Archive of Our Own ^beta

P I N - L E E

It takes them another 8 minutes to release SecUnit from the cage. Another fucking 8 minutes of it dangling over a vat of acid, staring down at them as Pin-Le argued with the company representative over the final transfer papers and signatures on the feed device. The corporate rim humans don’t even care, standing around looking baffled and concerned over the delay in their jobs and not the person in a cage that they almost killed.

By the time Pin-Lee finishes filling out the last of the papers to fully authorise the release of SecUnit into their hands, the company representative is just as flustered and aggravated. They hope the delays reflects on their performance badly, delays some other SecUnits from being murdered since they can only afford the one.

Pin-Lee swallows as the cage is moved from over the acid to the top of the ramp, hits it with a loud noise that makes SecUnit lose its balance for a moment.

Their heart is hammering against their ribs, they feel stretched thin and exhausted, unable to relax until they get SecUnit out of here and away from these monsters.

Ratthi, jittering in place at their side, loses the last of his patience and shoves past the armoured SecUnits in standby, sprints past the safety barriers to stand outside the cage and speak frantically at SecUnit. “SecUnit, deity. Oh, SecUnit. We’re getting you out of here. We’re here. You’re going to be safe.”

He keeps up the ongoing murmur despite the company workers and representative muffling laughs and looks. Pin-Lee hears a fragmented, “-bot fucker.” and is furious. Those heartless fucks.

“Well?” They aggressively shove the feed device back into the company representative’s arms. “Release our fucking SecUnit already. Or do you want more delays in your PPI?” That shuts them all up. That’s right, they know all about your stupid performance penalty metrics. Pin-Lee hopes they’re suffering personal financial losses.

“Just a moment, please.” The corporate representative is all smiles, taps through the device to finally unlock SecUnit from its cage. She even has the nerve to look relieved that she’s getting rid of SecUnit, like this whole thing has been an inconvenience and this moment is the highlight.

They’ve saved it - they’ve bought it like it’s an overpriced novelty commemorating their survey and not a person that was waiting to die.

It doesn’t leave the cage until Ratthi orders it to. It’s a kindly given order, with all the Preservation pleasantries of please and thank you, but Pin-Lee knows that in the heartless wasteland of the Corporation Rim, it’s still an order.

It makes their stomach turn to watch SecUnit follow Ratthi precisely down the ramp.

Then it stands naked before them and Pin-Lee inhales a sharp breath as they finally get a good look at it.

SecUnit is a mess.

It was obviously naked, but now they can see its synthetic skin is covered in signs of mistreatment. What on Preservation did they do to it? Bruises are spread across its entire body, primarily its torso but also along its legs, its arms, the back of its shoulders. They’re an awful shade of silvery-blue and red. Did they beat it before lining it up to be melted down? Some sick game with the decommissioned SecUnit?

Streaks of dried blood and assorted fluids are smeared across its face, some of its own fluids trickling out from its ears. Many of the cuts are still fresh, oozing lightly as it stands in front of them and placidly ignores their inspection. Pin-Lee swallows and tries to blink away the image, dirt and dust that is clinging to its wounds and the way they can smell that metallic mixture with it so close.

It hurts to see it like this.

SecUnit stands perfectly still, but its eyes are not stationary. They are wide and constantly moving inbetween Pin-Lee, Ratthi and the bored looking company representative. Sometimes it tilts its head slightly enough to look back at the armoured SecUnits. Pin-Lee thinks it looks hurt.

And these fuckers wanted to destroy it.

“We can’t leave it like this.” Their voice is sharper than intended and aggravated. Good, let them think they are another unhappy customer fucking up their PPIs. They sharpen their voice even more. “Where are the cleaning facilities? Where are its clothes?”

The company representative laughs then turns it into a cough as Pin-Lee switches their glare from a deep cut on SecUnit’s forehead to her. “This sale of purchase doesn’t include a servicing.” She’s swiping through her feed display, “We can provide you with a standard level skin suit as a gesture of good will to apologise for the confusion in this transfer. But a service will require an additional cost, we have several levels to choose from. We would need to take the SecUnit for an hour and put it-”

“No. You’re not taking it.” Pin-Lee interrupts her spiel as she gets more animated and enthusiastic about making a sale to them. They’re not giving them a chance to hurt it any more than they’ve done. “Are there no cleaning facilities we can use so it’s not walking around like this?”

The representative’s lips tighten at the loss of her commission and she flicks the display device closed in annoyance. “Well, this is what you bought then. No servicing included.” She gestures at SecUnit, somehow not looking at it once, not even by accident. “Take it as it is or leave it - for an additional cost.”

