1 - 20 of 39 Bookmarks by functionally_immortal
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"We should talk about Eliot," Alec says, at the same time Parker says, "We should have sex in a hammock."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,697
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 331
- Kudos:
- 5,074
- Bookmarks:
- 1,202
- Hits:
- 52,699
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
15 Feb 2026
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If I Must Starve (Let it be in Your Arms) by Igneum807
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
17 Apr 2020
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Summary
The witchers of Kaer Morhen have never been comfortable with gentle touches. It just isn't who they are. But when Geralt arrives to spend the winter with his brothers looking more relaxed than any of them have felt in years, all due to the affection of a human bard, Lambert and Eskel grow curious. They wonder what it would be like to be touched or held without fear.
When Lambert runs into Jaskier in a small town in Redania, it's the safest he's felt in years. He and his brothers need touch and kindness more than they're willing to admit, and all Jaskier wants it to help , if only the witchers would let him.
Geralt and Jaskier are together, all the other relationships are platonic with a good helping of touch-starvation on the side.
Series
- Part 1 of If We Must Starve (Let it be Together)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,259
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 27
- Comments:
- 1,651
- Kudos:
- 14,709
- Bookmarks:
- 2,649
- Hits:
- 201,386
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
14 Feb 2026
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home is nowhere, therefore you by Ark
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
30 Jan 2020
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Summary
"Right, well," Jaskier says, when he halts before Geralt. Up close, he looks much more nervous. There is sweat on his brow and his collar is damp with it, and his teeth keep catching on his lower lip. "True love's kiss. There's—ah—there's nothing to it." And he bends, the utter imbecile, and kisses Geralt full on the mouth.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,134
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 849
- Kudos:
- 19,361
- Bookmarks:
- 4,127
- Hits:
- 244,393
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
13 Feb 2026
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The Accidental Warlord and His Pack - Recommended Reading Order by inexplicifics
Fandom Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
16 Feb 2026
Summary
This is the Accidental Warlord and His Pack series, reorganized in an order that makes a little more sense. It's not precisely chronological, since some of the backstories are set well before With a Conquering Air, but it should flow nicely.
If you're interested in talking about this series, please come join the Discord server!
- Words:
- 673,931
- Works:
- 54
- Bookmarks:
- 2,139
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
08 Feb 2026
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With a Conquering Air by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
28 Mar 2020
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From the kinkmeme: AU Warlord!Geralt receives Tribute!Jaskier as a sacrifice to appease him in every way possible. Jaskier has no choice on the matter and he’s fully aware of the awful rumours that have spread about Geralt and his ruthless conquests. (But we all know those aren’t legit.) A classic angst with a happy ending please! A dash of smut to heal those scars and a sprinkle of new found love!
Jaskier arrives at Kaer Morhen knowing his family gave him up without a second thought, and absolutely sure that the dreaded Warlord of the North will value him even less than his own blood did. But the White Wolf and his pack are not what Jaskier expected...and if he's unreasonably lucky, Kaer Morhen might become far more of a home than Lettenhove ever was.
...He is, in fact, going to be unreasonably lucky, because the Warlord of the North is a far finer monarch - and a far better man - than Redania's king has ever dreamed of being.
Series
- Part 1 of The Accidental Warlord and His Pack
- Part 1 of The Accidental Warlord and His Pack - Recommended Reading Order
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,880
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 70
- Comments:
- 2,389
- Kudos:
- 29,270
- Bookmarks:
- 6,683
- Hits:
- 730,716
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
08 Feb 2026
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Snow White and the Fae Co-Op by NiteWrighter
Fandoms: Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Schneewittchen | Snow White (Fairy Tale)
09 Dec 2025
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Summary
Snow White, as told in a seedy bar at last call.
Series
- Part 3 of Nite's Fairy Tales
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
03 Feb 2026
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Can't Pretend by orphan_account
Fandoms: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
26 Jan 2015
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Summary
A not-quite-friends-at-first with benefits story where our favorite awkward Commander ends up becoming a little fonder of one Dorian Pavus than he initially intended.
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He could’ve said no, really. Let life happen in the easy way it does, letting it herd him from one task to another through the Inquisition; busying himself with work and war and weariness. That’s what he’s always been good at, so why change something that he knew was reliable. That’s what Cullen told himself as a hand rubbed across the back of his neck, grabbing gently at the curls to bring his face closer.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
08 May 2025
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The Co-Stars, A Romantic Comedy by Ryan Reynolds by cyclogenesis (addictedkitten)
Fandoms: Actor RPF, Deadpool (Movieverse) RPF
21 Dec 2024
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Summary
Ryan is writing a gay romantic comedy to star himself and his good friend Hugh. This is a completely normal thing for him to do, so jot that down.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
01 Jan 2025
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When Margaret regards him from her position as his boss (former, technically, for corporate reasons, but functionally the power structure has not changed all that much), and evaluates Andrew's performance accordingly, it’s easier to ascertain his goals. What she would like, both as his boss and his partner, is for him to acknowledge those goals. To own up to what he wants. To own it.
“I think there are things you would like, sexually, that you haven’t brought up,” Margaret says.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
31 Dec 2024
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On the Path (it could have happened) by Verbana
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
11 Jun 2020
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Summary
What about all the other people Geralt could have hooked up with?
