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Jason ended up falling asleep on the couch halfway through Zombieland, and Dick didn’t want to move him. After the movie finished, he continued to sit on the couch in silence, thinking about his day.
It’s still settling in his mind, some of it. He doesn’t really know why either, because he’s dealt with sexual offence cases many times under the mask. Maybe because it’s personal… but, it didn’t feel this heavy when Kory had opened up to him about her past.
It’s like seeing Jason in a new light now. It was easy when he was just some spoiled, bratty kid whose life was like a Disney princess’s; from rags to riches. He could rag on Jason for being his replacement, both in the role of Bruce’s son and Batman’s Robin.
Now, he can’t view the kid in a one-dimensional way, and it sucks. Jason’s a kid with his own issues, his own traumas, and his own complicated feelings.
Dick’s getting whiplash from being able to be ignorant and aloof, to being forced into handling this situation with the seriousness and responsibility it deserves. That’s not all he’s feeling though, Dick feels pure rage against the people who harmed Jason in such a way. He’d never imagined that he’d ever feel anger for the new Robin, instead of towards, but this day has already been full of surprises.
He doesn’t know if or when he’ll be able to move, it’s like his presence feels different against the weight of the world. He can’t tell if he’s above the rest of the world, as if he’s some important being, or if he’s floating away from it, like he’s losing touch.
He looks over at Jason’s form again, the boy looks peaceful. His face reads that none of today happened, but the rest of the image is a constant reminder. He’s out of place on Dick’s couch, in Dick’s apartment.
Finally, he decides to look at his phone, and this time he decides to read the reply that Bruce sent him. It reads; “Everything okay?”. It’s simple, not really accusing, easy to respond to. Is it easy to respond to though? Everything isn’t okay, but he doesn’t want Bruce freaking out, and he definitely doesn’t want to have this conversation over text. Yet it’ll feel awkward to say everything is okay, only to come over tomorrow and say that it is not okay.
After staring at the screen for so long his eyes feel dry, he starts typing, “Yeah but Jason wants to talk to you about some stuff tomorrow”. Simple, not concerning, and not a lie either. He takes a picture of Jason curled up and sleeping just for safe measure, he doesn’t feel like having Bruce on his ass tonight.
He’s not sure whether he should stay in the living room tonight, in case Jason wakes up from a nightmare and gets confused on why he’s in a strange apartment on a couch. Or, if he should go to his bedroom and sleep in his actual bed, it’s more likely he’ll get better sleep there. Fuck, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to get any sleep tonight either way. His mind is too active.
A part of him, a selfish part, wishes that today never happened so that he wouldn’t be feeling his strange mix of emotions. Jason could’ve just gone to Bruce or something. Another part of him knows he shouldn’t think like that, the kid was obviously scared of the man.
He eventually decides to get up and do something; maybe it’ll make him feel better. Dick slowly stands up from his awkward position on the couch and feels stiff. He quietly makes his way over to the kitchen in an effort not to wake Jason up. It's a small distance away but the floorboards can be creaky.
After delicately shuffling around various cupboards, Dick finally finds a small bottle of melatonin and shakes a few pills into his palm. He puts away the bottle and grabs his forgotten water glass from earlier before drinking the stale water to wash down the pills. Hopefully it will make sleeping at least possible tonight.
When he puts the glass down and turns back towards the living room, he realizes that he actually has to decide where he’s going to sleep tonight. Dick gives it little thought when he makes the decision to stay in the living room. Not like he’s gonna sleep well either way. He goes to a storage closet and pulls out a large comforter that he only uses in the colder season, and puts it on the floor. He goes back to grab some other extra blankets and quickly goes into his bedroom to get a phone charger and pillow.
Dick makes quick work of setting up where he’ll be sleeping on the floor tonight. Despite his efforts he’s unable to make the floor very comfortable but it’ll have to do. He lays down and stares at Jason for a bit, trying to focus on the present and wash away the icky feeling he got from the rest of the day.
His little brother looks peaceful and comfy. The sight makes Dick feel a little bit better.
