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“I’m home.”
Maomao looked up from the herbs she was planting. She shielded her eyes from the bright morning sunlight to see Jinshi strolling across the lawn toward them. A spring breeze rippled through her robe giving her a slight shiver.
“Daddy!” Jinshi knelt down as Yue ran, arms outstretched to his father. Jinshi embraced their son in a hug, scooped him up and carried him over to Maomao. As she straightened up, she wiped her dirty hands on a rag. Jinshi wrapped his free arm around her and she tugged on the collar of his robe, bringing his face close to hers. They sweetly kissed a greeting.
Yue clung to his father's shoulder. His gray blue, almond eyes sparkled with excitement. “How was night-time guard duty, daddy? Was it exciting? Did you have to beat up a bunch of bad guys? Did you use your sword? Did anyone get poisoned?”
“So many questions.” Jinshi sighed.
“He’s at that age.” Five, when all the questions spill out. If only he’d wait for the answers.
Jinshi absent-mindedly scratched his scarred cheek. “Sadly, guard duty was boring last night, no bad guys, my sword stayed sheathed, no poison, not even a mouse or spider crossed my path.” Jinshi danced his splayed fingers over Yue’s belly making the little boy giggle.
“Awwww, that does sound boring. I’m helping mama plant herbs, you wanna help, too?”
“I’d love to, but first I need to catch up on some sleep.” Jinshi set Yue down and their son immediately returned to his task, carefully setting the young seedlings in their holes and pressing dirt around them. Jinshi put his arms around Maomao, pulling her close and soaked in every detail of her face. His smile faded into an expression of concern.
“Say Maomao, you look as tired as I feel. Did you not sleep well last night?”
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Yue make a face. Did he just roll his eyes? “I don't sleep well when you're on night duty,” she lied.
“Oh?” A mischievous grin formed on his face. “I seem to remember you previously telling me the only time you could get a good night sleep was when I was on night duty.” He leaned in, nuzzling her neck with gentle kisses.
Curse his memory.
“Maybe since we’re both tired, we should both go get some rest.” He worked his way back, nibbling on her ear lobe as he spoke softly. “I certainly would like to spend some time with my wife.”
“Hey, Nooo! This is my time to spend with mama! I told you, we’re planting herbs!” Yue stood, knees covered in grass stains, pointing to the basket of seedlings by his side. He gave his father a fierce scowl.
No idea where he learned that facial expression.
“Oh come now, son. Surely you can share mama? Daddy’s been so busy he hasn't been able to spend much time with her.”
Maomao looked at her two boys. Which one is pouting more?
“Don’t lie to me! It’s obvious you spent enough time with her!” Yue exclaimed.
That’s a hell of a thing to say, what’s he mean by that?
“Obvious? What are you talking about?” Jinshi looked skeptically between Yue and Maomao.
Maomao shrugged to indicate she didn’t understand any more than he did. What is he talking about?
Knitting his brow, Yue held out his arms and gestured dramatically towards Maomao, as if this explained everything.
Jinshi crossed his arms and started tapping his index finger, “Daddy's been up all night, my brain is a little fuzzy. Perhaps you could use your words and be a bit clearer,” he prodded.
Mirroring his father, Yue crossed his arms, tapping his finger, too. “I told you, it’s obvious! You spent time with mama and planted a seed in her belly! A baby seed!”
Maomao choked.
“Maomao… did you tell him that?” Jinshi’s eyes were wide. His finger froze in the air, mid tap. He didn't appear to be breathing.
“No, I didn't.” Maomao was thinking fast. “Don’t look at me like that. I swear, I didn't! Yue, tell your father I didn’t tell you that!” They both looked at Yue.
“She didn't tell me that.”
“See?” Maomao was about to exhale and relax, but…
“It’s obvious.”
Little shit!
“What do you mean it’s obvious?” The finger resumed tapping. Jinshi looked back and forth between mother and son.
Again Yue gestured dramatically towards his mother.
“More,” Jinshi insisted.
With a deep sigh and a definite eye roll (Where did he learn that?), Yue adopted his make-believe doctor voice. He held out his hand and counted on his fingers as he explained, “She’s tired, nauseous, has a loss of appetite, skipped two grumpy weeks—”
Grumpy weeks?!
“—and most obvious of all…” he paused for dramatic effect (His father. He definitely gets that from his father), “she stopped tasting poisons with me!”
Jinshi gasped, his hands flew to his mouth. “Stopped tasting poisons with you?” He turned to Maomao, the eyes that were wide open a moment ago suddenly turned dark, intense. He leveled a stormy glare at her, raising his voice, “When did she start tasting poisons with you?!” Maomao bit her lip but kept her face as neutral as possible.
