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She could see the nervousness on all her squadmates' faces, questions bouncing in their heads. No matter how you added it up the timing didn't make sense. Say they were walking at a snail's pace, which Ymir seriously doubted by the way Reiner had been on their asses, barking what he called “encouragement.” Even then, by the instructors estimates they should've arrived an hour ago.
“This doesn't look right…” Marco scanned the wrinkled map between his gloved hands, bringing it close to his face and stretching it tightly to fight the wind which threatened to steal it away. “Look, the–”
“Marco,” Reiner interrupted, shoving his hand between him and the map. “Stop worrying. I already told you, the campsite should be right up here.” He smiled briskly at Marco, squinting against the pelting snow so you couldn't see his eyes at all. Up “here” was right over this last hill they were headed to. It peaked just out of the tree line. The campsite they were told about also supposedly was a cleared area in the forest, but in all honesty Ymir could barely see shit in the dark, compiled with the heavy snow.
Seeing Marco and Reiner arguing in front of them would've been mildly entertaining if it weren't for the fact Ymir’s limbs felt like they were going to fall off. For the first time ever, even Connie seemed to shut up as he merely followed silently behind, shivering occasionally. Something in her gut told her that Reiner was absolutely wrong and that there would be nothing past this hill, but she pushed it aside. She couldn't help it, the idea of being greeted by a warm, dry cabin was way too appealing.
The four trudged slowly up the final hill, their eyes darting anxiously over the white, snowy crescent. When Reiner’s head popped over the top, he stopped. Ymir’s heart sank then. That image of a warm cabin was growing farther and farther away.
Connie, sensing something was off, ran ahead of them, climbing with all four limbs to the top of the hill. The other three trailed closely behind, watching as Connie stopped at the summit. “Are you kidding me,” Connie choked out, his pack falling into the snow with a crunch. Past the edge of the hill was a vast cliff that dropped off into a seemingly endless black abyss.
“Reiner…” Connie growled, slowly turning around to face him. Reiner's eyes grew wide and he quickly snatched the map from Marco, bringing it close to his face to examine or shield himself one couldn't tell.
Connie's eyes burned. “You fucking—you have no idea where we are!”
“Don't panic. We can figure this ou—Hey!” Connie grabbed at the map in Reiner's fists, tackling him in the process. “Hold on—” Reiner shouted.
How could she have been such an idiot? She should've left the second they started getting lost.
“Let go! You're going to rip it,” Reiner barked angrily. Though he was much bigger than Connie, he struggled against his persistence, “Stop!” Between Reiner's protests, there's a terrible ripping sound. The two of them stilled, the shredded map clutched tightly in both of Connie's fists. Marco sighed loudly, covering his face.
That was it. She'd rather get lost in the forest than stand another second with these idiots. Without another thought, she turned on her heel and began walking back down the hill.
“Hey! Ymir! Where are you going?” She heard Marco's voice from behind. She ignored him, instead continuing back towards the tree line.
“Ymir!” Marco called again, perhaps thinking she didn't hear him.
***
She really had no idea where she was going. She picked a direction and walked, that was all. They were never going to find that camp. She knew, they all knew, but she just kept walking.
Connie tailed close behind her. He'd been the first to start following her—god knows why. You'd think he'd learned his lesson. Marco and Reiner followed from far behind, Reiner begrudgingly. He seemed smart enough to shut up at least. Otherwise Connie would probably start bitching again. Occasionally Marco would ask where they were going, but after ignoring him for the tenth time he saved his breath.
It wasn't entirely true she had no idea where to go. If she remembered correctly the direction they were headed was towards a lake. Their original path had them nowhere near a lake but what the hell, she had a hunch.
Then she heard it. If you weren't listening for it you wouldn't have noticed at all, but it was there. Faint but, between the crunching of their footfalls and the crashing of wind in their ears, the smallest sound of trickling water.
She closed her eyes, trying to get a sense of the direction it was coming from. It was getting louder. She scanned the snow covered ground. The dark was complete shit. Better yet, their lanterns had gone out an hour ago. She was practically blind.
She stopped, Connie almost running into her. “What is it?” He mumbled like he was half asleep. She crouched down to examine the snow, probing it slowly with her glove. It was wet. Well, wetter than usual. This was it, standing up suddenly, she picked the direction with the greatest incline and started hiking.
She couldn't believe her luck. Maybe she'd truly gone crazy or this was it. Her heart pounded faster, she could smell it. Smoke. It was so close and they hadn't even been walking far. She squinted into the dark sky. There. Black columns of smoke wafted into the sky. She started running, best she could at the steep incline they were at and with her muscles screaming at her. It would all be worth it. When she could see that sight.
They broke into the clearing, panting and hunched over with fatigue. Connie quite literally fell to the ground next to her. She didn't blame him. She was wiped out, but most of all she couldn't believe her eyes. In front of them was the clearing and dozens upon dozens of her comrades.
