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Bilbo Baggins, Consort under the mountain, sighed contently. Today, was one of his few free afternoons—though the duties of consort (or at least consort under the mountain) were mainly to take care of the kingdoms heirs, helping host balls and galas, and being the kings voice of reason during court.
But today, he was happily wonder about the main markets with his husband, Thorin. Currently, he was looking at a set of carved wooden farm animals. “What do you think dear?” He asked Thorin. Gently cradling the wooden cow. “Excellent work Amrâlimê, but do you asl?” He said, distantly seeing the Dwarf beam at his kings praise. “Why, you know I’m in contact with some family in the Shire! And they’re expecting. I figured the child could do with some Dwarven toys! Lucky number six and all!” He grinned up at the dark hair dwarf king briefly before returning to looking at the carved toy.
The king let out a strangled gasp, and took a small step back. “Thorin?” He asked suddenly concerned. “Six?” He asked staring down his hobbit. “Well..yes? Why?” The dwarf who was selling the toys coughed. “My lord Consort, six children is..truly a blessing! Our kind struggle to conceive one. To have two heirs is already such a blessing! I could not fathom six!” He sputtered, pale and clutching his abdomen as if he was feeling the pains of birth.
Nodding, still a bit confused, “Well all Hobbits and their families are blessed by the Lady Yavana! We are all her children and are given our lady’s blessings! Besides, hobbit bodies—especially our women folk—are built for building their own loving families because of her blessings!” He smiled, shrugging it off. “I see..” he murmured. “Yes I think these will be enjoyed throughly. I’ll take a set of these please!” He set the display animal back down with the rest, and pulled out a purple velvet pouch filled with coins.
The dwarf carefully wrapped the toys up and refused any payment only wishing Bilbo sent his wishes of an easy birth to his cousin. Bilbo grinned, taking the small box from the dwarfs hands sending another thanks to him. “Amrâlimê…is it true? Your kind are truly blessed with Lady Yavanas gift of fertility?” Thorin asked, almost nervous. “Well..yes? Why dearest?” Thorin did not answer only shook his head with a look he could not read and took the box from him.
——
Only a few weeks later, when he was (supposed to be standing beside Thorin) sitting on the arm of Thorins throne. His husband had an arms wrapped around Bilbo’s waist, occasionally squeezing his hip or pinching his upper thigh.
They were currently at the sixth Durin’s Day celebration under the mountain since reclaiming it. He had (apparently) put the thought of making it a public celebration for all in Thorins head when he was reminiscing about the parties of the shire and how it was one big social
event. The king had liked that, and wanting to give his people any chance to celebrate and experience joy, and made Durin’s Day a day of mourning as much as a day of celebration.
Thorin tried to weakly pull Bilbo back down to his seat. “Now now, I just want to mingle! It does me no good to sit here and make people think that I’m superior!” He laughed, standing fully and breezing my down from the throne to the drinks table. There a Dam approached on her husbands arm nervously asking “My Lord Consort? A word if I may have a moment of your time?” The Consort nodded, smiling easily “Of course madame!” The woman turned a pretty pink under her golden beard.
The Dam was of a lower class, easily told by the simpler and worn clothes she was dressed in. “Word has spread, of the Blessing of hobbits from the Lady Yavana….I have always dreamed to carry a babe, but I never been able to carry to full term. I wonder if you could grant us your blessing?” She asked nervously, voice sparking with hope. “I…of course! I hope your next pregnancy will be to term, I have seen the trauma of not being able to carry to full term.” He said solemnly if not a bit confused.
The woman beamed, tears sparking in her eyes. Her husband too, thanking him profusely. “Of course? However I hope you will allow me to take your time up during your pregnancy?” The couple nodded, suddenly much more giddy than when first approached. “That..yes! This blessing is one that I cannot articulate my gratefulness for!” She nearly sobbed, wrapping him in a hug. Her thick arms squeezed him gently, and after a moment he hugged her back.
When they pulled away, he was wrapped in the hug by her husband. She all hugs were done Bilbo pulled them away from the drinks and in conversation about the babe. “Do you hope for a boy or girl?” The woman’s husband spoke, hand pressing against her stomach. “Well..if I am to be honest I have always wished for a daughter of my own. But the birth rate among my people of 3:1 in favor of males.” She agreed with a nod. “Ah well, oddly enough it’s almost reverse in the Shire. We have a near 3:1 ratio of girls to boys!” He laughed lightly. “I was quite the surprise! Everyone thought I’d be a girl, there hadn’t been a son born in my mother’s family in nearly 300 years!” He revealed, chuckling. “Truly?” She whispered.
