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Jude POV
Jude sat by the fire in the chambers she shared with her husband and relished in the quiet. Such peace had been hard to come by of late, with her hours spent working to rebuild the court after Madoc and Balekin's betrayal, not to mention the fallout from, the Court of Teeth. Attending meetings, holding court, keeping up with her training and maintaining peace negotiations with Lord Roibin and the others, she barely had a moment to think.
What little free time she'd found had been taken up by visiting Taryn and Leander. Jude had loved her nephew the moment she saw his little chubby cheeks, so sweet and soft, he had reminded her of Oak when he was an infant.
Smiling softly to herself, she thought of her husband. Working with Cardan these past months had been challenging in a way that set her bones on fire. They presented a united front against the council, yet he did not back down from disagreeing with her when he saw fit, lending his years of courtly experience to balance out her brash and sometimes aggressive approach.
She would not admit it aloud, although she suspected Cardan knew anyway, but retiring to their chambers together each morning, just before the sun began to rise and the skies were only beginning to bleed from black to mauve, was the highlight of her days.
There were times when the fire of their passion consumed them, when their joining was a continuation of any disagreement from the day, all teeth and roughness, battling for dominance as he reminded her that she was still his sweet nemesis.
Other nights they whispered to each other in the darkness, sharing their secrets, removing their armour one peace at a time. Those nights he would stroke the curve of her ear, kisses and touches sweet and gentle as they moved together before falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
Jude often could not believe the smile the that tugged her lips and the warmth that filled her heart when thinking of Cardan. Even more unbelievable was the way he looked at her, like he returned every thought and feeling she had for him.
A sharp rap at the door pulled her from her reverie. She called out for the visitor to enter, and an anxious looking Fand burst into the room.
“Your majesty, forgive me, but there was a disagreement among the Living Council and the King and no we cannot find him.”
Jude frowned, too many questions running through her mind. Hopping up to locate her boots and a long robe, to cover her usual evening attire of one of Cardan’s long and least silly shirts, she ordered her thoughts before turning to her knight.
“What do you mean disagreement? There was no Living Council meeting scheduled for this past evening. How long has Cardan been missing?”
Fand gulped, guilt and concern flashing across a face only a year or two older than Jude’s.
“I’m sorry, my Queen, I have only just learned of the matter myself from Cardan’s personal guard. From what I understand there was an ambush of sorts, with the members of the council wanting to speak with the King without…well, uhm, you.” She glanced down in awkwardness as Jude’s frown turned into something harder, before continuing, “I believe this happened around one hour ago.”
Jude clenched her fist. Of course the Living Council were still sneaking behind her back, her human back. No matter the work she had put in, the magics she had performed when she successfully channelled the land or that the people had chosen her, there were always politics afoot.
“Do you know which members?” Jude asked, composing her face into a well-trained mask.
“Baphen’s name was mentioned, as was a non-council member. I was informed that Lady Asha was also present”.
Fand’s gaze advised Jude that her knight was aware of the tumultuous relationship between the King and his mother, her expression saying everything her courtly training would not permit her to say about the woman, even though Jude herself would agree wholeheartedly and then some.
If Lady Asha had been involved in the conversation, no doubt using Baphen as an unwitting shield, then it was likely that Cardan’s reaction had little to do with courtly politics or Elfhame as a whole. Sighing, Jude swept from the room and gestured Fand to follow.
‘Stand down the search and inform the Court of Shadows there is no concern. I believe I know where my husband is.’
Cardan POV
The High King of Elfhame, while pleased with his peaceful hiding place, was deeply regretful that he had not thought to bring any wine with him. He sighed and stretched his long legs, lying back to stare at the underside of the table he’d sought refuge beneath.
There had been no public court this evening, so the usually packed brugh was quiet aside from the odd scurrying of a servant or other such creature cutting through to where they needed to be.
Folding his arms beneath his head, Cardan thought of the last time he’d been under this particular table. His family had been slaughtered and Balekin was calling his name, but all Cardan’s wine-soaked mind could think was that Jude used to hide under tables at raucous parties, so maybe he should too.
Or maybe he had just been searching for Jude, he didn’t think he’d ever be sure.
His lips turned up as he thought of his wife. While difficult, the last few months of his life had indeed been his happiest, as could be witnessed in how the land he was tied to had begun to thrive. Not only would it all have not been possible without Jude, but he also wouldn’t have wanted it.
Jude’s strength and tenacity never failed to alight something in him, not only in her role as High Queen but in the way she loved and handled her family, even the more difficult members. More than that, Cardan was honoured that she had chosen him, that she saw the good in him and that she allowed herself to be soft with him in their quiet moments together.
Jude Duarte was the lifeblood of the High King of Elfhame, which made his earlier conversation with his mother and Baphen sting that much more.
