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Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
19 Feb 2026
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Ed can set his clock by his period. Has been able to for 30 years.
Except now.
17 days after he let stupid fucking Stede Bonnet come inside of him.
17 days later, and four fucking days late for his period.
He better not be fucking pregnant.
He can't keep it. He totally can't keep it. It'd be insane to fucking keep it.
Except, maybe, if he keeps it... For a little while at least.... He could keep Stede?
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
18 Feb 2026
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Our saltwater solution reduces gravity’s pull by over 80%, ensuring you'll effortlessly stay afloat! We keep the water at a steady 36 degrees—matching your skin’s temperature. This blend of weightlessness and warmth blurs the lines between your body and the water, as your nerves can’t tell where you end and the surrounding environment begins.
Weightlessness. Yeah. If anything’s gonna be Ed’s cure-all, it’s gotta be weightlessness, right?
Ed’s carried around weight for most of his life. He’s tired. His muscles ache. His joints are all ground down to dust.
Also - the word solution is right there. Which proves it.
This is it. This is Ed’s solution.
(Or: Ed's on a wellness journey for his fuckass brain. It's not going great. The guy at the float tank place is being way too nice about it. Please mind the tags!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,036
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,189
- Kudos:
- 446
- Bookmarks:
- 118
- Hits:
- 13,193
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
09 Jan 2026
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A crew conducts a daring raid on the ship of the Mad Wizard Low, rescuing a man who's lost his memories. As Stede adjusts to his new life onboard a pirate ship, fleeing from the wrath of the wizard and trying to avoid the navy of the Immortal King, he tries to piece together what happened to him.
How long was he locked away? What did Mad Low want with him? And is he really just an average human mortal man?
Haunted by a recurring dream of a beautiful man in a raven mask and the burning conviction someone he loves very much is out there, Stede searches for answers, and begins to suspect he may have had a role in a failed magical ritual that plunged the world into chaos and flooding—held only at bay by the mysterious Blackbeard.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 141,187
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 198
- Kudos:
- 76
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 1,660
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
31 Dec 2025
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Darkness (noun): the partial or total absence of light by fishfronds
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Nov 2023
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Summary
Stede & Ed cave dive together.
(They do basically everything together, but diving was always the crux of it).As they map a previously unexplored section on a return to their first-ever dive spot, an accident leaves them with no choice but for one to leave the other behind in a barely-habitable, partially-dry cave and send rescue. Jim, Olu, Frenchie, Lucius, and Izzy get the rescue going, hoping to get to their trapped comrade before it goes from “rescue” to “recovery.”
LOOOOOSELY based on the true story of The Room of Three Miracles in Sa Piqueta Cave.
Please give so much props to my AMAZINGLY Skilled artist, who you can find on Tumblr @googoogojob <3 <3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,454
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 151
- Bookmarks:
- 60
- Hits:
- 2,164
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
10 Dec 2025
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And it's not until they're leaving, an hour later than Stede thought he would be, talked out and yet with so much more to say, and they both grab their coats and they both stand in the street, that he thinks, oh no.
Because Ed is glancing down at Stede's lips, and he's rocking on his feet.
"So…" Ed starts. "I had a great time."
"Me too." That much is true. And now Ed is going to say something about the day not having to end just yet, or invite Stede back to his, or make a move, so Stede takes the reins. Steps forward, plants a dry kiss against the warmth of Ed's cheek, just above where his beard stops. "Safe journey home!" he says brightly, and turns on his heels.
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
09 Dec 2025
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Summary
Stede signs himself up for his first long-haul voyage in response to a job listing that boasts "a soft onboarding with a taste of adventure."
Instead, he finds a greenhouse in disrepair, a dead body, and a much more charismatic ship than advertised.
((No OFMD characters were harmed during the making of this fic. tbh this fic is way more pining and romance than it is scifi.))
“I know,” Ed says, quick and, if Stede's not mistaken, a touch defensive. “'Course I know. I'm the smartest thing on this ship. I am this ship. Just curious 'bout your... expert opinion, I guess.”
“Well, Ed, I'm hardly an expert.”
