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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    For one, singular, blissful moment, nothing is wrong when Ilya wakes up.

    And then the bubble pops.

    With something less like a pinprick and more like a gunshot.

    --

    After Ilya is outed he has to deal with being the only openly queer player in the league, being Russian, and being in love with Hollander even after he ran away all at once. It sucks. He does it anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,149
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    276
    Kudos:
    1,825
    Bookmarks:
    581
    Hits:
    18,784

    18 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There’s no question that Shane is the best hockey player in the MLH at the moment. He's a generational talent on a level of his own. He's led the Boston Raiders to 3 Stanley Cups already.

    And he's lonely. It's never worked out with any of the women he's dated, and he's afraid he knows why.

    Then on Instagram, Shane finds this guy: a beautiful, trash-talking personal trainer with some real skills on the ice. Ilya Rozanov is a Boston resident, a hockey fan, and openly bi. Shane might be a little obsessed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,190
    Chapters:
    14/20
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    813
    Bookmarks:
    314
    Hits:
    12,889

    17 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 16

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    Summary

    Shane was just…staring at him. His face was flushed, and he looked unsteady on his feet. The fear started to creep back into Ilya’s thoughts. He shouldn’t have risked that. Fuck it felt good, but if anyone had seen them…he shook his head. He’d deal with that later. Right now he needed to focus.
    Shane was still staring at him. “What…how…?” Shane’s brows knitted together. He looked toward the mouth of the alley. “You…found me?”

    After their chance encounter at the club, Shane leaves devastated and alone. When Ilya gets a drunk dial from Shane he takes it upon himself to mount a rescue mission that ends up a little different than he planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,945
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,058

    16 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane was freaking out. Coming out to his team DID NOT go well. Instead of talking to his friends, or Rose, he calls Ilya.
    And then he follows his advice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,231
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    1,104
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    8,433

    16 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 54

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    Summary

    At the end of his first two years playing professionally, Ilya is not signed with Boston. After his surprise reentry to the draft, the Montreal Metros stun the hockey world by choosing Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander's arch rival, to join their team. Neither Ilya nor Shane are particularly happy with this arrangement.

    For Shane, he's spent the past two years trying very hard not to remember that awkward moment in the showers, when he sort of kind of got aroused at the sight of Ilya's ass, and then bolted out of the locker room without looking back, embarrassment hot on his cheeks. Having Rozanov around again isn't good for his mental and physical stability, regardless of how great they are on the ice together.

    For Ilya, he can't afford a distraction like Hollander right now, not after his career has been thrown into jeopardy. He can't be sent back to Russia, not now, so he commits himself to playing fantastic hockey and putting as much distance between the Metros prodigy and himself as possible.

    Too bad their coach decides to make them roommates on the road this season. That should go well, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,544
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    1,767

    16 Feb 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya creates a stan account for shane, shane decided to be messy and answer his tweets. The internet loses it's godamn mind

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,719
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    900
    Bookmarks:
    181
    Hits:
    5,783

    16 Feb 2026

  7. Public Bookmark 7

    Tags
    Summary

    In a world where Shane Hollander's hockey career did not survive the injuries given to him by Cliff Marlow, where he has found himself a successful real estate entrepreneur at the age of 40 and in a committed relationship with his boyfriend Nicholas, the yearning for a certain Russian man endures...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,190
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    329

    16 Feb 2026

  8. Public Bookmark 3

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane has a list of reasons he hates Ilya Rozanov. The way he talks. The way he stares. The way he keeps reinventing himself in rooms that have nothing to do with hockey, as if leaving things behind is just that easy.

    Loosely based on the poem from 10 Things I Hate About You, this is Shane's private inventory of grievances. It's a story about pride, distance, and the simple fact that some loves refuse to stay buried.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,638
    Chapters:
    3/15
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    184

    15 Feb 2026

  9. Public Bookmark 44

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander had a plan to confess his feelings to Rose Landry without embarrassing himself. Unfortunately, alcohol intervened, and Ilya Rozanov was the one who received the heartfelt confession instead.

    So yes. What a good fucking plan that was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,237
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2,838

    15 Feb 2026

  10. Public Bookmark 6

    Tags
    Summary

    What happens when one mistake destroys everything you want in life?
    Shane Hollander learned firsthand what pain is, and it wasn't even his pain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,658
    Chapters:
    7/15
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,906

    15 Feb 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Nothing feels right or good. Not the weight of his pads or the glide of his skates over fresh ice. Not the crispness of the rink air or the roar of a sold out Montreal crowd. Not his teammates’ triumphant shouts when he sinks a goal or cool water in his throat after a hard workout or well wishing texts from his parents before every game. It’s all just… faded.

