Work Text:
1:
The first time it happens, they've only been official friends for a handful of months.
Sure- some could argue they were official friends from the moment Lu Guang helped Cheng Xiaoshi paint an entire building without any pay... or compensation.. or really anything more than a soda. Or they could've been official friends since that moment on the basketball court. But Cheng Xiaoshi would argue right back that it didn't count.
He's heard the things Qiao Ling says about him, he hears all the things people say about him, actually, because most of the time he's in the room when the people are saying them.
And maybe she's right when she says he gives his trust and time away too easily, to people who won't give it back, and maybe her folks and their friends were right when they called him an ungrateful kid all those years ago.
But he knows. He knows how a friendship works, and he knows he has it with Lu Guang when the sight of pale white hair soothes this itch under his skin. And he knows when someone is holding him at arms length.
Cheng Xiaoshi glances at his dozing friend, who's curled up on the couch with his nose tucked into the dusty cushions, and huffs a quiet, tight sigh.
He doesn't know what he did, aside from accidentally nailing him with a basketball, to make the other boy distrust him so much. There was an undeniable distance between them, one that felt like it shouldn't exist at all.
Maybe it was just because their friendship was still tentatively new, practically a baby compared to his relationship with the landlady. Maybe Cheng Xiaoshi was asking for too much too soon but...
When the light brushes it's warm fingers over Lu Guang's fair features.. when the pale haired boy thinks no one is watching... he looks far older than his years. Tired in a way that goes beyond insomnia, tired in a way that Cheng Xiaoshi knows with his full chest.
Lu Guang, in those quiet glimpses of time, looked like he was mourning.
Cheng Xiaoshi reaches out, leans over the back of the couch and reaches his hand down to brush pale white hair off a clammy forehead.
"I know I said I'd wait... but I wish you'd trust me more," he breathes into the air between them, quiet like a secret as he gently traces his finger down the crease that seemed like a permanent fixture between grey brows.
More than anything, Cheng Xiaoshi wished that whatever was haunting Lu Guang would at least grant him peace when he slept- grant him a single moment of reprieve.
He's about to pull away when his friend makes a small, sleepy sound.
Lean, slender fingers come up to weakly grasp Cheng Xiaoshi's wrist. It's a meager grip, one that the dark haired boy could easily pull away from, but the mournful sound Lu Guang makes when he tries actually makes something hurt in his chest.
He lets Lu Guang tip his head into his palm, internally freaking out as the pale haired boy tucks his entire body around Cheng Xiaoshi's arm. The crease between his brows smoothes out, his breaths get deeper, and he actually looks his age for the first time since the dark haired boy hair met him.
"Phone- phone, phone, phone," Cheng Xiaoshi whisper screams, digging in to his pockets with a near manic intensity as he tries to keep his other arm still, "Oh my god-"
How is this the same boy that held Cheng Xiaoshi like he was a live bomb? Held him like a live bomb in the hands of someone willing to die, sure, but like he was expecting the dark haired boy to stab him in the chest and leave his body cooling by itself.
....maybe Cheng Xiaoshi wasn't as distrusted as he thought.
To the surprise of no one, Lu Guang is just as pretty on camera as he is in real life.
CXS: OH LANDLADY~
CXS: *one picture*
QL: !!
QL: lol he's like a cat!
QL: 💗😺💗
Cheng Xiaoshi's arm goes numb, but it's completely worth it for his new wallpaper. Call it payback for that photo of him in a cosplay skirt.
2:
The second time it happens, Qiao Ling only gains ammo for her cat allegations.
Lu... had not been in a particularly touchy mood that day. He kept looking at his hands when he thought Cheng Xiaoshi's attention was elsewhere, and when the dark haired boy tried to grab one to lead him out of his head he...
flinched.
Not his usual startle, that got less frequent as he acclimated to living with Cheng Xiaoshi's loud mouth, but a full body flinch. He had pulled away and left the room.
Lu Guang almost never left the room, even if he got fed up dodging the dark haired boy's attempts at glomping onto him. He would usually just- stand there.. or their attention would get called to something else- he never outright fled.
Unless...
"GUANGGUANG HATES MEEEHEEHE," he wails into Qiao Ling's lap.
"E-eh? Xiaoshi!?"
To his sister's credit, she doesn't whack him off right away. She's more than a little confused, maybe a little worried about his sanity, but her hand gently pats at his head- wary of the bandage still present.