“How did you know where to go?” Marco's voice pierced her ears. She opened her eyes, Marco stood above her, peering down at her as she lay in snow. She felt relief heavy in her bones, but after finding out there were in fact no cabins and they were forced to sleep in the fucking snow, well. She had a nice life.
“Um… hello,” Marco waved his gloved hands in front of her face.
Ymir gave him an annoyed squint. “Stream,” she grunted.
“What?” Marco brows furrowed, “what are you talking about?”
“Took a guess. Figured the camp might be near water, nothing else to it. Now fuck off.” Ymir closed her eyes again, hoping he would take the hint. After a few seconds, she heard the crunching of footsteps fading away.
Finally. Even though she couldn't feel anything, and her fingers felt like falling off. At least there was nothing to think about anymore. She could just enter the void of sleep right there in the snow. She didn't know how long she was lying there before the sound of crunching snow returned next to her head.
“For God's sake Marco–”
A pair of dark blue eyes peered down at her from within a wooly parka. That face, sent her anger away in an instant.
“Oh it's you,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.
“Are you alright? Marco told me you guys got lost,” she crouched down so she hovered close above Ymir's face, concern painted plainly on her face, “You must be exhausted.”
“I'm alright, love,” she sighed. She honestly didn't have the energy to punch herself for indulging in such coddling from Krista. Besides, it was making her feel better. In fact, it was so nice, she could sleep right there…
“Ymir! I know you're tired but don't you need to eat? You should try to get warm. You could get sick.”
Ymir just groaned. “It's okay, I'll just lay here…”
“C'mon. Get up,” She felt a light punch on her shoulder, then when that didn't work, a warm hand wrapped around her arm, yanking it.
“Geez,” Ymir grumbled, sitting up begrudgingly, mostly to stop Krista from wasting her energy.
Krista led them through the mess that was their campsite. Dozens of makeshift shelters littered the snow along with ransacked backpacks and empty bed rolls. Nearby she spotted Sasha clinging onto Mikasa, screeching something about starving.
When they reached what was presumably Krista's shelter, none other than Reiner’s big head was crouched in the entrance, talking to what looked like an asleep Annie.
As if startled, Reiner suddenly spun around, hitting his head on the roof, sending a pile of snow cascading.
“Ymir! There you are,” Reiner started, as if he was looking for her the whole time, “Thanks for getting us out of there. You really saved us,” he gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder along with his signature smile.
Ymir bought back a string of curses floating in her head. “I better not see you sneaking around Krista's stuff anymore,” she gritted out, shrugging his hand off.
“R-right,” his smile twitched before he unceremoniously walked back towards the others, giving Krista a quick, sheepish wave as he went.
Ymir settled into a dry patch of ash in the front of Krista’s shelter, a warm pile of embers lightly burned there. But it was hardly enough to keep the biting wind from her face. Krista crouched beside her, rummaging through her heavy backpack with furrowed brows.
“What did you bring?” Krista asked, her hands digging past layers of clothes to the bottom. She paused when she pulled out just two potatoes and a single, half-crushed loaf of bread. “This is it?”
Ymir shifted, her expression unbothered. “Well, I had more, but I ate it.”
“Ymir…” Krista sighed, her exasperation plain as she pulled out her own water and pressed it into Ymir’s lap, along with a ration packet. Ymir rolled her eyes, half-ready to make a snide comment about Krista’s relentless kindness, but something in Krista’s look stopped her.
She took the canteen with a grumble, twisting the cap open and taking a reluctant sip. “Happy?” She ignored the ration packet.
Krista watched her, a small smile flickering across her face. “When did you get here?” Ymir grumbled.
“Around seven,” Krista replied, looking down at her own empty canteen, as though she wished she could offer more.
“Lucky you,” Ymir mumbled, remembering the hours she and her squad had spent wandering blindly through the forest.
Krista’s gaze turned soft, her eyes sweeping over Ymir’s exhausted face. “Where are you going to sleep?”
Ymir shrugged, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. “Probably over there.” She pointed to the flimsy shelter they’d just passed—a mess of broken branches and loose snow.
“You can’t stay there… It barely has a roof,” she protested.
“It’ll be fine,” Ymir muttered, waving it off. “I’ll just fix it up.”
Krista’s lips pressed into a pout, clearly unimpressed. “You should at least get your squad to help you.”
Ymir snorted, her eyes narrowing. “HA, no way.” She crossed her arms tighter over her chest. “Trust me, they’re the last people who should be helping.”
“Then I’ll help you,” Krista offered, her voice soft as she reached for Ymir’s arm.
“Are you kidding? Did you not hear what I just said?” Her voice sharp.
“But you’re exhausted,” somehow she pouted even further, looking up at her with big blue eyes, Ymir knew it was all a ploy. Behind that well-constructed facade she could see the subtle dark circles forming under her eyes. Her voice and movements seemed slower than usual, and her face fell into a tired frown when she thought no one was looking.
