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It started as a one-off remark.
It was a public proposal gone wrong. Public proposals always went wrong, in Buck’s experience. In the heat of a summer night, in a crowded park, Thomas Pullman and Nancy Lee had visited an outdoor local indie music festival and spent the night dancing to bands who, realistically, would never make it any further in their careers.
At the end of the night, Thomas had been invited onto the stage by the last band. He had seized the microphone, got down on one knee, and proposed to a stunned Nancy who was still in the crowd. The spotlight focused on her, she gasped, cried, and gave a hesitant nod.
Thomas jumped to his feet, leapt for joy,
And promptly fell off the front of the stage. His arms took most of the blow as he flung them out to break his fall. His chin hit the ground next. The ring in his hands rolled under the stage and wouldn’t be seen again until the cleanup crew took the staging down the next day.
“I hate public proposals,” Eddie grumbled, watching the ambulance pulling away with Thomas in a c-collar and Nancy crying over him, off to hospital for x-rays on his broken arms and potentially broken vertebrae. “They’re tacky, and put too much pressure on the proposee.”
“Proposee?” The new probie from B-shift, Ravi asked.
“The one being proposed to,” Buck, fluent in Eddie, explained without even having to think about it. “As opposed to the proposer.” He clapped his best friend on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Eddie. If I was going to propose to you, it wouldn’t be in public like that. Not even at a fancy restaurant.”
“Is it something you’ve thought about?” Bobby’s eyes sparkled with mirth, but Buck shook his head.
“I don’t have to,” He waved a hand. “I just know. Eddie hates having a fuss made.”
“So how would you do it?” Eddie asked, and Buck couldn’t explain the wave-feeling that rippled through his stomach and down to his toes.
“Well, if I was going to propose,” Buck didn’t even have to pause for thought. “I’d probably make you dinner. Personal touch. Your favourite-”
“Pizza with-” Eddie started, but Buck cut him off.
“Your real favourite. Your abuela’s enfrijoladas washed down with a Modelo.”
“And dessert?” Eddie asked, but Buck just smirked.
“We wouldn’t make it to dessert.” He winked, and Bobby groaned.
“Buck! We’ve discussed workplace conversations!”
~
The next time it happened, the words tumbled out of Buck’s mouth before he stopped to think whether or not Eddie remembered the previous conversation.
A florist had slipped on a puddle of water from a spilled display bucket and impaled herself on her secateurs. Chimney and Hen transported her to hospital, leaving the rest of the 118 to calm down the florist’s shaking assistant and help straighten up the shop.
“Hey,” Buck called to Eddie, setting aside his mop, despite only being halfway through clearing away the offending puddle. Eddie looked over from where he was hunting down the assistant’s water bottle from under the till. Buck stroked his fingers over the soft petals of some simple white roses. They smelled of perfume and the way the lunchtime sun glinted on them made them glow. “If I married you, we could have these as boutonnieres.”
“Nah,” Eddie grinned back. “We could have some of them.” He nodded to the bucket of purple-blue flowers, the small blackboard poking out pronouncing them ‘Freesias’. “Maybe with some forget-me-nots to make a corsage. They’d bring out your eyes.” Buck wasn’t entirely sure why his cheeks burned at Eddie’s remark. “Maybe some sunflowers at the end of the aisles.” Buck couldn’t help thinking that, if Eddie was around, the sun needn’t bother putting in an appearance. Eddie would outshine it anyway.
He wasn’t sure where that thought came from, either, but he liked it.
~
The fire at the strip-mall was so minor it was almost not worth the 118 attending; there were enough other engines and firehouses that Buck and Eddie had been assigned to Buck’s least-favourite task. Crowd control.
They were discussing their weekend plans while handing out water and trying to prevent the modest crowd of onlookers and gawkers
“-And there’s this new Brazilian place opening,” Eddie was telling him. “Chris was asking if we can go for dinner on Friday after Coding Club to celebrate his report card. You’re coming, right?”
“Uh-” Buck snapped back to the present and processed the information he had heard, even from miles away. “Yeah, yeah of course.”
