IronicallyPresent



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “The deal's already gone through,” Ron confirmed gravely. “Harry, it's Lord Slytherin. Slytherin bought the whole club.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,094
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    374
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    102
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    05 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    745,575
    Works:
    4
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    592

    30 Dec 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Must finish reading!

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It had taken Tom quite a bit of trial and error to figure out how, but he had finally worked out how to exploit their shared horcrux connection and send Harry false visions and dreams.

    For a few weeks now, Harry had been waking up every morning to a rush of pleasure, soaked pajama bottoms, and Tom’s name a broken moan on his lips.

    Tom would give Harry a knowing look in the morning as he drew open the bedcurtains. Harry would be blushing furiously and unable to meet Tom’s eyes, with the evidence of his wet dreams from the night before still smeared across his stomach. Dreams that Tom had been both the subject and the source of.
     

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,071
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    1,922
    Bookmarks:
    318
    Hits:
    27,924

    07 Sep 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The Joker, mid-sip of his Diet Killer-Coke, blinked at the horde of Jokerized fries staring him down.

    One fry—a particular fry, taller than the others, with a bent, crispy edge like a villainous mustache—stepped forward.

    The leader.

    It pointed a greasy limb at the Joker and screeched:

    IMPOSTER.

    Danny watched, horrified, as the Jokerized fries rushed the booth like a swarm of angry, ketchup-covered piranhas.

    The Joker barely had time to say, “What the f—” before he was tackled under a wave of his own deep-fried doppelgängers.

    Or,

    The food in Batburger comes to life.

    [Inspired by a tumbr post.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    222
    Kudos:
    3,415
    Bookmarks:
    543
    Hits:
    19,604

    02 Aug 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in?

    Petunia was jealous, selfish and vicious. We will not pretend she wasn’t. She looked at that boy on her doorstep and thought about her Dudders, barely a month older than this boy. She looked at his eyes and her stomach turned over and over. (Severus Snape saved Harry’s life for his eyes. Let’s have Petunia save it despite them).

    Let’s tell a story where Petunia Dursley found a baby boy on her doorstep and hated his eyes—she hated them. She took him in and fed him and changed him and got him his shots, and she hated his eyes up until the day she looked at the boy and saw her nephew, not her sister’s shadow. When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a toy car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    32
    Comments:
    1,046
    Kudos:
    31,736
    Bookmarks:
    6,667
    Hits:
    262,624

    13 Jul 2025