Work Text:
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I’d hoped the “Murderbot Impersonates an Augmented Human Security Consultant” compilation would distract Gurathin until the GrayCris representatives arrived for Pin Lee’s meeting, but no such luck.
SecUnit. I owe you an apology, he said through the feed. I checked the security cameras; he was still glaring appropriately into the distance, at least, even if his feed presence felt like he was staring directly at me.
No, you don’t, I said automatically. Then, For what?
A minute ago, I said I was just cautious. And, I mean, I am, and I really am not your enemy. I saw him suck in a breath. But I wasn’t just cautious, back on the survey – I was suspicious, paranoid, unfairly so. And I took it out on you.
I mean, I knew that, and I knew he knew it, probably, given the whole awkward conversation we’d had when I’d left, but I still had no idea why he was bringing it up.
Why are you telling me this, I said desperately.
Because I owe you an apology, he insisted. I treated you poorly – horribly, really. I violated your autonomy to force you into uncomfortable situations, challenged your expertise as a security professional, and invaded your privacy. He paused, probably thinking back to that moment in sick bay, going by the pained grimace. Violently.
Why are you telling me this now, I asked. I wanted to tell him to moderate his expressions better, given that we were waiting for the GrayCris agents to show up, but I’d been so thrown off by the direction of the conversation I’d gotten my feed exports all mixed up.
I meant to tell you before, he said. Well, when we were back on Preservation – I didn’t really think of it as a high priority back on PortFreeCommerce. There was another grimace there. I figured, once we were safe, I’d have time to – figure out how to approach it.
This was not, in my opinion, the way to approach it. In fact, there was no way to approach it, and maybe he shouldn’t approach it, ever.
But then you left, he continued. And I realized I’d missed my chance. I didn’t want it to happen again, so. Here we are. I’m sorry.
I spent an objective 4.7 seconds and a subjective 10 minutes reviewing my media for ways to respond to an apology.
We can talk about this, he sent sarcastically – with a weirdly hopeful undertone I chose to ignore, because it was weird and I didn’t want to deal with that – when I didn’t reply.
You’re such an asshole, I sent back. I don’t want to talk about it.
Alright, well, I’ve said my piece, he said. Ball’s in your court.
Ugh, what did that even mean. I ran a search. Oh, okay. Whatever. Humans were so weird.
Are you going to stop being an asshole? I shot back.
I’m not going to stop being cautious, he said. Would you want me to?
No, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
I don’t care, I said. You could go and get yourself killed if you want. That’s fine by me.
He huffed a laugh. Asshole, he shot back. It’d upset Mensah.
That’s your only argument? I pointed out.
He blinked, glancing down. I mean. I know I’m an asshole, he said. And I treated you poorly. I guess I wouldn’t blame you.
Oh for fuck’s sake.
You were right to be suspicious, I said. I’m a SecUnit. We’re dangerous, and I did kill all those miners.
He sucked in a breath. What happened? Did you find out?
I did not want to talk about it.
It was a hostile takeover, I said shortly. Once I’d started, it wasn’t that hard, actually. Maybe I did want to talk about it. It was – an accident. A fucking accident. Some bullshit code they didn’t check properly.
Fuck, he offered after a moment.
Yeah. Yeah. But you were right. I was dangerous. A combat override, a bad hack – it could have happened again. It almost had. If I hadn’t been able to take myself down before the combat override module had taken over…
But it didn’t, he insisted, stubbornness floating over the feed. It didn’t, because you’re not the monster I thought you were. The monster the Corporation Rim wants us to think you are. He paused for a moment, thinking. I – I was scared of you, he admitted. When I was in the Corporation Rim, I saw – some things. That SecUnits could do.
Yeah, so did I, I told him sarcastically. So what?
So, I’m saying – trying to say – I’m sorry, he insisted. I acted on faulty information, in a cruel and unreasonable way. I hurt you, and you have every right to not forgive me for it. I’ve been… he paused, shifting in his seat, and it did feel somewhat satisfying that this was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for me. Fuck, this was the stupid staring contest all over again, wasn’t it? I’m trying to do better.
You can do better by doing what I say and not getting yourself killed stupidly, I said, trying to sound annoyed and instead coming out annoyingly more sincere than I’d meant to. I mean, I don’t care, personally. It’d look bad on my record. That’s all.
Your record of what, solving cracker package mysteries? he shot back. So he had watched the video – must’ve sped it up or something. I’ll try not to start any bar fights. Or, you know, get kidnapped by GrayCris. Wouldn’t want to strain your professional pride.
Asshole. Like I’d bother rescuing him.
Okay, maybe I would. For Mensah, of course. But I wouldn’t be happy about it.
You know, it’s almost funny, he said, serious again. For how suspicious I was of you – we ended up agreeing on a lot of things. Protecting Mensah, those… bugs on the hopper. Even not liking eye contact or being touched. And the, uh. Snooping.
Excuse me, we were nothing alike. For one thing, I was a SecUnit, and therefore a professional, and he was a whiny, annoying augmented human client who should never be allowed to do security anywhere ever.
I was trying to decide what to say to stop him from talking anymore when my drones caught movement. I would have breathed a sigh of relief if that was something I did.
Shut up and get ready, I said. GrayCris is here.
He swore under his breath. Alright. Apology delivered. Let’s do this.
Apology… whatever. Focus, I sent back. I needed time to think before I decided what to do about all that, whatever it was. If I decided to do anything and not just pretend it didn’t happen, which was my current plan.
Whatever. First I had to get Mensah away from GrayCris. Everything else could wait.
Time to get back to work.
*