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Magic Maketh Man by Brokenpitchpipe for yishaqeni
Fandoms: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Feb 2024
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Summary
It takes Eggsy three seconds to tear his eyes off the feed, slam the laptop shut, apparate to Harry’s side, and somehow manage to get back to St. Mungo’s with the added weight.
It takes him another two minutes to realize that Harry’s glasses are still on his face, and the tiny little LED atop the brow is still blinking obediently.
Merlin’s goddamn balls. He’s fucked.
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
24 Jan 2026
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“I’ll help you,” Jamie insisted, despite the fact that getting beer was surely a job that one man could handle. Roy didn’t point this out, allowing Jamie to grab his hand and lead him out of the living room and to the kitchen.
There was a moment of silence in the living room, as they all turned the moment over in their minds. Colin desperately wanted to say something, just to see if everyone else had noticed how attached the two of them were, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking.
“They’re a bit… clingy, yeah?” Colin asked the group, still a bit hesitant to bring it up.
Or:
Five times people notice how clingy Roy and Jamie are, and one time Roy and Jamie admit it.
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ola doesn’t know what Higgins once told Jamie about fathers and sons and songs, but is determined to offer Jamie the chance at some better tunes all the same.
Or, Jamie is concerned Sam will miss his date with Simi; Ola is concerned that Jamie might be sleeping with Rebecca; Roy is concerned that Jamie has lost his mind.
It’s Valentine’s Day in Richmond.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,422
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 37
- Kudos:
- 669
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 3,356
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
14 Jan 2026
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His beard and hair are both longer, airing just on the right side of scruffy, but besides that Roy looks exactly like he did when Jamie saw him last.
(Limping off the pitch for the last time, covered in mud and looking both jubilant and as if something heavy was settling over his shoulders like a shroud.)
Or: Jamie was never loaned to Richmond. When he took Roy out of the game, the man disappeared and secretly opened a bookshop. And also coached West London U9 girls.
Jamie is looking for a book.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,367
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 702
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 17,383
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
Roy glares up at him.
"Mate? Do you call everyone who's been balls-deep in your arse ‘mate’?"
Jamie thinks on it for a moment— he's really only ever had other allegedly-straight footballers who wanted to keep it on the low up his arse, so that might actually be right.
"Yeah, I reckon so," he offers. "What should I call you, then? Daddy?"
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or, adventures in kink discovery.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,134
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 719
- Bookmarks:
- 89
- Hits:
- 6,554
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
Two months later, Jamie is the top sales rep at the company, he's still got absolutely no idea what it is he's selling, and Roy Kent follows him on Twitter.
The Twitter thing takes Jamie on a real emotional rollercoaster ride. First of course he flips out with excitement, then he thinks it's probably a joke account or something, then he sees that it's verified and flips out again, then he crashes down to earth remembering how many celebrities (or celebrity accounts run by assistants or whoever) just follow everyone who mentions their name, and then he sees that Roy has only followed six accounts: the official AFC Richmond account, Nigella Lawson, Cher, Keeley Jones, a woman whose avi looks like she's probably related to Roy... and Jamie. In that order, meaning he followed Jamie first.
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
13 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Are you homophobic?”
“What?”
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Eddie answered, automatically, even though his mind had volunteered several other pressing questions, like what are you talking about and what is happening and did I recently sustain brain damage.
“Thanks,” said Buckley, and then he pushed Eddie back against the side of the firetruck and kissed him.
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It's the 63rd Annual Los Angeles Fire Muster & Firefighter’s Family Day, and inter-station relations are about to get real friendly between fire houses 6 and 118.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,867
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 494
- Kudos:
- 7,702
- Bookmarks:
- 1,787
- Hits:
- 55,865
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Raphael’s trying his best not to be nosy, but his eyes land on Eddie’s screen anyway, and he huffs out a quiet laugh. “My wife sends me stuff like that, too. I don’t know where she finds it.”
“If she’s anything like Buck, she’s got the oddity section on AP News bookmarked.”
