1 - 20 of 90 Bookmarks by ataripearl
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“Lily,” Hayden says automatically. “You know about Lily?”
Something flickers across Rozanov’s face. His jaw twitches. “Yes, I know about Lily.” He raises his eyebrows.
Hayden feels like a complete asshole, all of a sudden. There’s just been too much going on to even think about Shane’s mystery girlfriend. “Shit, I should probably, like, call her, or something? I don’t know this girl at all, but Shane’s been obsessed with her for years. If she was watching the game, she would have seen him get hurt.”
“You don’t need to call her,” Rozanov says, and when Hayden glances at him, he still looks fucking miserable but now he’s rolling his eyes, a much more familiar expression of disdain on his face. “She’s sitting right here.”
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Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov are waiting for Shane to wake up after he took a bad hit on the ice. They get to talking.Chapter 2: Ilya and Shane talk about what it means, now that someone knows their secret.
Chapter 3: Shane and Hayden hash out the big reveal.
Chapter 4: Ilya tells Svetlana the big secret.- Language:
- English
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- 16,005
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 1,779
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- 39,846
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Bookmarked by ataripearl
15 Feb 2026
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"Ilya had loved him through his worst moments. Ilya had helped him find a therapist when he’d collapsed on the floor of their hotel bathroom after losing a particularly brutal game, scratching at his chest. Ilya had held him, even when Shane yelled at him because there was panic crawling under his skin and he felt as though it might claw its way out. Ilya had told him it was okay; that it didn’t make him a bad player to resent the spotlight sometimes, that it didn’t make him a bad teammate to hate the team when they were too loud and too drunk and too physical, that it didn’t make him a bad person to need space to breathe. Ilya saved him.
And look what you give him in return. You’re a shitty husband, Shane Hollander.
You don’t deserve his last name."
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content warnings: discussion of mental health, depiction of a panic attack, depiction of invasive medical procedure, depiction of violence (generally non-graphic), use of hate speech, depiction of a hate crime
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,828
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 640
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- 2,441
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Bookmarked by ataripearl
13 Feb 2026
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you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own by playexodus
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
26 Dec 2025
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Ilya had realized it the moment he’d opened his eyes a few days prior, too warm under the covers to be comfortable. Nothing had even happened yet, but he'd felt immediately distant from himself. Like somewhere between sleeping and waking, he’d stepped out of his body and into another.
Bookmarked by ataripearl
13 Feb 2026
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tipping point by ultravioletdaydream
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
27 Dec 2025
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Shane said he would be home by midnight. Ilya only had to hold on for a couple more hours. He thought, fleetingly, that he wasn't sure how the day had spiraled so enormously out of his control. One goddamn day alone and he was at the edge of the abyss. Everything hurt.
Or:
Ilya navigates the expanse of his mental illness over the course of one bad day.
Bookmarked by ataripearl
13 Feb 2026
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Shane doesn't fall apart loudly. He spirals, shuts down, missteps. Ilya pays attention. He stays. He helps Shane learn what it feels like to be noticed without being corrected.
or, 5 times Shane needs help regulating his autism, and Ilya is there for him + 1 time Shane is there for Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,155
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 183
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- 8,658
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Bookmarked by ataripearl
12 Feb 2026
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During the 'easier' episodes Ilya can manage.
Usually he can gather enough strength to get out of bed, even if it's just to slouch around the cottage or outside. He'll eat whatever Shane puts in front of him. He'll put on a brave face when Yuna and Dave come over to visit. And then when the evening rolls around he's so exhausted he falls asleep around eight.
The 'heavy' episodes are harder.
Ilya will spend most of the day sleeping. He will eat small bites of whatever Shane gives him, sometimes nothing at all. Showering is out of the question. If it's a particular bad episode, he won't even leave the bed.
Shane is scared to leave Ilya alone during the 'heavy' episodes.
He knows Ilya wouldn't hurt himself on purpose. But he also knows that depression is very complex and sneaks up on their victims when they're most vulnerable.
Or, Ilya experiences a bad depression episode. Shane is there to catch him when he falls.
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know it's for the better / no, it's for the better by selfishambition
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
03 Jan 2026
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Ilya Rozanov has been carrying his mother's ghost since he was twelve years old.
Sochi is where the weight finally breaks him. Russia is eliminated in the most humiliating loss in their history, and their captain sits on a twelfth-floor balcony railing thinking about letting go.
Shane Hollander has a gold medal game in fourteen hours. He comes anyway.
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My take on season 5, episode 4 "The End" where 2009 Dean has a very different encounter with 2014 stoner Cas!
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20 Questions by stabthroughme
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
05 Jan 2026
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When the Centaurs' plane to Florida loses their engine everyone's fine, except for Ilya who'd been scratched by a broken bottle in all the jostling.
Shane hears the news, sees the report of "non-life-threatening injuries" and panics. Somehow, JJ manages to get them both to Florida before the Centaurs' game starts.
