Chapter Text
Sometimes, Neil definitely feels like a fox. He’s wily and slippery, he has quite literally survived by outfoxing bigger, scarier opponents. But foxes are predators, with sharp teeth and claws. The average person would be nervous to approach one on the street; Neil doesn’t think he could ever really scare anyone. Though it is fairly on brand for him to be a predator who could only ever hunt small rodents.
Nonetheless, Neil is a fox. He’s been a fox for a long time.
Sometimes he still wants to be a human every one in a while. But his mother’s voice rings in his head. She’s been dead for almost a year, and he’s still living under her rules. Stay low, stay hidden, stay in animal form. Humans need money, need identification, need houses and beds and jobs. Animals are anonymous, they can be tracked in close range, but they can’t be traced across the country. So Neil stays like this: small, russet furred, skin and bones while living on wild berries and rats.
His mother was better at doing all of this, she had a hunter’s instinct. She never told Neil much of anything, so he doesn’t know what her past was like. Maybe she got more training in her animal form. He only ever got to learn the hard way, on the fly. And before that, he wasn’t allowed to be in this form very much. It’s almost laughable; in his childhood home, his father would fly into a rage if Neil reminded him of his pathetic animal form, and once they left, his mother would punish him harshly for trying to spend time as a human.
But she isn’t here anymore. Neil still can’t really think about it without thinking about what his father would think. She lived like an animal, and she died like one.
Neil shakes his head, letting it travel down his body. There’s no time for regret when one is fighting for survival. He needs to focus on the here and now.
He doesn’t exactly know where he is right now, but still. He’s along the east coast, he’s pretty sure of that, and from what he can tell he’s been steadily moving down south a bit at a time. It’s hunger that finds him creeping closer to the large cluster of buildings. He didn’t grow up as a fox, and he only has some animal instincts; he’s been surviving as an animal by taking his best guesses and learning from failure. But it’s not enough, not without his mother to help.
Rats in human inhabited areas are fatter, significantly so, but there’s always a chance they’ve already eaten something toxic. Food scraps carry a lot of the same risk. But Neil doesn’t have a choice any longer, he’s starving.
He creeps past the first couple of tall buildings and realizes he must be at a college. A smorgasbord of old and new buildings are spread out intermittently by large grass patches. From a shadowy spot nestled in the bushes, Neil watches.
Teenagers mill around the various pathways, but the crowds thin as the sun dips below the horizon. His best bet would be to find the dining hall, but the issue comes, as usual, from this animal body of his.
Neil can understand everything in his fox form, but a fox’s eyesight is adapted for night vision. Details in the light can be difficult to make out, so like this, Neil has difficulty reading. All the signs along the paths are above the average human’s height, and the font isn’t that big; he certainly can’t read it as a fox. What he needs instead is a guide.
That idea occurs to him because he lays his eye on a large stadium. A college with such a nice facility must have a decently dedicated sports team, which lets Neil make a couple of educated guesses. And, he’s right on the money.
It’s almost dusk, and a crowd of young adults comes bustling out from the building.
”God, I’m starving,” one of the men at the head of the group bemoans loudly. Jackpot, Neil thinks. There’s general cries of agreement and suffering from the whole group. It’s a wide assortment of people, men and women ranging from stupidly tall to some people who might be shorter than Neil in his human form. It’s actually— two identical people, Neil realizes. Identical twins, obviously. Neil freezes when one of them, trailing behind most of the group lazily, glances right at him. He’s crouched beneath thick leaves, out of sight, there’s no way someone saw him.
Neil sticks to the side of the building he’s near, entirely behind the row of plants lining the pavement. He clings to the shadows, giving the group a wide berth just in case. They finally come up on a decently sized building and Neil’s stomach drops. It’s small in comparison to some of the others. Not a dining hall, some sort of dorm. Wouldn’t athletes like this need to eat a million calories? Neil huffs to himself. Without warning, a small, frustrated yip slips out.
Neil grinds his teeth, somehow embarrassed as well. His mother would be better than this; she wouldn’t crack under pressure like this, and for that matter she wouldn’t have ended up under this pressure because she wouldn’t get to a place where she’s this hungry and exhausted.
