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Since as far back as Shane could remember, he’s been obsessed with hockey.
There’s really no better word for it. Hockey consumes all aspects of his life and was definitely the most important thing to him for many years, just short of his parents. That was— until he fell head over heels for a certain Russian boy.
A Russian boy who just so happens to have the most beautiful curls Shane has ever seen, and he doesn’t even use any products to upkeep them. Whose eyes Shane has found himself lost in countless times, completely mesmerized. Who has the softest heart that he keeps mostly hidden, only letting a handful of people see that side of him. And of course, who throw insults around as if it's his favorite pastime, grinning as he no doubt spikes the blood sugar of everyone around him.
Needless to say, Shane never stood a chance at keeping things ‘strictly professional’.
Despite his now husband firmly securing his number one spot on Shane’s ‘most important things to me’ list, hockey remains a major part of his life. It definitely helps that his soulmate also plays hockey as his job and they’re on the same team.
Shane would like to think that it’s this obsession he’s always had with hockey that pushed him to be as good of a player as he is. But, aside from hockey, he’s also had a few other strong interests over the years that aren’t as publicly known.
***
On Shane’s 5th birthday, he was gifted his first Lego set by his late grandmother. It was a shark looking submarine and he loved it, despite not caring for sharks nor submarines. He still remembers being so proud when he finished building it all by himself in just a couple of hours. The set stays displayed on the shelf in his childhood bedroom to this day along with multiple other sets he had collected over his childhood.
He appreciates how the instructions for Lego sets are always so detailed and easy to follow. They truly allow for no gray areas of uncertainty, something he can’t say the same of when it comes to other parts of his life.
Social interactions in particular, have never been his strong suit. He thinks he handles them well enough since he had to do a lot of media work as the captain of his former team. Through years of experience, he knows generally what he can and can’t say to remain likeable and respected. Even though he never quite understood why he had to make eye contact to show that he’s listening. Or why people didn’t always just say what they mean, ask what they want to ask.
Ilya never made Shane feel like he had to put up an act in front of him. Despite being rivals, he’d never make fun of Shane’s quirks— with any real malice anyways, even when chirping. As his boyfriend, now husband, he’d always been vocal of how much he adores Shane even with him being particular about certain things. On top of that, he’s always willing to accommodate to his needs and makes it look like it took no effort at all doing so.
Ilya, for all intents and purposes, is the perfect, supportive spouse. And there really aren’t many secrets between the two of them. Not anymore. Ilya of course knows about Shane’s Lego collection. He’s even helped Shane build a few sets as a way to spend more quality time together. He partly knows about Shane’s obsession with the overall Lego brand too.
But a small but loud part of Shane’s brain can’t help but to wonder, what if it was all an act?
What if Ilya was just tolerating Shane’s, quite honestly, abnormal obsession with these kids' building blocks because he feels like he has to as his lover?
***
Perhaps to his detriment sometimes, Shane Hollander never does things half way.
He plays hockey? He must be one of the best players, if not the best, in the world.
He should date a woman? He’ll date the hottest actress at the moment.
He finds out he’s gay? He did so by having a secret relationship with his fucking franchise rival that eventually ends with them being married.
So naturally, since he is interested in Legos, he buys as many sets as he can fit in their spare room, regularly watches Lego focused content creators, can recite the set numbers for his favorite sets and their release dates by heart, keeps up with new set launches through social media and newsletter updates, just to name a few. Not to mention, he still keeps up with some Lego shows in his free time when he’s alone and no one can judge him.
That is, until Ilya comes home early one time from his therapy session.
***
“Solnyshko, I’m home!”
Shane, so engrossed in his show on the TV, only vaguely registered Ilya unlocking their door and entering the house.
He’s lying on their couch in the living room, face craned left and eyes focused on the screen. Anya stirred under his arm, eager to greet her other father. Shane lets her go and it doesn’t take long for her to leap into Ilya’s arms.
“Aww, who’s a good girl?”
Ilya cooed as he petted Anya’s head softly a couple of times. He then leads her into lying down in the space of the floor in front of Shane, between the couch and their coffee table. Ilya himself sits down beside Anya but turns his body slightly so that Shane could lean down and give him a kiss.
Not needing Ilya to say anything more, Shane connects their lips in a passionate kiss. It doesn’t progress more than perhaps Ilya was hoping for as Shane’s attention returns to the screen.
“What are you watching, moy lyubimyy? It is a kid’s show?”
“Yeah. It’s a new sequel series to a show I watched when I was younger. They look like that cause they’re supposed to be Lego figurines.”
