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“Did this girl tell you anything else?”
Rio hummed. “She said it hopped around a lot.”
Oh! Agatha laughed. “A frog?”
Rio’s brow furrowed. “A what?”
Another self-indulgent chuckle escaped Agatha's shameless mouth before she could stop herself. “Rio, you are quite literally as old as the Earth itself, and you’ve never heard of a frog?”
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Agatha has been teaching Rio about the intricacies of humanity when there’s a mix-up on what is mythical and what isn’t. Because of this, Rio gets a special surprise.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,433
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 342
- Bookmarks:
- 34
- Hits:
- 2,470
Bookmarked by smallball
05 Oct 2025
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heart’s desire by curiositysdarling
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
19 Jul 2025
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Summary
Pregnant.
Rio stares at the readout panel on the blue and white stick clutched in her trembling hands for a long, terror-soaked, nausea-filled moment.
This cannot be happening.
Rio puts the test back down on the bathroom counter. Closes her eyes. Counts to ten. And gives the damn thing a mean little shake after blindly fumbling for it before daring to open her eyes to check result again, just in case.
Nope. Still pregnant. Oh, fuck.
“No, Lilia,” she mouths to herself, mockingly echoing her own earlier words. They’d been having breakfast earlier when Rio had found herself chucking up Cheerios in the sink for the fourth day running. That’s when the woman she all but considered to be her mother had decided it was time to gently offer her thoughts on what might be causing Rio’s recent bout of sudden and inexplicable chocolate Cheerio-intolerance. “Of course I’m not pregnant. The last person I slept with was my very female boss but oh, wait!” The script flips as Rio’s voice veers towards mild hysteria. “I forgot that we’re witches who pulled that dumbass stunt while drunk on Beltane!”
//
A magical accident happens. Chaos follows.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,164
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Comments:
- 274
- Kudos:
- 1,275
- Bookmarks:
- 257
- Hits:
- 22,556
Bookmarked by smallball
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
All things considered, Agatha’s sex life had been pretty bleak since her last real relationship turned sour.
Which is how she found herself creating a new AOL account. And joining a local bdsm chat room. And writing very explicit directions in her away message.
AIM AWAY MESSAGE: Dyke seeking EXPERIENCED shibari play partner. If you’re strapping and know how to tie, introduce yourself for a compatibility quiz.
= = =
Late 90s strangers-to-lovers fic where Agatha meets Rio at a dive bar after connecting in an AOL chat room.
Series
- Part 1 of Shatter Your Illusions Universe
Bookmarked by smallball
09 Sep 2025
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Put It On The Line by AnonFandomBandit, midwestprincess_01, saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Agatha whipped her head and body towards the student. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“No problem,” She shook her head, smirking. “I like talking to you.”
“You like pissing me off.” Agatha sniped, plucking her glass off the bar when it arrived.
“Those two seem to be one in the same.”
“Just tell me something.” She said after letting a sip burn down her throat. “Where do you get off speaking to a respected professor like that?”
“Like what?”
“You were argumentative, disrespectful, dismissive–”
“No, Agatha, that was you.”
“Dr. Harkness.” Agatha corrected. “Only people I like can call me Agatha and I don’t like you.”
“Now, that’s not true.” Rio tilted her head. “You’re talking to me, aren’t you?”
OR
Newly tenured professor, Dr. Agatha Harkness, has nothing to prove. That is until she meets a smug, twenty-three year old PhD student in Copenhagen after her first keynote speech. Never one to shy away from a challenge, Agatha seeks to put Rio in her place by any means necessary. No matter what the consequences…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 82,463
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 351
- Kudos:
- 1,583
- Bookmarks:
- 318
- Hits:
- 49,880
Bookmarked by smallball
20 Aug 2025
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Summary
A knight from a distant land where magic and spirits are honored, an unchained force woven into the fabric of life itself. An heir to the ruling House of the Empire, where magic is something to be mastered, controlled, and wielded as a weapon by the worthy few. When the Empire unexpectedly opens its borders for the first time in decades, the knight is sent to uncover the truth behind their sudden hospitality. But in the heart of the enemy’s stronghold, she finds more than secrets—she finds the heir, a woman whose power is undeniable.