“A mortal queen could be considered an affront to many in the court, to have to bow to a creature of mud. She should return to being seneschal, she performed well in this role, supporting the kingdom but knew her place.” Baphen had said.
This was the enraging part of the conversation.
“Her place” Cardan had responded, his voice deathly quiet as he clamped a warning hand on Baphen’s shoulder. “Is by my side, on the throne of Elfhame. To question otherwise is treason. You aren’t committing treason are you, Baphen? As the punishment would be swift yet enjoyable to dole out.’
Baphen immediately backed down, the coward that he was. Cardan was resolute in his mission to stamp out this attitude towards Jude, with Roach and the Bomb backing him up at every step. While infuriating, it was not this part of the conversation that had sent him to the quiet of his hiding place.
It was his mother.
“Now Cardan” she tutted. “Let’s not lose our tempers, you know I would only ever want the best for you. Did I not ensure you were raised in the manner in which you deserved.”
This was not a question, but a double-edged sword. Yes, at times Lady Asha had doted on him, provided him with the finest clothes and food, but this only lasted for a short period at a time. More often than not Cardan was left to run wild, searching for his own sustenance and doing anything he could for attention, even if that attention was a result of his own bad behaviour.
His mother may be reminding him of the good she had done for him, but she was also reminding him how little goodness and care he deserved. When he did not respond, she continued.
“You are more suited to drinking and silliness than ruling a kingdom, everyone knows it. You never wanted to be king, you would have been happier as a serpent, my son. Capricious or cruel, that is your legacy. Keep your pet human, listen to the council’s advisement in matters or politics and spend your days in enjoyment.”
Despite his swiftness in dealing with Baphen and her honeyed tones, his mother’s words cut more deeply, as a mother’s sharpness tends to do.
“Mother, Jude and I…” Cardan began, before Lady Asha cut him off.
Venom overtaking saccharine, she hissed, “cease your foolishness Cardan, I taught you better than empty headed notions of romance and love. The only thing that matters is power. Something your Jude” her tone turned mocking at those two words “seems to have grasped more quickly than you.
Do you think she truly loves you? I know you in your marrow Cardan Greenbriar, I carried you and you are of my womb. You are a feckless child playing at king. Jude has no love for you other than the power and protection you grant her. You have always been so desperate for affection, grasping at my skirts and pleading for my attention, you have simply latched yourself to someone who can tolerate your company and has the ability to lie to your face about their feelings for you.”
A moment of silence pulsed after his mother’s outburst. The airtight and tense, Baphen’s shocked face and retreating steps the only thing punctuating the vicious bubble.
Cardan took that moment to compose himself. To twist his mouth into a cruel sneer and sharpen the steel in his eyes, to shut out the leaden feeling in his stomach and the old shame that crept through his veins.
‘I would remind you mother that the only reason dear Jude has not banished or beheaded you is that she fears that it would distress me. I would advise caution not to cause me to rethink my feelings in this regard. I know of your scheming, I know you burned the letters I wrote, and I know you will do anything to manipulate a person or situation to your benefit.
Jude is my Queen, and I am the chosen King. We are bound to the land and the people; we have defeated betrayers and are doing nothing but work to keep our people safe and ensure that Elfhame thrives. If you do not wish to be a loyal subject, or if you elect to continue in your treasonous attitude, I may choose to remember just how caring and affectionate an upbringing you provided and then return your love in kind.”
Lady Asha’s eyes widened as she took a step back, following Baphen. Cardan did not wait for any response, whether it be retaliation or simpering, he silently turned on his heel and strode away.
Cardan found comfort in his hiding spot. He’d been good at hiding as a child, or so he believed in his naïve youthfulness. He’d been older and under Balekin’s cruel thumb before he realised that the reason he hid so well, was because no one was looking for him.
His stomach churned as he turned his mother’s words over in his mind. Angry that he could still be affected by her so, and that there was a small voice in his head telling him that she might be right.
That he was not worthy.
That he would destroy the kingdom.
That Jude did not love him.
That he could not be loved.
He did not know how much time passed under the table. It was dim, what little light seeping in through the heavy cloths that draped the long banquet tables. He knew that at least this time some people were looking for him, as he heard the stomping of the guard at regular intervals as they searched, not for Cardan, but for their High King.
He supposed Roach or the Bomb would end up finding him first, or maybe they already knew where he was and just wished to grant him peace.
Cardan realised he had not heard any footsteps for several minutes, none that stomped anyway, he realised, as he strained his ears and recognised soft footfalls that crept in his direction. He smiled at the creeping footsteps; he was still better at sneaking than his wife and he knew that was an endless source of annoyance for her. He just relished in the opportunity to impress her whenever it struck.
The tablecloth lifted and Jude’s face peered down at him, her expression a soft smile and concern in her eyes.