Ilya looks a mix between amused and confused, although he doesn’t ask Shane to elaborate. Shane shrinks into himself a bit.
Maybe Ilya will make fun of him?
Who still watches cartoons in their thirties?
“I just threw it on for nostalgia sake. Wanna watch the last episode of ‘The Last of Us’? I wasn’t paying much attention to this anyways.”
That was a lie. But Ilya doesn’t need to know.
“Oh yes! I cannot wait for the final. People on twitter are already talking about it.”
Shane smiles at his husband’s excitement and hands him the remote. Ilya, distracted by his new task to switch the channel, doesn't realize how the smile doesn’t quite reach Shane’s eyes.
It’s not like Shane doesn’t want to finish The Last of Us. He and Ilya had started watching the episodes together each week as they dropped and the series is apparently super popular. Shane always appreciates Ilya helping him be more aware of what the general population is into these days. It helps him feel less left out since he’s more in the know, as Ilya puts it.
But at the same time Shane had been looking forward to catching up with Ninjago ever since the teasers of this new season dropped. This season introduced a couple of new characters and he had been enjoying their interactions with the older cast. It's okay though. He can finish catching up some other time.
***
“Sweetheart, what are you doing?”
Shane was sitting in their office. For the most part, they don’t use their office space much. Shane sometimes opts to answer business emails there, but he’s equally, if not more likely to do that in their bed or on their couch.
Shane, hearing Ilya’s voice call out to him at the doorway, turns his chair around revealing an incomplete Lego build in his hands. In its current state, Ilya could not really tell what the end result was supposed to be like yet.
Before he could ask, Shane explained promptly, “I decided to build some decor for the office shelf. I know we don’t use the space that often but I figured it will help it feel a bit more homey? I had the extra bricks so and I already made a new cup for our pens—“
Shane was rambling.
That usually means he’s nervous and trying to justify himself. From Ilya’s perspective that’s ridiculous because he doesn’t give a shit about the house feeling ‘homey’ or not as long as Shane is happy with it. If his husband wants to build some new decorations, there’s really no reason to feel the need to defend his choice to Ilya.
So, Ilya cuts in, “that is a great idea Shane.”
“What are you building then?”
Shane fidgets slightly with the bricks in his hands. “I was trying to build a miniature Anya.”
“Zolotse, that’s such a cute idea! Can I help?”
Shane’s face lights up. “Yes, actually. I was going to search it up but maybe I just need a fresh set of eyes.”
Ilya moves into the room to stand beside Shane so that he can get a better look at what he’s dealing with. There’s a variety of bricks all sprawled out on the desk but sorted neatly by their type.
“I’m trying to figure out how to give this Lego Anya her ears. Do you have any ideas?”
Now equipped with the knowledge that the thing in Shane’s hand is supposed to be a dog, Ilya can see the vision.
Alternatively, he’s just helplessly in love and whatever Shane says he’ll believe it blindly.
The jury is still out for that one.
“Can’t you just place these pieces like this?”
Ilya takes a smooth, flat piece and moves to snap it between the stubs of the brick acting as the top of Anya’s head. Shane, seeing this, instantly swings the Lego Anya away from Ilya’s grasp.
“That’s an illegal building technique Ilya.”
What is an illegal building technique? Ilya doesn’t think there’s much you can do with Legos that go against the law. It’s not like they’re hurting anyone, no? It looks like no matter how many years he lives in North America, it will never cease to confuse him in some ways.
His confusion must have shown on his face since Shane continues to explain, “an illegal building technique is when what you’re doing is actively stressing the bricks. It takes away from the longevity of the bricks and might damage them over time. The definition was first popularized in 2006—“
Shane’s voice grew quieter as he went on, confidence wavering, eventually fading out completely. It was clear he wanted to say more but he abruptly cut himself off.
“Um. So basically, yeah, we can’t do that.”
Ilya frowned at his husband’s sudden change in demeanour.
“Or actually, who cares. We can do that. It’s not like we can’t afford new ones even if they break, right?” Shane forces out a laugh even though it physically pained him to do so.
“Right…” Ilya goes with it even though internally he is still trying to piece together what just happened.
***
Ilya tucked Shane into bed, leaving a kiss on his forehead before retreating to their washroom to take a shower. He must have taken longer than he thought because by the time he returns, Shane is no longer in the loopy state he was in earlier. Instead, he’s sitting up now, brows furrowing at what’s on his phone screen.
“What’s wrong moy lyubimyy?” Ilya slides in under the blanket beside Shane and Shane instinctively shifts to make space.
“It’s nothing… it’s just I was going to get this Lego set of the Disney castle but apparently it just retired last December.”
