Work Text:
1st Alastor fic?
Losing streak smiles
*= Scene change
-= timeskip
•= flashback
*
Alastor.
The Radio Demon.
Most powerful sinner in hell.
It doesn't matter what names you associate him with, but there's a certain image that everybody associates with him.
It can be a full body image of him in his classic red get up, his classic smile, with the hotel crew, or it can be just one image. An image of a smile with yellow teeth flashing against a black background, much too wide and much too fake.
But it's always that smile.
If you've ever made a deal with him, you can see the stitches over it, and if you're Charlie Morningstar, you know more specific reasons for the everlasting smile.
Regardless, every soul who knows him knows his smile.
So, obviously, if he were to. Stop smiling, you'd be in shock, right?
Well, let me tell you.
-
It has been a peaceful morning for Lucifer. He'd woken up in his bed, and the other half of it was still warm, so Alastor must not have gotten up too long ago and is probably refreshing and doing his makeup in the bathroom right now.
Lucifer headed downstairs in duck robes, because he's the king and he can do whatever he wants.
(He alakazamed halfway down the stairs into his usual suit.(He has to set a good example, okay?))
He arrived in the kitchen, and there were small signs of the coffee maker being used considering the small bits of dust left by one of those circle packets.
Considering it's only 6, he'd say Angel had a pretty early shift.
Poor guy.
He'll leave that one to Husk.
Grabbing two mugs from the cupboards, he plugs in the machine to start on it.
Distantly, he recognizes how the room goes dark, and the radio in the corner starts up, playing The Girl From Ipanema starting to play as a warning sign, and just like any other day, he turns around as coffee starts to pour into one cup, and he can stand on his tippy toes with confidence, knowing that his sinner would be right there.
And just as predicted, he lands a kiss right on Alastor’s lips.
“You're getting awfully good at this little routine of ours, hm?”
He chuckles against Alastor's mouth, that familiar staticy voice bringing a small warmth to his prideful heart.
Of course, there's Alastor's smile. God, how could he ever find this annoying?
“Are you trying to imprint my image into your mind?”
Oh yeah. That's how.
“And what if I am? What're you going to do about it?” He tried to say it in that same tone that Alastor uses just about all the time, but as soon as the words left his mouth and Alastor’s smirk became even more arrogant, he realized it was not the comeback he thought it was.
Well.
If it gets him dating points, who is he to complain?
“I suppose there is nothing I can do about it. Travesty.”
Lucifer hands Alastor his cup of coffee, black because Alastor is a freak who doesn't like sugar in any drink but tea.
After receiving his cup of coffee, Alastor turns around to start making pancakes while Lucifer dumps an unhealthy amount of creamer and milk for a man of his stature.
(He's the king of hell, he can't get diabetes!
He thinks.
…Maybe he should look into that.)
A plate slides next to Lucifer, stacked with a few pancakes, just as he finished making his coffee, and he can hear the sink start, and the scrubbing on a sponge on a pan.
Al told him once, that while he is not a strict meat(or sinner) eater, he is just not a huge fan of pancakes in general.
Lucifer got slightly offended.
(What? It's like, his whole thing, how could he not get offended?)
He moved past it quite quickly after getting a kiss on the temple for his pouting.
Lucifer grabs his plate and starts to eat as Alastor finishes drying the dishes, steadfastly refusing to use the dishwasher that's right there.
“Angel is on an early shift again, yes?” Alastor asks, radio filter crackling through the comforting white noise that constantly plays around him.
“Yeah. How does he still have to work for the Vees? I thought we defeated them or something!” Lucifer would throw his head back, but he feels like that would be too childish, nevermind the fact that he had been planning on coming down here in duck pajamas originally.
“That we did, sure. But defeating and killing are not interchangeable terms, and I'm afraid as long as the Vees are alive, Angel is tied up under contract.”
The king groaned into his pancakes, as Alastor used a tentacle to close his mouth(“eating at the table is improper!”, yeah yeah, whatever Bambi) while he sets up the plates with an appropriate amount of pancakes for each hotel staff.
4 for Charlie, much like her father, 2 for Vaggie, none for Husker, and one mini one for Nifty.
Like father like daughter, as they say.
Alastor leaned against the table, sipping his black coffee in the matching mug he got with Lucifer, waiting for the other occupants to arrive. He trusts all the other hotel guests are not inept enough to not know how to cook.
(In Lucifer's opinion, that's a lot of misplaced trust in sinners.)
While staring at Alastor as he drinks his coffee, a favorite past time of his, he's realized, he notices that even while sipping coffee, you can still see the smile of those yellow teeth.
Lucifer has asked about it before, don't get him wrong. Back when they were still arguing.
•
“And why do you do that creepy-smile-freaky-face-thing?”
Lucifer had remarked once while they were in a friendly stand-off, back before they established feelings for each other, and he did it with his arms crossed and a snarky frown on his face.
Alastor had given Lucifer the same answer he'd given Charlie, but all Lucifer heard was-
“Blah blah blah, control control, you're short…”
-and although Lucifer is sure that the creepy deer demon did not say, “blah blah blah”, because he just has to speak in that fancy old-timey voice, that's all the king cared to hear.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, bellhop. Go do your freaky smiling thing somewhere else, I'm sure the toilets need cleaning or something.”
“Ah, but of course! Even though it is your daughter's hotel, and your daughter's dream, I guess she just needs somebody else to help her out instead of her dear old dad. Pity.”