“No.” They’re choking back a scream, taking an unconscious step to place themselves between the representative and SecUnit. “You’re never touching this SecUnit again.” The idea of leaving it with the company alone, for even a second, is upsetting and terrifying. That the company would then charge them to have the access to continue to hurt it, makes them so furious that they want to grab the display device toss it into the acid.

Pin-Lee is furious and upset, but manages to choke back the words they want to scream. “We’ll take it. As is.” You fucking monsters. They shove all their rage down into their stomach, making a promise to retaliate with interest for SecUnit’s treatment once they get it out of there.

The company representative is all customer service smiles again. “Splendid! A survey on your experience will be sent to you along with your final invoice. We hope you are happy with your refurbished SecUnit and will consider buying from the company in the future.”

R A T T H I

They get SecUnit into the hotel’s shower and it stands there staring at them blankly. The hotel is nice to look at but everything in it is ever so slightly too small, too bare, too open. You could fit two people in the cubicle if they were very friendly and not in the mood for getting clean, but there was no way they were going to fit in one large, battered SecUnit and two humans trying to sooth its injuries. Not without jabbing elbows into stomachs and missing spots.

They can’t bring SecUnit back to the others like this. Not as a silent, limping shell of itself. To stand it in front of them when they hadn’t been able to prevent this, with the signs of its mistreatment across its flesh and staining its skin suit.

It hasn’t reacted to anything, but it still seems disrespectful and cruel to make it do that.

“Okay.” He feels better making the decision out loud to Pin-Lee and SecUnit, “The public bath it is.” His voice is a little to loud in the shower, echoes around them, hollow like his confidence. Get it together Ratthi, for SecUnit, he scolds himself.

The hotel has a public bath room and it is thankfully empty. It is as open and as oddly barren as their private rooms. There is no artwork, only an endless array of screens promoting a range of bath-related items they can purchase on the feed. There is a soft tune of music filling the air, a jingle about some kind of bath salt that can enhance their experience. It’s both visually empty and gharish to the eyeballs.

The hotel attendants had given him the expected side-eye when Ratthi enquired about them taking their clothes away to be cleaned and returned, their smiles tightening into thin, disapproving lines as they glanced at SecUnit’s blood seeping through its skin suit and the patches that had smeared onto Ratthi and Pin-Lee both as they tried to make the shower cubicle work.

Ratthi straightens his shoulders and refuses to look at them, dares them to argue with him. Yes, they’re leading their beaten up friend, who happens to be a construct, into a public bath room and they need their clothes cleaned of the Corporate Rim induced pain. What of it?

He flashes a smile at them, makes sure to crinkle his eyes in that way that makes even Pin-Lee soften. Keeps his voice warm as he thanks them.

“Okay SecUnit,” Ratthi keeps his voice just as warm and gentle as he turns and asks SecUnit to remove its uniform. “Let’s get this off you and we’ll get you all cleaned up. It will feel nice, I promise.” He rambles as it struggles to remove its outfit, fingers clumsy as the skin suit sticks to one of its cuts and needs to be peeled away. It reopens some of the injuries and Ratthi watches it drip onto the floor with dismay, although not the same kind of dismay that he can see on the attendant’s judgemental face. Then he and Pin-Lee remove their own clothes, bundle all of their outfits into the basket for the attendants to whisk away.

The main pool of water-like-liquid is lightly steaming, an odd chemical smell that isn’t unpleasant but it is odd. He collects a range of wash cloths and soaps from the courtesy dispenser, determinedly ignores its attempts to up sell them.

Together the three of them wade into it until it comes up to Pin-Lee’s waist. It’s mid thigh on Ratthi and a bit lower for SecUnit. Ratthi chews at the inside of his cheek as he watches its slow and careful movements to do one sweep of the room before refocusing on them, tries to pick if it is slow from pain or fear or that unsettling blankness in its face as it watches. Waiting for its next order he expects. That hurts, that everything he says to it is an order. And because as long as it is like this, it is true.

“Well!” He forces cheerfulness back into his voice, tries to lighten the mood to beat back the feelings tearing him apart from the inside. “I don’t usually get this naked on the first date.”

Pin-Lee’s head snaps towards him in horror. “Ratthi! Now is not the time!”

Ratthi winces, false confidence instantly deflating. “You’re right, you’re right. I know. Sorry.” He sighs unhappily.

Pin-Lee turns to SecUnit, “Can you wash yourself?” They ask the question while Ratthi stands there feeling inadequate, holds out the soap and wash cloth. “Go on, take them.” Pin-Lee encourages.