Yue held up his hands, fingers spread apart. “Not until I was able to correctly identify ten types of poisonous plants. I’m up to thirty now!” he added proudly. He posed with his back straight, chest out and fists on hips.
Very dramatic, son. Thanks a lot! Maomao smiled timidly and nodded.
Jinshi continued to glare at Maomao. Uh oh, smile’s not working, new tactic. She took one of his hands in hers, stroking it in what she hoped was a soothing touch. Shaking her head, she tried acting like it was nothing to worry about. “Taste, you heard him say taste, not swallow. I just want him to know what poisons taste like so he doesn't eat them. Yue, tell your father you only taste them!”
“I only taste them.”
“See?” Maomao held her breath.
“Except that one time…”
Little Shit!
Jinshi was staring daggers at her now. “That one time?!” he growled.
“Mama let me taste a poisonous mushroom, but it tasted so good, I swallowed it.” He smiled broadly after miming an exaggerated gulp.
Jinshi clapped a palm to his forehead. Maomao bent her head, daring not look at her husband. “Some poisonous mushrooms are tasty,” she mumbled.
“Then mama gave me an emeh, an emeh…”
Maomao looked at their son, “An emetic,” she encouraged.
“Yeah, an emetic, and I coughed it back up.”
“Tell daddy what you learned.”
Scrunching his face, he answered, “I learned poisonous mushrooms taste better going down than back up.”
LITTLE SHIT!
Maomao tried to offer Jinshi a placating smile. “See? Everything came out ok.”
“Everything came out alright,” Yue said, crinkling his nose and frowning.
Maomao dropped her head and smacked both hands against her face.
Jinshi took a few deep breaths, “Fine, fine, we’re going to table this poison tasting conversation for now… but we will talk about it later, Maomao!” He closed his eyes and took a few more deep breaths. Then he opened them, turning his gaze to her abdomen. “However, that’s not what's important right now. Let’s get back to what, errr, may or may not be in your belly.”
Jinshi took one slow, deep breath in and exhaled. He opened his eyes and fixed them on Yue. He kneeled down to be on their son’s level. “Now then, Dr. Bayue.” Yue’s eyes lit up at the moniker. “You say your patient, Mama, has displayed symptoms of tiredness, nausea and won’t poison taste with you.”
“And she missed her grumpy weeks,” he pointed out.
“You notice your mother's… ahhh.. grumpy weeks?”
“Notice?! I track them. Uncle Lahan showed me how so I can be extra good and not get in trouble when she’s grumpy.”
Son of a… someone is getting his toes crushed next time I see him!
Jinshi placed a hand on Yue’s shoulder. He failed to hide his smirk. “Might have you show daddy what Uncle Lahan taught you later.”
Another son of a…
“Mama wasn't grumpy last month, she just wrinkled her forehead and squinched her eyes…” Yue demonstrated, “and counted on her fingers. Since then she rubs her tummy a lot and she should have been grumpy earlier this week, but she wasn’t… cause of the baby seed you put in her.”
Maomao tilted her head back and closed her eyes, massaging her brow with her fingertips. How the hell long has my kid—my five-year-old kid—been tracking my moons?
“Another question, Maomao, exactly what have you taught Yue about, ahh… daddies planting baby seeds?”
Maomao pointed to the duck pen. “He asked what the ducks were doing and I explained. It’s a simple biological fact. I’m not going to make something up.”
Yue knit his brow again. “That reminds me, mama, Uncle Basen told us something completely different about the ducks and when I tried to correct him his face went all red. I don’t think he knows… you might have to explain it to him.”
Jinshi dropped his head, gently shaking it back and forth. Massaging his brow didn't appear to offer any relief. “Next question,” he returned his gaze to Maomao, “How is it our son—our five-year-old son—knows the symptoms of pregnancy?”
Yue answered before his mother could, “That’s easy, daddy! I, Dr. Bayue, help Dr. Mama exam Auntie Lishu. She’s had a baby in her belly much longer than mama!”
Jinshi raised his eyebrows at Maomao.
She mumbled, “Auntie Lishu has had a baby in her belly more than she hasn't in the last five years.” Jinshi shook his head. Oh, not what he wanted to hear. In her calm, normal tone she reassured him, “Nothing invasive, we just check her pulse and discuss her current symptoms…”
“Currently her chest is sore,” Yue announced.
Jinshi face-palmed again.
His forehead is going to be red for awhile, Maomao noted. “Not invasive,” she reassured him once more.
“Oh, and her feet are swollen. Mama told Uncle Basen he must rub her feet. Guess what else, daddy? I got to feel Auntie Lishu’s baby kick! It kicked so hard I thought it was going to explode right out of her belly!”
