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Sarcasm and Slytherin by orphan_account
Fandom Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
06 Jul 2019
- Words:
- 649,628
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 5,041
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
25 Feb 2026
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Summary
PART THREE OF THE DARKNESS SERIES:
The Riddles are in for a ride this year!
Learning the Unforgivables! Dementors! Azkaban! Threats to loved ones! The Wizengamot!
and of course, Albus Dumbledore and his people.Series
- Part 3 of The Darkness
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
25 Feb 2026
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Summary
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. Harry's curiosity leads him to exploring the Chamber a bit more thoroughly before he leaves for the Summer. What he finds there gives him a new responsibility beyond just himself and a lifelong satisfaction in the choices he makes from there on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 114,010
- Chapters:
- 56/56
- Collections:
- 74
- Comments:
- 2,310
- Kudos:
- 13,549
- Bookmarks:
- 5,351
- Hits:
- 330,713
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
24 Feb 2026
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Summary
Harry had had it up to here with everyone!
The entire Order seemed to have got it into their heads that Sirius was a danger to him and he was done with it all.
Harry was going to talk to Sirius no matter their opinion on the matter.
He was Harry's bloody Godfather for Merlin's sake! If he was going to be stuck in this dreary old house waiting for his trial then he was going to get to know what was left of his family dammit!- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,823
- Chapters:
- 15/?
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 897
- Kudos:
- 6,320
- Bookmarks:
- 2,641
- Hits:
- 171,177
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
Harry Potter finds himself hurtled back through time, landing back to just after World War 2 ended, more accurately, on the doorstep of Grimmauld Place...SLASH, MPREG Orion Black/Harry Potter Death meddles in the Master Of Death's fate once again...he must be awfully bored!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 433,316
- Chapters:
- 86/?
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 11,453
- Kudos:
- 34,284
- Bookmarks:
- 7,859
- Hits:
- 1,881,256
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
Harry Potter is a child fashion designer prodigy. His designer talents started at age 5 when he made his first dress for his Aunt Petunia using recycled fabric, her sewing machine (Petunia assisted), and a dressmaker dummy made from an old pillow. From there, and encouraged by his aunt, he took sewing and draping classes whenever possible after school or on the weekends. At age 8, he held his first collection show where he sold a number of his outfits to some wealthy celebrities.
This story is set during modern times; school starts 1 September 2021, Harry’s come to Hogwarts to learn magic but what he discovers isn’t living up to the hype. Very little in Magical Britain has changed from the turn of the last century (1900s)! Hogwarts especially is old and decrepit once you look past the initial shine. Bigotry runs rampant, bullies practically run the school when the teachers aren’t looking (or are ignoring.)
Harry reaches out to his aunt hoping that she’ll find him another school. This one letter starts unraveling some fraying threads…
Series
- Part 2 of Magic Crafters
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 164,857
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 1,164
- Kudos:
- 962
- Bookmarks:
- 380
- Hits:
- 50,581
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
First in the Black Queen series. Sirius searches for his goddaughter and finds her in one of the least expected and worst possible locations and lifestyles. How was he to know just how many problems bringing her home would cause? DARK and NOT for children. fem!Harry
Series
- Part 1 of Black Queen
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
11 Feb 2026
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New year (New me) by ICanStumbleOnStraightPavement
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Dec 2025
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Summary
Having successfully blackmailed their resurrected dark lord into becoming their dad (and then collecting all sorts of family members), Harry, Ron and Hermione have happily absconded to the other side of the oceanfor the school year. But what does that leave the ones in Magical Britain with?
(Chaos, as it turns out.)This story is part of a series. If you haven’t yet done so, check out the prequel to this: Congrats, it’s triplets (Now grab them and run)! We really veered off canon with that one. This won’t really make sense without it.
