Chapter Text
It wasn't like Keith hadn't expected this to happen. It wasn't like his life wasn't a literal train wreck all hours of the day, so why would night be any different, right? All he'd wanted was a calm night in with his friends, listen to Hunk and Pidge argue over the schematics of a robot they were trying to build, maybe try to convince Shiro that of course mothman is real, look at the evidence Shiro! Later on him and Lance would get into some bullshit argument that would have nothing to do with what the actual conversation was about, and Keith would pine over how passionate Lance would get when he'd yell or how Keith could see the faded freckles across his cheek because the man had no concept of personal space when his "honor" was on the line.
But that wasn't the point. No, the point was Keith was stuck with this dumb crush that was quickly spiraling out of control and it was all because of Lance. If the idiot had kept his mouth shut, Keith wouldn't be going over every interaction in his head a million times over and wishing he'd done something sooner.
~ 4 Months Ago~
"Can I tell you something?" The streetlights flashed overhead as Keith tried to concentrate on driving a slightly inebriated Lance safely to his house just across the highway from Lance's place. The air in the car got felt heavier for some reason, and Keith knew that Lance wasn't just talking out of his ass right now, he had something important to say.
"Yeah man, go for it." He could feel a pause from the other, so Keith tried to flash the other a small smile. Whatever Lance needed to say, he was nervous about it, which made Keith a little worried.
"I-" A pause. "I just wanted to say thanks, for being my friend. You know?" They'd pulled into Keith's driveway, and he shifted so that they were facing each other in their seats. Lance was hunched in on himself a bit, making his normally larger than life presence, small. His face was still staring out the front window, eyes trained on some faraway thought. "I know that sometimes I can be a bit much, and I always pick fights with you, but" He looked at Keith now, expression as if he was in pain, and Keith tried to soften his own to make the other feel more comfortable. "but you're always there when I need help, like some sort of friend ninja." Keith let out a huff of laughter and the corners of Lance's mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. "This past year has been rough man. Like, there were times when I didn't know if I was gunna make it through. But you were always there just when I was ready to give up... so, thank you."
It was weird, how little Keith actually knew about what Lance had been going through, and yet just by being there for him had made Lance hang on a little longer. The knowledge that Keith had been only a few minutes away from Lance going berserk sent his head spinning. What was he supposed to say to that? Sure he'd helped in a few of Lance's slumps, brought over some conspiracy movies and gone to Applebees for half apps at 11 just to get him out of the house, but had it really been much? There could've been more, Hunk or Pidge knew Lance better than he did for sure, but here he was, saying thank you to Keith of all people.
"No problem man. It's what friends do." Lance smiled and Keith was about to say something more, when suddenly Lance threw open the car door and vomited all over the driveway before passing out. So much for that bonding moment. Keith got Lance inside and tucked him into the makeshift bed of duvets, quilts and pillows before heading to bed.
This is where it all began.
~2 Months Ago~
"C'mon! Keith we need to get these camouflage pans for when we go camping!" They were at Walmart shopping for a few last minute camping trip supplies (by last minute he meant, Lance wasn't prepared so they had to buy literally everything before they went camping in an hour with everyone and he'd decided to drag Keith with him). They'd bought an air mattress, cooler, grilled cheese supplies and almost everything Lance deemed absolutely necessary for their escapade.
"Well we do need a pan for the grilled cheese but wont the fire burn off the camo-"
"We're getting it!" Lance cut him off by practically throwing the thing in the cart and almost smashing the bread in the process. Without waiting for a response, he grabbed the cart from his fingerless gloved hands and sped away, laughing so loud people were giving them dirty looks. The laughter was contagious and Keith had to stifle it as he gave the surrounding spectators apologetic looks.
"Is this what it'd be like if we got an apartment together?" Lance only laughed as he hauled everything to the self- checkout, a sigh escaped him as he checked the time. They had half an hour to get to the campsite and set up before everyone else got there, and it was a hour drive there.
"Dude this is gunna be what it's like when we're married." The sentence rang in Keith's ears as Lance kept ringing everything up. His face suddenly on fire and he hoped the other wouldn't notice his sudden tomato impression.
"We're getting married now?" A smirk tugged on his lips and tan hands fumbled with the carton of eggs, almost dropping them to the floor.
"Y-yeah! Best married friends!" His voice broke a bit on the word "married," but other than that Lance's composure was once again his usual boisterous self. "Dude we should get like matching cactus tattoos."
Keith raised an eyebrow. "Cactus tattoos? Why should we get matching cactus tattoos?" He took the plastic bags from the cart as Lance pushed it with the rest of them.
"Because, Mullet," His tongue enunciating and drawing out each syllable, "a cactus is like a physical representation of our relationship." There was a pause and the Cuban looked at Keith expectantly but when he was met with blank confusion he sighed exasperatedly. "You know, a cactus is all spine-y and you shouldn't really mess with them, like people shouldn't mess with us 'cuz they'll get a pretty nasty surprise. But they've also got really pretty flowers sometimes and can withstand some tough shit." He smiled, proud of himself for the analogy as they loaded the bags in the trunk. Keith couldn't help but be a little impressed, it was kinda perfect for them. It was obvious Lance expected retaliation in some form, but was left open mouthed and blinking when all Keith said was, "Oh, okay. Sure sounds cool." He stayed outside for a solid thirty seconds as Keith got in the car, staring at the space where the other had been.