SecUnit turns to stare at them more, a slight tilt to its head as it takes the items.

Ratthi rubs one of the soaps against his arm in a small circular motion, creates a small lather. “Like this?”

SecUnit’s head straightens and it immediately starts to mimic him. It mimics him exactly, rubs the soap in the same circular motion on the same arm to make the same amount of lather. Then it suddenly stops and he realises it probably copied it for the same length of time. Its incredibly unsettling to see how detail orientated it is.

“Right.” He shares an uncomfortable glance with Pin-Lee and feels his throat tighten at the look on their face. The tears he’s been holding back are burning his eyes and he takes a shaky breath. “Right.”

Pin-Lee shoots him a look of sympathy and encouragement.

“Right. We got this.” He steps closer to SecUnit. “Okay SecUnit, we’re going to wash you. That means we’re going to be touching you with these.” He holds up the soap and the wash cloth. “If anything hurts, can you tell us please? We’re going to be as gentle as possible, okay?”

SecUnit is silent and he shoves down how wrong this feels. Reminds himself that it’s like bathing his nephew, when his nephew was too young to understand what was going on or why he was staying at his second Uncle’s house for the night.

Being the taller of the two, Ratthi takes on the task of cleaning SecUnit’s upper half. Pin-Lee, with equal care, cleaned over its lower body. He feels a flicker of relief that he doesn’t need to clean down there, then feels worse for feeling relieved. He isn’t even sure why he is relieved.

“I’m going to wash you here, okay? On your arm.” He carefully presses the wash cloth to the lather it had made and starts to work the soap into its skin. It doesn’t flinch, or move, or breath. It is very, very still and he starts up a mindless stream of reassurance as he works. “That’s good SecUnit, you’re doing great.”

He works his way down its arm to its hand in gentle circles. “I’m going to hold your hand now, okay? Just getting the grime off, you know? Everyone deserves a spa day.” He knows he’s rambling but that one got a sound of some kind out of Pin-Lee that didn’t sound negative. He forces a weak chuckle as he finishes wiping around its nails and returns to the top of its arm, lathers up its shoulder. Doesn’t think about what caused such a deep bruise on it as he wipes away the dirt.

“Okay, I’m just going to bring this over your data port and move onto your other arm now.” Ratthi keeps the cloth touching SecUnit’s body as he carefully brings it across, hopes the constant slide of it removes any unpleasant surprises that could come with pulling away then placing it elsewhere.

He’s keenly aware that SecUnit is staring directly ahead over Pin-Lee as they work away at its waist.

“I’m going to hold your other hand now.” He warns as he lifts the limp limb, slides the soap and cloth around its gunport. Tries not to think about how SecUnit’s skin is slightly cooler than his own, even with the warm water. “There, all done with those arms. Pin-Lee’s moving onto your back now so how about we get that grime off your chest, okay? You’re doing great, best bathing partner I’ve ever had.” He tries for a shaky smile as he comes around to its front again, keeps his touch light as he rubs circles across its torso. It’s not looking at him at all, but he keeps it on just in case. He wishes it would look at him, or avoid looking at him. Make an expression of some kind.

Ratthi’s hands shake slightly as he rinses out the cloth.

“Okay Seccy, I’m going to clean your head now. Don’t want to get any soap in your eyes so I’m going to need you to close them, please.” It doesn’t respond to his order-disguised-as-a-request for a moment and he has to strangle back the sudden surge of hope. Then it slowly closes its eyes and his chest aches at the compliance.

He dabs at the gash on its head, rinses it out, lathers the cloth, then dabs at it again. Slowly he chases away the rest of the grime on its face. “You’re being very brave about this and doing great.” Ratthi’s not sure who those words are for. SecUnit tilts its head into his cloth.

They slowly clean away the last of the blood and fluids, leaving only the bruises and cuts behind. He can feel the dents where something must have struck it with force, the cloth catching on the cracks in its skin. He’s trying so hard not to think about what could have happened to cause these kinds of injuries, why their SecUnit is so silent and docile in their hands. This must all be very weird for it.

“What did they do to you?” His voice cracks and Pin-Lee gives a sniff from behind its leg, their head carefully averted away from his gaze. He didn’t mean to ask that and SecUnit doesn’t respond. He worries it doesn’t know how to talk anymore, that the wipe has taken even that away from it.

Ratthi misses it. He misses the snarky snap backs that had been slowly growing in number. He misses the way it started to initiate clumsy conversations and stumbled over what it would try to say. He misses the way he would start to anticipate it quoting a random Sanctuary Moon line at the oddest of times, like a private joke just between him, and Pin-Lee and SecUnit. He misses the person it was trying to become.

