Chapter Text
“Ugh, why can’t I just move on already?” Marinette groaned as she lay on the chaise, fiddling with the start of a crochet project. “He literally told me he loves someone else. What more do I need?”
“Unfortunately, it’s not that simple, Princess,” Chat Noir consoled from the desk chair, idly spinning around as he munched on the pastries Marinette had brought up for him. “If that were enough, you’d think I would have managed to get over Ladybug by now. But every time I see her, I remember how beautiful and creative and witty and smart and…” he trailed off, looking away.
Marinette’s heart clenched at the hurt that flashed across his eyes, even momentarily. He only ever showed this part of himself around Marinette, and it broke her heart every time. She couldn’t help the familiar anger that flowed through her. An anger at the person who could make her kitty hurt like this. Anger at the person whom he loved so deeply, yet couldn’t even love him back. Anger at Ladybug. Anger at herself.
For a while now, Marinette had grown resentful of her crush on Adrien. Not only did it make her act in the most unhealthy ways, but it was making her beloved partner hurt so much. She found herself, once again, wishing she could kick this juvenile crush and love Chat like he deserved.
“Well,” he continued, interrupting her thoughts. “That’s besides the point. What I mean is that whoever that boy is, you must see as much in him as I see in Ladybug. It’s not easy to just ignore all that.”
He met her eyes, a rueful smile on his face. “But I gotta say, he must be as dense as the sun, if he doesn't realize how lucky he is. Who’s this mystery girl, anyway? I can’t imagine there’s anyone that could outshine you, Marinette.”
“Ugh, I don't even wanna know that, Chat! Besides, I’ve never even said anything to him. It isn't his fault. Not like Ladybug,” she sat up now, voice thick with emotion. “You've shown your love from day one, yet she can't get over some stupid crush!”
“Woah,” Chat sat forward. “Calm down, Mari. Give her a break. I imagine she’s going through just as much trouble as we are right now. It’s not her fault she fell in love with someone else.”
When Marinette thought of the phrase “kill ‘em with kindness”, she’d never imagined quite how literal it was.
She felt her heart twist, because it was true. Ladybug was going through the same trouble. It was always surreal, how she could imagine Ladybug as this other person, sometimes. When she imagined how that girl treated Chat, she felt a boiling rage. And an inexplicable jealousy. How lucky was she to be loved by Chat Noir, and take him so for granted? This boy who gives all of himself to her, and she can’t see what’s right in front of her?
And then the superposition collapses. Ladybug is Marinette, and Marinette is Ladybug. The guilt and anger mixed into something that burned painfully in her chest.
“Well, she shouldn’t have,” Marinette insisted, voice trembling now. “If it were my choice, I’d definitely choose you. Like, come on, who in their right mind wouldn’t want you? You’re the most amazing person I know!”
And, she really meant it. She thought of all the reasons she loved Adrien. He was kind. He was gentle. He always saw the best in people, and found a way to push them forward. But, Chat was all of that and more too. If she wasn't so hopelessly infatuated with Adrien, she had no doubt she would fall just as hard for Chat. Heck, she already did love him more than anyone else—perhaps more than anyone else could, she noted with a hint of pride possessiveness, given she loved him from both sides of her mask.
Chat had paused, eyebrows furrowed. Was that sadness or anger in his eyes? Marinette watched intently as he seemed to contemplate something, before speaking. “Well, even if that’s true, you still love Buttercup, don’t you? If I said I loved you, right now, would you be able to choose me?” he challenged, unintended bitterness creeping into his tone at the end.
A beat passed as Marinette realized exactly what he’d just said. Chat looked away, his voice now shaky as he whispered, “See, it’s not that easy.”
Marinette felt something snap inside her at that moment. Chat’s face was contorted in pain, yet held so much compassion it hurt her. She thought of “Buttercup” and how much she loved him. But all she could think about was Chat’s face, listening intently as she poured her heart out to him, under the guise of practice. She thought of Adrien’s soft smile, his kind green eyes, his gentle encouragement when she was feeling down. But it wasn't Adrien's face that she saw—it was a certain cat, who looked so broken before her now.
“Yeah? Well maybe I don’t love him anymore!” she nearly yelled. “Maybe I’m fed up with this stupid crush, and this stupid guilt, and what if I do choose who I love?” She got up, and stalked towards Chat, laying her hands on his shoulders as she leaned in. “Maybe I say I love you too, Chaton! I choose you. What then?”
Marinette let her resentment spill over as she held him tight, pinning him with a glare full of frustration, hurt, and longing. Chat was stunned speechless for a moment, as he took in the girl before him. The determined set of her jaw. The fire in her eyes. The strength in her arms, gripping his shoulders. His heart was seized by a sudden surge of warmth as Marinette suddenly infiltrated his thoughts, every moment they’d ever shared flashing before his eyes. In the next moment, he was out of the chair, hands on her waist, drawing her close.
“I’d say ‘I love you too,’ Princess,” he breathed, laying his forehead against hers. “If you’re strong enough to choose who you love, I know I can choose you too.”
Marinette could cry. In fact she did start crying, as his lips met hers. Marinette stood flush against Chat’s body, her hands migrating from his shoulders to his neck. His hands around her waist held her up as she melted into him. Their lips barely moved; the pair simply soaked in the moment, lips languidly caressing each other’s. A long moment later, they slowly parted.
“I take back what I said before,” he smirked. “That Buttercup must have worse luck than the literal Black Cat of Destruction, if he managed to lose his chance with you.”
Marinette didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She settled for both, as Chat gently wiped the new tears away. “What’s wrong, my princess?”
As a matter of fact, there was a whole lot wrong. She felt guilty for kissing him as Marinette. She wanted so badly to transform right now, and tell him how sorry she was, but couldn’t bring herself to face his reaction. She felt that nagging in the back of her mind, that she was betraying her feelings for Adrien. She felt the fear, rooted deep inside of her, ever since she’d faced Chat Blanc, of a world under water and a moon in pieces. His words echoing in her mind. Our love did this to the world.
But, of course, she couldn’t tell him any of this. She didn’t want to burden him with all of her problems. Right now, she wanted to bask in the comfort of finally being loved; truly loved, in all her parts, even if he didn’t know it yet.
“I just- If I knew it was that simple, I would have done it years ago,” she laughed. “You were right here all along.”
She rose up on her toes, and kissed him again. The kiss carried all of her guilt, shame, fear, and deep, deep, longing. He returned in kind, holding her like he never wanted to let go. The calmness gave way to passion burning in their hearts, as their lips danced against each other until they were gasping for breath. Barely a glance was shared, eyes conveying all they needed to, before they were melting into each other once more.
Words were foregone, as the two simply basked in the feeling of finally being complete. The freedom was intoxicating, as though they were riding a hot-air balloon, and had just let go of two huge sandbags. Their worries could come later. For now, they had all they needed right in their arms.