“Aren't you?” Ed says, the slightest bristle to his tone.
“I'm good with plants,” Stede concedes with a little sigh. “We understand one another.”
That, and plants have always appreciated Stede better than any human ever has.
Series
- Part 1 of Star Crazy Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,405
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 395
- Kudos:
- 304
- Bookmarks:
- 81
- Hits:
- 5,269
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Come help me find an apothecary nearby,” Ed calls to Lamp, who’s still laying in front of the door. Ed pulls up the Conjure browser on his phone and searches for apothecaries in his area. There are a dozen or so results that pop up by the time Lamp has reluctantly left his post by the front door and flopped down next to Ed on the couch, pushing his head under Ed’s arm so he can look at the search results.
One of them jumps out immediately: “Stede’s Stupendous Shop of Spellcasting Sundries,” Ed reads aloud. What the fuck is that name? It’s fascinating and hilarious. Ed needs to go there immediately. He looks up reviews for the shop, and they’re either 5 stars or 1 star, nothing in between. He checks one of the 1-star reviews — left by someone supposedly named Calico Jack, which is a weird name — and it starts with, “There’s this angry chicken, right,” and Ed stops reading there because that sounds like the coolest fucking thing he’s ever heard, and he wants to experience it for himself.
~
Stede's a lonely apothecary owner looking for love. Ed's a jaded potions master looking for his place in the world. This is how they find what they're looking for in each other.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,826
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 500
- Kudos:
- 569
- Bookmarks:
- 188
- Hits:
- 6,933
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
02 Dec 2025
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Adopting a secret cat in a no-pets-allowed apartment building is one thing. Kissing the new property manager after he discovers your secret cat is another.
Learning the property manager thought he was straight until you kissed him and accidentally sent him into a tailspin—well, it's a weird twenty-four hours for Ed Teach.
So: friends. Friends, he can do. Friends, that's easy. Except there are mochas, and there are movies, and there's this whole queer discovery he's helping Stede navigate, and there are a hell of a lot of chocolate muffins.
Sometimes the journey is the most important part.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 272,637
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 2,052
- Kudos:
- 1,074
- Bookmarks:
- 170
- Hits:
- 54,420
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
28 Nov 2025
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Summary
It's a small, salt town.
There's not a lot of bright and beautiful to be had.
But Stede, oh, she's bright and beautiful, and Ed's been wishing he could have her the whole five years they've known each other.
And then he finally does.
Just his luck that it only lasts a day.
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
28 Nov 2025
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I Want to Know What Love Is by aloc, BookknobsandBroomsticks
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Nov 2025
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Summary
Stede’s been bringing his queer book club to Ed’s bar for a couple of months now, and Ed’s been nursing a bit of a crush (okay a lot of a crush) basically since the moment he walked in. He doesn’t intend to act on it, doesn’t really think Stede would be interested in him anyway, but then he overhears them talking about their most recent book - a smutty romance that Lucius picked. Stede didn’t enjoy it, doesn’t think relationships like that exist in the real world. That all-consuming, ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’, desperate wanting. And, well, he can’t have that. Stede might just be the guy of his dreams, so if nothing else Ed knows he can show Stede what it feels like to be wanted.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,627
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 149
- Kudos:
- 182
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 1,882
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
11 Nov 2025
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- Words:
- 84,463
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
05 Oct 2025
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Summary
Ask anyone: Edward Teach is the greatest pro surfer in the world. Or, he was. Now he’s retired, and burnt out, and okay maybe possibly dealing with a bit of untreated clinical depression. He hasn’t stepped foot in the water in almost two years—can’t even bring himself to go for a dip in the private pool at his fancy apartment complex, although not for lack of trying. Enter: Stede Bonnet. Also known as Pool DILF. Also also known as the love of Ed’s life. And love makes us do crazy things. Like maybe pretending you don’t know how to swim so your crush will offer to teach you.
What could go wrong?
A Reverse Big Bang collab with Sailor's Ruin!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,748
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 875
- Kudos:
- 478
- Bookmarks:
- 97
- Hits:
- 8,132
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
23 Jul 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet owns a fancy yarn shop in a cosy little seaside town. Life is mostly peaceful, a bit stressful, often lonely—then the empty shop next door is taken over by a leatherworker with kind eyes and a surprising fondness for cashmere, and everything changes.