Alastor had turned to head towards the stairs then, presumably to go work on a chore assigned to him, when he heard the king start to predictably sputter. Alastor leaned on his cane as his head turned to stare at the dwarf.
“We- Uh- Hu- Hey now! My daughter doesn't need the help of a sinner, when she has a fallen angel on her side! Why don't you go do- bellhop things- bellhop!” And with that, Lucifer had stormed over to the stairs to take over Alastor’s assignment, while Alastor snickered.
“He is too easy…”
Said sinner had walked off to his radio tower to start a special afternoon broadcast, complete with screaming sinners and sin.
(He knows there's a radio in the room Lucifer is in.)
(Said radio can later be found in pieces.)
-
So yeah. Lucifer had asked about the deer’s little smiling trick.
And so what if he didn't care to ask? It's not your problem, is it? No! It's his.
Okay, yeah, that's not exactly great for him.
-
So, Lucifer had been wanting to catch the deer off guard, see if he could make that smile slip off his face in shock or disgust or something.
More so shock. He doesn't want to purposely disgust his own partner.
That'd make him a bad partner, and…
He's not sure he could take another one leaving.
But anyways, to move on from that, Lucifer has taken to inviting Alastor over to his room for sleepovers more.
That didn't work, because Alastor gets up earlier and falls asleep later than him on the regular.
The only reason Lucifer had been getting to the kitchen earlier than the sinner is because Alastor likes to straighten his hair.
(The first time Lucifer saw it natural, saw those beautiful soft waves, he practically begged Alastor to keep it natural for that day.)
(He was not listened to.)
So he tried something else.
Hiding behind doors and desks, to jump out and scare him hopefully.
Unfortunately, the first (and last) time he tried this, a black, sludge-like tentacle came out to wrap around his throat and choke him out.
Yeah, okay, that was slightly his fault.
He's a sinner who just got done with being kidnapped by a guy so clearly obsessed with him, it's very clear why he did that.
Still, he ended up grumbling in Alastor's room, and the deer mixed together some teas from the old days of Louisiana, swearing up and down that his mother is always right, and that these teas will help his throat immensely.
Lucifer didn't bother to have the sinner remember he can heal super fast.
Watching the deer fuss over him is better than Alastor not caring at all because it takes him less than a second to heal a simple choking.
The teas did help.
Louisiana is a crazy place, Lucifer is not sure how they did this.
He's sure God didn't create herbs and teas that can work such magic.
He wouldn't give that power to humans.
…
Maybe.
…Huh.
He would look into it, but he's not exactly welcomed near God anymore.
-
The day came quick.
Honestly, he didn't expect it to come at all, but it happened after a month of not sleeping.
Of course, not fatal, and the deer doesn't sleep much anyways, maybe once every two weeks, every Sunday, but that's about it.
Still, a month without sleep might be too much for any sinner, including cannibalistic ones.
Oh.
Why didn't he get sleep for a month?
…Ehm.
•
Outside of the radio host's door, there was a boombox blasting white girl, 200’s music.
See, as guests came to and fro, they stared at it curiously. The wretched thing was playing loud enough to wake a neighborhood, but somehow, with some magic, only the deer could hear the boombox.
So, to others, it looked like there was just a boombox outside of a dangerous overlord's door, and everyone turned away because hey maybe the Radio Demon is into that music?
But to the King Of Hell and The Radio Demon, it was the most annoying thing ever he couldn't get rid of, because it just showed right back up.
And trust me, Alastor tried to get away, but it kept. Finding. Him.
It was unique magic, one Alastor himself had recently been looking into before the whole incident, but one the King already mastered, and was actively using to annoy his partner.
Alastor knows why, Lucifer had begged him to stop smiling, so he has a pretty good guess, and he's aware that if he just stopped smiling, it would all be cured and he would have his rest again, but Alastor is stubborn, and wants to make the king wait as long as possible.
So.
He's been snippy lately, snapping at guests with an up-turned snarl, the corners of his lips barely managing to curl upwards in the smallest smile he could muster.
And maybe Charlie has been asking why, and maybe he's been telling his darling daughter he's not sure, and maybeee he knows he has to apologize, but he'll do that after he sees a frown!
•
Anyways.
It finally happened.
Lucifer had been planning to apologize, he got flowers and everything, even rotting deer meat, so he invited Alastor to his room.
At first, the deer was reluctant after not getting sleep, but he just needed peace and quiet. Under the impression the boombox would stop when he arrived at Lucifer's, he entered.
It didn't stop, and Lucifer can't hear it either.
It was annoying, having that music play constantly, mentioning sexual acts and those substances that are particularly popular with a certain spider demon.
Lucifer had been in the middle of his apology, almost in tears because his poor sinner was so exhausted, especially with Charlie running him ragged, when the cannibal snapped.
“And I'm so sorry, Al, I just wanted to see it o-”
“Pardon me, Lucifer, but if you may turn it off. I'm not sure if you realized but apologies do not sound as sincere when the opposer does not stop the attack.”
It took the original temptation a few seconds to process what was happening, as for one, he just got interrupted, and for two, in the middle of Alastor's complaining, his smile had dropped to a snarl, the corners of his lips curling downwards in annoyed exhaustion.
“...Lucifer!”
Snapped out of his awe, the king sent the boombox away as fast as he could, fumbling with the wilted bouquet in his hands.
You would think that Lucifer caused the flowers to die, but no. It was Alastor.
“Uh- sorry, sorry!”
“Yes, I'm aware.”
–
(Alastor slept for a week after that, and the hotel kinda went to shit, but that's a different fic.)
*