“How can it retire if it’s not a human being?”
Shane lets out a small laugh. “For Lego it just means they’re discontinuing it. It’s metaphorical.”
“Ah, I see.” Even after living in North America for half of his life now, sometimes slang or figurative language can still trip him up from time to time, especially when he’s tired.
“You are surprised they retired this one. What makes them decide which ones to retire?”
Ilya takes Shane’s phone out of his hand and places it on their bedside table. Once the phone is safely put aside Ilya practically throws himself into Shane’s lap. Shane automatically starts to comb his hand through Ilya’s slightly damp hair.
“Well, usually they test the popularity of sets for 18 to 36 months then retire them. But this set was around for 6 years, so I thought I would have more time before they discontinued it since it’s already been around for so long.” Shane explains.
That sounds sort of counterintuitive but Ilya at this point is so relaxed in his husband's arms he could only muster up a slight nod in acknowledgment. He really is interested in what Shane has to say but he also feels himself quickly losing the battle against sleep.
“You’re not listening to any of this, are you?” Shane asks softly with no malice behind his words.
“It’s okay. Sleep, Ilya.” Was the last thing Ilya heard that night before he drifted into a dreamless slumber.
***
Ilya was out having lunch with some teammates when Shane went down a spiral he couldn’t get out of.
The day started out like any other. Shane made them both breakfast, they went on a walk together with Anya, and went to the rink together. Since they only had morning practice, a couple of the guys decided to go out and get lunch together. Ilya, the ever social butterfly, and because “I’m the captain. Of course, I need to be there!” went with the group while Shane returned home by himself.
Don’t get him wrong, he loves the guys. Everyone had been so accepting of him when he first transferred and they’re somewhat like a second family to him now. But, his social battery for the day was practically drained already and he’s been trying to be better about saying no instead of just roughing it out because that’s what he ‘should’ do.
Ilya didn’t even bat an eye at his decision. He kissed him goodbye, telling him he’ll take some leftovers so Shane could try the food later. Shane’s relationship with food had gotten way better over the years. He’s still strict but he also allows himself to have whatever he wants now as long as it’s with moderation. Since he’s used to it, he generally gravitates towards healthier foods anyways, so it all works out.
***
Shane spent the first hour back home vacuuming around the house in complete silence, which Ilya calls him a psychopath for, before settling down on their living room floor with a new box of Legos. He opened all the plastic bags then organized the pieces into groups by their packaging number. The instruction book is laid open directly in front of Shane and Anya is sitting at his side, observing with great curiosity.
He made considerable progress with the set before the first thought popped into his head.
Did Ilya want him to be there like the Halloween party all those years ago?
But this time it’s different, Shane reasoned with himself. Everyone already knows that they’re together.
Still.
He probably would have liked it if Shane joined him. Ilya always likes showing Shane off. Especially in front of the other Centaurs because no matter how much they complain, all of them are genuinely happy to see the couple together.
Rather than spending more time with his team and husband though, here Shane was playing with Lego bricks by himself. A toy for heaven’s sake! That was Shane’s chosen source of entertainment.
How much more boring can he get?
He then thought about how much he’s been rambling about Lego adjacent things. Surely Ilya doesn’t actually care about what sets are retiring, right? What normal person would?
Shane doesn’t know how long he sits there for without moving a muscle, stuck in his head. Eventually, he comes to his senses, puts the Lego back into its box and places the box back into his cupboard of unbuilt Lego sets.
Then he heads into their office, opens his laptop and works on some, to be frank, pretty non urgent administrative tasks for their charity. He definitely could have paid someone else to do more efficiently but he needed to do something productive with his time now or else he might just shut down. He’s in his thirties now he should really act more like it.
Perhaps get a more suitable hobby. Something like golf? Plenty of the guys do golf in their spare time. He could probably join them sometime?
Shane should have put on some music earlier.
***
When they were snuggled in bed later that night Ilya had innocently asked what Shane did when they were apart.
“Not much. Just vacuumed the house and checked over some things for the charity mom sent over.”
“That’s all? You didn’t start the new Lego set you wanted to build?”
Oh right. Shane had offhandedly told Ilya he was looking forward to doing so whenever he had free time alone next.
“No. Just felt like being more productive today.”
“Sweetheart, you are always productive. It is okay to take breaks and have fun.”
“Y-yeah. I know.”
“Next time build your Legos okay? I can ask Yuna to send me more work for the charity.”
“It’s okay—”
Before Shane could reveal something he’ll regret, he forces himself to pull away from his husband’s touch and leave the room. Once he got to the doorway he awkwardly turned back briefly to give Ilya some kind of explanation.
