1 - 20 of 39 Bookmarks by dirkjakefromhell
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There's no happy ending for people like us. We exist to be misery lit.
(Part of the DirkJake Big Bang 2021, with artwork by @mayceart)
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One of very few things that Dirk and Jake have in common is their distaste for long girl stories.
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"4.13: Any unaffiliated individuals harmed in the process of making The Deliveries will be transported to the North Pole for medical attention, whereupon they will not be released until deemed in good health by a medical professional."
Or, Santa Jake runs over Dirk with his sleigh, then takes him back to the North Pole. (For treatment. Really. The fact that Jake is insanely horny for the guy is completely unrelated.) Deeply unserious Christmas sex shenanigans ensue.
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“I think I’ll go to the audition, just to… Check things out.” So Jake’s made his mind up, then. You can’t help but wonder why he called, maybe he needed to rationalize this and you just made things a thousand times worse. You swallow and breathe in a square to calm down, which never works for you.
“Yeah, uh, okay. Cool. Good luck, man.” Smooth, Strider. Jake won’t suspect a thing, you really are amazing.
Nepo baby Dirk Strider is trying to date the love of his life as Jake deals with his dream for being an actor not being quite as good as he expected. Dirk's dad adds fuel to the fire.
Finished!
Series
- Part 1 of Significant Other
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
15 Oct 2025
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if i leave my grin behind remind me (that we're all mad here) (and it's okay) by the_ragnarok
Fandoms: Homestuck
28 Oct 2024
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Jake's life has gone very much downhill recently. He is dealing with it... badly. His ex's friend comes to check up on him.
Series
- Part 1 of autistic burnout
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Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
04 May 2024
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Don’t beat up your best friends robot. [[DISCONTIUED]] by orphan_account
Fandoms: Homestuck
22 Apr 2024
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Jake is sad and beats the shit out of brobot L
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
03 May 2024
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Terezi Pyrope <3 Dave Strider
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Terezi paused, contemplating what Dave had just said before abruptly licking his whole length, her gray tongue like fine sandpaper against his sensitive flesh. Dave’s breath caught as a wave of pleasure crested over his body, his heart beating like a caged bird within his ribs. Terezi gave a wide, toothy grin as a mischievous spark lite up her sightless eyes.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Growing up is all about learning. Learning who you are. Learning who other people are. And learning who they really are. On an asteroid, hurtling between universes, humans and trolls alike are just beginning to realize what is going on behind closed doors and in dark halls.
You are now Dave Strider. And you are dating an alien. Awesome.
Series
- Part 1 of Time-Bomb
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Terezi is determined to reciprocate Dave's going down on her in the closest way she can.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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((This, as anything before it are so old it pains me. I did hardly ANY writing to the story and will likely not continue it. Since it was a very rushed piece of work yet also my most popular- I hope to soon publish something a little less eye burning))
An evening out on the town with your moirail doesn't seem all that bad. At first it sounds like she would really love your company and has truly missed you. Though once finally being convinced it seems inevitable that things will always remain Pale. but who knows, maybe there is someone out there for you.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
27 Apr 2024
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orphaning this bc i literally wrote it when i was 15 about 15 year olds having sex. im an adult now, and kinda just do not want it on my profile lmao. My fondness for them still lingers though but i dont really wanna read/write abt them in that way now lmao.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
27 Apr 2024
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Passing time on the Meteor, Dave see's something disturbing, bothers Karkat, weird sexual tension abounds.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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==> Be DAVE STRIDER
Every things a bitch. Terezi isn't responding to your messages, actors are walking out and this blue eyed dork is distracting you. Most of all, your movie for your film course in college isn't progressing as well as you want it too. But hopefully with the help of a certain idiot, this might spiral into something else.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Suddenly, when everyone thought it couldn't get any worse, they all were trapped in the same high school as humans for the rest of eternity. Four years, rather, but what's the difference?
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
27 Apr 2024
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Dave and Terezi have messy food sex.
(Originaly posted 14-7-18)
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Knight Dave Strider is sent to slay a dragon, but Terezi has something else in mind.
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
26 Apr 2024
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Jake tries to heroically catch a shoplifter. The end result does not leave him feeling very heroic.
(The one where Dirk is a trans teen dad living on the streets)
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
24 Apr 2024
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DON JUAN MANLET KING by Tomatograter
Fandoms: Homestuck, Hiveswap, Homestuck 2, Don Juan Manlet King
13 Oct 2019
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Everyone already seems to have made up their mind about who Jake English is. God, notorious TV star, multimedia personality, proud owner of one of the largest techno-innovation companies on Earth C — And the world's finest ass. But despite his great rapport with the press, there's little to be said by the man himself. He's almost reached his eternal mid-twenties with nothing but faulty luck, a terrible track record on relationships, and a good dose of vodka under his belt.
Well, that is, until a bad trip brings about a manic nightmare milf from a dead universe.
[UPD8'S IN PROGRESS]- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,199
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Comments:
- 142
- Kudos:
- 1,167
- Bookmarks:
- 244
- Hits:
- 32,407
Bookmarked by dirkjakefromhell
20 Apr 2024