Series
- Part 6 of In The Loonie Bin (Mars' Hollanov Fics)
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other forms of intimacy by ultravioletdaydream
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
04 Jan 2026
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Shane and Ilya have a lot of sex. A lot of hot, intimate, dirty sex. But sometimes they don't. Sometimes, for one reason or another, they find more intimacy in the unexpected moments where their plans to fuck don't work out.
Or:
Shane and Ilya taking care of each other.
• • •
I: Shane Hollander has too much to drink.
II: Ilya Rozanov gets the fucking flu.
III: Shane Hollander suffers an Autistic shutdown.
IV: Ilya Rozanov misses his mother. -
between sex and death and trying to keep the kitchen clean by ftmsteverogers
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
07 Dec 2022
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"I don't get you," Dean spits. "I don't get what you want. Just — just tell me. I'm a big boy, I can take it."
"I did tell you!" Castiel exclaims. "I told you, and then I died!"
(In which Castiel is rescued from the Empty, Jack gives up the powers of God to be a kid again, and Dean overcompensates.)
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“Be straight with me. Did you also think I was in love with Cas?”
Eileen doesn’t startle, or refute him, and that’s answer enough. She shrugs. “It was hard to tell with you two.”
“I know you’re just humoring me,” he sighs, watching the coffee pot fill with dark ambrosia and standing to collect his spoils.
“Okay,” she relents, turning so she can still read his lips since his sign language sucks ass. “I thought you were both super, super gay.”
Dean chokes on his coffee. Eileen smirks.
***
A fix-it fic where Dean tries to honor Cas's memory by dealing with his issues, and then Cas comes back.
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Before Jack zips off to give world peace a try, Dean stops him. “What about Cas?” he says, less of an afterthought and more of a reminder that, hey, they’re sort of an incomplete family here.
Sam, catching on, asks, “Can you pull him out?”
The stare Jack levels them with is peaceful. “No,” he says, and Dean feels the earth shift beneath his feet for one very long second before Jack sets his gaze squarely on him, his eyes piercing. “But you can.”
(A post-finale fix-it fic where Dean doesn't die. Instead, he pulls Cas out of the Empty. Eventually, after the reunion, there's romance and a road trip, but not specifically in that order.)
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The Weight of the Quiet by DamnSterek
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
02 Jan 2026
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WARNING: the Long Game spoilers
WARNING: Depression and (passive) suicidal themesIlya navigates grief, isolation, and the weight of holding himself together, until he learns to let himself be supported when he can’t hold everything together alone.
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I don’t know why. by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
21 Dec 2025
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When Ilya’s depression rears its ugly head in a new way Shane is there to catch him as he falls.
Because everyone deserves a Shane to catch them.
!Ep 6/ The Long game spoilers! (Sort of)
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andante, andante (oh, please don’t let me down) by lovedays
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
24 Dec 2025
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It’s automatic, taking care of Anya like this. Despite the darkness in his head, and the pit resting in his ribs, Ilya manages to ground himself to her. Shane can be just as grounding, but it’s Anya that allows him to let his mind smooth out and focus on just about nothing.
Because if Ilya thinks of Shane, the worst thoughts always return.
OR, Ilya’s depression gets the better of him.
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Dean almost couldn’t believe it when he saw that huddled body swaddled in a tan trenchcoat sitting in the middle of the dungeon floor. Cas was back. After months of searching, digging through the archives to find a way to drag his ass out of the Empty, they had finally done it.
But something was wrong.
This wasn’t the Castiel that smiled up at him with a tearful goodbye after revealing his true happiest moment. This was a wild, snarling beast of a man, warped and twisted, feral thanks to the damage of the Empty. A man who would probably rip out Dean’s throat rather than confess his love.
Even when Dean breaks through that wild exterior, he discovers that Castiel still thinks he’s trapped in the hell that is the Empty. That nothing around him is real.
Dean just has to get through to him.
Inspired by: Broken - Seether
Series
- Part 4 of The Destiel Mixx Tape
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After Castiel confessed his love for Dean Winchester and was condemned to The Empty for eternity. After Sam and Dean Winchester save the whole damn world. (Again.) After all the people who were snapped returned, getting back to their lives never even knowing the world ended. After Sam and Eileen got together and Dean spent the required amount of time drinking himself stupid. After all that, Dean pulled Castiel back to Earth.
They may be covered in thick black ooze and years of Almosts and Maybes, but that’s all over now. They’re in the After, and in the After, they don’t have to be brave. They can choose to save each other instead.
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probably my longest kinktober one-shot so far 😭
another favourite fandom of mine🙂↕️ christ this kinktober has some variety.
we have bottom dean winchester chat!! crying his pretty eyes out!! destiel for life raahh
lmk if supernatural is a random we want to see more of 😋 enjoy!!
Series
- Part 5 of KINKTOBER 2025!!
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"'You’re pretty when you cry, you know that?' Castiel says softly. Dean bites at his lip to keep control of himself. 'Let go for me Dean, it’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe. Come for me.'"