1. Good Game: Geralt has a few moves to show Lambert
2. Masquerade: Elven tailor Elihal gives Geralt a fitting
3. Toy: Geralt finds Philippa and her apprentice at play
4. Smolder: Siegfried struggles with the desires of the flesh
5. Dawn: At the Passiflora, Geralt hires a young man
6. Trouble: Geralt walks Rosa var Attre home
7. Hunters: Mislav invites Geralt to share a supper
8. Poetic License: Geralt and Dandelion discover new options
9. Acrobatics: Eveline Gallo is bored and flexible
10. Heat: A night in a cold cave with Hjalmar and Folan
11. Stripes: Vernon Roche needs to unwind
12. Ruin: Olgierd von Everec can feel again
13. Superior Steel: Geralt has a proposition for Hattori
14. Interlude: Anna Henrietta requests special services
15. Viper: Letho is big
16. Body: Vlodimir enjoys a break from the crypt
17. Fool's Luck: Priscilla is curious about Dandelion and Geralt
18. Captive: Iorveth interrogates- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,764
- Chapters:
- 18/?
- Comments:
- 328
- Kudos:
- 1,402
- Bookmarks:
- 174
- Hits:
- 34,190
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
25 Dec 2024
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Heart Exchange by jaskiersvalley (connorssock)
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
23 Oct 2020
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Summary
When Yennefer announced she had found herself a sub to go exclusive with, Geralt was left with few options but to follow her advice and go to a club to get what he needed. He didn't anticipate meeting Jaskier who was so very different to any dom he'd been with before. It was only natural that Geralt pushed the limits.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,993
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Comments:
- 1,198
- Kudos:
- 3,181
- Bookmarks:
- 731
- Hits:
- 74,517
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
25 Dec 2024
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Summary
“You know he’s not being a paladin at you,” Holga says.
Five times Edgin Darvis hated Xenk Yendar, and one time he didn't.
Series
- Part 1 of Counterpoint
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
01 Dec 2024
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Neither Have I Wings to Fly by Geese_In_Flight for Eccentric_Hat
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
25 Jul 2024
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Summary
The water is wide indeed, my love. Yet it shall not keep us apart.
With all my heart,
Xenk
Xenk never stops writing letters.
Series
- Part 2 of The Love I'm In
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
01 Dec 2024
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So Deep As the Love I'm In by Geese_In_Flight
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
21 Jun 2024
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Summary
Holga takes a step forward and claps Ed on the shoulder sympathetically, which is a terrible sign. “Swept you right off your feet, did he?” she asks, with a grin.
Five times Xenk courted Ed, and one time Ed decided to take matters into his own hands.
Series
- Part 1 of The Love I'm In
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
01 Dec 2024
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these little things (they can pull you under) by violet_pencil for Yoringle
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
31 Oct 2023
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Summary
Xenk has spent the last six hours in silent, intense meditation, and he still feels like a young squire does, the first time he falls off a horse in full armor. Undignified. Unsure of how to regain his footing. More than a little breathless.
Edgin Darvis has that effect.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,415
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 420
- Bookmarks:
- 51
- Hits:
- 2,151
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
01 Dec 2024
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To Touch The Divine by New1Romantic
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
01 Jun 2023
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Summary
Xenk asks for Edgin's help to retrieve an evil artefact from a cult. The fact that the cult is definitely just a front for the elite of Waterdeep to have kinky sex is, presumably, just happenstance.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
30 Nov 2024
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masonry and other noble pursuits by weatheredlaw
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
30 Jun 2023
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Summary
“I don’t do this lightly,” he said. “Take a lover and leave them.”
Ed arched into his touch, curling a hand around the back of Xenk’s neck and holding on for dear life. “Take,” he said. “Whatever you want. Whenever you’d like.”
Xenk kissed him. “I will,” he said, “and carry it with me. In my heart. Wherever I go.”
or: sometimes you make a magic item by accident. edgin keeps a stone from the beach, and falls a little bit in love after.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
30 Nov 2024
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talk in circles 'til i choke by thebookishdark
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
08 May 2023
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Summary
Edgin misses having the whole family together, so they go to Waterdeep for Kira's birthday. Along the way he discovers that he's in love with Xenk Yendar, actually.
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
30 Nov 2024
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Summary
“What’s our story, by the way?”
Xenk shrugged. “There is no story. You’re my husband, and we are asking after the relic.”
He saw Edgin fiddle with the silver band on his finger, the one they’d worn as a ruse on the island. Edgin smiled. “Alright. I can work with that.”
or: xenk once again finds himself running errands for the temple. sequel to "tenets of devotion".
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
30 Nov 2024
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To the Ends of the Earth by Moorishflower
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
06 May 2023
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Summary
"It is done," Xenk says. He holds up his own right hand to demonstrate, displaying the golden light that is already sinking into his gauntlet and disappearing beneath. "We are bound, you and I, until the magic is dispelled."
"What the fuck," Edgin whispers. He scrabbles at his sleeve, yanking it up to examine the faintly-glowing runes that have encircled his wrist. "What the fuck? What do you mean, bound?"
Sent by the High Harpers to retrieve a criminal to aid in a desperate mission, and authorized to use binding magic to ensure his cooperation, Xenk comes to understand and long for the former Harper agent Edgin Darvis during the tenday they spend in Icewind Dale, surrounded on all sides by ice, and cold, and endless lonely nothingness.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,885
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 172
- Kudos:
- 2,130
- Bookmarks:
- 513
- Hits:
- 16,187
Bookmarked by functionally_immortal
30 Nov 2024