He does fall asleep eventually, probably only because of the melatonin. Staying asleep is harder though. He keeps on waking up throughout the night, either because he’s too hot or too cold. Or maybe it’s all the nightmares he’s getting, but when he wakes up he can’t recall what they were about. At one point he wakes up, feeling comfortable and not feeling like he had a nightmare right before. He stays still before turning his head and opening his eyes when he hears a creak. It takes a moment in the dark, but his eyes adjust and he can make out a gray, grainy figure in the dark. The sight makes him sit up, with enough speed that it makes him feel dizzy.
"Shit. Uh, sorry.” Dick hears a young voice say. It’s just Jason.
“You good?” He hears himself saying, voice tired.
“Yeah, I just uh needed to piss. Didn’t mean to wake ya.”
“No worries, um. If you need anything let me know alright?” He says, leaning back on his arm after deciding that everything is fine.
Jason doesn’t move though, just stands where he is for a minute. Dick is about to ask if he’s sure, when Jason suddenly makes his way back to the couch. The boy lays down in his spot again, wrapping the blanket around himself, but his posture is stiff. It's obvious that something’s bothering him. Dick doesn’t want to ask though. Mostly because he’s out of energy when it comes to taking on this whole situation, but also because he’s afraid of doing something wrong. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Jason in some way right now.
So Dick doesn’t lay down, he stays in his position and tries to ignore the pain slowly growing in his elbow from holding up his body against the floor. In his mind he goes through different options of what he could say, trying to be quick. When he finally lands on an option he hears the young voice again.
“Is there a light that we could maybe turn on?” Jason asks quickly and quietly. Dick is still for a second before rushing to a response to keep things from being awkward.
“Yeah, yeah sure uh…” There’s not any lamps in his apartment aside from the one in his bedroom, and he doesn’t feel like moving it… Oh the TV. “Wanna have the TV turned on and muted in the background?”
“If that’s fine. I ain’t scared of the dark or nothin’ I just, I don’t know.”
“It’s fine, I get it. It’s probably just those bat-instincts going off about sleeping in a new place.” It's probably just nightmares about what awful people did to him.
Dick scrambles to find wherever the remote went, bending in weird poses in an effort to not fully leave his pile of blankets. When he finally finds it he powers-on the television and puts on some random sit-com with the volume muted. If the light itself isn’t enough, then maybe Jason can find distraction from idiotic adults in funny situations.
“That good?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” He hears Jason reply with a stiff voice. Dick turns his head to look at the boy now that he’s illuminated by the screen. His curls are unruly looking and his face is red with puffy eyes. Just like when Dick first came to the manor not even twenty-four hours ago. He considers saying something before deciding to leave it. It’s more than likely that Jason’s feeling embarrassed about this whole deal, so he doesn’t want to poke at him. If Jason wants to tell him anything else then he will.
Dick lays back down and attempts to go back to sleep again, which isn’t to say that he didn’t fall back asleep, but it was so light that he isn’t sure if it even counts.
He wakes up still tired with a stiff back and a slight pounding in his head. When he turns over to Jason on the couch he sees that the boy is knocked out and quietly snoring once every few minutes. Good. He can get up and prepare himself for today without worrying about Jason.
He carefully stands up and makes his way to the bathroom with delicate steps to take a piss. He splashes cold water on his face after washing his hands and looks in the mirror. The fact that he didn’t sleep well is thankfully, barely evident on his face. He leaves that bathroom after confirming that he isn’t looking insane, and heads for his bedroom. Dick changes out of the clothes he’s currently wearing, which are the same ones he was wearing yesterday morning, and puts on something clean. The new set of clothes makes him feel refreshed.
When he walks out of his room he sees that Jason is still sleeping. He’s starting to think that the boy barely got any sleep before he turned the television back on.
He should get something for them to eat.
Dick could order food, but at the moment he’d rather have something to distract him. So he goes through a little wooden box of recipes that Alfred gave him after moving out, and finds the recipe for pancakes. Honestly, he doesn’t use the recipes often, he’s not really into cooking and would rather just eat whatever instant food he picked up from the grocery store. It’s faster and probably tastes better than whatever he’d cook half the time anyways.