Bilbo hummed softly and that made them face each other “Oh Shaada! Think of it, a daughter of our own!” He whispered, near tears. “Oh my Vorknin, a daughter is a dream!” They pressed a quick but passionate kiss to each others lips. “Yes, I imagine. In the Shire as a boy I’d be tasked with braiding ribbons in my girl cousins hair. Some of them were particularly sneaky so they had bells attached to their hair.” The couple laughed heartily.
They let Bilbo continue to share stories and advice about dealing with children. “You have experience with children?” “Ohe yes! Since I confirmed I’d basically never marry a hobbit—which.” He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, drawing giggles from them. “So I basically became the child minder, since it is generally accepted that elder siblings shouldn’t be turned into another parents, so they needed a child minder and it always seemed to be me. So I became quite used to dealing with a dozen or so children at a time.” The dwarf couple always seemed shocked by the amount of children for a moment before pressing closer.
They chatted for a few minutes longer before the bell rang symboling the dinner feast was about to begin. “Oh! I’ll find you after dinner, and we can discuss the details of our next meeting!” The blonde hobbit promised, rushing back to reunite with Thorin, who was awaiting him with a soft smile.
Dinner passed quickly, with minimal food fights and conversations alike. Dessert was much more joyful, more attune to the celebration of future generations wealth and their flourishing kingdom. After plates were gathered and people started to retire for the night, he confirmed his visit to his sitting room for tea and snacks.
——
Over the next few weeks Shaada and Vorknin were regular guests in the Consort under the mountains sitting room. Bilbo was the first to know of their confirmed pregnancy, to which he teared up. “Oh congratulations!” He cried, pouring her more medicinal tea. “We cannot thank you enough Lord Consort!” Vorknin bowed his head.
Bilbo flushed a deep red, and offered them roasted chickpeas he’d tossed in yeast. “Here, these should be good for the babe.” He said with a smile. “My people have plenty of recipes to benefit the child and mother during her pregnancy. These recipes have nutritional benefits for both mother and child.” He explained further, watching her happily munch on the snacks. He’d provided. “Truly?” Her husband asked. “Oh yes! If there is anything a hobbit is an expert on, it is food!” Bilbo laughed enthusiastically.
——
Word had quickly spread of the Consort giving his blessing of fertility to a Dam and her husband to carry a child to term. The elder Dwarrow scoffed bitterly at the notion that a simple halfling could bring about such blessings. The younger Dwarrow—especially the few Dams in their numbers—raved and yakked about slowly re-kindling their dreams of children of their own. The three younger children mused over siblings or cousins, and a few remained on the fence, choosing to decide their stance when or if the child was born.
The Dam, a Guardswoman called Shaada was now heavily pregnant, and often seen accepting food with the hobbit or out and about with her in the market. Occasionally accompanied by the king himself, often the Consorts nephews, and always by her fellow guards (who worked full time to keep the local hobbit safe). The Consort would chatter on about teas and to help with morning sickness, and snacks to make sure the child was safe. The Dwarrow of Erebor truly had no idea how a hobbits blessing would work, nor the ins and outs of the rituals itself, but they seemed accepting of it enough.
Eventually the day came, when labor started. Bilbo paced anxiously outside the door with Vorknin as Shaada screamed in pain. Over the 13 months she carried (‘I can’t believe it! I’ve never been full term in all our tries! And never had such an active child!’ She laughed merrily through hormone driven tears) the babe, they’d grown close. And Bilbo hoped that all his (minimal) help would come to fruition.
Bilbo prayed to Lady Yavana every second he was outside that door, asking for a safe delivery and healthy babe. And then he would pray to Lord Mahal to deliver the babe safely and healthy, to watch over his creations.
The wait was agonizing, hearing her screams and swears, the healers bustling about the room, her cries. Poor Vorknin appeared to be on the verge of passing out. “Do not worry Vorknin, she is strong.” Weakly Vorknin retaliated “you worry.”
Anxiously Bilbo replied “Because I know that your people struggle to conceive, and it can often be dangerous to the mothers. I know she is strong but she is..she is my friend.” He said softly, collapsing beside Vorknin. “I see. While I cannot say that I understand your choice to befriend a simple carpenter and guard as Consort under the mountain…it is sweet.” Vorknin smiled, but his eyes remained distantly focused on the cries of his wife.
Hours past in the blink of an eye and finally, they were allowed in. Bilbo stayed in the hallway for an hour to give the new parents a moment alone. When he did get to his friends bedside, he was met with tears. “Was..is everything alright..with the birth?” Panic surged through him. “No, no my friend. This is much better, they are being cleaned now.” Shaada reassured. “I must thank you, for your blessing has given my husband and I a family. And when we expected one boy child, your blessing gave us two healthy girl children.” Shaada cried, sweaty and tired, hugging Bilbo.