“It’s a fox!” Neil jumps, launching himself backward. It’s the same man from the front of the group earlier, bending over the edge of the bushes and looking down on him. He sounds excited, but then he frowns, “Are foxes meant to be this skinny?”
Neil recovers from his momentary shock. He barks, baring his teeth, and shoots forward. He dives through the bush, swerving around the man’s huge legs, and the rest of the group exclaim as he comes into view. It should be fine, there’s nothing wrong with people catching a glimpse of an animal—
But someone steps into his path. It’s one of the small ones from earlier, then one who looked right at him. He’s got blond hair and a bored, disinterested expression, but Neil can tell that’s bullshit. That was his only clear line out of here. Neil rears around to beeline away from the oddly intimidating man only to scramble to a stop once more when he’s basically running straight for the building’s entrance.
Neil whirls around again, snarling at the group of students as he slowly backs away. “Hey,” the large man frowns, “We’re not gonna hurt ya’.”
”Oh, come on, I was excited when you said that, Matt,” another man grumbles. He’s got bleached, shaved hair and a grumpy expression. “That things’ not cool at all.” Neil resists the urge to try and bite him.
“You’re right, Matt,” the woman who was standing beside the first man earlier says, seemingly ignoring the sour comment. “It’s all skin and bones.” She’s tall and dark skinned; her hair is cut short and pushed back.
”That could be why it came to a place with a bunch of people,” another girl comments. She’s got a bit more of an interesting appearance. Her soft voice is a bit surprising when her blonde hair is mixed with a dozen different bright colors on the ends. She watches Neil with gentle concern, but it only makes his hackles rise.
The man— Matt— seemingly determined to make friends with Neil, bends down. It’s almost hilarious; the dude is easily over six feet tall, any normal animal wouldn’t care if he knelt down. “Hey there little guy, I—” Neil growls at him, barking in warning.
“Hold on, Matt,” The first girl warns.
”It’s a literal fox, Dan!” Matt argues back. Neil wonders what that means; yes, he’s a fox. What the hell does that matter? The other people in the group seem to have some understanding of the sentiment, though, regardless of whether or not they agree with it.
“So you’ve got some moral obligation to it?” The last girl in the group steps forward, wearing a high, severe ponytail. “While, have fun shepherding your spirit animal or whatever, I’m exhausted.” With at least the decency to give Neil a wide berth, she makes her way toward the entrance. She climbs the couple of steps to the entrence with a strange grace, looking a bit out of place from the other athletes because she’s dressed like a pop star or something. But that’s not important, what’s important is that she opens the door.
With a loud yip, Neil jolts for her. She shrieks, jumping forward to avoid him, but Neil takes the chance and bolts up the steps into the building.
“What the hell?” She yelps.
The door opens up into a common area, but Neil shoots down a hallway instead. His first priority is hide, wait until the coast is clear. There has to be plenty of scraps and food in a college dormitory.
For once, luck is on Neil’s side. The staircase in the building isn’t enclosed, so there’s no door blocking him from ascending to the higher floors. The athletes he followed from the stadium had rushed after him, but he’s already left them in the dust. He dashes up the stairs until he reaches the very top.
Obviously, there’s a door to get to the roof, but that doesn’t matter. Neil can crouch in the shadows on the landing and he’s sure no one will search for him here. He listens to the raucous as the people below him rush around and, eventually, give up. He pulls his legs in under him, settling down on the hard floor. It’s not so bad when he himself is fluffy, and he almost wants to sleep.
Neil waits for a while, he isn’t sure exactly how long. No noise gets too close to him, nothing aggravates his ears or nose. His sharp senses are one of his greatest assets in this form, he can see in the dark and has exceptional senses of hearing and smell. Sneaking up on him is virtually impossible, which is pretty reassuring for a life on the run.
It doesn’t make up for everything though, nothing does. This summer has been rough, and it’s barely begun. Neil isn’t getting better, he’s getting worse. Surviving like this one his own is proving damn near impossible. He mentally lashes out to scold himself so sharply he actually flinches. What would his mother think of him now? She lived and died to make sure he could go on, and now Neil is just dragging out his own slow death because he can’t keep himself alive.