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OR Knight!Rio, Princess!Agatha, and perhaps dragons.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,357
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 1,054
- Kudos:
- 1,086
- Bookmarks:
- 205
- Hits:
- 36,296
Bookmarked by smallball
01 Aug 2025
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can't believe i've become someone else (someone more like myself) by alilbitgay
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
30 Jul 2025
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Summary
There’s something weirdly attractive about this non-conforming stranger – not attractive attractive, Rio’s never wanted another person in her life the way she’s wanted Agatha and she never will, she shudders at the thought – but nice to look at. Or- interesting, maybe? Rio can’t put her finger on it, but the cut of their jacket and the way their shorts fall too wide around their calves – she can’t stop looking.
Comparing, more accurately. To her own knobby knees and the shorts that suddenly look like they don’t belong on her. To her silhouette, all wrong all of a sudden.
or: the very complicated gender of rio vidal ft. eager wife-girlfriend agatha cheering them on in the background
Series
- Part 5 of death has a cabin in delaware
Bookmarked by smallball
30 Jul 2025
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“In all her years of existence, since before the creation of words and evolution of creatures, Rio had never missed a death until the inconvenient passing of Agatha Harkness.”
In which Agatha Harkness attends her own funeral, and Death takes her first day off.Bookmarked by smallball
16 Jul 2025
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Summary
Agatha’s in Austin for SXSW EDU, and it’s ruining her life.
She gets it. The principal has been pushing conference attendance since the beginning of last school year—he wants the whole Westview High faculty to get refreshed or inspired or whatever the hell the buzzword is this time.
And sure, Agatha’s a natural for it—11th grade English teacher, master of Hamlet discussions, full-on poet-in-residence vibes. But still. Five days in a bougie hotel surrounded by academic try-hards and douchebags who wouldn’t know Virginia Woolf from the hole in their ass? That’s not what Agatha needs.
She needs her wife.
More specifically: she needs to fuck her wife.-or-
Distance makes Agatha sad and horny, so she makes it Rio's problem when she gets home.
Bookmarked by smallball
12 Jul 2025
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Summary
Rio straightened, refusing to get flustered under the woman’s heavy gaze.
“I’ve received some complaints about the way you’re using our library computers.”
The woman’s mouth curved into a slow grin. “Don’t tell me I’m in trouble, officer. Was I typing too loud?”
OR: Rio Vidal is a tightly wound librarian who teaches Digital Literacy classes at the Westview library every Friday. Agatha is a flirty Etsy witch who decides to kill two birds with one stone: one, use the library computers to run her business-slash-scam, ensuring her IP can't be traced. And two, do everything in her power to get the hot, uptight librarian to unwind a little.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,670
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 322
- Bookmarks:
- 35
- Hits:
- 2,316
Bookmarked by smallball
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
When Agatha gets a private message from someone in a Dungeons and Dragons server claiming to be a lesbian, she plays into the game, stringing along what she assumes to be some awkward incel and getting them way too seriously into the Discord daddy/kitten dynamic.
Agatha is very, very incorrect about who is on the other end of her screen. The problem she inevitably faces is how deep the teeth marks are going to be when this bites her in the ass.
_____
OR, yes, the agathario discord kitten au.Series
- Part 1 of agathario discord kitten au
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,019
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 147
- Kudos:
- 1,119
- Bookmarks:
- 219
- Hits:
- 18,234
Bookmarked by smallball
01 Jul 2025
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This type of love isn't rational, it's physical by YellowFog
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
08 Feb 2025
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Summary
Sure, she has seen the ‘Keep out’ signs that seemed to multiply after every one of her visits over the last few weeks, but Rio feels that if the owner really wants to keep her away, they surely would have put in some actual effort. And yeah, alright, the barbed wire fencing is new, but anything less than an electric fence isn’t going to stop Rio. She hasn’t spent all that money on rock climbing lessons not to use them, thank you very much.
No, if anyone actually wanted to keep her out of the house, she would surely have been met with a bit more resist–
“Hold it right there!”
Ah. Fuck.
Or: Rio loves breaking into old houses. She loves it less when the cops show up. However, for detective Agatha Harkness, she might make an exception.
Bookmarked by smallball
20 Jun 2025
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Summary
“Holy. Shit.”
Rio turns, brows raised. “What?”
Alice doesn’t answer, eyes locked on something past the crowd.
“Seriously, what is it?” Rio asks again.
Then Alice grabs her arm hard enough to nearly knock the drink out of her hand and points.
Rio follows with her eyes. And there, maybe twenty feet away, walking through a break in the crowd like some terrifying fashion shark is Agatha freaking Harkness.
“Didn’t you say your boss was straight? Then why does someone who looks exactly like her just happen to be at Pride...with what looks a whole lot like a hot, gorgeous, probably very gay date?”
