Weirdwolfteaser
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Recent works
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The Thief: An unexpected Pirate. by Weirdwolfteaser
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
18 Jul 2025
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Summary
In a house, in the Shire, there lives a young Hobbit, Lady of the manor by day, thief by night. Well, until she retired.
She had become respectable, if strange, and convinced herself that she was perfectly content.
Until her Godfather had to come along and ruin everything, bringing with him a merry band of Pirates!
She wanted no part of it, no, thank you very much! But... Maybe she'd just... Listen to their story... Valar, that Captain was fit...
Oh, fine! She'd go, if only to save these sorry fools from themselves! And a dragon...
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On the Importance of Wands to Wizarding Society by Weirdwolfteaser
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Jan 2025
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Summary
Draco kind of, sort of, maybe has a thing for Harry Potter’s hands.
Or at least this is what some people believe.
In truth, Draco is actually very upset that not enough people are scandalised at Potter having stolen. His. Wand. And really, who does he think he is, parading around with another wizard’s wand?
Doesn’t he know it’s just not the done thing?
He has far more problems on his plate, like avoiding prison and escaping the many, many people who hate his guts. But this added irritation is just one thing too many.
Harry kind of, sort of, maybe has something called 'Survivor's guilt'.
Or, at least this is what his therapist thinks.
In truth, Harry has far too to deal with. And far too much time on his hands for someone who was meant to be dead. He shouldn't be concentrating on how much Draco Malfoy keeps staring at him.
But really, isn't this the most normal thing that's been happening since the dust settled?
He should be concentrating on anything else, like coming to terms with having a future to look forward to, and escaping the many, many people who fawn over him. But this added factor is one thing he can focus on.
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The Shirelings, a slightly expected Journey by Weirdwolfteaser
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
12 Nov 2024
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Summary
Bilbo Baggins has enough on his plate. He does NOT, I repeat not, need one of the Wizards showing up. He most certainly does not need The Company, and he does not need Thorin- oh. Oh my. Well, maybe he does need Thorin Oakensheild. Yes. Perhaps with a few less clothes? Ohh yes...
The one in which Bilbo belongs to a gang, and said gang goes tearing off across Middle Earth with The infamous Company and a meddling Wizard.
Series
- Part 1 of The Shirelings series.
Recent series
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The Shirelings series. by NerdyThorToast, Weirdwolfteaser
Fandom The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
12 Nov 2024
Summary
Bilbo has enough on his plate; he really does. And yet he let a Wizard convince him to follow one of the most dangerous gangs in Middle Earth with nothing but his closest friends.
Who said Hobbits were weak? They're going to punch whoever said it in the face, just as soon as they're done trying to save their Dwarves from Elves, Men, More Elves, Goblins, Orcs, Wargs, A giant Bear-man, and of course the Cat. Oh, and that Dragon.
After all that, how can they leave? These silly Dwarves would die without them, and they've put too much work into it for that to happen now!
So, they might just have to stay. And if one of them just so happens to become Consort to Thorin Oakenshield, it's just for his own protection.
What better place to guard the idiot than his bed?
But any way, that's a story that comes later. Enjoy.
- Words:
- 27,665
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone.
Their best isn't perfect.
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“Are you trying to get killed, Potter?” Malfoy drawls, stalking forward. Quick as a serpent himself, he reaches out and grabs the snake just below the head. It thrashes in his grip, but is no longer able to bite anyone. “This is a poisonous snake, and I doubt anyone brought a bezoar with them.”
Harry glares. He opens his mouth, and feels the beginning the snake’s language pass his lips, and this isn’t what he wants, what’s the point of insulting Malfoy if he can’t understand him –
Malfoy’s eyes widen. He slaps his hand over Harry’s mouth, “Potter, what the hell–”
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(Now with a TV Tropes page!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 530,377
- Chapters:
- 34/?
- Comments:
- 15,837
- Kudos:
- 67,645
- Bookmarks:
- 19,591
- Hits:
- 3,146,066
Bookmarked by Weirdwolfteaser
27 Jun 2020
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Summary
collection of different newmann drabbles/one-shots i've filled prompts with over on tumblr!
(rating + prompt + summary at the beginning of each chap)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 487,608
- Chapters:
- 382/?
- Comments:
- 459
- Kudos:
- 1,356
- Bookmarks:
- 97
- Hits:
- 35,778
Bookmarked by Weirdwolfteaser
14 Jun 2020
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Summary
After making love with him for the first time, Newton discovers something about Hermann’s former partners. To say that he’s not too happy about it would be an understatement.
Or Newton finds out that Hermann never topped in bed because his exes believed that his leg would render him uncapable to please them. Now it’s up to him to soothe Hermann’s insecurities.
Series
- Part 2 of Newmann Fics
Bookmarked by Weirdwolfteaser
14 Jun 2020
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Why isn't this self-explanatory? by DimensionWarper
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Captain America - All Media Types
29 Oct 2018
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Summary
Phil doesn't understand why these are even on the list of rules for the Avengers. He thought that the only teenager on the team was Spider-Man.
Series
- Part 1 of Adventures in the Self-explanatory Verse
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Summary
A chance meeting accompanied by the musings of a former burglar...
'...for dwarves above all are proud and greedy creatures, covetous and jealous of their rights in love as in all other things....'Series
- Part 1 of Burglarising