“Let me help,” Krista tried again, this time scooting closer to Ymir.
Ymir resisted the urge to shove the girl off her. Seriously, when did she get so clingy? She pushed herself to her feet, scowling down at Krista. “Forget about it,” she snapped, harsher than intended. “Just go to sleep,” Her voice softer as she walked off, not bothering to catch Krista's expression.
The lean to was looking a little better, but it was hardly livable. The giant hole in the roof was gone, but snow was still seeping in. To make things worse she couldn't find anything to stuff between the skinny logs. She probably spent most of her time scanning the snow covered floor for branches or anything. This was just great. Not only was she entirely spent from over twelve hours of trudging through snow, she also missed the window for gathering anything remotely useful.
Glancing at other people's shelters, they had either used a combination of branches, small twigs and mud. She even noticed someone using a blanket as a tarp. You'd think they would've told us we have to build our own shelters. Then again, it's probable they did and Ymir just didn't hear. She sighed. It looked like she would be sleeping in snow whether she wanted to or not.
She looked back at the campsite, her jaw clenching. Almost everyone had gone to sleep already, either under their shelters or cramped around the fire pits. The campsite had three fire pits, but two of them had already gone out, the small streams of smoke still rising from its dull embers. The last fire still had one person keeping it going though. Marco. Of all people. She could barely make out his freckled face behind the bright, red flames.
There was one other person still awake. Well, “awake” if she was being generous. A certain blonde sat huddled in front of her shelter, her head resting atop her knees. Ymir had preferred not to look at her as she seemed insistent on staring at her the entire time she was building her stupid lean-to. But she finally fell asleep, so Ymir granted herself a glance at her sleeping form. She had half a mind to march over there and scold her for sleeping in the cold. She scoffed at herself. What a hypocrite she was.
If anything she still had her bed roll. If she slept next to the fire she might not freeze to death. Her eyes passed over the still roaring fire. In an instant, a set of green eyes caught her through the flames. They were poised with an obvious question, an invitation. But also, surprisingly something else. Smugness.
Fuck that.
She’d lay next to one of the dead fires if she had to. At least there the ground might be dry. Ignoring the stinging pain of her soles, she bent down and dug her bed roll out the white snow, shaking it dry. “I should just throw you in the fire,” she muttered, eyes glaring at the useless thing that was her lean-to. After all she had basically just wasted her hard work for no reason.
She plopped down her bed roll getting into it without ceremony. At this point she was just happy to be laying down. It didn't matter if she would freeze in her sleep. She would deal with it tomorrow, or better yet she would die and never have to deal with this hellscape again.
Wet. Cold.
She opened her eyes, painfully aware of the way her body shook uncontrollably. She'd been drifting in and out of sleep for the last hour, but now the thought of sleep was so far away.
Her whole body felt like ice. The sharp, freezing air burned her lungs and throat. She tried breathing into her wet palms, but the temporary warmth quickly left her, leaving her fingertips numb. She sunk into herself, as if she could chase the warmth leaving her body. At some point, snow seeped through the thin fabric of her bedroll, soaking her feet and shoulders.
She wanted to just lie there, to close her eyes and pretend she didn’t feel the way her body was aching for warmth. But with every gust of wind, the bitter cold crept closer, leaving her shaking. If she stayed here, she’d freeze before dawn.
Her gaze drifted across the campsite, dead silent. Everybody was either asleep in their shelters or piled on one another, chasing each other's warmth. She spotted Krista’s shelter in the faint moonlight. The flimsy little structure looked sturdier, warmer than her own miserable attempt. And she knew Krista was in there, probably fast asleep, unaware that Ymir was out here, suffering.
The thought left a sour taste in her mouth, but her body was already moving before she could talk herself out of it. Ymir pushed herself up, dragging her bedroll behind her as she trudged through the snow, her steps clumsy and reluctant.
Inside the den like structure, what looked like Annie huddled in her own bed roll on one side, while Krista's small form curled on the other. Between the two of them, it was a tight fit, but carefully, if she squeezed into the space between Krista and the edge of the shelter…
She hovered there for a moment, watching Krista’s body slowly rise and fall. Her body made up its mind before she could. Slowly, she laid her wet bedroll beside Krista's, opting to just lie on top of it.
She tried to keep as much distance as she could, but warmth radiated off Krista’s body. Hesitantly, she curled closer, until her front barely grazed Krista's dry bed roll.
Warmth immediately spread across her skin, blood rushed through her and she had to hold herself back from sighing. She wasn't sure how much of it was from the shared heat or the close proximity.
Krista stirred slightly, her face shifting out of her bag. Ymir's heart stopped, how would she explain this if Krista woke? She glanced at her slightly reddened face, her eyes closed peacefully. A warm breath ghosted against Ymir’s face.
Ymir swallowed, this was fine.
Her pride slipped away as she let herself close her eyes. Just for tonight. Just until she could feel her fingers again.