The ground beneath him vibrates, just a little, and Neil starts. Someone is coming up the stairs, they’re already close. Neil presses himself into the shadowy corner, though he’s sure the person is just walking up to the top floor. Except— they’re not. They keep going, keep coming, right up to the roof. Neil holds his breath.
Of course, it’s him again. Five foot nothing, couldn’t care less blond-y with a cigarette already stuck between his lips. He steps past Neil easily; obviously, he reassures himself. Except, the blond stops at the door and looks over his shoulder.
His face doesn’t change as his eyes land on Neil, but Neil definitely registers to him. Neil waits for the man to react in some way, maybe not fear if his reaction earlier holds true, but perhaps calling the other for help getting rid of the vermin? “How did you figure this out?” Blond wonders evenly.
Fuck. Of all the things, that’s a bad reaction. Why would a fox climb the stairs, why would it hide up here? It wouldn’t, his hiding spot is too good for an animal. Neil peels back his lips, growling quietly.
Blond raises an eyebrow, “You really are a sack of bones, huh?” This time, Neil can’t stop himself from snapping. He shouldn’t respond, but he can’t help it. He’s skinny, so fucking what? Maybe if someone gave him some food. In fact…
Neil raises his snout, sniffing the air. He can smell something, something sweet and sugary. It’s almost intoxicating, less like sniffing something and more like snorting but damn, Neil is really hungry.
“For real?” Blond asks, judgmentally. Neil snaps again, so sick of this bastard’s damn attitude. But then, he turns. He just turns back to the door and pushes it open, walking out onto the roof. Neil nearly lunges for him right then and there. Who wouldn’t want to help some poor, hungry fox?! Neil yips as he follows at the man’s heels, padding a bit quicker to catch up with him. Blond stops on the very edge of the roof, sitting on the ledge and swinging his legs over the side. And then, he turns and just looks at Neil. Fucking waiting.
Fine, Neil snaps in his head, you pissy bastard. You wanna see the poor animal perform tricks? Asshole. He pads up to the edge and sits, leaving a few feet of space between them. There’s a chance this guy is a nutcase and wants to try and push a defenseless animal straight off the roof, like one of those kitten-kicking types. Neil looks right up at this guy and waits, expectantly.
He sniffs the air again, expectantly.
Slowly, maintaining eye contact, Blond reaches into his pocket and produces a bag of strawberries. Neil’s mouth waters with the sugary smell in the air, stretching forward just a bit. Blond reaches into the bag and pulls out a strawberry, reaching out to place it on the ledge between them. Just as cautiously, Neil creeps forward far enough to snap up the berry.
It tastes even better than it smells. Oh my god, Neil groans, this is amazing. He turns his eyes back to Blond, sniffing again. He pads his front paws for emphasis.
“Weird fucking fox,” Blond notes flatly. “Greedy too.” Neil snaps again. “Lucky for you, this is Kevin’s bitchass attempt to get me to eat ‘healthy sweets’. Like I’d eat berries instead of chocolate.” Blond empties the bag onto the roof, just back from the ledge. Without another word, he walks back the way he came, descending into the building below, his cigarette never lit and the door left open behind him.
Neil busies himself with inhaling the pile of strawberries, snapping them up with a gluttony that might be entirely foreign to him. He’s just been getting hungrier and hungrier. Foxes are opportunistic hunters, he should be able to eat all sorts of things in the wild. The problem lies with Neil, he’s just not as strong as his mom. He’s too human to fully commit to living in the wild, not wanting to fully abandon human society, only to make it more difficult for him to survive as an animal. He scarfs down his feast with such reckless abandon that the juice gets smeared over his snout.
He creeps back to the door and curls up in the little crevice he had settled in before. He doesn’t love the idea of sleeping in the open, but most people don’t seem to come up here, and as long as Neil is an innocent fox, there’s no reason for Blond to attack in the night. His belly is full for the first time in weeks, and a small, useless part of Neil wants to cry. He buries his snout in his paws instead and curls his tail over his face, allowing himself to drift to sleep.