"You coming or am I going to have to tell the others I broke you?" The yell out the window snapped Lance back into action, all shouts of protest and goofy hand waving as he ran to the car door.
Keith had never been more excited about a tattoo in his life.
~Two Weeks Ago~
"I used to have a giant crush on you."
The sentence was said so casually, like Lance was telling Keith about the weather and hadn't just caused the butterflies in his gut to get into a fist fight and almost go into cardiac arrest. But he had to keep his cool, any sign of shock would just cause a relentless slaughter of teasing that Keith honestly wanted to avoid. So he went with his go-to response to just about anything.
"Really?" They were currently sitting in the darkness of Lance's car listening to music and smoking a couple cigarellos. It was something they did every once in a while when the stress of life got just a little too heavy and they were sick of being home and too broke to do anything else.
"Yeah. I mean, i didn't really realize I was Bi until you came along to be honest. Like, I had a giant crush on Shiro but everyone has a crush on Shiro, even if you're the straightest dude in existence. He's just that hot." They both laughed as Keith ashed out his window and tried to avoid direct eye contact. Because, man, did he have it bad for the asshole sitting next to him. But Lance couldn't know that, they were best friends and anything else would ruin it. Plus, Lance used to have a crush on him, it didn't necessarily mean he still felt that way.
"I'm not surprised, I am pretty hot." Keith laughed as the other choked and hacked on an inhale, sputtering his protests.
"Yeah but you have a mullet. A Mullet, Keith! That's like, the literal worst hairstyle to ever be invented!" The nicotine made Keith relax into his seat as Lance went on and on about the worst fashion in the history of Earth, which led to a debate about the pros and cons of parachute pants, and soon the confession was long forgotten. Until Keith drove back to an empty apartment and was left with it echoing in his head for the next two weeks every night.
~Present Day~
That's why it was all Lance's fault. because ever since the weird "thank you," Lance had been giving weird hints and flirting and planting the idea into Keith's poor conspiracy theorist brain that they'd be it be a good idea, that they would be a good idea. The past few months had turned from rivalry to flirting matches and occasional hand holding in the car during smoke time and even in the dead of night when they'd crawl into Lance's obnoxiously tall oversized bed and cuddle. They'd never talk about it, but it lingered in the back of Keith's head every minute they weren't together. Even worse was what had happened just hours ago.
~~~
They'd been laying in Lance's bed talking, poking fun at each other and laughing. Keith couldn't tell you what he'd said that'd made Lance to tell him to shut up, but he could give you a seven page essay on what happened next in detail and how it would fuck him up for the rest of eternity.
"Shut up!" a hand pushed against his shoulder in the dark, they were so close that Keith could map out the freckles on Lance's face and count his eyelashes individually. The words flew out of his mouth instinctually.
"Make me." It felt like they were in an airlock, the atmosphere changed drastically, charged with... something Keith couldn't name.
"Maybe I will." Lance's voice came out in a hushed whisper, making the room once filled with their giggles feel extremely quiet, a pin could drop and Keith wouldn't have heard it over the sound of his heart thudding against his ribcage.
Suddenly lips were on his, hands on either side of his face. It felt like Lance was rushing at him with everything he had, like he didn't have the time to relax and slow down. Before Keith could even register what happened and even try to reciprocate, it was over, leaving him star stuck and blinking rapidly.
"Oh fuck what did I just do! Shit shit shit." Keith's eyes stared at Lance's back, and it was like his brain had been rebooted. Everything screaming at him to help Lance.
"Hey, it's okay dude. I, I didn't mind it." Lance whipped around, his eye frantically searching Keith's face before sitting up ramrod strait. Everything about this was wrong, this wasn't supposed to have happened, he was supposed to have kissed back, and they'd cuddle and coo and get together and hold hands and Keith could tell people Yes that handsome man is my husband, isn't he funny? Oh excuse me sir, that excited Cuban is my boyfriend please stop flirting with him. Lance shouldn't be panicking, shouldn't be on the verge of a nervous breakdown googling I kissed my best friend what do i do.
"No it's not okay, Keith! I just kissed you! What do we do?! Oh God I've ruined our friendship. What do we do now?!" His words were running together too fast and Keith barely understood what was rapidly flowing out of Lance's mouth in hysterics.
"Hey," The panicking continued as if Keith hadn't spoken. "LANCE!" His throat felt raw and he realized he's screamed, frightened blue ocean eyes were locked on him, attempting to calm is nerves he took a deep breath.
