Chapter Text
Yor stared at the ceiling in her dark room, a crack of light under her doorway, ruminating.
She had tucked Anya into bed after their Omurice dinner, having avoided too much eye contact with Loid over the table after her near-confession. At first, it was easy enough -- the standard questions about the day, Anya sharing her latest quiz results, proudly reporting her progress in classical languages, and keeping the conversation light.
Dinner was almost over -- and Yor had almost relaxed, ready to continue the nightly routines -- when Anya giggled and smiled mischievously. "Mama told me a secret today!"
Yor pressed her spoon just a little too hard into the plate, cracking it. She glanced at Loid's face. His eyes flicked to hers, and she felt the heat in her face rising with his curious look. His eyes lingered on hers for a second too long. Act natural, Yor!
"Oh? Well if it's a secret, you shouldn't share it without her permission." Loid intoned, in the paternal way that Yor admired. Loid always gives such good advice.
Anya smiled a little wider, a little more mischievously. "I know! But she didn't tell me not to tell you she has a secret! " Anya promptly picked up her plate and ran to the sink, giggling.
Yor felt Loid's gaze on her the rest of the evening. As soon as dishes were done -- including discreetly disposing of the cracked plate--she turned in early, claiming a long day. This left her here, in bed, ruminating and not actually tired.
Well, she is a child. As long as this is the secret she thinks I have, she'll be cute about it, and Loid wont suspect my real secrets. Maybe I'll get him a small surprise this weekend, and let him think that was my secret. Isn't our 6 month real anniversary coming up?
Yor smiled to herself despite her lingering embarrassment.
Maybe he'd like to come home to something, I don't know, relaxing. And maybe.... Maybe I could give him a welcome home kiss after. Do I think that's something Loid might agree to, considering he wants to keep up appearances as much as I do? If the neighbors never see us kiss, they might get suspicious.... And Maybe I want to see if welcome home kisses are as nice as the girls say they are.
Yor's face was warm against the night air.
Or maybe he won't, and that's okay too, Yor. He's only in this marriage for Anya's school. You shouldn't ask for anything else. Don't expect him to return your love. If you make it too awkward, he might just call everything off entirely, and then your cover family will be gone and... He would be gone, too.
She stared at the ceiling again, willing her cheeks to stop burning, but her mind continued spiraling, dancing between willing herself to take the next step and the fear that everything would unravel. Two hours later, the hall light flicked off as she heard the soft pads of Loid's socks against the hardwood and the click of his door's latch. This was going to be a long night.
The next morning was a blur, and Yor's head spun as she completed her office work. Really, she hadn't slept well and she wanted to clear her head. Furthermore, she had to figure out how she would surprise Loid -- without a surprise, he would think she had real secrets. And maybe she could figure out what might warrant giving him a welcome home kiss. Because that's what normal couples do.
By lunch, Yor took a half day, leaving early with the claim that it was their monthiversary and she needed a gift. The mall, full of color and noise and promise, spread before her, with an intimidating morass of people. After combing through several department stores, Yor slumped on a bench with her head in her hands. The girls had suggested gifts like tie clips, nice pens, and whiskey.
Nothing seems like something he'd like, she worried. I'm pretty sure he just wears all this for appearances, so Anya can go to school.
Lifting her head once more, her eye landed on a sign in the window of a small office supply store tucked between two larger stores, well hidden. "Ergonomic supplies: Bring rest and relaxation to the longest part of your day." He's always working so late, with so much paperwork. Maybe this will help! Her eyes brightened, and she stood again, with renewed conviction. No gift will escape me!
An hour later, Yor stood nervously by the front door, holding a small silver bag with olive green tissue paper. The office supply store ladies had been confused when they were asked to wrap this as a gift, but it's no matter. Her heart raced in her chest. What if he doesn't like it? Some wine should take the edge off...
She only made it through one glass of rosé -- not enough -- before steps in the hallway and a jingle of keys made her heart leap, and she found herself hiding just behind the corner as Loid opened the door. Calmer, Yor!
Taking a deep breath, she rounded the corner again, a hopeful smile on her face. She'd have to do this without the liquid courage. "Welcome home, Loid! Here's my--uh--secret--surprise! Hehe!" Oh God that sounded so stupid he's going to hate this.
"I, uh, got you something because, well..." She felt herself blushing again, and willed herself to step forward, bringing her face towards his cheek, closing her eyes... Just a little closer... Not too fast or you'll break his cheekbone...
Eep! The gift in her hands jostled against his sweater, and she paused again, electrified, opening her eyes. His face was oddly blank, serene as his blue eyes met hers and she searched for meaning. The small bag in her hands was now pressing against his chest. He swayed. Will he?
Their eyes were locked, Loid's face an inch from hers, and Yor felt nothing but the rush of her heartbeat in her ears as her embarrassment mounted. I can't do this!!! We haven't talked about it! He just wants to keep up appearances, I'm just his fake wife after all!
The stillness ended as Loid inhaled abruptly, and his mouth flattened briefly, his eyes narrowing. Oh no , and now he's upset.
As quickly as she had stepped forward, Yor began to back away. "Sorry!" But Loid set his hand on the gift's handle, just next to hers with a brush of their fingers, and in a blink his customary soft smile graced his face again as he maneuvered into the apartment, walking slightly around her, neither letting her escape nor drawing her near. Did I imagine his anger?
Loid shut the door behind him and peered into the gift. "What is this for? I don't remember anything special today."
"Oh, it's nothing..., we have been together six...uh... twelve plus six months, officially, after all, and I just wanted to surprise you... And... I thought you'd like these. They're for your wrists and hands, after writing and doing paperwork... You write a lot so ... Don't normal spouses give gifts on these sorts of occasions?" I hope you like it. I hope I'm not being too much right now. Oh, he must see right through me... If he knew I felt this way, would he want to keep me around or will my feelings just make things complicated?
Yor could have sworn Loid blanched again. He drew out the small items in the bag, and she closed her eyes, turning away. I can't watch, he's going to hate it!
A pause, rustles of tissue gift wrap.
"Wrist braces, and hand salve? This is a wonderful gift."
Yor peeked open her eyes at the sense of his closeness again. The coveted gentle smile graced his face momentarily, soft crinkles forming at the side of his eyes, and he placed his lips by her ear. Eep again! "Thank you, Yor." The barest hint of voice rumbled under the whisper.
His thanks was soft, almost breathed into her ear, and she stiffened, knees weak, immediately turning bright red. Nope, thought I could handle this, can't handle this, what do I doooooo?
Thankfully, Loid reversed again and palmed the door handle, turning away, breaking her descent into fighting mode. "Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I probably should go pick up Anya. I'll grab groceries, too, and take Bond for a walk."
Yor immediately ran three laps around the block when he left.
Upon return, Loid looked exhausted, but was carrying a small bouquet, and Anya looked smug. "Papa and Mama are gonna kiss!" She announced, as Loid stepped over the threshold and Yor helped with the bag.
"What?!" They both exclaimed at once, and looked away sheepishly.
"Oh, uh, Yor-- you were right about the six months. I can't believe I forgot; it would look suspicious! I hope these flowers make up for it."
The flowers were lovely, red roses and baby's breath.
That night, Yor couldn't get the way he'd glanced at her before looking away out of her head. Stop imagining things, Yor. You're only his fake wife. He'll have to say something before you do anything about it. Stop trying to make it more than it is. Even the flowers were for appearances....
She sighed. Another long night incoming.