do so, to say that Darius didn’t care about him before. The words stung but they were truthful. He had been negligent and dismissive, too lost in his own plans and issues to see what was really going on.
But he couldn’t let that train of thought continue, Hunter deserved better than his guardian throwing a pity party while he suffered alone upstairs.
“Titan damn it…” he hissed and dropped one of the dishes in the sink. He didn’t know if this was the right decision or if he would just make things worse but after a deep breath, he steeled himself and went upstairs.
The hall was dark and it felt far too long, unnaturally so. Was he walking too slow? Was he walking at all?
He picked up the pace and soon enough the door to Hunter’s room became visible. It was closed and if it was any other day, Darius would have entered just to tell Hunter a good night again and see that smile of his somehow shine in the near-darkness. No smiles would greet him this time.
With one last, deep breath, Darius knocked gently and asked if could come in. He tried to keep his voice soft and not betray any of the worry that was currently wrecking his mind.
No response. He tried again, this time a bit louder and if he had not been pressed so close to the door, he wouldn’t have heard the small ‘come in’.
He opened the door gently and saw Hunter stare at him just for a moment before lowering his head and quickly trying to get up from the bed. He was swaying a little, his breathing still labored but before Darius could even say a thing, the kid stood stiffly in front of him. It sent a chill down Darius’ spine, to see him act like a soldier in the presence of his betters.
Like someone who was expecting a harsh punishment.
“I’m sorry, sir. I disrespected you and was way out of line with how I behaved. I will accept any punishment and I won’t run away again.” he said, his voice hoarse and choked up as if he had been crying.
Darius tried not to flinch at being called sir, at those words which sounded so rehearsed as if repeated many times throughout Hunter’s life as a last plea for mercy. Darius didn’t want to imagine how many times he must have stood in front of Belos in the exact same way. This was not the time for this.
“The one who should be sorry is me. I shouldn’t have cornered you like that and treated you so callously.”
“You didn’t-”
“Hunter, please,” Darius shook his head, “You’re not in the wrong here and won’t be punished. Not for snapping at me or for anything else, and I know I’ve said it before but best mention it again.”
Words just never felt enough once they left his mouth. It always seemed like he was saying the wrong thing, either sounding too formal or too nonchalant, but he couldn’t take them back and try again. Real life was not so simple.
“You…you really aren’t angry?”
“No, I’m not. And I won’t hurt you if you look at me.”
His ears perked up at that before lowering back down as he looked up. Scared was a small word to describe his expression and it broke Darius’ heart to see him like this. His eyes were still glassy from the tears and the pain he was in was evident.
Darius couldn’t wait anymore, Hunter looked like he would collapse at any moment.
“Little wolf, I know something is going on, I know you’re in pain. You don’t have to tell me what it is but please, lean on me, and let’s lay you down.”
Hunter looked like he wanted to deny it immediately, unwilling to show ‘weakness’ but as soon as he saw Darius extend his arms towards him, all the energy disappeared from his body. Darius grabbed him just in time and fully picked him up.
The kid felt limp against him, barely able to hold onto him as he carried him to bed. Darius would have feared that he fainted, if not for him burying his face in his shoulder and neck. He seemed small in his arms, vulnerable, and it made Darius’ usual feelings of protectiveness even stronger. He was reluctant to place him down on the bed, he wanted to hold him for longer but he wasn’t sure Hunter would like that now.
The kid groaned in pain as soon as he was placed down, clenching his teeth and gripping the blankets hard enough to crease them. Darius quickly placed a hand on his forehead but he wasn’t feverish, just sweaty from the pain.
“Look, I know I just said I won’t pressure you but I’m really worried. I can’t leave you be, not until I know what’s going on.”
Hunter stubbornly refused to look at him, somehow still trying to deny that something was very wrong. Maybe he hoped Darius’ patience would thin out and he would storm off, leaving him to his devices.
Maybe Darius would have done such a thing before but not anymore. Not when his kid is suffering in silence. He flicked his finger and summoned an abomination to bring him whatever pain relievers they had.
“Hunter please, I don’t want us to fight about this. Whatever you think my reaction would be, I can guarantee it would be better than what you expect.”
“I….I don’t…want to w-worry you…”
“It’s a little bit late for that, dear. And besides, worrying about you is my job. You aren’t some random person who I just invited into my house.” Darius sighed and adjusted the blankets which had started to slip away.
Hunter fell silent for a moment, before finally turning to look at him. His expression betrayed many emotions but one in particular struck Darius immediately.
“Titan, you do think you’re some random person. Hunter…”
“I’m sorry, I just…I d-don’t…” he whimpered and his eyes filled with tears again, “Y-you have your work…your o-own life and I’m…I’m…”
“You’re wonderful, that’s what you are and you’re part of my life. When I took you in, I said I’ll take care of you and that this wouldn’t be some roommate situation,” Darius scooched even closer to his bed and picked one of the potions that his little abomination brought, “Seems like I should have been more clear what I meant by that. But before we talk, open your mouth.”
“What’s that…?”
“Pain relieving potion. It can be used for most things and it should work until I find out what’s going on with you.”
He placed one of his hands under Hunter’s head and the bottle on his lips because he wasn’t going to take any more protests about this. He was barely keeping himself from crying over this whole situation. They really needed to have a long talk.
