HMS_Gunner



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    "We noticed that tonight's game was a bit rough. Are there any lingering emotions that affected your game tonight?" asks another reporter.

    "I played to the best of my ability, just as I always do. My goal is always to leave personal problems off the ice," Shane replies diplomatically. Then he flashes a sliver of a smirk. "I can't speak for anyone else, though."

    Series
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    16 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

    They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

    It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

    Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

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    12 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    05 Feb 2026

  4. Rec *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

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    03 Feb 2026

  5. Rec 88

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    “I sleep better when it’s cold,” Ilya said stiffly, jaw tight. “I have always slept better when it’s cold.”

    “And I sleep better when I don’t feel like I’m camping in the Arctic,” Shane snapped back without hesitation.

    “Valid,” Holmberg murmured from the back of the room, earning him two simultaneous glares.

    Troy leaned forward, peeking out from behind Dykstra, clearly feeling brave. “Have you tried… I don't know… blankets?”

    ------

    OR: The first husbands of hockey find themselves in a rather ridiculous argument, and the team organises a parent trap. Which (kinda) fails, depending on how you look at things.

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    03 Feb 2026