decalswan



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Fuck off, Nicky.”
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    “Hasn’t anyone ever told you spider-napping is illegal?”
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    “You can’t hold me here, I know my spider-rights.”
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    “God, you guys are so old. What are you? Like 27?”
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    “Scale of 1 to 10, how upset would you be if I told you I banged your mom?”
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    Or, I got my grubby little hands on the spider-man time line and fucked around a little bit. Not much (everything) changes.

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    14 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Everyone, get on the ground or I’ll gut you!”

    Midoriya isn’t very impressed by this threat, and as everybody in the restaurant scrambles down to the dirty tile floor in a hazy panic, he stares straight into the masked man’s eyes with a resignation that comes with being in customer service for far too long.

    “Sir,” he says, an all too wide and all too fake smile plastered tightly on his face. The masked robber gulps, the gun in his hands shaking ever so slightly. “This is a McDonald’s. Why the fuck are you robbing a McDonald’s.”

    The masked robber suddenly looks very unsure. Good for him, Midoriya thinks. He hopes the guy is sorting out his options properly right now. But, well, he has a job to do, so his smile widens almost painfully so.

    “So,” he says cheerfully, “will it be dine-in or to-go?”

    ( Or: All Midoriya Izuku wants is cash. Money. The green paper. The moola. The fat paychecks. Really, anything to help his mother.

    What he doesn’t want is a bunch of small-time (maybe big time) villains getting in the way of this. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get a say in this, and- ah shit, why are heroes here too? )

    Language:
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    15 Oct 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    who needs drugs when there is this fic