Eddie’s card makes a soft little beep as he taps it against the machine, and Raphael smiles at him as he tears the receipt off and hands it over. “How long have y’all been together?”
...or, everyone in El Paso has lost their minds.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,300
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 304
- Kudos:
- 6,858
- Bookmarks:
- 1,284
- Hits:
- 37,418
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Buck wouldn’t be making that face at Tommy, because Buck was straight. Buck was straight and Tommy was straight. Buck had been jealous of Tommy’s friendship with Eddie five minutes ago, there was no way he’d be making that face unless—
Tommy’s hand darted forward, fingertips landing in Buck’s palm, which was upturned on the table, drawing a teasing pattern against his skin. Tommy was giving Buck a look too. Slightly narrowed, intense eyes. Smirk pulling his lips up.
He was looking at Buck like a predator stalking its prey. Buck was blinking up at him through his lashes like he was happy to be hunted.
Somehow, he had convinced himself that it was him and his friendship that Buck was jealous over. That Buck was scared of losing him, and acting a little crazy about it.
He was used to Buck being a little crazy about things— so what?
It had never even crossed Eddie’s mind that he might be the obstacle Buck was trying to get rid of.
OR -
What if the still of Eddie watching Buck and Tommy's first date had actually made it to air? What if Eddie had witnessed their first date?
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Asked me if I was the Chinese food delivery guy on my first day.” Chim contributed in a whisper, like he was afraid Buck might wake up and hear. Maybe he felt disloyal admitting it now. It was no secret to anyone paying attention how much Chim loved Buck, even if he often pretended to be exasperated with him.
Hen nodded solemnly. “One of the many people who wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I started.”
It was news to Eddie, and apparently Ravi too, but not Cap, who resolutely stared down at the table in front of him, shaking his head.
“Oh, so he fucking sucks.” Ravi contributed casually, never one to pull punches with his thoughts.
No one responded, but the agreement was in the air.
OR -
Eddie starts gathering information about why no one trusts Tommy. As he grows to hate their relationship more, he learns more about himself and what he wants.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,419
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 212
- Kudos:
- 7,259
- Bookmarks:
- 1,683
- Hits:
- 57,712
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
07 Jan 2026
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- Words:
- 28,589
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 249
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Summary
“Your boy—Buck,” Brad says. “First marriage?”
“Pardon?”
“Well, your wife is—” Brad starts, stops. Remembers at least a third of the lecture he’s been given at least a dozen times by his publicist on the danger of making assumptions. “He calls your wife by her given name—I mean, does the same to you, but I’d reckon that has more to do with professionalism than personal grievances, given the fact that you clearly get on.”
—and fuck, maybe that’s another thing Brad should try to learn by watching Bobby.
—
in which Brad Torrence only almost passes out, and observes the aftermath.
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
07 Jan 2026
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Summary
Adriana doesn’t tell their parents that she’s going to LA. She doesn’t tell Eddie, either—or ask, for that matter.
She does ask Chris, and he thinks it’s a good idea—says as much, on the phone, and doesn’t say much else.
“Buck will probably be hovering,” is what Chris does volunteer.
It still surprises her when the man who opens the door is not Eddie. It’s—Captain America, is the thing that actually comes to mind—a man close to a foot taller than she is, if not more than that, with blond curls and broad shoulders, and he’s got a question in his very blue eyes that’s probably less friendly than the one he actually asks her.
“Uh,” he says. “Can I help you?”
—
Or: Adriana arrives in LA. Maddie has been here the whole time.
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- Words:
- 12,123
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 167
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
07 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Series: Paint on your face
1: Paint on your face by paleredheadinascifi
“Yeah. Craziest thing. My kid comes home a few weeks ago with a birthmark on his eyebrow. Looks suspiciously like a smudge of paint, but he assures me it’s a birthmark.”
“Ah,” Buck cringes. "Mr Diaz - -"
"Eddie."