“Uh, I forgot I promised Hayden I would call today. I’ll be back.”
Then he was gone.
***
The house is much colder than he thought it was. Or maybe he just didn’t feel it under Ilya’s warmth.
Shane makes a mental note to turn up the thermostat later as he rushes to their spare room.
He does actually call Hayden— that is after his mini panic attack. Although his best friend wasn’t expecting it, he picks up within a few rings. They catch up for a bit, it’s not too late that he will be asleep quite yet.
Their short chat successfully distracts Shane for enough time to calm himself down before he returns to the bedroom.
The previous conversation, effectively cut off when Shane left the room, was not revisited that night.
***
Ilya prides himself on being an expert in Shane Hollander. He’s had almost a decade to study him after all. So when Shane so obviously did not have plans to call Hayden that day Ilya knew something was wrong. More specifically he had probably done something wrong because Shane felt the need to lie to him.
Regardless of the fact that Ilya wanted to do nothing more than run into the other room and ask Shane what was wrong, he decided to give his husband some space instead.
Needing to do something, Ilya reaches for his phone, opens TikTok and starts mindlessly scrolling to distract himself. After seeing some memes, which he sends to Troy. And hockey highlights, including a beautiful goal by Shane which he adds to favorites. Ilya comes across a TikTok about the new Lego flower set that Ilya has never seen before.
Strange.
He hasn’t seen it displayed somewhere in their house or heard Shane mention it at all despite it apparently dropping on the first of January. Upon further investigation, even more flower themed Lego sets dropped last month as well. Now that he thinks about it there hasn’t been any deliveries recently which means that Shane hasn’t even bought the sets.
Did he not know about the new sets?
Impossible.
Shane always keeps on top of his Lego flower collection, which he started back in 2021. He’ll buy the sets as soon as they dropped even if he doesn’t get around to actually building them until the summer. In fact, Ilya is pretty sure Shane is subscribed to the Lego newsletter for this exact reason.
Even if he somehow missed it when it first came out, it’s March now. Surely at this point Shane would know about the set’s existence. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money to just buy it the moment he sees it either. So, what’s stopping him?
Ilya goes to the Lego website and places an order for Shane. He figured it would be a nice surprise for him if he somehow, miraculously didn’t know about the new sets. Even if he had bought them already though and Ilya just missed it, he could always just give them to Bood’s kid.
***
A few days later, things have mostly gone back to normal in the Hollander-Rozanov household.
Except it’s nothing is normal.
On the surface they still wake up together, go to practice together, smile and joke around together, go home together, cook together, and of course do some less wholesome activities together too. But underneath everything, Ilya can tell Shane has been on edge.
Shane usually thinks before he speaks, that part is not surprising. Ilya has actually been trying to make his husband ease up on the overthinking. And Shane has been making some progress over the past year or so, which makes this new development all the more upsetting.
It feels like for the past three days Shane has started actively censoring himself around him. He’ll give shorter answers and cut himself off if he talks for more than a few sentences at a time.
Shane has never been a particularly chatty person. Ilya, sure out of the two is far more extraverted, but he doesn’t feel the need to talk all the time either. Especially when it’s just the two of them, both are perfectly content with sitting in complete silence from time to time. This situation though? Has never happened before and Ilya feels out of his element.
***
“Shane? Can we talk? It’s serious.”
They had just gotten back from practice, Shane fishing for their front door keys in his bag when Ilya sprung this on him.
“Um…sure? Yeah. What’s up?”
Shane managed to find the keys and open the door. They both entered the house, put down their gear and Ilya locked the door behind them.
“What is wrong? You have been acting weird.”
“What do you mean by that, Ilya?” Shane tries his best to sound calm although he kind of already guessed where Ilya was going with this. He takes off his shoes and places them on their shoe rack, eyes avoiding his husband’s gaze. He knows if he looks at Ilya now everything will spill out.
“Exactly that Hollander. You are acting weird around me and I don’t know why. I am not a mind reader you know? Tell me what is wrong.”
Ilya also took off his shoes at some point. Shane would kill him if he stepped into their house with dirty, outside shoes. He closes the distance between the two of them swiftly and holds Shane’s hands.
Shane shrugs, “it’s nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s not nothing.” Ilya says firmly. He kisses the back of Shane’s hand to soften to blow but it’s clear he won’t let this conversation go.
“Okay. Fine. Why I’m acting so weird? Maybe I’m just weird. Sorry to disappoint.” Shane mumbles the last part all in one breath like he hasn’t meant for Ilya to hear it.
