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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    15 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

    Another Hayden-Finds-Out, because we can't have too many.

    *now with the extra continuing Hayden-Rozanov friendship text threads*

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    14 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    @ESPN: Breaking: Ilya Rozanov has been traded to the Ottawa Centaurs.

    @hollanovtruther: who wants to bet Shane Hollander is to blame?

    Or how a high-profile trade sparks one of the greatest conspiracies in hockey history... that just so happens to be true.

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    14 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    When Ilya agreed to let Shane adopt a cat to join their family, he did not expect Shane to fall in love with a hairless cat named Pork, the fattest, meanest, and ugliest creature that the shelter had to offer.

    And he certainly didn't expect for Pork to be his sworn nemesis.

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    13 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It wasn’t that Ilya was jealous. It was just that…he sort of was.

    It's finally the off-season, and Ilya cannot wait for a perfectly boring summer at the cottage with his perfectly boring husband.

    Shane, however, has other ideas.

    (AKA Ilya gets jealous of a literal plant.)

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    12 Feb 2026