Series
- Part 2 of Golden Trio Dadoption
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
06 Feb 2026
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Congrats, it’s triplets (Now grab them and run) by ICanStumbleOnStraightPavement
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 May 2025
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Summary
It’s the first day after Winter break with snow quietly falling outside the large, gothic windows, though you can hardly get anyone to go out into the cold, especially this early in the morning. For the past week, Harry had been trying to scrape together all his supposed bravery that let him get into Gryffindor, and the current peaceful atmosphere of the mid-breakfast Great Hall really isn’t helping his nerves right now.
“Hey, Hermione?” he casually asks over the buttered toast on his plate he hadn’t touched since Ron put it there. His hands are cold and wet and shaking and he hates it. “Do you think I have any living relatives outside the Dursleys?”
***Or: what if the Golden Trio decided that fuck it, they are getting Harry out of the Dursleys? Which of course means that they need a way to do that, which results in an impromptu break-in into the Restricted Section, some questionable decisions, and… Accidental Parent Acquisition.
Because I’m a sucker for Parent Tom Riddle, apparently.
***HP doesn’t belong to me and I don’t own any of the canon characters or accidental quotes from the book.
Series
- Part 1 of Golden Trio Dadoption
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 314,647
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Comments:
- 2,576
- Kudos:
- 4,401
- Bookmarks:
- 1,562
- Hits:
- 231,350
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
Harry discovers that it is much easier to make Slytherins nice with love than with aggression. What was the saying again? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
What starts with a few random compliments and smiles quickly leads to hugs, lingering touches, a few kisses... but before he knows it, Harry is the one who wants more.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,716
- Chapters:
- 16/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 708
- Kudos:
- 3,157
- Bookmarks:
- 1,000
- Hits:
- 48,957
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
27 Jan 2026
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Wicked is the Blood by MandoVet
Fandoms: Addams Family - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
When seven-year-old Harry Potter speaks to a serpent in the London Zoo, he doesn’t just unlock a door; he draws the attention of someone watching. Morticia Addams, matriarch of the famously macabre Addams Family, recognizes the signs of suppressed magic and wounded potential. Upon discovering the boy’s name and the cruelty he’s endured, she makes a decision with all the grace and finality of a guillotine.
Harry Potter is coming home with them.
Raised among poison gardens, swordplay at breakfast, and cousins who play with guillotines instead of toys, Harry finds something in the Addams manor he never knew existed: a family that not only accepts the dark, strange parts of him, but celebrates them. Under the watchful eyes of Morticia and Gomez, alongside Wednesday, Pugsley, Thing, and the rest of the delightfully eerie household, Harry grows into something the wizarding world never expected.
Confident. Unafraid. Powerful.
So when Hogwarts finally comes calling, they are not prepared for this Harry Potter, and he is no longer alone...- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,781
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,629
- Kudos:
- 6,107
- Bookmarks:
- 2,105
- Hits:
- 127,581
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
27 Jan 2026
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Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce by imagitory
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hell's Kitchen (US TV) RPF, Hotel Hell RPF, MasterChef (US) RPF, MasterChef (TV) RPF, MasterChef (UK) RPF
24 Mar 2019
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Summary
Inspired by a post on Tumblr, this is a AU story set during Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, with one big, foul-mouthed difference. Instead of Horace Slughorn, the position of Potions professor will be taken on by...Gordon Ramsay.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 356,700
- Chapters:
- 99/99
- Comments:
- 8,245
- Kudos:
- 28,474
- Bookmarks:
- 7,452
- Hits:
- 1,221,254
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
26 Jan 2026
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Summary
Basically an alternative plot to my story Heritage.
If Jack had less of a conscious and instead was more inclined to indulge in that dark side. If he enjoyed the chaos and suffering he caused with his powers.
Note: This story goes along with the first and more just rewriting certain scenes with this perspective of Jack and will lag behind the main story to avoid spoilers in the main story.
Also MAYBE Davy Jones/Jack Sparrow later. haven't decided yet.
Series
- Part 2 of All My Pirates of the Caribbean Stories
- Part 2 of Heritage
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
23 Jan 2026
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Summary
Jack is not human.