“And you’re not going to get him that game you promised him,” Eddie told him firmly. “It’s too expensive, and he doesn’t need anything else.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck nodded distractedly, already wondering if he could get him a different reward instead. He’d promised the game if Chris had got straight As, and he wasn’t one to turn up empty-handed at the best of times. Maybe upgrade his Switch, or a new headset for his gaming. There was a really good one he’d come across advertised on his FYP, and $85 had seemed reasonable when some retailed for $200. But then a suit in a tux-rental store window caught his eye and he swatted at Eddie’s arm to draw his attention. “If I was marrying you, no way in hell would we be wearing that.” He nodded to the full morning suit display, with a silk cummerbund, tailcoat, cravat, and top hat. Eddie snorted derisively.
“Absolutely not.” He shook his head. “Plain suits, maybe matching ties.”
“And fancy waistcoats!” Buck gasped, and Eddie beamed at him.
“I was just thinking that! Would they match, too?”
“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “And with Chris, too.” He gasped again. “We could get them custom-made! Keep them as a souvenir!”
“Chris will wear his to every prom and formal until it no longer does up,” Eddie beamed. “I don’t think he’s ever had custom-made clothes before. He’ll be excited.”
“Oi! You two!” Chimney called across the concrete parking lot. “Let’s go!”
~
Pretty soon, it became an in-joke.
“Where did you get your menus from?” Buck asked the events planner at the fancy dinner interrupted by an overactive fire alarm. He had, now they had ascertained there was no danger, become distracted admiring the place settings, while Chim and Hen took advantage of the free bar to get a non-alcohol drink, and Bobby had a nose around the kitchens. “It’s for the wedding.” Buck explained to a curious looking Eddie, who nodded understandingly.
“Oh my god,” The shaken-looking events planner gasped. “Are you engaged? We also host weddings.”
“Oh, sorry,” Buck winced apologetically. “No, it’s just-”
“Just planning for the future, y’know?” Eddie explained. “It’s just a- a thing we do-” Buck saw him cringe as he realised he’d made it worse and tried to help out.
“Eddie’s straight,” He explained.
“We’re just friends,” Eddie added.
“There’s not actually a wedding at all,” Buck was well practised at talking himself into a hole, and one day, digging would succeed in getting him out of it. Thankfully, their radios crackled to life, asking them to return to the fire engine for their next job.
“I wouldn’t get married there anyway,” Eddie admitted as they headed back through the lobby of the hotel. “Something small in my backyard is all I need.”
~
Hostage situations shouldn’t be boring, but in reality, it was a lot of sitting round and waiting for something to happen. Baking in the hot sun, Buck sat on the front bumper of the fire engine, rolled his sleeves up, pushed his sunglasses further up his nose, shut his eyes, and tipped his head back to rest it against the engine. He listened as Hen and Chim discussed the impending visit from Buck’s parents. He listened as Bobby spoke on the phone, trying to find out information about Winding Path Residence. He listened as Eddie recapped last night’s telenovela episode.
“-And, get this,” Eddie was winding up to the big finale, Buck could just feel it. “He left her. At the altar. For Maria. That’s her sister. She was her maid of honour.”
“You wouldn’t leave me for Maddie, would you?” Buck asked lazily, forgetting his surroundings. Forgetting that simply naming his sister would make Chimney sit up and take notice.
“What?”
“Are you two-?” Hen asked slowly, as if asking the question outright would spook them into never talking about it again.
“No,” Eddie told them firmly.
“Eddie’s straight,” Buck reminded them, missing the looks the team exchanged. “I’m just saying, if I married Eddie, he couldn’t leave me at the altar for Maddie. Obviously she’s my maid of honour.”
“Not-” Chimney started haughtily, but Buck saw it coming.
“Jee’s flower girl,” He corrected. “Unless you want that honor.”
“Anyway,” Eddie protested. “You need to promise not to run off with Adri or Sophia.” Buck pulled a face.
“If I’m marrying you, I’m not leaving you for anyone,” he promised, making Eddie smile.
“But I’m your best man, right?” Chimney grinned with trademark cockiness, and Buck pretended to think before giving him a shit-eating grin.