He gathers the ingredients and mixes them all together in a bowl, then puts a pan on the lit stove-top. Admittedly, he doesn’t find pancakes the easiest thing to make, but he’s sure he can manage it today.
He truly does put in effort, but after taking the third questionably looking pancake off the pan he begins to lose hope. They kinda look like shit, and for some reason the texture is… unique.
He turns the stove off and starts looking for bakeries nearby, where he could pick up some baked goods for him and Jason to eat on their way back to Gotham. While he’s scrolling through the options on his phone he hears shuffling from the living room and the sound of footsteps coming towards him.
He greets the boy, “Morning-” Jason cuts him off, “Those look like shit.” The boy says, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Thanks Sherlock Holmes. I’m trying to find somewhere for us to pick up food on our way back to the manor.” Dick replies. Jason looks around the kitchen for a minute before looking back at Dick.
“I could make pancakes if you want. So you don’t have to like, make a stop or anythin’.” Jason says almost hesitantly. When Dick doesn’t say anything he continues, “I know how to cook, I was cookin’ before Bruce took me in. And uh, Alfred has me help in the kitchen sometimes.”
“Do you want to cook?” Dick asks. He’s pretty sure that the boy does, but he wants to make sure he isn’t only offering out of guilt or repayment or something.
Jason looks at Dick and nods.
“Um. Sure, why not? All the ingredients are still out, except eggs and milk are in the fridge. If you need anything let me know.” He says, while moving the dirty mixing bowl into the sink and grabbing a clean one from a drawer. “Do you know Alfred’s recipe?”
“Do bears shit in the woods?” is all the reply he gets before Jason starts measuring the flour.
Dick leaves the kitchen once he confirms that Jason knows what he’s doing and won’t start a fire. He needs more distractions, so he heads back to the living room to start folding and putting away his sad blanket-bed. However, the actions are automatic as his mind runs free again.
He feels better than he did yesterday- lighter. Jason seems fine too, the kid got up, was rude, and started cooking like he owns the kitchen. It’s like the conversations from yesterday never took place. Hopefully, once he drops Jason off at the manor it’ll stay like that. Bruce can talk to his son, cheer the boy up, and everyone’s happy, everything’s normal.
Fuck, he’s probably a shitty person for feeling that way. Jason was raped. Probably more than once, and he’s trying to act like it’s just some stupid teenager problem. Because what? It makes it easier for him? He doesn’t want to feel shitty about how he saw and treated Jason? Or because if he’s detached from Jason, he can stay detached from Bruce, and continue ignoring the man most of the time.
Dick finishes putting the folded blankets in the same hallway closet before peaking around the corner to check on Jason. He seemingly notices the pair of eyes on him and turns his gaze to Dick, before focusing on what Dick is assuming is a cooking pancake.
Jason speaks, “Your fridge is pretty empty… If you can’t afford groceries Bruce would probably give you the money. If you just like, ask him.” he says, with what might be a bit of hope at the end.
“Huh? Oh, no it’s not like that. I’m just lazy, and as you can probably tell I’m not the best cook.” He finishes with a light laugh.
“Oh, ok. You… Why don’t you talk to Bruce?” Jason asks, having his gaze fixed on the hot pan.
The question throws Dick off guard, his relationship with Bruce isn’t supposed to concern Jason. He gives himself a few seconds to collect himself before answering; “It's complicated. Not something for you to worry about.”
“Mm. You know, he talks about you a lot. Like how great you are and stuff.”
If the last question threw Dick off guard, then this statement launched him off a cliff. Does Bruce talk about him a lot, or is the kid just messing with him?
He starts walking towards Jason and leans on the counter, watching the boy flip a pancake onto a plate before pouring another circle of batter onto the hot pan.
Dick lets out a scoff, “Does he now? Well, too bad he doesn’t say any of that stuff to me, otherwise I’d actually consider keeping in contact more often.” Jason isn’t involved in this. He wishes the kid would stop being nosy.