Or, if you ask Christopher, that smudge on his eyebrow is a birthmark. If you ask Eddie, his kid won't stop painting on his face and he has no idea why.
2: Paint the glass half full by paleredheadinascifi
“I like your eye spots,” the kid says, reaching for a glue stick.
“Thank you,” he says. “It’s a birthmark.”
“I’ve never seen a birthmark before!” The kid gasps. “How do you get one?”
Or, Buck gets crushed by a ladder truck and chooses to glass-half-full it. He volunteers to teach a kid's art class at the library. He meets a kid and his dad and his cup end ups very, very full.
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Summary
Hermione dubs the dinner The Last Weasley Supper.
Ron and Harry rarely fight about Hermione. Until they do.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,099
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 479
- Kudos:
- 1,697
- Bookmarks:
- 488
- Hits:
- 45,764
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
05 Dec 2025
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Daphne Greengrass and the Preemptive Adulterer by ScribblingSteve
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Apr 2022
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Summary
Harry doesn't necessarily expect a polite "thank you" after saving Daphne Greengrass and her younger sister from falling to their deaths, but he definitely doesn't expect the stream of verbal and magical curses he gets instead. His surprise is nothing compared to hers when her curse fails, though, and that discovery propels the two into a whirlwind week of legal loophole abuse, awkward lust, and weaponized Pureblood etiquette lessons.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,359
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 332
- Kudos:
- 2,113
- Bookmarks:
- 611
- Hits:
- 73,874
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
26 Nov 2025
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Summary
James Potter casts his own spell to protect his only son; but he was never as good with Charms as Lily was. (A more ruthless Harry Potter grows up to confront Voldemort).
HP/HG and then HP/HG/TN.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,553
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 118
- Kudos:
- 2,446
- Bookmarks:
- 688
- Hits:
- 29,301
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
25 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Ruthless
angelastarcat (angelasayno25)
Summary:
James Potter casts his own spell to protect his only son; but he was never as good with Charms as Lily was. (A more ruthless Harry Potter grows up to confront Voldemort).HP/HG and then HP/HG/TN.
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Lucius Malfoy, Would-Be Murderer by TomHRichardson
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Nov 2023
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Summary
AU. Soon after Cornelius Fudge becomes Minister in April 1990, Lucius Malfoy tracks down Harry Potter to the wizard boy’s house on Privet Drive in Little Whinging. Lucius’s plot? To Killing-Curse three Muggles and the nine-year-old Boy Who Lived. Lucius’s evil scheme is three-quarters successful. Dumbledore bashing, pre-Hogwarts Harmony.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,887
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,361
- Kudos:
- 2,624
- Bookmarks:
- 701
- Hits:
- 93,939
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
23 Nov 2025
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Summary
AU. 5th September 1994—four days after Dumbledore has informed Hogwarts students that the school will be hosting the Triwizard Tournament this year, Harry plays a hunch and sneaks off to Gringotts. The news he hears is beyond bad. As soon as Harry’s temper cools, he begins to plan. Eight weeks later, on the day of the Goblet of Fire drawings, Harry carries out his plan. When the Goblet of Fire spits out Harry’s name, Dumbledore is shocked by what Harry does next.
This is an alt-universe H/Hr story that bashes Albus Dumbledore and Ron Weasley.
Series
- Part 3 of Harry's Fortieth Birthday
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,205
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 380
- Kudos:
- 4,193
- Bookmarks:
- 960
- Hits:
- 114,250
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
19 Nov 2025
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Summary
After his name came out of the Goblet of Fire, Harry woke to a disturbing reality. The wizarding world only saw him as an expendable pawn, his carefree attitude towards studying left him struggling to survive, and he had never truly appreciated the one, constant companion at his side—Hermione Granger. It was high time for change. Gradual Grey!HHR.
Illustrations for each chapter by Arishatistic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,827
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 2,022
- Kudos:
- 11,406
- Bookmarks:
- 3,750
- Hits:
- 334,634
Bookmarked by Jane Average (janeaverage)
19 Nov 2025