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“I do not wish to do this anymore,” Legolas finally admitted.
“Aye, I've gathered as much,” Gimli sighed. It was not hard to figure, what with the elf’s constant fidgeting and reluctance to answer any of his questions. He would have to call the prince's name once or twice to even gain his attention, “but it must be done.”
Gimli watched as Legolas looked down at the sheets of plans laid before them– projects Aragorn had asked for help with that bogged up much of their time in Minas Tirith. The elf seemed as if the very presence of the parchment brought him great pain to see. It became clear to the dwarf that he was not going to get any more help on these today.
“Fine, we can be done for now,” Gimli relented, and Legolas perked up with a smile. It was hard for the dwarf not to smile back, but he kept a stern brow as he pointed at the elf, “but if Aragorn gets pissy that we did not finish today, I'll be laying the blame on you. Understood, laddie?”
Legolas nodded enthusiastically, and stood from his stool. Rather uncharacteristic to his elven nature, the stool nearly fell over in his hurry to leave. Legolas looked slightly embarrassed at his own excitement, but felt calmer when Gimli laughed.
-
As they sat for lunch, Gimli noticed the elf once again fidgeting in his seat. This seemed to go ignored by the hobbits sitting across from them, but for some reason the dwarf could not avoid focusing on it. When he began silently bouncing his leg, Gimli snuck a hand under the table and settled it by pressing down against the elf’s knee. Legolas said nothing, but turned his head down slightly and stared at the table, only looking up again when the dwarf reassuringly rubbed his thumb over the leg. Once Gimli pulled his hand back, Legolas turned towards him and began to speak.
“I think I will go down to the stalls and check on the horses.”
Gimli simply nodded in response, and the elf did not move at first. It was only after a minute of silence that Legolas slowly stood from the table. The dwarf thought it odd, and watched as Legolas left with a disappointed look on his face.
“He wanted you to go with him,” Sam whispered from across the table, and Frodo and Merry nodded. Pippin had not been paying attention.
“If that is what he wanted, he would've said something,” Gimli grunted, reluctant to believe the halflings were right but still mulled over the thought.
Sam shook his head, but made no other comment.
When Gimli returned late in the day to their shared room, (as there was not much left to offer in the wake of destruction from the war) Legolas did not speak to him. Instead, he sat curled in the arm chair with a book and a sour look on his face. Gimli would have laughed at the pouting, if he was not so sure it was a result of his own actions.
“How were the beasts?” Gimli asked, and Legolas still did not look towards him when he responded.
“I did not go.”
“Couldn't find yer way?” When Gimli’s quip brought him no retort, he silently accepted Sam was correct. The dwarf rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “Perhaps, we shall go tomorrow morning after breakfast then?”
Legolas quickly whipped his head around.
“Really?” He asked, his voice was light and hopeful and tugged at Gimli’s chest in a way the dwarf could not explain.
“Yes, I believe I owe a visit to Arod, even if he is a troublesome creature.”
For the rest of the night, Legolas’s mood had turned and Gimli eyed him curiously– wondering why the elf did not just speak his desires in the first place.
-
This new behavior from the prince did not cease over the next few days, and in fact, only became more prevalent in the time the two spent together. In Gimli’s presence, the elf would become clingy and would struggle to sit still during boring tasks; at some points he would even become whiny if the dwarf did not give in to his requests to finish. It was much unlike the fearsome warrior Gimli had come to know on their journey. His actions would be most on display in the evenings, after tiresome days of working on the repairs Gondor required after such a long time of darkness. In the night, if the elf chose to sleep that day, Gimli would wake to the prince shuffling around and his breath quicken before he would shoot up in his bed. The dwarf only brought up the apparent nightmares once, and not again after Legolas looked rather embarrassed.
Gimli paid especially close attention to the days after he would patiently indulge in the elf’s behaviors. It seemed to him that the prince worked much better in public on those days, not gazing off or avoiding what he must do, though he would still act in a way Gimli only knew how to describe as childish when they retreated to the privacy of their room.
There were exceptions to this, however, like when the halls would get too crowded or too loud; there was no pulling the elf back. Instead, he would stay quiet, grabbing at the soft fur on the collar of Gimli’s cloak and looking to the dwarf to answer any questions posed to him. There was one day where it was particularly clear that the elf was done with it all, and heavily hinted that he would like Gimli to escort him back to their temporary home. They were taking a short cut through the marketplace when Legolas came to a complete halt, and the grip he yet again had on the dwarf’s collar nearly choked Gimli. When Gimli looked up to question why the elf was trying to deprive him of oxygen, his words fell away as he saw Legolas’s eyes fixed on something. Following the gaze revealed a small toyshop with some stuffed animals on display.