And Bilbo cried hugging Shaada back murmuring congratulations to her. Shaada cried too, blubbering her thanks to him still. “What will you name them?” He asked her. Meekly she said “We hadn’t even thought of one girl name, so we..don’t know.” Smiling reassuringly Bilbo patted her arm. “That’s quite fine! Why my mother wasn’t named for the first six months of her life, they waited for her personality to truly shine before naming her. It’s perfectly common in the shire! Encouraged even!” That seemed to ease the new parents greatly, and Bilbo saw how truly excited but terrified they were.
Sucking in a breath Bilbo whispered “If I may offer some advice?” Frantic nods were his response “I was never a father, but I was the designated child minder in the Shire. And one thing I learned very quickly that children can be overwhelming especially to new parents, so my advice is to try and find time for yourselves even if it’s in the three hours they sleep. Find each other. Okay?” Vorknin nodded resolutely, brown eyes firm. “And remember that you are doing your best, and that is all you can do.” He added on thoughtfully, feeling better when his new found friends seemed to feel better.
Silence rang true for three beats before two beaming healers brought out two bundles-one a blush pink, the other a deep purple. “Here they are, the blessings themselves! One announced quietly, passing Shaada the purple bundle and Vorknin the pink one. Bilbo leaned over and cooed at them. They were both still quite red in the face, with a thick dusting of Vorknins blonde hair on their head and chin and from their fluttering glances Shaadas green eyes.
The parents cried and kissed their children, which made Bilbo turn away in fear of disrupting their moment. “Lord Consort Bilbo? We have a request..if you hear it?” Bilbo smiled widely at his friends. “Of course, and really I insist it’s just Bilbo! We’re friends!” Vorknin squared his shoulders and finally turned his soft eyes to the Hobbit. “In our culture, we have…well the literal translation is Hearth-children. And they are bestowed upon close friends or family so if something leaves the parents unable to raise the child, they will still have a parent. Would you…accept them as your Hearth-Children?” Now, Bilbo cried. “Yes! Oh this an honor thank you for trusting me with them!” He sobbed, covering his face. “No, you have given us the blessings of a lifetime in the form of our girls. It is us who should thank you.” Shaada argued (still! He thought to himself).
———
Bilbo stayed that night and next day m in the sitting room of Vorknin and Shaadas house, while Vorknin traveled between his own work Shaadas work, and their friends Bilbo cooked up a storm. He made snacks o’ plenty that required no or little to no preparation so Shaada could get food easy enough. Froze meals like soups, stews, and other dishes in the cold storage so Vorknin could simply put them over the fire for a good meal.
He finished the nursery for them (which was really just putting the sheets and covers on everything that required one), bought them plenty of clothes made for all sizes (all smocked so there were no shoulder seams so the child could wear them longer), soft stuffed toys, corn husk dolls, and wooden figurines of all kinds. He hadn’t bought them wooden weapons, nor hair accessories instead choosing to let the new parents do that instead.
Sighing happily, Bilbo carefully folded the blanket he’d found returned it to the closet, put the pillow back in its place and slipped out of the front door leaving only a note in one of the babies cribs. Content he returned to the royal wing where his family was arguing loudly about something.
The door shutting made them all still and snap their heads to him. “Uncle!” Two voices cried sandwiching him in a hug. “Yes! Hello boys! I won’t be seeing you for much longer if you don’t let me go soon though!” He wheezed, patting them as best as he could on their heads. “Where have you been?! We had half the mind this send out Dwalin!” Dis scolded him harshly, voice raising back to a yell.
Even through her yelling, he properly greeted the two young princes who hugs and a kiss on the head each. Then let Thorin pull him his shaking arms. Quietly, he soothed his husband and relaxed into his hold. “So tell me where HAVE you been?!” Dis demanded, broad chest heaving. “With Shaada and Vorknin. We’d been having tea in their sitting room when her water broke, so I went with them to the birthing ward—at the request of Shaada of course! I waited with Vorknin outside and went in to meet the child. Then of course I went back to their home, made them meals that can be reheated easily or small snacks that don’t need much preparation or any at all. It’s Hobbit tradition to do so!” He explained easily. This immediately calmed them and Dis nodded asking “And what did they name the boy?” And Bilbo grinned wider. “Oh well they didn’t have a boy! Twin girls, so they let going to think about some names before officially naming them.”