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you.." Qiao Ling tries, looking around for any sign of said issue, "Lu Guang could never hate you-"
"Then he's definitely mad at me! He hasn't let me get close all day and- aCk!"
They really needed to dust their floors...
Cheng Xiaoshi sneezes as his nose makes friends with the hardwood.
"What was that fo-"
"Of course he's mad at you, you idiot!"
"H-HUH!?"
As if no longer caring for his brutal head injury, his sister flicks him right in the middle of his forehead. While he goes back to wailing in pain- physical this time, as he rolls on the floor- Qiao Ling tears him a new one:
"I told you to stay in the studio! You-"
The thump of unsteady feet cuts into her sentence, and suddenly Lu Guang is peeking his head around the corner- familiar wax paper bags held in his hand.
"Cheng Xiaoshi?"
The dark haired boy stops wailing, but he doesn't let go of his head as he turns in a weird sguiggle to see his friend. He barely blinks before slender fingers- and bruised knuckles, how did he miss that?- are prodding carefully around the lump still vaguely present above his ponytail.
"What's wrong? You were..." Lu trails off, pulls his shaking hands away and clears his throat, "..sorry. I- I thought.."
Cheng Xiaoshi catches the wrist attached to those bruised knuckles and doesn't let go when his fair friend tries to pull away and hide it again.
It's not fair, he thinks, that Lu Guang is allowed to care for him but he can't offer the same courtesy. Not fair at all.
The siblings haul the pale haired boy up to his feet and sit him on the couch, staunchly ignoring his sputtered protests as they set about their separate tasks. Qiao Ling distributes the milk tea [except he can't ever recall telling Lu Guang his order], and hands Cheng Xiaoshi the first-aid kit, and the dark haired boy makes sure Lu Guang doesn't run away again while he treats his hand.
If that involves hooking his ankle over Lu Guang's knee, then- he didn't get his usual amount of physical contact today, so Lu could deal.
"Haven't you ever thrown a punch before!? How did you bruise yourself this badly?" he scolds, taking immense pleasure in the cowed look his friend sports, "Guangguang-"
"You were in the hospital-"
"That's no excuse-!"
Whatever Lu Guang was going to say gets cut off when Qiao Ling shoves the straw of his milk tea into his mouth- partly to distract him from the sting of antiseptic, partly to stop whatever self sacrificial bull that was inevitably going to fall out.
Because it wasn't enough for Lu to be pretty, no no noooo, he had to be nice too. And get Cheng Xiaoshi things like milk tea, and like anime, and cats.
Cheng Xiaoshi channels all his focus onto gently applying the blue and white cat plaster, because he could buy nice things for Lu Guang too, over the worst of the bruising. Honestly, it's not going to do much for a bruise but hopefully it'll make his friend a bit happier.
Something, something, placebo effect- Qiao Ling was talking about it once.
Cheng Xiaoshi can still tell Lu wants to bolt.
So he sidles up next to him, practically traps him against the arm really, and heckles his sister into a round of online PVP. He even lets Lu Guang pick his character, though he's used to a completely different playstyle and loses each round. Which is the excuse he uses when Qiao Ling beats his ass ten ways from Sunday. Again.
In the warmth of the sun behind him, with Cheng Xiaoshi's thigh pressed to his, the pale haired boy succumbs to an inevitable cat nap- open novel falling loosely from his slender fingers.
Cheng Xiaoshi catches it, barely, before it can thump against the ground- struggling between keeping up with the fight and not losing his friend's place- and...
Ah.
The semi-loud [he turned his volume down when he noticed Lu dozing off] theme of defeat plays from his phone, accompanied by large red letters spelling out K.O. He almost doesn't care though, when it was caused by soft white hair brushing his cheek and an even softer cheek on his shoulder.
Lu Guang's hand, that had previously been holding his oh-so-precious novel, had curled around Xiaoshi's lower arm while his other gripped onto the sleeve of his upper arm. Just like last time, it was feeble, but oh.
This was not good for his heart.
Distantly, he registers himself making a squeaky- prolonged sort of inhale, and his arm trembles with the effort of keeping completely still and it takes Qiao Ling forcefully shutting his jaw with her hand for him to chill.
"Oh my god-" Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, dropping his phone onto the couch cushions [he's careful not to drop the novel though], "It happened again!"
"It's happening again," she corrects, scrambling for her own phone, "Guangguang..."
If there was one thing the siblings could agree on, it was that Lu Guang was adorable and ethereal and it really wasn't fair how he could be both without even trying.
"...you'll send me those photos right?"
"Duh."