“I dunno, I was thinking of asking Athena,” He allowed himself a laugh at the furious look on Chimney’s face. “Of course you, man.”
“And Hen, you’ll lead the ceremony, right?” Eddie asked, and Buck’s jaw almost dropped, once again stunned at the way they lived on the same brainwave.
“You’re not asking Bobby?” Hen asked, sounding genuinely surprised, and Eddie answered before Buck could even open his mouth.
“Nah, he’ll be the one giving him away.”
~
“For the wedding” Buck announced, holding up a pack of white lace tablecloths they came across at Costco while food shopping for the firehouse. Eddie pulled a face and shook his head.
“These guys are catering the wedding” Buck announced, as he went back for a second order from the new taco truck, which Eddie announced tasted more authentic than any other they had tried, and the closest to Abuela’s recipe she had learned from her grandmother.
“For the wedding” Eddie suggested, picking up the tackiest centre-pieces Buck had ever seen, and then laughing at Buck’s look of horror.
“We’re serving these at cocktail hour at the reception” Buck announced, sipping at the mocktail Bobby had made for the team dinner at his and Athena’s place for Harry’s 16th birthday.
“I take it this is where we’re getting our wedding cake from?” Eddie laughed, watching Buck and Christopher stuffing chocolate sponge into their mouths so fast Buck almost (almost – he’d learned his lesson) forgot to chew.
“They were never coming to the wedding,” Buck whispered into Eddie’s hair as he cried into Buck’s shoulder, both of them still reeling from the shock of Christopher leaving with his grandparents. “But they are so uninvited now.” Eddie just sobbed that he could never marry without his son by his side.
“You’re shaving that before the wedding” Buck told Eddie firmly, the day he arrived at the station with hair on his top lip.
Just polished the engine to perfection Buck texted Eddie, a week after he left for Texas. Hang a few bows on it and we can ride it to the wedding. Miss you lots.
Chess piece wedding favors are off, Lego firefighters are back on Eddie texted, the first reference to their in-joke since he had left. Also, Chris is moving in with me.
Babysitting today! Love Is An Open Door or Once Upon A Dream for the first dance? Buck texted. Eddie’s response almost made his heart skip a beat.
Have California summers always been this hot?! We’re absolutely getting married in Spring was all the warning Buck got before Eddie and Christopher were knocking on his door, announcing they were home for good.
~
Christopher was at the Wilsons’ for a gaming tournament with Harry, Denny and Mara. Buck and Eddie were on the sofa with burgers and beer, watching a film they’d been meaning to watch together forever, but Christopher had no interest in.
It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Until.
It had been a rough day for Buck. He was struggling with the change in dynamics in the firehouse, and struggling with the loss of a young patient. Eddie had watched him excuse him from conversations, withdrawing into himself, sitting quietly alone while everyone recovered together.
It started with Buck’s little finger brushing against Eddie’s. A jolt of warmth travelled from Buck’s finger, up Eddie’s and up his arm until the simple gesture was enough to warm Eddie’s chest. This was nothing new. Eddie had felt warmth from Buck’s touch for years; every brush of his hand, every bumped shoulder, every tight hug. Every smile from Buck was enough to bring Eddie to his knees, and every thoughtful, selfless action from his best friend made Eddie want to open his chest and present him his heart in his hands.
Eddie had been in love with Buck for years. It hadn’t slammed into him like a freight train, or struck him like lightning. It had been like sinking into a warm bath, or sipping a hot cup of cocoa, warming him from toes to fingertips. There was no pain of longing, or hurt from it not being real; Eddie’s place was next to Buck and as long as he stayed there, Eddie was home.
Fingers brushing turned into Buck slipping his hand into Eddie’s, which turned into him pressing his face into Eddie’s shoulder until he melted in. Eddie brought his hand up to stroke through Buck’s hair, leaning down to rest his cheek atop his friend’s head, only for Buck’s shoulders to shake as he finally relaxed enough to dissolve into tears.
Eddie held his friend and rubbed his back and made the same soothing noises he had made when Christopher had come for him after nightmares as a child. Without thinking he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Buck made a soft noise in the back of his throat and started to calm, so Eddie pressed another, then another.