“But… if I tell Bruce about what I told you, you’d stay with me right? In case Bruce gets mad then I can go back with you right?”
“Jason, buddy, it’s not an if you tell him, it’s a when you tell him” He says, which only gets him a glare from Jason. “And… yeah if you really want me to, I’ll stay.” he adds with a sigh.
“How much do I hafta tell ‘im?”
“Uhm, well, at least tell him that you got molested when you were homeless. He’ll definitely have more questions but I don’t know what they’re gonna be. Sorry.”
Jason takes in a breath, holds it for a second, and lets out a wobbly sigh. “It’s not even a big deal or anythin’. If I never said anythin’ to you, then everything would’ve just stayed normal. Why does it hafta change? I wasn’t tryna do anythin’ wrong." he looks like he’s on the verge of tears.
He feels out of depth, “Jay, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just. You need help.”
“I don’t need help though! I’m fine- you’re gonna tell him and then he’s gonna think I’m disgusting or- or weak! ‘Cause I didn’t do anythin- didn’t stop ‘em and how can I be Robin if I- I didn’t… No… Please don’t tell him.” The boy’s voice cracks, as it rises and falls in volume while he’s starting to spiral.
He doesn’t know what to do to make the kid calm down, “Let’s… let’s eat some pancakes yeah?” Distraction. He needs to think.
Jason sniffles and nods, then flips the last pancake onto a plate. There’s two plates, both of them with equal amounts of pancakes, sitting on the counter. Dick gently slides his hands under the plates and jerks his head towards the coffee table in the living room.
“I’ll put these on the table, while you grab the syrup and whatever other toppings you want.” He instructs and starts moving after seeing Jason nod. Dick places the plates on the rectangular table and sits down with his legs criss-crossed. Jason comes over shortly after with the syrup and a can of whipped cream that he puts on the table.
“Are we just sittin’ on the floor?”
“Yeah, unless you’re above such peasant behavior.” Dick jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Jason snorts and drops onto the ground opposite to Dick with an “omf”.
“I forgot I had whipped cream, you sure that’s not expired?” He doesn’t feel like shitting himself on the drive to the manor.
“Yeah I checked already, expires tomorrow.” Jason replies, voice steadier and just a little bit happier.
“Just means we gotta finish the can huh?” He says, taking the plastic top off and spraying a bunch on his plate. When Jason goes to reach for it Dick raises his arm out of reach before he quickly shoves it into Jason’s face to spray the contents on the boy’s forehead. Jason sits there stunned for a second, before bursting out into a fit of laughter. He uses one hand to wipe the whipped cream off his face, and the other to try to blindly reach for the can.
“Fuckin’ dickhead!” Jason manages to say when the laughter turns into giggles. The sight makes Dick feel happy. Connected. Making his little brother laugh feels rewarding. Like when Bruce would give him a smile before he went to bed after patrol.
Dick sets the can on the table and throws a napkin at Jason. The boy finishes licking his hand before using the napkin to aggressively wipe at his face and hands.
“You got some in your hair.” he says, which is true, the boy has quite a generous amount of whipped cream stuck to the front of his curled bangs.
“Fuck you if I end up bein’ sticky for the rest of today.” he mumbles while attacking his hair with the napkin.
Dick finally turns his attention to the small pile of pancakes in front of him, picking up a knife and fork to start eating. Damn is his first thought when he actually tastes them, because they’re actually really good. Probably better than what Aflred makes.
“Jason, these are delicious.” The boy doesn’t reply, instead focusing on his own helping.
When they’re finished Dick brings the dishes back to the kitchen and into the sink, while Jason carries the rest. When everything is where it should be Dick grabs his keys and turns to Jason.
“Well, let’s get going now huh?” He says, keeping his voice light and free of stress. He hopes Jason will stay in his good mood. But from what he sees after announcing their departure, he knows that’s not gonna happen. The boy is staring at the floor again with his fists clenched, completely still.