Well not completely human. He has siren blood from his father's side and Incubus blood from his mother's. Which gives him a considerable bit of suggestive power over people. I mean, how else does he always seem to manage to get out of the situations he does?
This gift is nice and all most of the time, but it definitely has it's bad side. Like the frightening obsessive behavior some men have over him. How no matter what he does or how he tries to push them away they'll chase him to the ends of the earth. Men like Captain Salazar.
God he just wants to find his one true mate. Who he'll never have to worry about falling prey to his charm.
I know tags make it seem like Jack will be sleeping around a lot, but that's not the case. It's mostly just people being interested in him or flirting. So don't read with harem expectation. He only has 4 serious relationships that happen at separate times.
Series
- Part 1 of All My Pirates of the Caribbean Stories
- Part 1 of Heritage
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,879
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Comments:
- 203
- Kudos:
- 1,316
- Bookmarks:
- 212
- Hits:
- 31,825
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
23 Jan 2026
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Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
23 Jan 2026
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Summary
Jack has been pushing Barbossa's buttons for three weeks straight. Stealing his hat. Hiding his boots. Replacing his rum with seawater. Barbossa has endured it all with remarkable patience.
But everyone has a breaking point.
When Barbossa finally snaps at Shipwreck Cove, Jack does what any sensible man would do: he runs screaming to his father.
Teague is not amused. Well, maybe a little.
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
22 Jan 2026
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Summary
Marcus Flint doesn’t really know what to do with his life after his father dies; his father always told him what to do. So he consults a piece of obsidian, and it directs him to Harry Potter. And, well, Potter has friends, but he doesn’t have a husband…
Series
- Part 5 of From Litha to Lammas 2020
- Part 1 of Gems of Great Price
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,824
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 334
- Kudos:
- 7,757
- Bookmarks:
- 1,308
- Hits:
- 84,973
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
20 Jan 2026
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Summary
Harry has received comment after comment on his mother’s eyes during his first year at Hogwarts, but almost no one tells him he looks like his dad. When he opens the photo album Hagrid gives him at the end of the year and sees a man who looks like him standing with his parents in one picture—a man named Sirius Black—he begins to understand why.
Series
- Part 5 of From Litha to Lammas 2022
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,421
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 309
- Kudos:
- 6,503
- Bookmarks:
- 1,275
- Hits:
- 91,098
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
20 Jan 2026
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Ye be Warned by TheDeadGirlRisen
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
25 Oct 2025
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Summary
On the list of unexpected things, he was pretty sure being sent into the past by some magical creature topped the list. Even above finding out he was a wizard. But if he wanted to find his way back to Hogwarts, he'd just have to learn how to survive, even if that meant becoming a pirate.
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Harry ends up in the 1700's and finds himself meeting Jack Sparrow, who he ends up joining to try and find a way to return home to Hogawarts and his friends.
(Updates to resume around mid may, to mid june)Series
- Part 1 of Ye Be Warned
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
18 Jan 2026
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Ye Be Warned (Old Version!) by TheDeadGirlRisen
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
25 May 2025
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Summary
Harry convinced Dobby that faking Harry's magic wouldn't work. He thought that would get the house elf to leave. He didn't expect what the elf did next. “Dobby will just have to make sure that you can’t get to Hogwarts.”
With a snap of his fingers Harry found himself falling, and with a splash he was drenched.
It didn't take Harry long to realize he was in the middle of the ocean.
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In which Harry ends up in the 1700's and finds himself joining Jack Sparrow on his search for the Black Pearl. Will he ever be able to return home to Hogwarts and his friends?Rewrite Coming May 25th!
Rewrite: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65884768
Series
- Part 2 of Ye Be Warned
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,912
- Chapters:
- 26/?
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 1,190
- Kudos:
- 3,931
- Bookmarks:
- 1,273
- Hits:
- 81,931
Bookmarked by Solar_Convex
16 Jan 2026