Joserich



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    21 Feb 2026

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    To be clear, Ilya is grateful the rookies aren’t growing up the way he did in the NHL. Ilya took the hazing to the chin – humiliation rituals, beat downs, grueling practices to prove he could “hang” with the big guns on the team.

    That being said, there’s still some part of Ilya that balks at the request by the gaggle of rookies to watch The Iron Giant, a veritable children’s movie at the team’s latest movie night.

    OR: Five times Shane and Ilya were the support system for the Centaur rookies they dreamed of having when they were younger.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    31 Jan 2026

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    MLH Tracker @MLHTracker
    rozanov81 (Ilya Rozanov) started following 3 and unfollowed 0:

    ✅ montrealmetros (The Montreal Metros)
    ✅ shanehollanderofficial (Shane Hollander)
    ✅ metrosworst (Worst Metros Plays)
    ⏎ 55 ⟳ 39 ♡ 732

    rozanov defender @gremlinroz
    ... alright who told ilya about the mlh tracker
    ⏎ 0 ⟳ 10 ♡ 63

    lea @rozanovsss
    getting ready for the game on thursday i see... masterful trolling
    ⏎ 5 ⟳ 1 ♡ 37

    The history of Hollanov, primarily as seen through the MLH Tracker on Twitter.

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    28 Jan 2026

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    Lily: Well. There is very interesting studies I have read recently.

    Karolina: We’re listening!

    Lily: Research shows that abstinence can significantly improve athletic performance. Testosterone levels, energy conservation, mental focus. All better with sexual abstinence.

    Jackie: Wait, seriously?

    Lily: Oh yes, very serious research. Professional athletes should abstain completely during playoff runs. Some studies suggest 6-8 weeks for optimal results.

    Satu: SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS?!

    When “Lily” gets added to the Montreal Voyageurs WAGs group chat, she comes armed with peer-reviewed research, vibrators for everyone, and one revolutionary idea: a playoff sex ban for optimal athletic performance. The WAGs are convinced it’s evidence-backed science, the team is suffering, and Ilya is having the time of his life watching his handiwork unfold.

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    21 Jan 2026