Buck reached up and pressed his lips to Eddie’s, and it felt so natural, so right, Eddie didn’t even pause to be surprised. Never in a million years had Eddie thought his feelings reciprocated. Never in his wildest dreams could Eddie have imagined kissing Buck would be so perfect.
He let Buck deepen the kiss, let him take the lead, and when Buck pulled away, then were both beaming so hard Eddie couldn’t help leaning in for a second one.
“Eddie-” Buck breathed, once they pulled apart, but didn’t follow it up, almost like he was just seeing how the word felt in his mouth.
“Marry me.” Eddie blurted out before he could stop himself. Buck stared at him in disbelief, and Eddie couldn’t tell if he thought he was insane or just rejecting the idea.
“What?”
“I’m sorry-” Eddie started, but Buck shook his head.
“No. I mean, obviously I’ll marry you, I just didn’t expect-”
“We don’t have to-” Eddie stammered, but Buck kissed him again.
“I love you,” he told him, taking Eddie’s face in his hands to look him in the eyes. Buck’s blue eyes glittered with his trademark happiness, plus something Eddie didn’t recognise. “I have been in love with you since the minute I met you-”
“I loved you. You hated me the minute you met me,” Eddie teased, and Buck laughed. It was light and free and joyous and Eddie wanted to bottle it.
“I loved you,” He corrected, kissing the tip of Eddie’s nose before pulling back to lock eyes again. “I just didn’t realise it yet. So yes, I will marry you. Of course I’ll marry you.” He pressed another searing kiss to Eddie’s lips. “Wait there a second.” He gave Eddie’s forehead a tender kiss before hurrying off to his bedroom, leaving Eddie in stunned silence.
Almost in disbelief, Eddie moved his hand to touch his lips. Buck had kissed him. He had kissed Buck. He had proposed to Buck, without even a second thought. They were in love and they were engaged and it had all happened in a blink of an eye. He sat like that, unable to move, until Buck returned, triumphantly holding a-
No.
Eddie had seen scrapbooks before. Adriana had made a scrapbook for every occasion she could think of. My Dream Vacation. My Quinceañera. My Future Wedding. My First House. My First Year At College. They were bright, they were bulging. They were detailed.
This was a work of art.
Everything had been planned to meticulous detail. Dried flowers taped to a page, with a note next to it in Buck’s careful-yet-still-scrappy print. Forget-Me-Nots = True love. Sunflowers = eternal love. Freesia = friendship. Blue = loyalty. Next to the careful list of wedding clothes (Dress shoes. Normal suit. Matching ties – me, Eddie, Chris?) was glued a folded piece of paper. Carefully opening it, Eddie found it was one of Jee-Yun’s first pictures Buck had been gifted – hardly more than a few coloured scribbles on the page. Next to it, Buck had written custom fabric – waistcoats?
The menu from the taco truck Buck had fallen in love with. Abuela’s recipe for enfrijoladas. A rough sketch of wedding invitations. A guest list that had been added to and removed from over the years, as evidenced with different colours of pen. I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You written and circled, surrounded by doodles of musical notes and – Eddie’s heart clenched – a list of dance schools.
There was an approximate working out of how many feet of string lights would be needed to decorate Eddie’s garden, with an amendment in Bobby’s writing correcting the math. There was a list of potential wedding favours, and an article on the best biodegradable confetti, and a business card of a jewellers they had visited a year previously to rescue an intern who had accidentally locked themselves in the vault, alongside a rough sketch of a ring. Plaited metal – Buck, Eddie, Chris had been written beside it, and Eddie felt tears on his cheeks.
“Buck.” He breathed, and Buck, who had perched on the coffee table in front of him to watch him read, reached out to take his face in his hands and wipe away his tears with his thumbs.
“Is it OK?” He breathed, so tenderly, sounding so vulnerable, that Eddie couldn’t help letting more tears fall. Buck had taken every detail of their hypothetical planning – joking or not – and noted it down. He had then cracked open Eddie’s chest, presented his own still-pulsing heart, and placed it beside Eddie’s for safekeeping, so they could beat in time forever.
“It’s perfect.”