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1. Weaponized Bartender (or: I Choose You, Huskachu!) by BitOfRedShirt

   Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • No category
   • Complete Work

   07 Nov 2025

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Alastor & Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Valentino (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Velvette (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Drabble
   • Short One Shot
   • Random & Short
   • Crack
   • Crack not treated seriously
   • Comedy
   • Extended Scene
   • Glitter
   • Violence Via Glitter
   • I choose you
   • Huskachu
   • Pokemon
   • Pokemon Battles
   • Friendship
   • Explosive Friendship
   • This Is Fine
   • Husk is Too Old For This (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Husk is So Done (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Niffty Being Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Good Friend Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Niffty is a Menace (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Crazy Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
   • Humor
   • Dark Humor
   • Author Is Sleep Deprived
   • The Author Regrets Nothing
   • The Author Regrets Everything
   • Canon Compliant

   Summary

   When Niffty’s caffeine intake reaches “magical-girl apocalypse” levels, the Hazbin Hotel’s resident cat demon gets turned into a projectile weapon. There’s glitter, blood, screaming, and one very tired bartender begging the universe to end him.

   Basically: friendship, sparkles, and physics filing for unemployment.

   A minor rewrite of what I personally think should’ve happened in Season 2, Episode 4 of Hazbin Hotel.

   Rated M for stylized gore, use of the F-bomb, and excessive glitter-related war crimes.

   Series

   • Part 1 of Hell's Intermissions

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   494

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   7

   Kudos:

   56

   Bookmarks:

   6

   Hits:

   440