Jinshi sighed, “That’s Basen’s kid alright. Maybe he’ll finally get the boy he’s been hoping for.”
“Hey mama? Should daddy rub your feet, too?”
Maomao smiled. “Yes he should!” Whether I’m pregnant or not!
Jinshi stood back up. He gently grasped Maomao's waist with one hand and pulled her close to him. He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to meet his ridiculously beautiful, violet eyes. “Now Dr. Mama, Dr. Bayue’s diagnosis is that you have a baby seed planted in your belly.” He released her chin and laced his hands around her lower back. Maomao rested her hands on his chest. “Do you agree with his conclusion?”
Maomao gave their son a stern glare. “I would first remind Dr. Bayue that we don’t speak conjecture or speculation.” Yue flinched. “It is too early to be 100% positive, but it seems likely…” Maomao peered back at Jinshi, “that Dr. Bayue, is correct.”
Jinshi stooped and straightened, lifting Maomao up so they were eye to eye. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Keeping one arm locked around her, he cupped her face, fingers sliding around the back of her neck, into her hair. He kissed her deeply.
“Hey! She already has one baby seed in her, don’t go putting another one in!”
Their lips broke apart, Maomao scowled at their son while Jinshi buried his face against her shoulder, muffling the laugh he couldn't contain. He carefully set her back down.
“Now then, Dr. Bayue. Do you remember what we said about doctor to patient confidentiality?” Maomao asked.
Yue squinted his eyes and thought for a moment. “Doctors don’t talk about their patient’s secrets to other people?”
“That's right.”
He frowned, “Except, I already did.”
LITTLE SHIT!
Maomao glared at him, her hands on her hips.
“I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t know I was your doctor and couldn't tell anyone.” He stuck his lower lip out, frowning.
Maomao sighed, “Besides daddy, who did you tell?”
“My cousins… all of them,” (Maomao facepalmed. Her brow would be as red as Jinshi’s.) “I told them daddy put his seed in you,” (Jinshi choked.) “and that's why you weren’t feeling good.”
“And?”
“And they asked what kind of rare, poisonous seed you ate this time. I think Uncle Basen got them all really confused with his explanation about the ducks.”
Maomao sighed. Jinshi failed to stifle his laugh this time but successfully turned it into a cough.
“Then Miss Chue winked at me and changed the subject.”
“I thought you only told your cousins?” Maomao leveled another glare at him.
“I did, during language lessons with Miss Chue. I didn't tell her. She was just there… listening.”
Maomao closed her eyes and rubbed her brow. No wonder Gaoshun’s brow is always furrowed, he raised three kids… four if you count Jinshi! “Jinshi, remember when he was little and I was worried because he didn't talk very much?”
“I do.”
“I'm over it.”
“I expect so. Now then, Dr. Bayue, you have a patient who is suffering from fatigue. What do you recommend?”
Yue touched his finger to his chin, “Sleep? Hey wait…”
“Good treatment plan.”
“Daddy, no fair. What about our herbs?”
Maomao ruffled his violet hair. “We’ll finish after I nap. In the meantime, why don't you go ask Miss Chue to teach you some more fun, foreign words since she already knows mama needs rest.”
“Ok, mama.” Yue looked lost in thought. They all started walking up to the house. Maomao held Jinshi's arm.
Jinshi narrowed his eyes at Maomao. “Now about this poison tasting…”
Damn! He remembered already?
“Hey, daddy. After your nap, can we play… I mean, train with swords?”
“Yes, but don’t change the subject.”
Maomao stopped, still holding Jinshi's arm, she spun him to face her. “Oh, it’s safe for him to play with swords but not taste poison?”
Jinshi’s mouth fell open. “That's completely different. It’s training, not playing. Learning to use a sword protects him from…” Maomao raised her eyebrows. “Hey, he’s never been hurt playing with swords. Yue tell your mother you’ve never been hurt playing, I mean, training with swords.”
“I’ve never been hurt training with swords.”
Jinshi stood straight, crossed his arms and smirked pompously. “See?”
“Except that one time…”
Maomao crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows higher.
Jinshi dropped his arms in defeat and offered a sheepish smile to Maomao. “Uhhhhh… I guess knowing how to avoid poisons by learning what they taste like will protect him as much as a sword, but… NO MORE SWALLOWING!”
Yue smirked at his parents before skipping away.
Yep, that's our little shit.
Jinshi grinned mischievously and ran his finger up Maomao’s back, making her shiver. “On the plus side, if any of the cousins do talk, no one will question you being sick from eating some weird seed.”
BIG SHIT!