“What are you talking about Shane? We are all weird. We let other men body check us for a living.”
“Then that must mean I’m even worse. Even out of a group of weird people I don’t fit in.” Ilya isn’t sure where Shane is going with this but he can tell it’s not a good place.
“You’re perfect. The team loves you, your fans love you, your family loves you, I love you. You fit in where it matters so who cares about everyone else?”
“You really don’t think I’m childish for wanting to play Legos by myself instead of hanging out with teammates?”
Oh.
Oh.
So that’s what this was about.
“Yeah, you’ve always been supportive. But on the inside you must think it’s juvenile right? Like I think, sure, you like hearing me ramble about it sometimes to an extent—“
“No. I love it when you ramble. I always tell you it is cute. And I am not lying.”
That definitely gets a reaction out of Shane, who is now turning the prettiest shade of pink, freckles becoming even more prominent than before. If the circumstances were a bit different Ilya for sure would be kissing all over the constellation on his husband’s face by now.
But, atlas, maybe later.
“O-okay, but I also understand it gets tiring when you’re forced to listen to things you don’t care about for hours on end.”
For Shane himself that’s actually not true. He could listen to Ilya talk about literally anything and still be helplessly enamoured. But Ilya also doesn’t tend to talk his ear off about stupid things that don’t matter.
“J-just how embarrassing is it to have such an intense interest in a kids toy?” Shane’s voice drops to barely above a whisper when he adds, “I just don’t want you to get embarrassed because of me— or tired of me…”
Ilya’s heart shatters into a million pieces. How can his husband even think of something so preposterous, impossible, much less believe it?
“My love, I need you to hear me when I say this.” He lets go of Shane’s hands, pulling him into a tight hug. He probably needs it, and heavens know Ilya does too.
“When I married you, I married every part of you. Not just the parts you think are good enough” Ilya placed emphasis on the word good, “for me.”
“I want nothing more than to hear about your interests. Whether than be Legos or something else. If it’s important to you it’s important to me. Do you understand?” Ilya pulls them apart just enough to look Shane in the eyes.
Shane attempts to turn his head away from Ilya’s gaze but he’s stopped by one of the other’s hands now firmly holding his face in place.
“Do you understand, Shane?” Ilya repeats.
Shane doesn’t answer the question.
“Maybe you find this endearing now, but what about a few more years down the line? Hell, you call me boring all the time! Surely, you think I should find a better hobby?”
“Shane, my love, is that what’s been bothering you?”
Ilya always thought they both knew the boring comment was not to be taken seriously. Just like how Shane calls Ilya an asshole, he calls Shane boring. But, at some point the word must have started hitting a bit too close to Shane’s actual insecurities and Ilya is kicking his past self for not noticing it sooner.
“Yes, I am not lying when I say you are boring. But, I love that you are boring. It is one of my favourite things about you.”
A line appeared between Shane’s brows, evidently muddled at the seemingly contrasting statements. “You know what boring means right? It’s not exactly something you want in a husband.”
Okay, so maybe things are more dire than Ilya thought.
“In my life, there has been a lot of things I cannot predict, yes? I could not predict how my father was going to react when I got home. If he was going to be happy or mad. I could not predict what would happen in the next hockey game. If I go home a winner or a loser.”
Ilya takes a shaky breath, his voice starting to wobble as he pushes forward.
“But you? You are predictable. When we are together you will always be surprised I get you ginger ale even after all these years, you will always be the second most competitive player on ice, you will always fold your clothes before sex, you will always call me an asshole even though you don’t mean it.“
Ilya knows Shane still doesn’t understand where he’s going with this because he doesn’t even try to refute the second most competitive player statement like he usually would.
“When we are together we are boring. That is true. But I am never bored. Huge difference.”
At that, Shane can’t help but to collapse into his husband’s hold, all the tension his body had been holding having dissipated all at once. He lets the tears that he was holding back fall, dampening Ilya’s shirt in the process.
Usually, he would be horrified to be ruining such a nice shirt. He had gotten it for Ilya saying how he should invest more in quality clothes rather than flashy name brands. In the moment, however, he couldn’t bring himself to care. After all, clothes can be brought again, but if he went another second without touching Ilya he feels like he might just die.
Ilya lets Shane stay there for as long as he needed to, whispering sweet nothings in Russian until his husband’s heart settled back to a more stable rate.
“I love you. Thank you for loving me back.” Shane’s voice is thick with emotion.
“No need for thank you. To love you is my greatest privilege.”
And Ilya is willing to remind Shane everyday for the rest of their lives if he needs to.
Their vows were for forever after all.