- Words:
- 350,752
- Works:
- 27
- Bookmarks:
- 278
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
12 Jul 2025
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Summary
Ed knows nobody can beat him at a paper plane challenge, so when Stede ties with him for the furthest throw in a trivia night between-rounds challenge, he's intrigued. They're dunked into a four-round tiebreaker of paper plane contests to declare the ultimate winner.
As they get to know each other round by round, it turns out there's more to gain than glory...
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
30 Jun 2025
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Summary
Arachnologist Stede Bonnet has finally found a rare spider that he's been seeking for a long time, and it marks the beginning of a whole new phase in his life. What better way to commemorate it than to get a tattoo from a brilliant artist? Unfortunately, it turns out that tattooist Ed Teach is severely arachnophobic.
Against all odds, that might make them even more perfect for each other...
Series
- Part 10 of Silly Spicy Sweet One-Shots
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
25 Jun 2025
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Summary
Stede reaches out towards Ed then, and gives him a squish. And from the way Ed's new form moves under his hand, all the puzzle pieces click into place and he realises what has impossibly, inexplicably, happened.
He is the cylinder cat.
That Scottish man is a fucking witch or something, and has moved Ed from his body into the cylinder cat. Fuck.
Ed's mind has been transferred into a cylinder cat plush and he learns that he's worthy of unconditional, reckless love in the process.
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
06 Jun 2025
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Summary
Stede and Ed's relationship ended months ago, but Stede hasn't been able to let it go. He's amazed when Ed agrees to participate in The Ex-House with him, sharing a tiny house on live television for six weeks to win the grand prize.
“Hello, Edward!” he says, forcing brightness. Remembers to look at his face - two seconds at a time is perfectly acceptable, look at the face, not directly into the eyes - tries to remember to turn his lips up into a friendly smile. Behind Ed, the door whooshes closed again and leaves them in silence.
Ed’s fully clad in leather, which is always a good look for him. Slight hint of eyeliner. One arm bare, showing off the winding snake tattooed into his skin. Beard trimmed short. Hair up, as well, properly styled. Small silver dagger earring dangling from one ear.
He looks unapproachably hot. The kind of guy that would skim over Stede without a second glance. The kind of guy that would sniff out Stede’s oddness in a second and push Stede down as a way to lift himself up. There are probably people watching on their televisions right now, wondering how the hell the two people in this room were ever together in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of The Ex-House
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,131
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,298
- Kudos:
- 516
- Bookmarks:
- 123
- Hits:
- 8,480
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
04 Jun 2025
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Summary
Stede was buried under a pile of blankets, his side table a mess of used tissues and half full mugs of tea. “Oh baby…” Ed murmured and found himself on the receiving end of a red eyed glare.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Stede’s voice was nasal and gravelly, his nose looking raw and red. He looked miserable and Ed couldn’t help reaching out to cradle his cheek.
“Holy fuck, Stede.” Before he was even touching him, Ed could feel the heat radiating off of Stede’s body. “When was the last time you took your temperature?”
“Oh to hell with you, Dr. Teach,” Stede said through his teeth, waving Ed’s hand away and looking immediately exhausted. “I’m fine.”
“You’re absolutely not.” Ed pressed his hand to Stede’s forehead, alarmed at how dry he was despite what he would guess was a temperature of at least 102. “How long have you been like this?”
“Go away.”
Or: Ed and Stede break up and the Stede gets the flu
Series
- Part 20 of Bea's one shots
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
26 May 2025
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Summary
Ed's apartment is infested with spiders. Stede just wants to be near his kids. When they discover the apartment they both want is only available to couples, there's only one thing to do—pretend to be in a relationship to hoodwink their landlady into renting them the one-bedroom apartment. No one is normal about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,301
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,414
- Kudos:
- 533
- Bookmarks:
- 104
- Hits:
- 12,417
Bookmarked by Leftyliz90
21 May 2025