“What are twins?” Fili asked confused. “Twins? Two babies. At once? How don’t you know this?” Kilis eyes went as wide as saucers crying out “TWO AT ONCE?!” His sister-in-law pressed a hand over her womb like she felt the pain of birthing twins. “Yes! Why are you acting like you don’t know this?” Dryly Thorin rasped “Because this is the first ever recorded birth of these..twins as you call them, let alone girl twins.” Shocked Bilbo coughed and choked on his spit. “Really?! In the Shire it’s more rare to have only one child!” This led to a very odd conversation, that left Fili and Kili looking at him with sparkling eyes.
Nervously Bilbo murmured “Why are you two trouble makers looking at me like that?” They turned to each other and spoke a million words without opening their mouths. “Are some kind of…god? Or perhaps a physical place holder for the Lady Yavana?” Fili whispered apparently in awe of him. “What? No! I’m a regular hobbit!” The blonde hobbit blathered, utterly confused. Thorin crooned something softly about hobbits and being so humble, and his nephews continued to stare at him.
———
After three days it was public knowledge that Bilbo Baggins had helped Shaada to birth two girls (at once!). Bilbo guessed it was because his Family (especially his husband) were proudly boasting about how they’d come to him for his blessing for a child and had gotten two instead.
Shaada had been temporarily dismissed from guard duty to heal and raise the children, and was a near constant visitor in the royal wing daughters in tow. After three weeks their names were announced. Taara and Hillandra, the first ever twin daughters of Erebor and Hearth-Children to the Consort under the mountain.
Fili and Kili were exceptionally happy to have new cousins, along with Gimli who boasted about not being the youngest anymore. Dis could always be found knitting or sewing one thing or another for the girls, and Thorin seemed to be lighter than most remembered him being. And when a baker named Leotti and husband Kelda, came too asking for a blessing from their consort—he agreed quietly confused.
Once he figured out they thought he could grant couples fertility, he greatly disagreed and denied it but none of them listened. He was resigned to his fate.
Leotti had never carried, but knew her mother had lost multiple children before. She feared the same too. Kelda was much softer Vorknin was, though now that Bilbo had ‘given’ them the concept of twins, he supposed more would believe the idea of it. When 13 months passed, they birthed two babies a boy and a girl. And 7 months into Leottis pregnancy Fris and her husband Torak asked for Fertility too.
The children of Leotti and Kelda were born six months later. Their eldest daughter Zelda, and youngest son named Link. Zelda and Link were welcome additions to the growing group of children, along with Freydis, Morrna, and Ragna who came six months later—born a month early and smaller than the rest but still the most rambunctious of the bunch.
Bilbo had been given the pleasure of announcing that he now had seven Hearth-children and minded to them all very well. He also proved to be good for seeking parenting advice from, as long as you stayed for tea. Happily married with Hearth-Children and nephews was all he could ask for, and he was content to give out all the recipes that he’d offered pregnant dams over the seven and a half years this had gone on in trade of this.
In those nearly eight years Shaada had been stationed as his personal guard alongside Dwalin, and Kili had even approached him with Tauriel asking for his blessing of fertility. She was halfway through her pregnancy with (as confirmed by her) a half-elf baby boy, who they planned to call Vili after Kilis long fallen father.
Bilbo knew Tauriel still corresponded with Legolas in Mirkwood, and she confessed to telling him of his blessing. “Elven children are as rare as Dwarven children. And while birth is not as difficult for us as it is Dams, it is all too common for mothers to loose their children. Even in the womb, and if they don’t pass within the first thirty years they are considered to be lucky.” Quietly, she pressed a hand to her growing pregnant belly. “My kind often get lost in our heads, and loose track of time. Even in the case of children, so many choose not to have children. It is a great crime among my people now, but it wasn’t always-oh! Forgive me, as far as I know..elven children are never this active.” She laughed, sounding like wind chimes in the wind. “He is half Kili, so that may be it. Dis tells me Kili was quite the kicker in the womb.” Bilbo laughed.
Sobering Tauriel asked “If..an elven couple came to you asking for your blessing of fertility..would you grant them that? Knowing now what you know?” She asked him nervously. If he was honest, Bilbo was hesitant. “Yes, but they must promise to not loose themselves in the clouds, neglecting a child is a most heinous crime. Even in the shire.” Nodding, she sipped the sweetened tea she held in her opposite hand.
Tea was much smoother after that, and conversations about clothes and the nursery were much more pleasant to digest than the ways of elves—even for Tauriel.
