Chapter Text
Steve Rogers was not allowed to participate in Avengers drinking contests.
It was completely unfair his metabolism basically canceled out his ability to get drunk, but Steve had never been much of a drinker anyway. He only did it now when everyone else was, and even though they all knew the alcohol didn’t affect him, no one said anything.
However, he was never told when there was a drinking contest either. The other Avengers knew besides having an unfair advantage, Steve would shut down the party earlier than he needed to, all on account of them having to be ready to save the world at a moment’s notice.
Or something.
These contests usually started when Tony, Thor, Natasha, and occasionally Clint were alone. Bruce didn’t drink much either, on account of wanting to have full awareness to make up for any time he Hulked out.
But occasionally, after a bad mission, Steve would notice Bruce’s absence, along with one of Tony’s bottles of Glenlivet.
So when Steve was wandering the tower one night, unable to sleep, he was attracted by the loud noises coming from Tony’s lab.
Thor was chuckling loudly at Clint’s attempts to lift Mjolnir off the floor, Natasha was pouring shots, and Tony was wearing his shield, his shield!
Steve entered, more than a little miffed. “Stark, what are you doing with that?”
Tony whirled around, eyes wide, as Clint stage-whispered “Shit, hide, it’s Captain Hard Ass!” before falling to the floor in an ungraceful heap behind the hammer.
Natasha sniggered at his comment then sent an apologetic look Steve’s way while Thor hit the surface of the table he was sitting at guffawing loudly.
“Nooooooooooothing,” Tony drawled out, before he started whistling and dropped the shield on the floor next to Clint.
Steve sighed loudly. “Please don’t take my things.”
Tony stood stalk still with a dead serious look on his face. “I didn’t this time. Clint did.”
“Traitorrrrrrrrr,” Clint moaned from the floor.
“Seriously, guys,” Steve moved over to where Clint was continuing to moan on the floor in between Thor’s hammer and his shield. “Please don’t take-”
Clint gave a “hurrk!” noise before scrambling up to his elbows, grabbing the shield, and puking in it.
“feel bet’r now,” he mumbled.
Everyone stood motionless before Tony let out a snort and then Thor started laughing uproariously.
Steve trembled with a barely contained anger. “YOU are cleaning that out,” he hissed at Stark before stomping out of the lab.