His eyes are burning and he rubs at them furiously. Ignores his reflection in the water.

“I can’t believe they made us take the SecUnit’s covering for washing. It’s insulting.” Ratthi’s shoulders hunch as he hears the judgemental whispers behind them. “Well I can’t believe they’re bringing it into a public bathing area. Just throw it in the remote washer.”

He sidesteps to get a different spot on SecUnit, that just happens to block the attendant’s view of SecUnit. Lathers more soap over a tender spot, if the way it slightly leant his way was an indication. “Sorry.” He apologises as he runs the cloth over the area again. “We’re so sorry about this.”

S E C U N I T

The liquid is warm where it covers my legs. It is an interesting texture, a bit like my own fluids but more of it and it is surrounding me. It is wet and it is warm.

I feel something about being warm.

I am being touched by two unknown humans. They are my clients, and they are angry and they are touching me, but it doesn’t hurt. They are moving cloths and scented squares over my body in slow, circular motions. I catalogue each of their motions and compare it to my limited memory archives. This one traces the cloth over my damaged areas and doesn’t contribute to additional damage. This one tells me before touching, I am not surprised and do not need to lock myself stationary as he moves his cloth over me.

They are speaking to me in low tones but they are not always orders. I am being told that I am behaving and being a good SecUnit. This is reassuring. I am being told that I am brave and doing a great job. This gives me an emotion.

I don’t have many memories of being around humans. There was the time of many humans, that hurt a lot when they touched me and hit me until I shut down. Before that was walking through humans and one of these humans was there but he wasn’t my owner then. Then there were the humans who woke me up, who dropped fluids on me and gave me orders I didn’t know how to follow. There were no humans before that.

The orders these two clients are giving me are simple and easy to obey. I follow them. I let them touch me. The governor module isn’t hurting me. I am not hurting anyone. (I think this feels very important to me).

They keep talking to me with their soft voices. Sometimes I will be asked a question I do not know the answer to and so I remain in standby.

There are many new smells to catalogue and add to my archives. There is the smell of the liquid I am in, the different smells of the blocks that are being rubbed on my synthetic skin. Even the humans have new smells, one smells of different types of food and fabric materials while the other smells of another human. The new smells are removing the smell of the melted SecUnit that was lingering in my nasal cavity. Now the only blood and metal I smell is my own, and it is quickly being washed away by the humans so that I only smell like the blocks. I am thinking this smells like how I am feeling but I am not sure what I am feeling. There is a lot of new sensory input happening and it is overwhelming.

I catalogue all the different ways they are touching me so gently. They touch me like this:

• The blocks circle my skin slowly until they foam. They do this with a delicate pressure I didn’t know humans were capable of.

• Hands holding cloths spread the foam in soft strokes across my skin. This is not painful either, and removes the fluids and debris on me.

• The foam is wiped away and the cloth is squeezed. Then it rubs against me again but it is not abrasive. The pressure is gentle and careful.

• When the touching reaches my gun port and data port, it becomes slower and they talk to me more.

• My damaged sites are pressed at with the cloth, instead of stroked, minimising additional damage or pain.

• No additional or new damage is sustained.

I save the catalogues to the long storage in my archives for later analysis.

I can see my clients making unusual expressions as they touch me. Their eyes are shiny and sometimes their faces twist. One of them is sniffing a lot, I tentatively tag them as potentially ill with a virus. The other one is rubbing at his eyes frequently and sighing, I am more confident in tagging this one as a potential allergy reaction to the blocks.

This client wants me to close my eyes and so I do. Then there is a cloth wiping over my face, dabbing at the damage on my head and cleaning away the rest of me. It is a light sensation, brushing over my skin and I tentatively tilt my head 0.97cm into it. The human doesn’t seem to mind and so my governor module doesn’t seem to mind.

I get some of the foam in my mouth and I briefly feel an opposite emotion.

Then I am allowed to open my eyes and I am ordered to follow them out of the liquid. My skin suit has been cleaned and is laid out for me, as is the human clothes. But they do not order me to put my skin suit on. Instead they wrap me in a large fluffy fabric, it is soft, and they begin drying me with the same care as when they washed me. I catalogue the sensations to compare to the washing, as despite being the same movements by the same humans it registers as a different sensation.

I am having a lot of feelings that I can’t identify about this interaction with my two clients. They are telling me that I am doing a good job standing here and being still for them. They tell me that I am a brave SecUnit. They are touching me and it doesn’t hurt.

I think this feels nice and that I am feeling very brave so I lean into the soft gentle touches by 1.25cm and close my eyes. I like them talking to me.