OR
Rio lies and calls in sick so she can go to Pride on a workday.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 111,722
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 479
- Kudos:
- 2,015
- Bookmarks:
- 412
- Hits:
- 45,133
Bookmarked by smallball
19 Jun 2025
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To share the space with simple living things by YellowFog
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
18 May 2025
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Summary
“Lilia, sorry to disturb you on this fine Saturday morning, I need to get into your backyard to grab my fuckass traitor of a bunny. I’ll just be a minute–”
When the door fully swung open, Agatha paused. The woman standing in the doorway wasn’t Lilia.
“I should start opening my door to salesmen more often if this is how they dress now. Though I have to say, that’s the weirdest sales pitch I’ve heard in a long time.”
OR: Agatha's bunny keeps escaping to her neighbor Lilia's yard. Rio, who is housesitting for Lilia, enjoys her new furry companion. Agatha, on the other hand, hates her new neighbor with a fiery passion. Until she doesn't.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,464
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 488
- Bookmarks:
- 81
- Hits:
- 3,851
Bookmarked by smallball
18 Jun 2025
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Summary
Nicky may be six, but he is a very perceptive child - at least, that's what his mother always says. So when his attention is caught by the pink in his mother’s cheek when meeting his new teacher, he knows there's more to it than what meets the eye.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,457
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 351
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 1,902
Bookmarked by smallball
17 Jun 2025
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Summary
“Thirty-nine—”
Liar, Rio thinks. You’re forty-one.
“—I teach music at Westview High—”
Another lie.
“—I’m a Scorpio—”
Okay, that one is true.
“—and I nurse stray kittens back to health in my free time.”
Rio expertly turns a laugh into a cough, and takes a sip of her water with her hand held up in an apologetic gesture.
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OR: Agatha and Rio have been running a scam for years, but the only people they've been scamming are... Agatha and Rio.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,613
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 745
- Bookmarks:
- 104
- Hits:
- 7,297
Bookmarked by smallball
03 Jun 2025
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Summary
rio is an english teacher at a catholic boarding school, looking forward to a quiet two months of finishing her novel once students have left for summer break.
agatha has done nothing but cause trouble since she arrived as a last-minute transfer student last semester.
when agatha’s mother forces her to stay at school over the summer, rio is given the impossible task of saving her from sin.
Bookmarked by smallball
28 May 2025
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But If You Need My Love (My clothes are off) by midwestprincess_01
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
19 May 2025
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Summary
Rio needs a wedding date, Agatha’s a stripper, what more do I have to say?
Series
- Part 1 of I'm comin' over to your place
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,535
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 1,403
- Bookmarks:
- 184
- Hits:
- 13,936
Bookmarked by smallball
23 May 2025
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Summary
Nicky’s powers have started coming in, and his mothers are keen to show him the wonderful world of magic. Yet they have very different opinions on how to teach him…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,374
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 163
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 1,017
Bookmarked by smallball
22 May 2025
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Summary
Rio Vidal is a part-time journalist, full-time cryptid hunter, and unapologetic believer in things that go bump in the night. When she’s sent to profile the reclusive new owner of the Harkness Estate, she expects velvet curtains and perhaps a mild haunting. All part of the job.
She finds Agatha Harkness—a centuries-old, unrepentant, and alarmingly forward vampire.
They thirst for answers. And share a taste for blood.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,071
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 205
- Kudos:
- 804
- Bookmarks:
- 146
- Hits:
- 13,676
Bookmarked by smallball
20 May 2025
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Summary
“So, if I’m such a lost cause, why the hell are you here?”
“Because I’m good at my job and I love a challenge.”
“A congressional race is not the same as a presidential.”
“I’ve managed races for congressmen, senators, governors.” She listed off breezily. “I’m interested in the big score.”
“You wanna swing your dick around and show off?” Agatha scoffed.
“Like you don’t.”
Agatha leaned in now too, challenging her. “The difference is, I don’t need to wave mine around for everybody to know how big it is.”
“Agatha,” She said, which was disrespectful given they’d only just met. “Let me run this campaign. I can make you someone America will want to vote for.”
She finally pulled away, chuckling and sitting back down. “I don’t need you for that.”
OR
VP Agatha has three months to run for president and begrudgingly makes Rio her campaign manager.
AKA The Veep/Scandal/West Wing AU that twitter told me to writeSeries
- Part 1 of Moves
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 170,695
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 3,751
- Kudos:
- 5,543
- Bookmarks:
- 815
- Hits:
- 222,130
Bookmarked by smallball
15 May 2025