“Jason…” With that the boy stomps towards the door and swings it open, stepping into the hallway. Dick lets out a sigh and goes through the doorway, turning around and locking the door behind him. The walk to the car is full of silence that reeks of tension. When they finally reach the parking lot, Jason starts walking noticeably slower.
“Y’know prolonging this isn’t gonna do anything right? Even if you don’t end up telling him, I will.” He is starting to get a little frustrated- he doesn’t want to, but he only has so much patience. Still, if he’s feeling upset about this, he can’t imagine how Jason’s feeling.
He opens his car door and goes inside, keeping his eye on Jason through the windows while the boy continues his slow pace. His palms are rubbing against his knees automatically, the stress minutely manifesting into actions. Jason makes it to the car eventually, and opens the door sluggishly before shutting it aggressively. With the boy in the car Dick closes his own door and starts putting on his seatbelt, giving Jason a reminder to do the same.
The car is filled by music from a random radio station, the only other sound heard is the turn signal beeping rhythmically. During the drive Dick wonders if he’s doing the right thing. Jason seems miserable at the moment and it’s making Dick feel guilty after having fun with the kid earlier this morning. He feels bad for forcing the kid to do something he so obviously doesn’t want to. Not like he can blame him either, if he was in Jason's situation he’s pretty sure that the only way he’d ever come out to Bruce about it, is with a big dose of truth serum.
On the other hand, he knows it needs to be done. Probably. If Jason’s past has caused him long-term problems, then it’s better that they be discovered now then further down the line. Also, it’s important for Jason to understand how much Bruce loves him; Bruce would never criticize him over something like this. He’s probably gonna smother the boy in love in his own unique, awkward way, and then go on to find the fuckers who hurt him and cut their balls off or something.
When they’re just entering Gotham Jason finally says, “You certain that Bruce won’t get mad at me?”, still looking out the window.
“I promise he won’t” he reassures confidently.
“I was always… I’ve just been scared ‘bout somethin’ like this happenin’ for a while. Like he finds out and thinks I’m weak, or disgusting, or just doesn’t wanna believe me. And bein’ Robin has been nice too. It’s like bein’ able to become a new person, like all that stuff never happened to me because I’m untouchable as Robin or whatever… I was nothin’ for a really long time and even though I did shit to get money to survive I always kinda had a thought that I was just prolonging my death. Becoming something… someone has been real’ nice and I’m just afraid to lose it, is all.” Jason confesses.
The music in the car fills the silence while Dick takes a minute to respond, “I don’t think you need to be Robin in order to be a person Jason. You’ve earned the right to live just by being alive. And you’ll always be someone, you don’t need the approval of others for that. Just… keep on surviving. You’re clearly a pro at it already.” He finishes with a grin towards Jason's direction.
Neither of them talk again for the rest of the drive. Though, Dick can easily see how nervous Jason is by the time they’re pulling up the drive-way. When they park Dick is about to ask the kid if he’s ready, before realizing that he’s probably just gonna get a “no” as a response. And then he wouldn’t know what to say, so he just doesn’t ask.
He unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the car door, watching Jason do the same. When they make it to the front door they’re greeted by a familiar, old face.
“Young Masters.”
“Hi Alfred” Dick returns, stepping into the building with Jason behind him.
“When I said that I had hoped to see the two of you return at a reasonable time, I did not mean to imply the next day.” The man says, while raising an eyebrow at the pair.
“Yeah sorry about that, we just got carried away. I was excited to see my little brother, is all. With Bruce keeping him locked up in here like a princess.”
“Well at least the two of you returned in one piece, so all wasn’t forgotten was it? Master Bruce is currently in the family living room, waiting for your arrival. I shall prepare some sandwiches, unless there is something else I can make for the two of you?”
“No, sandwiches are good. Thanks Alfie.” Jason answers. With that the two of them walk through the various hallways to reach the room Bruce is in. The room has multiple loveseats and larger sofas positioned around the ornate rug. There are blankets and pillows resting on each seat, making the room look welcoming. Bruce is sitting on one of the larger sofas with his legs crossed and propped up on a footstool, reading.