About a month later, he got a request to meet with an Elven couple. “Go figure.” He shrugged, penning a reply and making sure to use his Consort stamp so they would see minimal trouble. “Thorin! Expect some elves! And Not Thranduil!” He yelled, waving the original request above his head. His husband grumbled until he realized why the elves would be here.
Suddenly his husband grew a giant smug grin, calling for Dis to come and read this. “Of course…”. Bilbo rolled his eyes. Thorin would use anything to hold over the Elves heads, even something like this.
The elves arrived and were greeted by Thorin and Bilbo who stood with a tense Shaada and Dwalin behind him. They were called Fenris and Eirien, and had been married for under a century. “We yearn for children, but have no such luck.” Fenris explained gently. “We grew up along with two other siblings, and desire to have children together and love like our did.” Eirien added on softly. “I see” Bilbo mused, motioning for his husband and guard to leave.
Once alone Fenris bowed deeply at the waist and all but begged for his blessing, though his eyes strayed above Bilbo. “While doubt the validity of my so-called magic, I’m happy to give my blessing. So long as you raise the child or children lovingly.” He said sternly. The agreed to his condition, and dropped to their knees pressed kisses to his face.
Awkwardly, he stepped back. “Come now, while Tauriel may enjoy the mountain I’m sure you two won’t. I have some recipes, for foods and teas for you. These are good for both the mother and baby. I highly suggest them—unless you have an allergy. Then don’t.” He added in the allergy bit quickly, since it had only come to him in that moment.
The elves stayed for two weeks, and thanked him again for his blessing before leaving. “What has my life become?” He asked Thorin. “While I cannot answer that, I can say you are a great help to our peoples birthrates.” Thorin chuckled. Bilbo rolled his eyes and threw his arms around Thorins neck
———
TA 2981:
It had been 40 years since Bilbo had been unofficially claimed as the patron stain of fertility under the mountain by the people of Erebor, and 30 since that title was formally recognized. And since then he’d ‘blessed’ many more mothers and had gone from 8 Hearth-Children to 45.
Fili and Kili had never had a large Family. But they adjusted well enough to it, though they still pouted about having to share their beloved uncle so much. Little Gimli seemed most thrilled about being the third eldest after being the youngest for nearly 70 years of his life.
While many of the children’s mother remained formal with him, most talked to him similar to an acquaintance when of the children would run over squealing and giggling. And while he luckily hadn’t had to use his Hearth-Parent rights right (at least beyond minding them for a bit), he still saw the children quite often.
Over the years they continued to get occasional Elven visitors, and was Thorin ever smug about that, but most of his blessings came from young women who yearned for motherhood or women who hadn’t been able to conceive before that moment. All was well, truly.
He was happy in his home with his large hobbit sized-Dwarrow family. Until one day Gandalf came swooping in (he liked to do that now since there were so many children to show his fireworks to with in mountains now) with a letter and a shaking bundle. “Gandalf? What is the meaning of this?” Thorin demanded, the 10 year old daughter of Kili and Tauriel on his knee. She giggled and babbled as if echoing what her great-uncle had said. “News of course!” The wizard chided gently.
Bilbo gasped, hands flying to his mouth. “Uncle?” Fili asked worriedly. The hobbit fluttered past his now concerned family and took the bundle, which still in his arms. “Oh yes I’ll take good care of you darling..” he whispered to it. “Bilbo?” Thorin asked “Is this another of his Hearth-Children? When was the last time we counted?” Kili asked his brother.
“No, this is Frodo. My first cousin from the shire. You remember? I sent Prim and Drogo this blanket ages ago! Oh this is terrible!” Bilbo said, suddenly very emotional. “What’s wrong little brother?” Dis asked, coming up behind him. “Primula And Drogo Baggins drowned, a tragic boating accident out in the Brandywine river.” The wizard said mournfully. For all his meddling he did truly care for Hobbits alike.
Dis squeezed Bilbos shoulder. “I had quite the talk with the Thain about little Frodo, apparently he’s the sole heir to Bag-end and lobelia-sackville Baggins wanted to take custody. I managed to convince him you’d be the proper fit!” Bilbo nodded in thanks. “Well we’ll have to go back to the shire occasionally, but I don’t see why we can’t take him. We already got a garden here and plenty of room.” Dis said observing the baby hobbit before her. He had tufts of dark curly hair and bright blue eyes, with little hands that now grabbed at bilbos suspenders. “Why that’s what I said!” Gandalf grinned, and soon after left on Wizard Business.
“What will the people of Erebor say?” Dis asked absently. “I’m not sure, but Hobbit Faunts are particularly cute so I’m not worried.” Bilbo shrugged with a cheeky smile.