“Would you like to go look?” Gimli attempted a neutral tone as he cocked his brow, but Legolas still looked horrified to be caught in the act of such an interest.
“Why would I go look at such a thing?” The elf mumbled, dropping his hand from Gimli’s collar and pushing forward towards their apartment. Gimli said nothing as he walked beside the prince, studying his reddened face and ears.
Legolas was quiet upon their return, and the dwarf gave him space. It was only on the third yawn from the elf that Gimli decided to speak again.
“I have not seen you this tired since we were running after those lads, surely these beds are more comfortable than the hard ground. Can you find no rest?”
It took a moment for Legolas to respond, and when he did, the dwarf almost could not hear his quiet voice.
“It is dark.”
“Dark?” Gimli could not hide his confusion, “It was dark out in those fields, yet you had no issue.”
“There were stars to light the night, there are no stars in here and…,” Legolas whispered, pulling his knees to his chest, “and we all slept close anyway.”
Gimli hummed in response and dropped the subject. Dwarves were known for having good vision in low light, adapted for cave work. He knew Legolas could not see as well, and relied mostly on elven hearing, but he never imagined the prince nervous in the dark. That night, when he heard Legolas begin his ritual of disturbed sleep, Gimli decided to take a chance to help his friend. Slowly, he climbed into the elf’s bed. Gimli could see Legolas was awake and tense, but settled as the dwarf became tucked behind his back and threw a sturdy arm over his side. They both slept deep that night, and neither mentioned it in the morning.
Under his uncle, before Óin traveled to Moria, Gimli spent some time studying in the ways of medicine. So, when he gathered enough evidence that proved to him something was off about the elf, Gimli did as he had been instructed to do; hit the books. Legolas had been working on a private project with Aragorn that day, which gave Gimli time to scour the library for old medical journals. There was something his uncle said to him that brought him great reassurance when he was younger in the matter of feelings and ailments: it is rare that you would be the first to experience any kind of pain. This idea comforted the dwarf, as it made him feel not alone whenever he was troubled, and he hoped it would be true for this as well.
-
Legolas stopped just short of the hallway’s turn and listened. He had been looking for the other two of his hunters for some time now, having broken away to perform some menial tasks with the idea of rejoining the pair after, but when he heard the tone of the dwarf's voice– he decided to wait on an intrusion.
”There is something wrong with Legolas.”
Gimli’s words made the elf’s heart feel as if it was simultaneously beating too fast and not at all, and he could not tell which was more true as the rancid pit in his stomach was holding too much of his attention.
“There is something wrong with all of us,” Aragorn sighed, “else we would not have started this journey in the first place.”
”No, not like that, ya smart-arse, there’s something different. Something new.”
“How do you mean?”
“He’s easily stressed, and has been acting… childlike,” Gimli whispered, and Legolas felt his throat tighten, “I noticed it a few days ago, and have been playing into it just to make sure.”
Legolas wanted to hear no more, and left as quickly and as silently as elven feet would allow. Gimli and Aragorn continued their conversation, none the wiser.
“Childlike?” The man pressed.
”Aye, it started with glazed off looks, but it is like he retreats into himself, and something else emerges. My uncle was a healer, and dabble in issues of the mind-“
”You think there is something wrong with his mind?”
“Perhaps, I fear it may have something to do with the quest and its hardships,” Gimli sighed and rubbed his temple with his thumb, “but you say that Lord Elrond is coming, yes?” Aragorn nodded, “Good, I want to find a way to get Legolas to speak with him on the matter. I have done some things in the way of research myself, but I would feel better if they spoke.”
“That will prove a harsh feat, Legolas will not like the insinuation.”
“Well, I have to try.”
-
Legolas did his best to make no face as Gimli entered their room, wanting to not hint that he heard any of his earlier conversation or that something was wrong. Unfortunately, the topic would not be avoided as the dwarf pulled out something from behind his back and held it out towards the prince.
“I got you something,” Gimli said with a gentle smile, “this was the one you were staring at the other day, isn't it?”