3:
The third time it happens is completely on purpose.
Well- not on Lu Guang's end. But, regardless! An experiment demands results and Lu introduced too interesting of a hypothesis. Who knew his best friend was such a secret cuddlebug?
Well- he was a secret [was it a secret or did Xiaoshi just never ask...?] coser too, so maybe it was par for the course. Lu Guang and secrets.
Anyway-
Cheng Xiaoshi is standing dutifully just outside the living room, occasionally casting glances at Lu's dozing form. It was just around midday, which meant the sun was hitting the cushions in just the right way to keep the pale haired boy content and lazy. In Cheng Xiaoshi's blue and white sweater.
Yeah, he wasn't that oblivious. He knew he wasn't getting that shirt back any time soon. Or ever. Damn.
Qiao Ling sidles up next to him, her phone poised to begin the final phase of their cuddlebug theory.
See, they tested if Lu Guang would do it awake [he wouldn't. His self control was too strong] and they tested if he would reject physical affection when he was awake [he would, but only if Cheng Xiaoshi was being annoying] and now. Now it was time.
To be fair- Cheng Xiaoshi kind of owed Lu Guang for the last test too. Which had inadvertently led to his friend being in a... rather uncomfortable situation. It wasn't on purpose, obviously, normally the siblings were very good at keeping Lu away from touchy strangers.
Sometimes one would just- slip through the cracks.
Regardless, Lu Guang had earned his current doze and even more so had earned another cat gift. Not that he had to earn those, Xiaoshi was more than happy to keep buying them.
Speaking of- his sister sidles up next to him, phone at the ready.
"You got the goods?" she asks.
Cheng Xiaoshi pulls out the longish, white cat plush he had seen in the window on his way home- embellished with blue eyes and forget me nots on the flank- and nods.
The final cuddlebug test... was it just human contact Lu Guang sought out when asleep? Or... would he cuddle anything? These were pressing concerns!
Also Lu Guang could never find out about his album of sleepy pictures. Ever. Or he'd undoubtedly make the siblings delete them. Xiaoshi wasn't doing anything with the pictures, nothing nefarious at least, but for some reason the pale haired boy always seemed uncomfortable having his picture online.
It was hard to notice, if you didn't know him, but Cheng Xiaoshi liked to think he was an expert in Lu language by now. And he noticed things. Like how Guangguang would only let his picture be taken by Qiao Ling or yours truly.
So maybe he wouldn't make Cheng Xiaoshi delete the album. But hey, Xiaoshi should be allowed to keep embarrassing photos too! Equivalent exchange or whatever it was that blond pipsqueak said! He didn't really get a good look at what Lu was reading.
He creeps forward, trying to keep his footsteps light. His socked feet helped, as well as the years he spent playing basketball, but sometimes-
creeeak .
The floorboards would do that.
Lu Guang snuffles slightly, but Qiao Ling opens the curtains a bit wider and he settles down.
God, he was best friends with a cat.
Alright.
Finally, Cheng Xiaoshi finds himself in a position very similar to the one he was in when this all started. Behind the couch, and reaching down. There's just big enough of a gap between Lu and the cushion that Xiaoshi can set the kitty plush down without disturbing him too much.
The results are immediate.
The second the soft fur of the plush brushes his cheek, [which was arguably softer, Xiaoshi would say] Lu Guang was curling into it. It was too goddamn cute, god, why did he think this was a good idea. He was going to have a heart attack before he even hit 30.
The pale haired boy brought his arm around the cat plush, burying his nose somewhere between the ears, and brings his knees up. His breaths even out from a light doze to something truly peaceful.
This might've worked better than Cheng Xiaoshi's arm.. huh.
That kinda made his chest hurt a little, in a distinctly more painful way than an abundance of affection.
Xiaoshi goes to pull his hand away, which had still carefully been resting on the scruff of the cat, to let his sister get some unobstructed pictures [and snag a few of his own] when Lu makes another sound. A sad little sound.
A sound that makes Cheng Xiaoshi freeze.
Because slender fingers are holding onto his jacket sleeve again.
It's a grip closer to his hand than his wrist this time, not really much of a grip at all, but it still stops Cheng Xiaoshi cold.
Qiao Ling is having the time of her life taking pictures.
So... experiment inconclusive?
+ 1:
There's something tacky under his nails.
It's caked over Cheng Xiaoshi's fingers and palms too, so deeply engrained in every groove and arch and whorl that it cracks when he curls his fists.
He can't get it off.