“I believe our roles were reversed, the last time we were here” she said, recalling the night Balekin attempted his coup and Cardan found Jude under the table.
“I recall that you winded me and pulled me into the dirt” Cardan responded, a nervous smirk at his lips.
Jude frowned at the smirk, concerned with what had caused such unease and sadness in her husband. She ducked under the table, letting the heavy fabric swing down behind her, as she lay beside Cardan, mirroring his position to face the underside of the table, their sides just grazing each other.
“If you are brave enough to swing a punch at me, my love, then you are most welcome.”
At that Cardan blew out a laugh, ever amused by Jude’s dry tone.
They fell silent, content in the comfortable silence of one another. After a few moments, Jude lifted her hand to gently stroke Cardan’s own, before twining her fingers with his.
“I heard there was a surprise meeting. Would you like me to stab someone?”
Cardan smiled to himself, he knew what she was doing, coaxing the information from him while offering amusement and comfort. Not that he wasn’t well aware that she was capable of carrying out such a threat if required.
“Not the full council, just Baphen and my mother” he responded. “It was just their usual nonsense, nothing for you to concern yourself with, my murderous love, I reminded them of the consequences for treason and sent them scurrying. They should behave for a while.”
Jude hummed thoughtfully before turning on her side and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
“I shall scowl with more force at any upcoming meetings, remind them of my ire.” She paused, before continuing, “are you sure that’s all? It’s unlike you to seek sanctuary after such idiocy.”
Cardan was unable to take his eyes from the underside of the table. Unable to look in Jude’s eyes and see the way she looked at him when his skin crawled with doubt and shame. Instead he took a breath, focussing on the gentle pressure of her hand in his, her thumb in soothing little circles, along with the ghost of her lips on his cheek.
“My mother was also forward in her feedback for the crown.”
Jude’s hand tightened and her jaw clenched. She loathed Lady Asha, not only for the meddling and harm caused to Jude directly, but also for the melancholy she could elicit from Cardan.
“Your mother may be able to speak the words she does, as she believes them to be wholly true and not a lie, but I can assure you that whatever she said is wrong. She is an empty pit, whatever peace or comfort you grant her; she will always seek more power. Despite her, you have grown into a man who is brave and clever and when he chooses to be, unfailingly sweet and kind.”
Cardan absorbed her words, wanting them to be the truth, wanting to be worthy of Jude and the throne.
“You are forgetting, my sweet nemesis, that my wickedness was prophesised. My ability to destroy, my evil ways with me from birth.”
“You can be wicked” Jude responded coyly, this time leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I would describe your wickedness as delicious though, not evil.”
A further kiss to the centre of his mouth.
“You’re cunning and ability to do what needs to be done when required do not take away from the goodness in you. Few people are all light or all dark. Although…I have often found your beauty to be incredibly cruel. You could definitely stand to be less beautiful.”
Cardan grinned and rolled to his side, face to face with Jude. Her words crept in, lightening the weight on his chest. He returned the soft kiss to her lips before tracing his finger along her cheekbone and along the curve of her ear. Even after all these months she still shuddered, her eyes flashing with desire and affection.
His mother was right about one thing, Jude has the ability to lie. That is a fact.
What is also a fact, however, is that Cardan can always ready every thought in Jude’s eyes as she can with him. This was the privilege of removing the armour that kept one another out and replacing it with one that shielded them together against the world.
Jude was not lying about her love for him.
She also would not hesitate to tell him if she felt he was wrong, if she felt he was acting rashly or in a way that harmed Elfhame. As he would not hesitate in return.
Warmth blossomed in his chest and wildflowers sprung from the ground beneath them. Jude laughed, loud and freely. It took his breath away for a moment before he joined her in laughter. He pulled her close and kissed her eyelids, then her nose and cheekbones before ending on her perfect lips.
After some time, she broke their kiss, breathing slightly heavier than normal and pressed her forehead to his. It felt right, between them, in their own private world of one another.
“I suppose I should apologise” Cardan murmured “to have had everyone charging around for hours looking for the flighty High King. At least the last time I ran away it was as an unmissable giant serpent.”
Jude snorted. “Oh, they were all charging around like headless chickens, too scared to tell me. I came straight here after Fand found out and informed me. Not to sure about this High King you speak of, but I know you Cardan. You can’t hide from me.”
Cardan was unable to name the emotion that gripped him. Jude had not only hesitated to look for him, but she had known exactly where he would be. She knew him, she cared for HIM, crown be damned.
He held her tighter but was unable to put his feelings into words, instead he responded, “why is it always unclear whether that is a threat or a promise from you?”
Smiling softly and with a mischievous glint in her eyes, Jude placed a featherlight kiss to Cardan’s lips, their breath mingling as she whispered “both, Cardan, with us it is always both.”