He was right, it was what caught Legolas’s attention so abruptly: a stuffed rabbit with skin made of linen and ears lined with soft fur. It would have brought him great joy to have it, if the shame of Gimli knowing how badly he wanted it hadn't made his stomach turn.
“Do you mean to mock me, Master Dwarf?” The elf asked harshly with his eyes turned down, away from Gimli’s offering.
“What? No, I-“ Gimli was taken back by the sudden change in Legolas’s demeanor, “it is only that– only that I noticed you enjoyed the rabbit fur on my cloak. I thought you would like something soft to fiddle with.”
“Do not play me for the fool! I know you have been speaking to Aragorn behind my back. I have heard what you say about me.” Legolas finally met Gimli’s eyes.
“Legolas…” Gimli stared at the prince with a pitied look that Legolas could barely take.
“I know you think there is something wrong with me!”
”There is something wrong with you!” Gimli finally yelled back in frustration.
Legolas looked altogether terrified and heartbroken at the dwarf’s outburst, not by the loud noise, but because the trust he had built in his dwarf was crumbling instantly. He brought his legs up against his chest and burrowed his head against his knees, shame taking over his entire being.
“Just leave me be,” Legolas whispered.
"Legolas, this," Gimli sat next to him, holding up the stuffed rabbit as he waited for the elf to peek out behind his folded arms, "this isn't what's wrong with you, but there is something wrong, else you wouldn't need this right now. I do not wish to shame you for this, but I would like to help fix whatever pain causing yer need for such coping."
Legolas slowly stretched out his legs and took the rabbit from Gimli's hand. Eye still refusing to meet the dwarf's, the prince rubbed circles into the soft fur of the ears. Gimli continued to speak.
"If this is what you need to be, that is fine, but I figure it is caused by some great stress. I can't let you hurt in silence. I want you to speak to Elrond when he comes, Aragorn agrees that he may be able to help."
"You must think I am a freak."
"Aye, I do," Gimli chuckled at the quick whip of the elf's head, "but only because I find all elves freakish, this however," he reached out to pet the toy on its head, "isn't too bad." Legolas's body relaxed again and their attention both laid on the doll. "What are you going to name the thing?"
"I- I do not know."
"You know what dwarven children call rabbits?"
"Am I allowed to know? Your language is secret."
"One word would not harm anything," Gimli winked, "rabbit is masaddazul-muzm, a bit complicated for the wee-ones to pronounce. They normally can only get out mas-muz till they get better holds of their tongue. Pretty cute, in my humble opinion."
"Thank you, Gimli, for the gift."
"You are welcome, though do not dare think it some sort of burden on me," Gimli pulled his hand from the rabbit and rugged on his tunic, "we have been given an allowance by the crown yet these people refuse to take my coin. All of my clothes– I have paid nothing for. The seamstress will take nothing for them, and no one will let me pay for my meal. I practically had to force gold down that poor shopkeep's throat to get him to let me pay for the animal."
"Yes, they have been very generous with our needs." Legolas hummed quietly as he continued to pet the toy rabbit.
"Which means I can be more generous," at this, Legolas raised his gaze with curiosity of the dwarf's meaning. Gimli gently tucked a loose strain of the elf's hair behind his pointed ear, "I'll buy you a new toy everyday, if you promise to be a good lad and speak to Lord Elrond."
"I will speak to him," Legolas quickly reassured as his cheeks reddened, "but there is no need for bribery."
"It wouldn't be bribery, it would be a gift, a reward." When Legolas didn't respond, Gimli sighed, "maybe not toys then, maybe books, or sweets, pretty jewels even. Let me take you to the market place so that you may alleviate the weight bogging down my pockets."
"Please, do not feel like you have to go to trouble for me, Master Gimli. I do not want my problem to cause you any more grief." Legolas's voice was small and ashamed.
"What do I have to do to make you realize it's no trouble?" Gimli groaned, but settled back when he saw the elf flinch at his annoyance.
"Sorry." The elf whispered.
"Legolas, look at me," Gimli commanded in a softer tone, "I once told you that you bring me comfort, and you reciprocated the thought if I remember correctly. Let me comfort you," the dwarf brought his hand up to the prince's cheek, and at first Legolas was shocked, but he quickly relaxed into it as Gimli continued his speech, "let me take care of you?"
Legolas nodded slowly, and a shy smile graced his face as he turned his attention back to the toy. Something in Gimli’s chest grew tight, and he wore a similar grin as he heard the elf whisper mas-muz to the rabbit.