When Dick enters the room he turns to see Jason standing behind him. Then he looks at Bruce, and waits for the man to look back at them. When he finally does he closes the book, putting it on a side table and greets them.
“Hi Jason, Dick.” He says, nodding at the both of them. “I heard that you wanted to talk to me Jason, is that right?” He continues, focusing his gaze on what little of Jason he can see. Jason slowly moves so that he’s beside Dick instead of behind.
“Uh… Yeah, um. Is that okay?” The boy asks cautiously.
“Of course son, go ahead… Do you want Dick in here?”
“Yeah… I just um.” Jason turns to Dick and stares at him with eyes begging for help. “Can you?”
“You want me to tell him?” Dick asks, and gets a “mhm” in response.
“Alright, sure.” Dick says with an exhale. He doesn’t know how Jason wants Bruce to find out, and he’s scared that he’s gonna upset the kid even more. “During lunch yesterday Jason had… informed me that he had been raped while he was homeless.” He hears the boy suck in a breath of air while he’s saying it.
“Is that true Jay?” Jason seems to freeze for a second, being directly asked a question, and only responds with a hum in confirmation. “Okay. Okay, is there anyone in particular you remember? What can you tell me?” Jason shakes his head and whispers an apology.
“That’s alright. I- There’s some things we will have to talk about, but how about we take a break for now? We can talk more later.” The boy goes stiff at the words, fear radiating off of him. Bruce notices and asks, “Is that okay?”
“I- What uhm. What do you want to talk about?” Jason forces out.
“Well generally I thought we could discuss a medical appointment, make sure you’re healthy. Maybe you can think about therapy? Oh, is there something else you wanted to tell me?” Jason looks nervous at the last question, so Dick nods to him.
“Can- Am I still allowed to be Robin?”
The question seems to surprise Bruce, but he responds quickly without hesitation, “Of course you are. Do you want to continue being Robin?”
“Yes. Yeah, I do. If that’s fine.”
“Do you think that I’m upset at you Jay?” A few seconds pass and Jason remains silent, giving Bruce a sad look on his face. When Jason notices he replies clumsily, “I- um no I didn’t I don’t know…”
“Jason, I’d never be mad at you for something like this. Please, if anyone, ever, touches you like that I want you to come to me. I’ll stick by your side, I promise.” The boy nods a few times, keeping eye-contact with Bruce.
“Would you two like to sit down as well? We can put on a movie or maybe you two can set up a video game?” Bruce asks. Dick sighs with relief, now that the main root of his stress from the past twenty-four hours has finally been solved. Jason still looks on edge, but it’s better than looking like he was a disappointed sigh away from a panic attack. Which he is how he looked from the car ride to not even a minute ago.
“Maybe in a bit. I gotta change my clothes, been wearing ‘em since yesterday.” Jason says, before slowly walking out of the doorway and presumingly heading upstairs. When Dick can no longer hear footsteps Bruce looks at him and opens his mouth. Dick stiffens for the second it takes for the man to form words– he doesn’t think he can handle Bruce giving him shit right now.
“I’m glad you took him out for lunch yesterday.” Oh. “When I first came home to the news that you had taken him out and ditched the plans to have dinner, I was… upset. But, I’m thankful you talked to him Dick. I’m thankful he told you. You did good.” It’s not the response he was expecting, nor prepared for, but he’s gotten used to being told unexpected things by now.
“Yeah well. That’s my job B, he’s my little brother.” He says with a grin.
“I’m sure you’re staying for lunch. Maybe dinner even?” The man asks, with… hope?
“Yeah, sure.”
When Jason eventually comes back downstairs Alfred had already finished making the sandwiches, leaving a tray on the coffee table. With little debate the three of them decide on watching a movie. Jason once again cocooned himself in blankets and is sharing the large sofa with Bruce. While Dick has awkwardly, yet comfortably, stretched himself over a loveseat right beside. The movie is playing without distraction, yet Dick is unable to fully pay attention, because he’s busy relishing in the fact that for the first time in a while, he feels like he's a part of a family.