aureasaecula
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Shane Hollander gets blackout drunk and performs "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails shirtless on a table for an audience of traumatised/turned on hockey players and one (1) Ilya Rozanov who is having the worst and best night of his life.
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“Rozanov, back up.”
“Backing up,” Ilya said evenly, “But if he touches my husband again I will explore violence.”
The reporter cleared her throat. "Thoughts on playing against Montreal again?"
"They did not deserve Shane’s leadership." Ilya paused. "Certainly did not deserve his jawline."
Shane exhaled, resigned. "You are sitting next to me for a reason.”
“Yes,” Ilya agreed solemnly. “Leash.”
@DownBadInOttawa
There are FOSSILS less down than Rozanov. He is WHIPPED and PROUD of it.@MontrealDefenseSquad
we are getting destroyed by a guy who just publicly admitted his husband controls him. this is the worst timeline.When Ottawa faces Montreal again, Shane keeps it professional. Ilya absolutely does not.
Featuring: one infamous Hollanov Wikipedia page, a professional athlete with a marriage kink, and a fanbase losing its mind.
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- Part 3 of This Is Why We Have Media Training
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23 Feb 2026
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“I’ve been conducting surveillance,” Hayden said, steamrolling ahead. “Based on all available evidence, I’m ninety percent sure Lily is either a Bratva princess or some kind of supernatural hybrid who is manipulating Shane emotionally and financially.”
Jackie looked back at the building. All the lights were off.
“And as his friends,” Hayden continued, “we have a duty to protect Shane from her clutches.”
Convinced Shane’s mysterious girlfriend “Lily” is everything from a vampire to a cult leader, Hayden embarks on a spiral of wildly incorrect theories.
He is just trying to protect his best friend. Unfortunately, Lily is actually Ilya Rozanov.
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23 Feb 2026
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Shane reached out without thinking, his fingers brushing against the rough fabric of Ilya’s jacket sleeve.
Ilya flinched away. “Dun’ touch me!”
Shane blinked, thrown. “What the - ”
“I already have boyfriend!” Ilya declared, pulling his jacket around himself like a shield. “Are practically engaged!”
Shane just stared. “Ilya. It’s me.”
“Only my boyfriend may unwrap me.” Ilya announced. “Is respect.”
Ilya gets drunk and refuses to be touched by anyone except his boyfriend. Unfortunately for Shane, Ilya does not realize his boyfriend is the one taking him home.
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23 Feb 2026
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Ilya Rozanov and the Journey to Loving Pork Hollander by Nimming
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
23 Feb 2026
Summary
All my fics that include Pork Hollander will be added here! I originally planned on having the one fic but Pork is just so baby, he deserves more
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22 Feb 2026
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“Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”
“Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”
Hayden stops, so Shane does too.
“You don’t know who that was?”
Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer.
“Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious.
Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”
“At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke.
“He’s a porn star, man.”
“A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?”
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Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.
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21 Feb 2026