    Grey.

    Empty.

    Shane doesn’t know how to bring color back into his life. Not when he leeched it out himself with every step he took away from the only person who has ever truly, honestly seen him.

    • • • • •

    After Shane walks away, his life falls apart one piece at a time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,527
    Chapters:
    13/20
    Comments:
    1,030
    Kudos:
    2,362
    Bookmarks:
    860
    Hits:
    53,550

    15 Feb 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov already gave up everything to be closer to Shane Hollander. But when the constant waiting, the hidden glances, and the weight of living in fragments finally snap, one fight exposes every crack they’ve ignored.
    Post-canon. Established secret relationship. Heavy angst, emotional confrontation, near-infidelity fallout, mental health struggles, and the raw, messy path back to choosing each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    11,702

    12 Feb 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 64

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    Summary

    Took place after Shane admitting his feelings for Ilya at the All-Star Game. Ilya reverted to his antics: they would continue texting for several days during the summer before Ilya continued his ghosting. No returned messages.c The push and pull used to be hot until it became frustrating and embarrassing.

    Shane finally had to end things between them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,686
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    6,690

    12 Feb 2026

  14. Public Bookmark 40

    Tags
    Summary

    He stares at Shane again, searchingly, before asking, “Does she make you happy?” 

     

    or, the one where Ilya follows Shane into the bathroom at the club, and everything else happens a little differently

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,193
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    2,479

    12 Feb 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Things between Ilya and Shane have changed, they both know there's more even though admitting it would not be a good idea. Their lives are about to be upended when Shane ends up in hospital with a concussion and fractured collarbone. But they can get through anything, as long as they are together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,979
    Chapters:
    14/22
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    900
    Bookmarks:
    239
    Hits:
    27,547

    12 Feb 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    ‘Was he? What you needed?’

    ‘No. I mean, sort of. But…’

    ‘Did he hurt you?’

    Shane didn’t answer. Instead, his gaze dipped to the floor.

    The blood drained from Ilya’s face. ‘Shane?’

    ‘Um.’

    Ilya’s fingers dug into the desk he was leaning on. He watched Shane’s face. That beautiful fucking face. The one he had to force himself not to stare at on the ice in case he got distracted. The face he had known since he was eighteen years old. Whether Shane believed it or not, there were few people who could read his face like Ilya Rozanov could.

    And he was reading the truth on it now.

    ‘Fuck. He hurt you?’

    //

    In which Ilya finds out that Shane's other sexual experiences have not been as safe or pleasurable as he deserves and decides to make things right.

    (Please check the tags, this might not be for you!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,030
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    1,553
    Bookmarks:
    426
    Hits:
    41,041

    12 Feb 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,254
    Chapters:
    20/30
    Comments:
    659
    Kudos:
    1,416
    Bookmarks:
    492
    Hits:
    35,590

    12 Feb 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I can’t do this anymore, Hollander.” His voice sounded steadier than he felt, and he was glad. "I don't want to do this."

    “I-Ilya, no. What do you mean? What are you saying?” Shane’s voice was panicked, frantic.

    “We are done, Shane.” Then, "Goodbye, Hollander."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,465
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    745
    Bookmarks:
    155
    Hits:
    14,302

    12 Feb 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Maybe he was naive, but Ilya always thought he had time. Time with Shane. Time to tell him what he truly meant to him.

    That, somehow, one way or another, Shane would always be there.

    But a text message late one night threatens to destroy the future that Ilya has spent the time carefully constructing in his mind.

    Maybe Shane wasn't always going to be there. That Shane would be cruelly snatched away from him before he had a chance to be honest.

    That he would be left behind. Alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,842
    Chapters:
    10/13
    Comments:
    1,223
    Kudos:
    4,948
    Bookmarks:
    1,933
    Hits:
    127,047

    12 Feb 2026

  20. Public Bookmark 40

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane gets attacked outside the club after episode 4. And it changes everything.

     

    “The police told us something. They said one person who witnessed the attack heard something.”

    “They find out who did this?”

    Yuna shakes her head. “No, not yet. They have some leads, but nothing solid.” She pauses. “Do you want to know what they heard, Ilya?”

    Ilya finally looks up at her. She has Shane’s eyes.

    “He was yelling your name.” Her eyes glaze over with tears. “He was calling for you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,174
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    2,207

    12 Feb 2026

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