Water runs and runs and runs and runs until the basin is pink and overflowing and drenching his socks in the blood of someone he doesn't know.
Or- does he know them? Who is he? Who's hands is he washing?
The scene around him changes, breaks away like static as he finds himself back in the living room. Their couch- who's couch?- is splattered with bright red paint. Thread hangs from the ceiling, looped in nooses and strung across cork boards and holding photos. A blood moon paints everything like a darkroom, but the light doesn't feel safe at all.
Then the bodies appear.
Lu Guang on the couch, Liu Min strung from the ceiling, Emma on the floor by the blond's feet, Li Tianxi by the windows, and so many more. Faceless people and limbs sticking out from under the floorboards and furniture and there's so much blood.
It's no longer just caked to hands, it's on his face. It's in his mouth, on his clothes-
The photos develop with startling intensity, full of people he never knew personally but that he's been. It's all too much, too soon, too many pieces of information that click into a truly ugly overexposed piece, too many lives-
His foot hits something fleshy, something that warms his sock with thick, cloying intensity.
When he looks down, he sees his own face.
Cheng Xiaoshi wakes up with a scream on the tip of his tongue.
His blanket twists around his limbs, creating a damning sort of cocoon that makes him want to just to throw himself off the side of the bed and get to Lu Guang or a mirror and check if they're both still alive-
Unfortunately, he neglects to remember where he was sleeping. Thin arms wrap around Cheng Xiaoshi's middle before he can splat into the hardwood.
"This-" Lu Guang huffs behind him, fruitlessly trying to drag his friend back onto the mattress, "is why you sleep on the bottom bunk."
Right..
Cheng Xiaoshi scoots backwards until he doesn't feel his stomach swooping- his mind still reeling and his hands still tacky. He.. vaguely remembers now. Why he was in Lu Guang's bed.
Lu Guang-!
The startled yip his pale haired friend let out would be cute in another circumstance, but right now Xiaoshi only cares about finding a pulse. That dream had felt too real, too vivid, and- and Cheng Xiaoshi needs proof, okay? He just needs..
There's nothing but smooth skin when he jerks Lu's sleep shirt up.
"What are you-!?"
"It's gone..." he mutters, trailing his thumb over the spot where there should be a thin scar, but Cheng Xiaoshi finds nothing but tensed muscle. Or- muscle adjacent. "Why is it gone..?"
Lu Guang looks terrified when Xiaoshi meets his eyes, with an odd amber glow passing over his soft face.
It's only then that he realizes he's practically groping his best friend.
"ack- Sorry! Sorry," he sputters, pulling away just as abruptly as when he jumped him, "I was just- I was so sure..."
"It was just a dream, Cheng Xiaoshi."
Slender fingers grab onto both sides of his face, forcing him to meet weirdly determined kitten grey eyes. Lu Guang holds his gaze until he nods. And then he nods more emphatically.
Yeah- yeah. Seriously- why would Lu Guang have a knife scar? And he's never even met someone named Emma or Li Tianxi- he thinks he might've heard about Liu Min on the news before, briefly, maybe. But..
But it felt so real. And personal. Like- like maybe he had lived it before, lived as those people and watched- watched them die.. had seen himself die-
"-Xiaoshi." Lu Guang shakes him out of it and presses his forehead to his, miming deep breaths, "It was just a dream. Everyone is okay."
Just a dream.. just a dream. Right. His pale haired friend takes one hand off his face to press one of Cheng Xiaoshi's to his chest- over his clothes this time.
God, he can't believe he just manhandled- he'll worry about it in the morning. When he's not desperately focused on the slightly too fast thump-thump-thump under his fingers. Then he'll think about Lu Guang's very soft, very unscarred skin.
"Go to sleep, Cheng Xiaoshi."
....he reeeally hopes he didn't say any of that out loud.
If he did, it doesn't look like Lu Guang cared all too much. At least, it didn't look like he cared enough to pull away as he maneuvered the two into laying down again. And buried his nose into loose black hair.
Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, astounded by his luck. This- Lu Guang never cuddled him! Not consciously! He- oh, he couldn't wait to-
"No one will believe you," his friend murmurs, sleepy and warm and devious, "Sleep, Xiaoshi. Or I'll make you go back to your own bed."
For a second, Cheng Xiaoshi believes his fair friend. But he feels the slight trembles of slender fingers on his shoulders- the jackrabbit heartbeat under his ear and the shallow breaths on his hair, and he thinks Lu needs this just as much as he does. Xiaoshi smiles.
"Liar."