"You didn't ruin our friendship." A swift glare cut out the noise of protest Lance opened his mouth to make, before continuing. "You didn't. Okay? Lets take it slow, figure out where we want to go with this. You probably don't feel like dating after that controlling jerk Sendak, so lets just go to bed and make a decision in the morning, okay? A soft nod was his only answer before Keith touched Lance's shoulder and nudged him back onto the bed. Their legs tangled together and Keith held Lance tight as the other trembled from the after shocks of his panic. Mumbled goodnight's bounced across the room and slowly sleep overtook Lance. But Keith was wired, listening to soft snores and thinking of tomorrow, what would Lance choose? Would he say the same thing as now? Did he regret it? What if he hated Keith in the morning? The thought made his stomach churn, he didn't fall asleep till four hours later when the sun was just beginning to turn the sky red and glow through the curtains. They'd talk about it when they woke up.
Except they didn't. When they woke up, Lance pretended nothing happened. Keith tried not to show his disappointment when his friend wouldn't look him in the eye, and he tried even harder not to be hurt when Lance flirted with the cute gas station clerk as they purchased some coffee.
~~~~
Weeks passed. Weeks turned into a month and Keith was left in the wake of a Lance who either avoided him by dropping off the face of the earth or when he was around, flirted relentlessly with anyone they could find. Except Keith of course. And anytime they were alone he desperately looked for an out, without even trying to hide the fact he was avoiding Keith. He'd asked Shiro for advice, cried for hours while the man patiently rubbed his shoulder and handed him tissues.
"I just don't know what to do, Shiro!" He threw his hands in exasperation. "He disappears and then when he comes back its always with someone new to introduce to me. It's like he's trying to prove something. And everytime I try to talk about what happened, he clams up. His face gets all unreadable and he won't talk for hours, sometimes days on end." The older man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while Keith stared at his bedroom wall. He was so empty, he couldn't even cry anymore. "And I thought maybe he'd gotten over it a few weeks ago. He was normal again, flirting with me and I don't know, i thought maybe-" His throat hurt as his voice broke, leaving the cinderblock in his chest feeling heavier. "I don't know what I thought. Because last week he fucking goes and introduces me to Nyma. Who the hell is named Nyma anyway?"
"I don't know what to say Keith, except give him time. He probably just needs to get it out of his system before talking about the two of you. Patience with him will be hard, but you gotta give him some time." Keith looked ready to say something but Shiro cut him off. "He's probably afraid of the change it might bring between you two." He was right, as always, but that didn't mean Keith was going to be happy about it.
He let out a long sigh before resting his head in his hands. "Okay Shiro. I'll, I'll give him time. I promise, whatever he needs, i'll give him."
With that, the subject was dropped and they went to get dinner.
He tried, he really did try to give Lance time, but it was so hard seeing them together. The Cuban was always inviting Keith along on their adventures, laughing full and loud like he used to do with only Keith. He even gave her that soft smile that Keith had to dig out after a few too many late night confessions. It was painful, seeing him give everything that used to be reserved for Keith alone to some stranger. Lance kept trying to set Keith up with Nyma's buddy Rolo, like he was trying to push Keith away, and as frustrating as it was he let him. He held Rolo's hand, kissed the man even though all he was thinking about was Lance doesn't have a lip ring, Lance didn't kiss me like that, Lance Lance Lance.
"Keith," They were driving with no destination, like they used to before... The Incident.
"Yeah?"
"I think Im in love with Nyma."
It was like the world and dropped out from underneath him, he could feel his heart thudding in his chest. There were no tears though, but he knew they'd assault him later when he dropped Lance off. There was a moment when Keith considered yelling at him. When he wanted to kick and scream, pull the car over and punch in the face because, how could you love this girl you've known for months when I've known you for years?! How COULD YOU FUCKING DARE YOU SELFISH BASTARD.
It was a moment before he realized Lance was looking at him expectant and almost hesitantly, as if waiting for an answer. He looked so hopeful, and waiting for... for Keith's approval. He was happy with her, and while that thought hurt like a thousand knives being shoved into his chest, Keith had promised Shiro, promised himself, that whatever Lance needed he'd give. And right now, Lance needed his approval of Nyma.
"That's really cool man. I'm happy for you." A blinding smile lit up the entire car and it made the butterflies flutter even harder that before. But Keith could also notice the sort of hollow disappointment that was in the shadows of Lance's eyes. It confused Keith, like Lance always seemed to do.
They drove in silence the rest of the way, and Keith would be lying if he said he hadn't needed to pull over on the side of the road because his vision was too blurry, and after two hours he gave up and called Hunk to come pick him up. Hunk wanted to go to Lance's house and smack the shit out of him but Keith held him back, telling him to leave it be. Because Lance was happy, and really, that's all Keith wanted for him. So Hunk stayed, and listened to Keith's broken sobs, made tea and invited Pidge over to watch Mothman documentaries. Shiro came by every other day to make sure Keith was okay, but never once did they tell Lance what was happening. Keith would never forgive himself if Lance broke up with Nyma because Keith was selfish.
And a year later, when Lance asked Keith's opinion on a ring for her, he told him it was beautiful.