Hunter must have sensed that Darius would not budge on this so he ended up drinking the whole dosage. The taste wasn’t very pleasant but soon his face relaxed and so did he. Darius sighed in relief and finally let himself slump against the bed.
“You really are so stubborn, little wolf.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he stood up and adjusted Hunter’s blanket again before sitting right next to him, “Now, I can leave you to rest or we can talk. I know that you would rather never talk about this again but I can’t just walk away, I hope you understand that.”
Hunter turned to the side to face him and for a moment it seemed like he would tell him to go away but his expression was earnest. Maybe some of Darius’ confessions did get to him, even when his mind was clouded by pain.
“I do understand, it’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I…I like that you care but you get so worried and frantic when I don’t feel well. You lost sleep when I had issues with my scars…”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s not! Well…it is but not really,” Hunter said with frustration before letting out a deep sigh, “You deserve to live your life without any burdens. Burdens…like me.”
Darius’ eyes widened at his words and whatever tears he had been trying to keep at bay, gathered at the corners of his eyes. This kid…this brilliant kid that was made to believe that his pain and his needs are a burden and would rather suffer alone than ask for help, was now doing it once again.
Darius placed a hand on his cheek gently and lowered himself down, till he was laying next to Hunter, “You’re not a burden, don’t ever believe for a second that you are. And I feel privileged that you let me take care of you after everything I did and didn’t do for you in the past.”
Hunter’s breath hitched at his words and he looked at him with so much yearning in his eyes because at the end of the day, he was a kid that just wanted to be loved.
“If you think I deserve a good life, I already have it. With you leaning against me when we watch movies, being able to see you happily go to school and meet up with your friends, and finally have the life you deserve.”
He was never one to confess things like that, preferring his actions to say what he couldn’t but Hunter needed to hear it. And there was so much more he needed to hear but Darius could see he was getting overwhelmed so he said one last thing.
“I said we’re not roommates and I meant it. You’re not some random person that lives in my house, you’re my kid. If you want to be, that is.”
Darius felt spent, most of his feelings were now laid bare and the rest was up to Hunter. He didn’t want to put pressure on him in any way, this was all very new to them both but he got his answer as soon as Hunter buried his face in his chest and sobbed.
“I take that as a yes?”
A vigorous nod was all he got before Hunter deepened the hug and quieted down. Darius held him firmly and threaded his fingers through his hair. He felt like he could stay like this forever but the pain relief wouldn’t last that long. He hoped Hunter would now tell him fully about all his aches.
Soon enough, he became restless again and sheepishly looked at Darius.
“So…about me feeling sick. I might have issues with my joints and muscles and the pain comes and goes.”
“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed.” Darius said with a tinge of sarcasm and brushed Hunter’s hair lock away from his face. The kid gave him a small smile.
“And I should have told you sooner.”
“You should have but I know why you didn’t. It’s hard asking for help, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…I don’t know why it’s so hard.”
“Because,” Darius lifted himself slightly and picked up another potion. This time something that would help even better now that he knew that Hunter needed something for chronic pain, “A certain vile man made you feel like a burden. Of course, it would be hard.”
“So it’s Belos again, isn’t it…”
Darius nodded and pressed the new potion against his lips. Hunter took a few sips and relaxed once again.
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore…”
“I know, little wolf, I know but now you have a chance to heal. It took some time but you managed to ask for help and I’m proud of you. And Captain O’Bailey would be too.”
Hunter squeaked in surprise and looked at Darius questioningly. The man smiled smugly, he knew he had to elaborate because he couldn’t just mention his kid’s favorite character out of the blue like that.
“You gave me those Cosmic Frontier books of yours to read, right? Well, I have been making my way through them and-”
“You have? I…I didn’t think you would.”
“Of course, I would. You were so excited for me to read them so why wouldn’t I?” Darius asked as if the answer was so obvious and it was, to someone who knew that adults are supposed to be interested in what their children like, “But that’s beside the point which is that as I was reading them, one thing in particular stuck with me.”
“The political conflict? The battles?”
“No, something better. Something that the Captain says to a woman he meets when he travels back in time,” Darius smiled again and with a flick of his finger manifested the first book in his hands. He opened it to a specific page, one bookmarked with a colorful slip of paper, and cleared his throat.
“‘Let me help.’ A hundred years or so from now, a novelist will write a classic using that theme. He’ll recommend those words even over ‘I love you.’”
Hunter’s eyes widened and soon enough small tears gathered at the corner of his eyes again.
“I want you to be safe, to help you so you don’t feel this pain constantly. I know it’s not easy to ask for help, Titan knows I have been just as stubborn with asking for it too but know, it will always be offered.”
“Darius, that’s so…”
“Yes?”
“That’s so cheesy.”
“Unbelievable. And here I am, pouring my heart out for you!”
Hunter barely managed to stifle his chuckle as Darius huffed in mock indignation. Such a cheeky kid, but if he had the energy to joke then it meant he was getting better.
“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist. It’s cheesy but I love it,” he moved closer to Darius and laid his head down on his chest, “And I remember reading that part but I didn’t really understand it back then. After all, how could offering help be greater than something like saying you love someone? But I get it now.”
Hunter looked at him again. His big eyes sparkling with admiration filled his heart with so much fondness. He quickly wrapped his arms around his kid, keeping him securely against himself as they rested. Neither of them wanted to ever leave this little piece of paradise they created.