Elpinice



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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

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    23 Feb 2026

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    “Fuck you,” Marleau says, through breathing, wheezing laughter. “I didn’t almost die—”

    The flat of Shane’s tongue presses, hard, against the head of Ilya’s cock. Ilya narrows his eyes. Oh, I see, he thinks flatly. To the extent that there had been anything to forgive, Ilya is fairly certain that Shane had immediately forgiven his little stunt during the call with Pike. He had neglected to remember, however, that Shane’s mind tended to plan on a scale of weeks, months, or years, and that forgiven did not necessarily mean forgotten.

    Shane gets payback for the phone call with Hayden.
    Sort of.

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    22 Feb 2026

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    “You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.

    Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”

    “You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.

    “Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”

    “And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”

    “When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”

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    27 Jan 2026

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    Hollander as an opponent has always been focused and precise and an absolute nightmare for a defenseman, the kind of player you dread facing.

    Hollander as a teammate is…well, he’s still focused and precise, and intense about every drill and lift and film session to the point of being more than a little intimidating.

    Hollander on five-and-a-half beers and just as many chalupas is something else entirely.

    OR,

    The Centaurs get to know Shane Hollander.

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    22 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    No one is going to win a Pulitzer interviewing him, and Shane is okay with that. He spends most interviews rephrasing the same five sentiments--I’m happy we won or We need to work harder after that loss.

    They are a good team; the win was hard fought or They are a good team; there is a lot for us to take away.

    And finally: I love playing on this team, for our fans.

    Then Ilya Rozanov bursts into his life, and answering questions becomes a little more complicated.

    or: Shane Hollander, interviewee, throughout the years.

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    17 Jan 2026